Ch 7 – Unknown Feelings Revealed
It had been about two hours since the Wei army had started towards their own castle. The rain was still pouring, making some of the soldiers cold and drenched. Some came down with a slight cold, but nothing too much to worry over.
Zhen Ji and Zhang He hadn't spoken a word since the fight between Zhen Ji and Cao Pi. To the butterfly General, it seemed much quieter throughout the whole army since that fight and it made him worried. A weak relationship could branch off and split Wei in two, knowing how arrogant Cao Pi and Cao Cao were. Father and son alike.
Zhang He was torn from his line of thought when Zhen Ji turned to him. He didn't look back, but he could feel her stare fall upon him. It was a strange feeling…to have someone stare at him like she was, but he didn't mind. She was a fellow officer, so what would it matter? But…it still made him think about that feeling. It was somewhere deep inside, where he would have to dig to find it.
He finally decided to return her stare. He looked down into her eyes and smiled, wondering what her reaction would be. He figured she would just sigh and look away, but she did the exact opposite.
"He…was there something on your mind? You know…when the battle ended a while ago? You seemed like something was bothering you. Not that I'd normally care to hear what it was about, but it's been bothering me too for some time. I guess you could say I'm a little bit curious as to what made you that way back there." Zhang He opened his eyes and blinked a few times.
"Oh…there wasn't anything wrong. Just a little disappointed that I had been wounded…luckily we have some very skilled healers among our troops." A small patch of silence was bestowed upon the two before a cry rang out.
"There it is! We've finally returned to the castle!" Cao Cao cried out in glee. Cao Pi only gave an annoyed stare at his overly excited father.
"I guess we've arrived at our destination…" Zhen Ji repeated. Zhang He nodded. He could tell that the fight had some effect on her, but not as much as it would when a relationship was deep, one that connected not only feelings, but souls as well. Her relationship wasn't at all like that with Cao Pi. It had been merely on what they had seen, the physical shape that pleased them.
The whole army marched forward and prepared to enter the castle and enjoy a nearby celebration of the victory. First they had to make sure the castle really was cleared of all the bandits that had taken control.
This was where Cao Pi and Zhen Ji were supposed to get married and enjoy their life together, at Xia Pi castle. Zhang He knew better…this marriage wasn't for real just like the fake affection that Cao Pi showed Lady Zhen. All of this 'love' that was supposed to be in the air felt like pure hatred and more of a lust relationship. The Peacock General knew Lady Zhen's heart would be broken only in a matter of time; shattered to pieces like a piece of glass that had fallen on the ground and broke into a million shards.
While Zhang He kept poetically thinking of how gruesome this relationship could get, Zhen Ji approached him in an elegant gown. It was an unusual gown, for it was a deep purple instead of a brilliant white. It had long sleeves that drooped down from her wrists, the cuffs decorated in an elaborate golden design that matched the edges of the bottom of the dress. The silky purple material dragged behind her.
"What do you think He?" She asked, her voice unexpectedly icy in tone. The Butterfly General got up from the chair he had been reminiscing in and walked around her, examining every piece of fabric wrapped around her. The back of the dress had been tied by a few strings, which showed most of her back down to her lower back. When Zhang He had done his full examination, he appeared before the woman and smiled excitedly.
"You look wonderful Lady Zhen! One of the finest materials used for one of the finest women on our side. Beautiful!" He couldn't keep his excitement in any longer, so he decided to dance for a few seconds. He looked over to Zhen Ji and smiled.
"Shall we dance?" He asked, holding his hand out to her. "You might as well have a little bit of practice before you danced with the lucky groom." He added. Zhen Ji hesitated before sighing and taking his hand. It was warm, unlike her own or her soon – to – be husband's. Something about the touch made her heart warm and then melt.
Then she came to a conclusion. "I think it would be better if you taught me how to dance." She smiled at Zhang He's reaction. She knew how much passion he had for the art of dance and he practiced so much, so why shouldn't he teach her some of his moves? She was willing to learn.
"T-t-teach you?!" Zhang He said astounded. He never had the opportunity to teach someone to dance and now Lady Zhen was asking for his assistance? This had to be the happiest day in his life! His heart pounded in his chest in glee as he took Zhen Ji's other hand into his other hand. "I would love to teach you!"
Zhang He began the lessons with basic steps. The two danced in a small circle for about five minutes. After, Zhen Ji was taught some twirls and the last thing He taught her was how to dip.
Zhen Ji leaned her head back, giving her trust to the general before her. Her back arched perfectly while Zhang He held her up gracefully. He then pulled her back up and they met face to face, closer than they had ever been to each other's faces. Zhen Ji felt her cheeks color. Zhang He gulped as he stared her in the eyes, locked and unable to go anywhere else. His cheeks too burned with affection.
