"What are you doing?" I asked as Kimmaru started to poke at my bandages. I looked around, and something seemed wrong. I couldn't remember falling back asleep, but yet it was already night time, "what's going on? When did it become so dark?" I asked frantically, not sure if it was just my vision. The ninja held me from sitting up and smiled sympathetically.
"It has been more than just a night, little one," he said, "you've been with a fever for over a week now. I glad to see you actually awake; there was time I thought I going to lose you." I could only stare at him, in disbelief over the time I had lost. Gently he placed my head into his lap, and began to unwrap the bandage around it.
"You've been having those dreams again haven't you?" he asked acting disinterested. I looked up at him.
"Kimmaru… I…" I started but he cut me off.
"You've been in and out of delirium this whole time. I know that your dreaming of the past again," he stopped bandaging and looked me straight in the eyes, "I don't want to lose you to that again. I made a promise to your brother that I would protect you, Utasai, even if it's from yourself, do you understand?" I nodded as tears started to well up in my eyes.
"I'm okay Kimmaru, I promise." I lied, "They don't bother me as much anymore, it won't be like that again. Only the present is what's important right now." The ninja sighed and finished wrapping my head in a clean bandage. After placing my head back on the grass, he moved over to my leg and gently touched the mangled shin, shaking his head with a sigh. I laughed trying to hide the pain caused by his touch.
"That bad, huh?" I asked, forcing myself to smile. He laughed and turned to his medicine bag.
"I think so," he said grabbing a dark bottle from the overstuffed bag and started shaking it, "it might be the reason for your fever. I know you're pissed about sleeping for so long, but I have to cut it open, and believe me you don't want to be awake for that one." He said with a grin. I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Yeah, I've already had the pleasure of you doing that to me once before, remember? I would rather have you cut my leg off before you do that again." I said making him laugh as he opened the bottle. I was glad to see him smile again; he always seemed constantly worried about me. Gently, he picked up my head again and brought the bottle to my lips.
"Just drink some of this; it'll put you to sleep pretty fast." I did what he said, and he set my head back down as my world started to spin. Already, faces of my past flashed in my head.
I rode silently on a Friesian down a forest trail, the townspeople walked sadly by my side along with the other soldiers. The rebels had overthrown their homes and now tired and wiry, woman and children marched to a dark looming castle.
It was this castle that I looked at now with exhausted eyes. To the townspeople, it meant a constant reminder of the horror they were in, but to me, it meant a soft bed and the safety from being ambushed. A white cloud came from my mouth as a heavy sigh escaped me. A young soldier I had befriended trotted up beside me.
"It'll be nice to see some friendly faces for once. I hear that they have hot baths there as well. Can you imagine, Miss Kattari? For once actually being able to relax in a bath!" He stated with a smile beaming across his bloody, tired face. I weakly smiled back at him, "Don't worry, Ma'am, I'll make sure you're the first one to get the bath. You deserve it, I still can't believe you actually fought the Battosai and survived!"
"I wouldn't claim I survived it just yet." I said, as I felt my body collapse upon my horse's neck. The young soldier's eye went wide.
"Hey! Are you- !" he cried out, and then saw the dark stain of blood through my back. "Oh my God... Commander!" Within seconds, I felt my body into someone's arms. We had already ridden for three hours, and the blood loss finally had gotten to me. I felt the wind hit my face as the horse began to gallop. The feeling seemed so distant; everything in my world began to fade. It didn't seem fair; I vowed to revenge them all, I couldn't die, not yet. Not like this. My world went black.
Suddenly, pain shot through me like lightning as I dropped into someone else's arms. I gasped at the sharp and sudden feeling, suddenly aware of my own life. I grasped frantically to the pain, that feeling meant only one thing, I was still alive as long as I felt that pain. I focused on one task, as I gathered enough strength to open my eyes. A blur of colors bombarded me; it was too much to be able to form any clear picture. I was still weak, and it was effort enough of trying to make some sense of the colors around me.
