OKAY I CAN BASICLY READ YOUR THOUGTS RIGHT NOW, THEY ARE SAYING "YOU STUPID IDOIT WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO UPDATE!" WELL THE ANSWER TO THAT IS SCHOOL THE PLACE WE ALL WANT TO BURN TO THE GROUND. ONCE AGAIN I AM SORRY FOR THE WAIT, BUT I THINK THIS CHAPTER IS WORTH IT. ENJOY.

I DO NOT OWN GODZILLA, NARUTO, A SCENE FROM SCARY MOVIE 4, THE AMERICAN ARMY, ALIENS VS PREDATOR, MONTY PYTHON, JURASSIC PARK, OUT BACK STEAK HOUSE EAT THERE IT'S GOOD, OR CHUCK NORRIS HE OWNS EVERYTHING.

It had been three days since they exited the forest of death. Naruto was currently practicing out in some random field. Three turkeys walked by, then a deer, and finally a German panther tank division, heading towards Stalingrad, Russia.

"Hey G, when are you going to teach me something new?" Naruto inquired.

"When I feel like you ready for it." G answered.

"Oh come on, I'm ready and you know it." He whined.

"No, you're not, well at least for I have in store for you!" G sighed; again, the Sherlock Holmes adorned his head with the pipe in his mouth.

"Where you do keep getting that hat?" He asked.

"In the closet where else?" G replied.

"Why do you wear that thing anyway?" he again inquired.

"It makes me feel distinguished." G stated.

"Okay then, so when are you going to teach me something new?"

"Tomorrow." G sighed.

"Why not today?"

"Because I don't feel like it."

"Fine!" Naruto shouted cutting the link like a piece of cheese.

"Stupid lizard." He muttered.

Some where else

All the jounins were at a small coffee shop. A few American soldiers were standing in line to order some coffee; a Sherman tank was parked outside.

"So, Kakashi, what's your new team like?" Kurenai asked.

"Well, you probably already know Sasuke's and Sakura's bios, but Naruto, I'm still trying to figure him out."

"Don't despair my friend. I'm sure his youth will come out soon enough!" Gai shouted.

"Gai, shut up." Asuma sighed.

"I hope I can figure him out before he does some thing that will mentally scar me for the rest of my life."

"I'm sure you will." Kurenai patted his back.

"I hope so." Kakashi sighed.

With Sasuke and Sakura

Sasuke and Sakura were just sitting on a bench in the park watching some modern American soldiers. When suddenly a van pulled up and man wearing some c4 jumped out shouting, "Death to America!"

His hand clicked the button, nothing happened. He tried again, the same result; he restlessly smacked the trigger down in hopes of it going off, no luck.

"Oh crap," He moaned as the soldiers closed in on him. "Um, I love America?"

"Nice try, jackass," One said before punching him in the stomach; then the rest of them started to beat him up. By the time that they finished, he was bloody pulp, whimpering on the street.

One walked back over to him, took out his pistol, and said, "I forgot to do something."

The shot resounded throughout the park, the hole in the man's head bled freely onto the ground, and then they blew up his van. The soldiers walked away laughing.

"That had to hurt." Sasuke shook his head.

"Yep." Sakura stated, looking at the flaming van.

"Want to go get some pizza?" Sasuke suddenly asked.

"Sure." Sakura replied.

And so they left, but unknown to them a black carapace move from its hiding spot in the tree above.

It continued to follow them in the darkness of the trees. It jumped a few trees ahead of them. It prepared to pounce from its spot, but as it leapt, a blue bolt of energy destroyed the branch.

The xenomorph hissed as it rounded about, to see nothing but air. The xenomorph approached the area warily and was right as another energy blast flew by its head. In the shadow of another tree, an electrical surge appeared in erratic movements. Out of them stepped the hunter of the stars.

The xenomorph hissed in anger at seeing the rival species here. With nothing holding the xenomorph back, it leaped in a blinding rage, trying to sever the predator's head with its claws and tail.

The predator rolled to the side and threw its spear, but the xenomorph jumped over. It landed a few feet away from the predator, but it was close enough as the xenomorph pounced upon the predator, the first jaw opening in preparation for the second to strike. As they wrestled on the ground, the predator took the hand bland and slashed part of the xenomorph's left claw off.

The xenomorph used the broken claw to its advantage and started to throw the famous acidic blood at the surrounding area. A tree split in half, a bush melted, and a guy was hit in the face, but every one ignored his screams of pain. The xenomorph tried to thrust his broken hand into the predator's head, but he evaded.