Zhen Ji went to take a step back and slipped on her dress, causing her to fall backwards. Instinctively, Zhang He tried to save her from falling. For the first time in his dancing career, he had lost his own balance and fell on the Lady Zhen, making the scene even worse.
"Gah! I'm so sorry Lady Zhen!" Zhang He apologized as he quickly got off of his apprentice and sat next to her, fearing his legs would fail due to his embarrassment. Zhen Ji felt her face go beet red.
"No, no. It's okay, it was my fault for slipping on my own dress anyway…I knew I should've gotten a shorter dress without the fancy tail." She too sat up and rubbed her head.
As if things couldn't get any worse, a messenger was sent into the room and saw the whole entire scene. He just didn't have courage to interrupt them as they fell. Now he had an opportunity to let Zhen Ji know that her groom was waiting for her out in the main hall of the castle.
"Lady Zhen…it's time." The messenger spoke softly, walking up shyly to the two. Zhen Ji stood up and nodded. She fixed her dress and grabbed the bouquet from the messenger. Just as Zhen Ji was about to leave, she turned her head to Zhang He, a look that seemed more horrified and disgusted than happy and excited like a bride should be on her wedding day. Zhang He stood and saw her expression just before she walked through the door to go to the main hall.
The butterfly General was now free to show the expression he had kept inside for what seemed like forever. He looked down at the tiled floor beneath his feet with that same forlorn look upon his facial features that he had when he had gotten hurt in the bandit fight. This gaze was more intense…for he had just found out what had been hidden deep inside his heart. The feeling was love. He had fallen for his leader's fiancée. He could have told her when they were dancing, or when he had saved her, but instead of doing that he simply let her slip through his fingers.
"So many opportunities I should have made use of…and I failed to show the greatest affection of them all. I only wish I had known sooner…" He whispered to himself. He looked back up and then went and sat in the chair from earlier. His elegant lips began to quiver and his eyes burned with tears. He couldn't hold it in any longer. This was a perfect time to let it all out…in a room alone.
He pulled his knees up to his forehead, wrapped his arms around them and began to sob. It had been a long time since he cried like this. He knew it wasn't allowed…it only showed weakness and weakness wasn't beautiful. But all Earth's creatures had weakness somewhere in them and were still beautiful, did they not?
"Lady Zhen. You know, you've forgotten to pick the best man for this event." The messenger reminded as he escorted the frail woman down the halls.
"I thought my fiancée would handle that."
"He told me to let you choose." Zhen Ji stopped abruptly and turned to the messenger.
"Then I choose Zhang He as my best man for this wedding." She answered. "Go get him…now." She threatened. The messenger didn't know why she threatened him, but he quickly did as he was told. He bowed and ran back to fetch Zhang He, leaving Zhen Ji to stand in the middle of the hall.
Her thoughts went wild. The dance Zhang He had taught her was indeed a graceful flow of wonderful dance techniques that flowed together like the running water of a river. Only he could instruct a piece that beautiful. The only thing was that she knew Cao Pi wouldn't be able to dance as elegantly as the Peacock general had. His hands would feel like ice compared to He's, his steps more rough than smooth and his technique wouldn't fit the feel of the dance.
She gazed at the floor and began to think about Zhang He. She knew something was strange about him when they had danced…besides her own blush, she noticed that he did the same. He seemed to treat her better than anyone else in Wei, even Cao Pi. He gave her whatever she wanted; he entertained her and always tried to cheer her up with his eloquent dancing.
The way she was describing him in her mind…why was she thinking of him this way? What pushed her to think of him in the first place? Was it the way he danced? The way his touch felt? Or was it the fact that she was in love with him and not Cao Pi? She didn't know the other answers to the previous questions. She only knew the last one…and she knew that she loved him more than Cao Pi, but she had all ready given her soul to the devil and she couldn't go back on her word.
She sighed, trying to keep approaching tears from getting through her icy defense. She blinked and it all melted away. The warmth of the tears flowing down her cheeks didn't help at all. They only made everything worse. The warmth they gave felt like the touch of Zhang He's hand on her hand. She had to stop crying or else her make-up would show everything. She gently and carefully wiped the tears off her cheeks.
"Is this really the right choice?" She asked herself softly, a voice that she had never spoken in before. She closed her eyes, trying to meditate and get her icy layer back to keep everything out until the wedding was over.
I've been waiting to get this chapter up and running! I worked hard on it and stayed up until 2 in the morning to type it. Of course, I stay up that late anyway. I also tried using...big words! (dun dun dun...) Okay, so I tried to get as descriptive as possible. And I think that's as descriptive as I CAN get. So, I hope you all in enjoyed! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!