My oh my, it's been a while since I've updated. I finally got to do it though. I actually made this chapter kind of funny...only at the end...I think. I can't even remember...oy. I need help...not literally, but I need to start updating more. I have been so involved with playing my new PS2...yes you heard right, I got a new ps2! Yay! Anyway, I haven't played DW in a long time, I've only been playing Xenosaga episode 1 and 2. I still have the warriors spirit though! Next chapter...is the Sneeze of Doom! Muahahahaha!

Ch. 5-Sneeze of Doom

Zhen Ji and Cao Pi had just arrived at Cao Cao's tent. They noticed that he was out cold. Cao Pi sighed and they both decided not to wake him. They walked back out only to see Zhang He wondering around aimlessly.

"Zhang He! Over here!" Zhen Ji waved to him as he turned to see her. He hesitated and then made a smile, then he ran over to the two. "Lady Zhen! I've been looking all over for you! I see that you two all ready knew of the enemy. I was going to help…but I had forgotten my beautiful talons. When I finally returned…everything was all over." Zhen Ji laughed slightly as Cao Pi only had an annoyed look on his face.

"That isn't you at all. You never leave those behind." Zhen Ji remarked as she weaved her arm out from Cao Pi's. He only grunted and decided to cross his arms instead. "You looked like you were lost. I thought you were always aware of the battlefield." She continued. "Well, yes, normally I would know my way around, but this place is so unfamiliar that it stumped me." Zhang He gave a weak smile.

"Anyway, we should probably wake Lord Cao Cao so that we can get a move on to the palace for our wedding day…right dear?" Zhen Ji turned to look at Cao Pi. He closed his eyes and nodded. "Then lets hurry." Zhen Ji and Cao Pi walked back into Cao Cao's tent and before long reunited with Zhang He outside.

"That didn't take long." Zhang He said. "My father isn't a heavy sleeper." Cao Pi said as he walked by Zhang He to mount his horse that was nearby. "Well…let…go" Cao Cao, dazed and confused, wobbled over to his own horse. Zhen Ji and Zhang He followed on foot behind them. After a while, Zhen Ji was offered a seat with Cao Pi and accepted it. Zhang He only continued to skip behind them, explaining that he was practicing his flowing movements that would soon be used on the battlefield.

A few hours passed and it had turned night out. The trail that they were traveling was now lit up with a few burning posts. Fireflies blinked out in the distant woods and the chirps of crickets were heard. The soldiers near the rear of the pack were getting tired and fatigued, as well as Zhang He. He had now started to drift in and out of sleep, sometimes tripping over himself and making him more alert.

"Maybe we should take a break for now. Not only are our soldiers getting tired, but I am as well." Zhen Ji complained, leaning against Cao Pi's back. "I must agree. Father, lets set up camp here for tonight." Cao Cao didn't answer. Cao Pi sighed and halted his horse, letting his father's horse slowly walk on, but not for long. He grabbed the reigns and pulled the horse back. The horse stopped abruptly, somewhat waking the Wei emperor. "Where are we?" Cao Cao said drowsily. No one answered him, so he decided to fall back asleep.

"Finally! We can take a break! Any more walking and I would've started to walk while sleeping." Zhang He complained, slightly staggering to the right. "I agree. I will definitely fall into the deepest sleep in years. Yuan Xi was always the loudest snoring man on this earth, I swear!" Zhen Ji hopped off the horse, but landed and collapsed immidiatly. "Let's hurry and put up the tents so we all can get some rest." Cao Pi rushed and they gathered all of the equipment.

About an hour after the quick-set-up tents were up, everyone got in them and went to bed. Cao Pi and Zhen Ji were in the same tent, Cao Cao and Xiahou Yuan were in another and Zhang He got the luxury of having his own tent. Dian Wei and Xu Zhu were in another tent, Xu Huang and Zhang Liao in another tent and Sima Yi and Cao Ren shared another. Other tents were filled with three soldiers each.

In the morning, they gathered everything back and put it in an organized fashion. The soldiers got to carry the equipment. Earlier that morning, Cao Cao noticed that they had, once again, forgotten about Xiahou Dun. He sent a patrol group to go and retrieve him. They continued on without him. When Xiahou Yuan got the news, he couldn't help but to burst out in a bundle of laughter. Eventually they settled him down and started toward the palace.