With most of his weaponry destroyed or expended, the predatory fell back on the only thing to be used in a hopeless situation, the anti-matter bomb. The predator quickly punched in the detonation sequence for the bomb. The xenomorph noticed this and hissed in fury. It raced towards the predator, but it was in vain. The predator suddenly started to laugh, for when the xenomorph reached him, the bomb went off.

A lone soldier walked over to barren war ground, looked around, and said, "I've had worse."

That is when the black knight showed up and said, "That's my line, you English pig dog."

"Get out of my way, moron." The soldier said.

"I move," The knight said, turning to face to him, "for no man."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really."

"So be it then!"

The knight unsheathed his sword, while the soldier just threw a grenade. A quarter of a second later, the black knight was gone and in his place was a small crater.

"Well, that takes care of that." The soldier turned only to see the knight coming at him with sword raised.

"Aha!" The knight yelled bringing down the sword only to have it miss its mark.

"How did you survive? I threw a freaking grenade at you!" The soldier shouted in confusion and anger.

"That small little thing only caused me a scratch on the arm." And that's when the soldier noticed the black knight's missing arm.

"A scratch! Your arm's off!"

"No, it isn't."

"Well, what's that then?"

"'Tis only a flesh wound."

"Alright, I've heard enough of this," The soldier pulled out two more grenades, tied them together, and threw them at the knight, but he also distracted him with a glazed donut from Krispie cream.

"Mm, donut." The knight stated in trance like state, but then the grenades went off.

"Hopefully that took care of him."

But his hopes were dashed as soon the knight's torso landed in front of him.

"I'm not dead, you empty-headed, animal food trough wiper."

"What does it take to kill you!"

"You can't, because I'm invincible."

"Why do I always get the crazy ones?"

"The black knight always triumphs."

"Shut up already!"

"Never!"

"That's it, I'm going find some one else to annoy." The soldier let out an exasperated sigh as he walked away.

"Hey! Come back, you coward! I'll bite your legs off!"

"Go to hell, you freaking moron!"

Back to Naruto and that was sure interesting wasn't it?

"What to do, what to do?" Naruto asked to no one.

"You could flood the hokage's office with lizards for a cheap laugh or two." G suggested.

"Nah, he might cut my allowance." Naruto sighed.

"You could fill the hot springs with snakes." G stated.

"We did that last week."

"Oh yeah, that was fun."

While Naruto was in his thinking pose, a raptor, a T-rex, and two men in a jeep with automatic rifles firing wildly sped by. However, he didn't notice.

"I got it! I shall terrorize Shino in the dead of night."

"That's it? We did that at the first exam moron."

"Really? We'll figure something out later, but for right now let's get something to eat."

"That's the first intelligent thing you said all day."

"Be quiet!"

"Why should I? All you care about is getting powerful just like the lords of other lands!"

"Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!"

"Order eh? Who do you think you are?

"Bloody peasant!"

"You have no power over me mortal! Mwahahahahaha!

After that sentence, Naruto just blinked in surprise at G's actions.

At the ramen place

"Ten bowls of miso ramen, old man!" Naruto shouted making the other customers wince.

"Okay, ten bowls coming up!"

"H-hi N-naruto-kun," A very shy voice stuttered.

"Hmm? Oh, hey, Hinata."

"D-do you m-mind if I s-sit w-with you?"

"Of course I don't."

"T-thank y-you. One miso ramen please."

"Hey whelp, ask her out on a date."

"Why?"

"Oh, why did I have to get a dense container? She likes you, moron.

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

G started to bang his head against the cage. Hard I might add.

"You are such an idiot."

"So I've been told."

"Just ask her out moron."

"Hey Hinata."

"Y-yes N-naruto?"

"Would you like to go out some time?" Naruto inquired, a small blush adorning his cheeks.

Hinata's face, on the other hand, was the same color consistency as tomato, "S-sure"

"Great, how I pick you up around 7?"

"O-okay." She said before passing out on restaurant floor.

"I was afraid that would happen. She's way to shy for her own good."

"Guess I should take her home."

At the Hyuuga Manor

Naruto approached the patio of the Manor in a silent dread. He rung the doorbell and to his horror, Hiashi, her father answered the door.

"You got ten seconds to tell me what happened to my daughter before I hurt you." He stated in cold tone that voiced death while he cracked his knuckles.

"She just fainted after I asked her out, I swear!"

"Oh is that it then, no harm done." Said Hyuga quickly lost the cold atmosphere and returned to normal.

Naruto let out a sigh of relief before it turned to dread again, feeling a killing intent from the Hyuga again.

"Now I have to hurt you for asking my daughter out." He stated through clenched teeth.