Right before the exhaustion overcame me a second time, I managed to make out one thing; I was being carried swiftly by a white being with dark hair. An Angel? The thought brought my weak mind to a panic. Maybe I was wrong, maybe the pain I felt was something I was trying to remember from life, that it wasn't real. Could I be, in fact, dead? Through the panic, something hit my face. It was warm, and there was a distant smell of sweat and stone. I smiled and looked up at the "angel" holding me. We had just entered the castle. Calm relief swept over me, and I fell back into the darkness knowing that I was in safety's arms
I awoke once again with my spinning, people were all around me trying to take my armor and battle kimono off, trying frantically to save my life. Nausea overwhelmed me, but I couldn't muster enough to throw up. Everything faded once again, and I slipped into a dreamless sleep.
When I finally opened my eyes I felt stable. I could feel a soft bed underneath me, and a warm blanket was tucked tightly around my body. Slowly I opened up my eyes, breaking the layer of crust between them. I looked up at the grey stone ceiling. I could feel a presence beside me, and slowly I worked up enough strength to turn my head to it. It was a man sitting beside my bed writing in something that looked like a journal. His black hair shook gently as he crossed something out that he was writing. I frowned; he seemed to be only a year older then me at best. There were so many young faces in this war. I looked at the long white coat he wore. It was a style that was unknown to me; a style from the west.
"Are you the doctor?" I asked, mortified by the weakness in my own voice. He looked up with slight shock, and then smiled sweetly at me.
"Okina said you weren't to wake up for at least two months, if at all. It's only been six weeks; I praise your fortitude young lady." I looked back at the stone ceiling. I could hear moans of dieing soldiers in the room. My heart sunk, they were going to die in vain. We were not going to win this war. I blocked out the moans and focused on the man beside me once again.
"So if you're not the doctor. Then why are you near me then?" I asked with a growl. In my mind, I had been dead since the beginning of this terrible war. I didn't need the sympathy of others.
"Oh! I'm sorry; it was rude of me not to introduce myself. My name is Shinomori Aoshi; I am the Okashira of the Oniwabanshuu, a group charged to protect this structure. I heard you got these wounds by fighting the Battosai." I brought my hand quickly to my face at the remembrance of that night. Stitches held the wound tightly closed; however, even with their presence, I knew I wound have a deep scar. Not waiting to see if I'd either boast or deny it, he continued, "I see in your eyes that you did, the other call you the Hitokiri Kattari; a great manslayer. Maybe even greater than they give you credit for perhaps. Many saw the Batto walk away with a great wound on his face." I grinded my teeth in frustration; I cared not for face wounds, I wanted him dead.
"Barely a scratch, when he almost killed me." I growled. Shinomori laughed, I shot a glare at him.
"But you wounded him!" he cried happily, "you did something that many could never even wish! And the fact that you're a girl at that –"he stopped short as I wrapped my hand around his throat.
"And what is that supposed to mean!" I shot with rage in my eyes. However with my strength drained, all I had really done was surprise the man not anywhere near begin to choke him. The Okashira brought my hand down slowly with a sympathetic smile. With that smile I wanted nothing more than to send my katana through his chest.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "Please forgive me. I only mean you the greatest of respect, my lady." He got up and bowed. "I will take my leave of you, I am sorry I have bothered you so." He turned to leave, and images of blood and death flashed through my mind. Suddenly I found myself grabbing his hand, surprising him as well as myself.
"Please..." I said, disgusted at the words coming from my mouth, "Please don't leave me..." I wanted nothing more than to impale him, but here I was pleading him to stay. The man in white, Shinomori Aoshi, just smiled. However, this smile was more understanding than sympathetic. I hated him for it.
"Alright." He stated quietly and sat back down, "I'll make sure you're never alone again."
My dream ended with that, and when I awoke, I smiled sadly through my fever. One good thing in a world full of nightmares. That one thing had kept me running all this time, and it would give me the strength to heal. Soon I would be able to fight Himura Kenshin, the Hitokiri Battosai, once again…