Just when they were about a few hours away, a stray messenger appeared out of the direction they were going. "Lord Cao Cao! The castle…has been raided! We don't know who could have done this, but it was only a small group of men. Some of your most valuable items have been stolen…" "What?" Cao Cao exclaimed, concerned about his castle and the items. "Are they still there?" Cao Pi asked, hoping to find out that they were. "Yes, it seems that it is being taken over…disrespecting our Lord's treasures!" Then Cao Cao kicked his horse into a running stage, a disgusted look appearing on his face.

"We must follow! He will need moral support." Xiahou Yuan shouted as he drove his horse past Zhang He, Zhen Ji and Cao Pi. "You've just stated the obvious Yuan…" Cao Pi noted and sighed. Then he heeled his horse, almost making Zhen Ji fall off the back when the horse reared up, and took off, Zhang He running behind.

When they got to where the castle was clearly visible, they all dropped their jaws to the sight. The Wei banners had been shredded and a bon-fire glowed with them, lone warriors were sitting around it, laughing and drinking, misusing Cao Cao's property and the treasure was carelessly thrown around, making the ground glitter. Cao Cao had apparently gotten off of his horse in rage as he stood silently, staring at the intruders with distaste.

"Those damn scoundrels. How dare they disrespect the name of Wei…and to think that it is only a group of bandits that my men couldn't out stand?" Cao Cao bellowed, making sure that the bandits could hear him. "What's that old geezer talking about?"

Cao Cao became outraged. "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" The men were startled at the sudden burst of anger. "I'll teach you a lesson!" Cao Cao charged the enemy on his own, grabbing his sword and unsheathing it while running towards the enemy.

"What a dumb ass." Cao Pi rudely commented as he stood from the sidelines and watched his father run straight into the enemy alone. "Then again, if he dies then I can take over this land…GO FATHER GO!" Cao Pi cheered on. Zhen Ji only rolled her eyes and turned to Zhang He, who had shown up a few seconds before.

"What do you think about this situation?" She asked. Zhang He hesitated a while, tilting his head in the process. "They are bound to have some sort of ambush waiting at the top of the castle. Most likely arrows." He informed, putting his hand under his chin. Just then, Xiahou Yuan ran past them, holding his club in the air, screaming a war cry. As he past, his horse threw dust in the air, making Zhang He and Zhen Ji cough.

"Wow…that was odd…and he got me all dirty!" Zhang He complained, dusting himself off. Zhen Ji only replied with a small sneeze that seemed to catch the attention of all the soldiers around her. "What are you looking at? A-A-achoo!" Suddenly the soldiers started to laugh. Even Cao Pi put on the smallest smile. "What's so funny?" She yelled, hoping to get the answer.

"Lady Zhen, I've never heard you sneeze before…you have the smallest and cutest sneeze that I've ever heard!" Zhang He said, while giving off his own little laugh. "Come on! It's just a sneeze!" Zhen Ji felt heat rise in her cheeks as she began to blush from embarrassment.

A few seconds later, Xiahou Yuan came galloping back. "Retreat! Retreat!" He had a scared look on his face as he rode on his horse backwards, pointing at the enemy. Cao Cao soon followed, waving his hands in the air. "Damn…he didn't die. I really hate you now father!" Cao Pi yelled after his father. He turned around and saw a flood of enemies running at them. "Woah…"

"Eep! Hide me!" Zhang He ran behind the horse, hoping that they would at least hid e him for a little while. "Hey! Don't hide! You have to protect the heir to the thrown!" Cao Pi scolded. "I can't defeat that many people on my own!" Zhang He complained.

"Quit your whining and get out there!" Cao Pi yelled. Zhang He sighed and slowly walked out from behind the horse. "If I die, it's your fault…" He said with a small frown on his face.

All of a sudden, thousands of bandits came flocking over to Zhang He, staring weirdly at him.

"You're a beauty…where'd you come from?" The bandit leader asked dazed. Zhang He's eyes widened a little bit. "What are you suggesting?"

"Wow…you've got a pretty low voice for a woman…" one of the lower ranked thief's said.

"Woman? No, no, you've got it all wrong my fellow men, I am a man just like you who is about to rip you all apart for CALLING ME A WOMAN!" Zhang He jumped gracefully into the sky, his claws extended out in front of him and jolted down to the ground, knocking the men around him into each other.

"Y-you're not a woman! That's just wrong! Are you gay?" One random man asked, getting up from underneath a pile of bandits.

"How rude!" Zhang He scolded and ripped through him with his claws.