The next scene would turn this story to a M rating for lots swearing, blood, gore, and a mention about a concentration camp for one person, so I'm not going to write it.

A bloody and whimpering Naruto crawled away from the Hyuga household.

"Man her father is scary."

"I would have to agree, young whelp."

"Let's go home and rest for now, scale face."

"Shut up and get moving, er crawling."

With a lot of effort on Naruto he slowly began to crawl to his home ignoring the pain all throughout his body.

"I am never going to be within 200 hundred yards of her father again."

"Yes, he sure did a number on you. I also wonder if that trap we set yesterday went off yet?"

With Neji

The calm Hyuga branch member had just finished a nice relaxing shower, when suddenly, out of nowhere, a brick the size of a very fat squirrel shot across the bathroom and hit him straight in his face. This in turn, sent him flying out the window naked as the day he born in front of the Hyuga elders. For that reason, he did not show his face for the rest of the day because of the utter embarrassment.

With Kakashi for some reason or another

"I sense a disturbance in the force." He said, peaking around the corner of the hallway.

A clicking lick snarl went throughout the hallway, on the hallway's side, a shadow moved back and forth from room to room. A pointed snout and tail told Kakashi who his foe was. The, thought to be dead, raptor from chapter eleven was back for revenge.

"Ah crap, I thought I took care of him." However, to Kakashi's dismay, the raptor heard him and quickly broke into a galloping run towards the end of the hallway, snarling wildly and vicious all the way. Kakashi took off from his spot and tried to get to his room, but the raptor leaped onto his back. Kakashi elbowed the raptor in face and it countered with a set of claws driving into his shoulder. Then their struggling brought them to the edge of the stairs; both went down the steps while fighting. Then the raptor tripped upon a magazine that was conveniently placed on the stairs, rolled down, and was thrown through a window when he reached the bottom.

"Hopefully, that got rid of him." Kakashi sighed, but I'm not like that.

Another more forceful snarl went throughout the his front yard, before the raptor broke through another window.

"This is going to take me weeks to fix after I'm done with you." Kakashi's bored expression said nothing and everything at once. I don't know what I just wrote here, but it's good.

The raptor once again leaped for Kakashi's head, but Kakashi ducked, causing the raptor to just slam into a wall behind him, knocking itself out cold. So Kakashi did the sensible thing, he put the raptor in a trash bag and put it outside with the garbage.

"Well that takes care of that." He got a glass of water, sat down in his chair, and quietly began to read.

A small tremor shook the house and the glass slightly. Another one shook the glass violently. Then it fell off the table shattering on the floor.

"Great, more glass I have to clean up."

That's when the jeep plowed right into his living room.

"Oh, come on! I just painted that wall last Tuesday!"

"We're sorry, but we're running for our lives."

Then the T-rex came and broke the rest of the wall and most of the roof. The guys screamed while opening fire. The T-rex brought its head down, grabbed a man, then split him in half with powerful snap. The blood coated the walls, covering the paint.

"That's going to take forever to clean!"

The other guy ran out the front with the T-rex following closely behind. With a scream and a resounding snap, the front yard went quiet.

"Great, just great, now I have to clean the front yard. My goodness, I do hope that this is nothing more than a gen-jutsu made to fool me."

Back with Naruto

"Yeah it went off alright, the brick isn't here."

"I'm surprised that it worked."

"You shouldn't question my genius."

"And, yet I do it anyway."

"You hurt me so."

"And I don't care."

"Shut up."

Naruto finally reached his apartment and plopped down onto his bed with a heavy sigh of contentment.

"Remember you have a date at seven."

"Yeah I remember, should I take for picnic?"

"Hey don't ask me this stuff I've never had a date either."

"But aren't you king of the monsters and hundreds of years old?"

"There isn't a female monster of my species, kid."

"Tough."

"Yep. So hurry up and get ready."

Slowly, Naruto pulled himself up from the bed and headed towards the shower to clean off the dried blood and dirt. Some odd twenty minutes later, he was dressed in his usual attire and was at the Hyuga Mansion gates. He cautiously walked to the front door and slightly knocked. When the door opened is when his fear doubled in two seconds flat.

"Hello Mr. Uzamaki." Hiashi said through gritted teeth. "Please come in, Hinata will be down in a moment."

"Thank you sir." Naruto relaxed, before Hiashi grabbed him by the neck of his shirt.

"Now listen here boy, if you hurt her I will torture you, starve you, and kill you if you try anything. Got it?"

"Y-yes s-sir." Naruto squeaked out.

"Good now that is all settled, would you like something to drink?" Hiashi completely lost the cold atmosphere again.

"How does he do that?"

"It's a father thing."

At that moment, Hinata entered the room in a very beautiful dress.

"H-hi N-naruto, are you ready to go on our d-date?"

"Yes let's leave, right now! Don't worry sir I'll good take care of her!" Naruto yelled trying to get away from Hiashi.

"You better!" He yelled back.

Once they were out of sight Naruto asked, "So, where do you want to go?"

"I would like to try a new restaurant that opened a few days ago."

"Okay then restaurant it is."

At the Outback Steak House restaurant

"Are you ready to order?" The nameless waiter asked.

"Hmm, what to have, what to have? The Kookaburra wings or the five-ounce steak with cheese fries. I am going to have the steak. What'll you have, Hinata?"

"I think I'll have a salad."

"Very good choices. They shall be here shortly."

When their dinners arrived, they ate in silence, finished peacefully, paid the bill and then left.

"What now?" Hinata asked.

"How about a movie? I wonder what they have playing this week?"

And, coincidentally, Godzilla Final Wars, was playing this week. And if you have not seen this, it is a great movie, a little corny in some places, but still good.

"You have your own movie series!"

"I guess so, wait a minute where my money, I've been cheated!"

"G, calm down, you're giving me a headache."

"Like I care, I want you hire a lawyer to sue these people."

"No, we would lose for sure. Now shut up so I can enjoy the movie."

"You cruel jerk!"

Another time skip yay!

Naruto and Hinata were at the front steps of the Hyuga mansion.

"Well Hinata, I had a great time."

"Same here, Naruto."

"Hey you lost your stuttering problem." Naruto pointed out which caused the heiress to blush

"Yeah I guess I have."

"Well I guess that I'll see you tomorrow." He said before giving a kiss her cheek.

When he left, Hinata rang the doorbell and then fainted right on the spot.

Back at Naruto's apartment

"I think I am in love, G"

"Great now I got a sap for a container. I want a switch!"

"Shut up! You're just jealous because I have a love life now."

"Be quiet and go to bed, the prelims start tomorrow."

The next morning, at 10:30 am, a monitor lizard ate a bird. That is all

"How to wake him up? Oh I know, the ramen place is on fire and is going out of business!"

"NOOOO! Huh? Wait…what? Dang you, prehistoric lizard!" He shouted.

"Kid, the prelims are in twenty-five minutes."

"Oh crap!"

Outside the arena place

Naruto made it to the front arena where the bridge is located, just before they started roll call.

'Hmm, there are three more then I thought, hopefully they'll fail the prelude to the prelims.' The Hokage thought.

"Now, before you guys kill each other, this creepy, old, and probably insane man will ask you three question so you can cross the bridge safely. However, if you get a question wrong you will be thrown into the gorge of eternal peril and be tortured for the rest of your days. You first Sasuke." He stated quite calmly.

"Kay." Sasuke said, approaching the bridge.

"Halt! Those who want to cross must answer me these question three, ere the other side you see." The old man from scene 24 said

"ask me the questions, so I can get going already."

"What! Is your name?"

"Uchiha, Sasuke!"

"What! Is your quest?"

"To kill my brother!"

"What! Is your favorite color?

"Black!"

"Right, off you go."

"Oh ,thank you very much."

"That's easy!" A rock geenin shouted.

"Halt! Those who want to cross must answer me these question three, ere the other side you see."

"I'm not afraid."

"What! Is the square root of 6466?

"I don't know that! AHHHHH!" He screamed falling into the gorge

The next guy approached.

Halt! Those who want to cross must answer me these question three, ere the other side you see.

"Ask me the questions, I'm not entirely, but some what afraid."

"What! Is the meaning of the universe?

"Um, 45?"

"Close, but it's 42. Goodbye."

"This is kind of fun, AHHHH!" He screamed, like a girl I might add.

Another guy came up.

Halt! Those who want to cross must answer me these question three, ere the other side you see.

"I'm scared shitless, but ask away."

"What! Is year Godzilla Vs Ghidorah came out?

"Oh! 1986.

"Sorry, wrong answer."

"This isn't fair!" He screamed as well

" Halt! Those who want to cross must answer me these question three, ere the other side you see."

"Ask me already, sheesh."

"What! Is your name?"

"Uzamaki, Naruto!"

"What! Is your quest?"

"To be come Hokage!"

"What! Is the airspeed velocity of an unladed swallow?"

"What do you mean? European or African?"

"I don't know that!" The old man said, before being thrown into the gorge himself.

"How do you know so much about swallows?" Sasuke inquired, as Naruto finished crossing the bridge.

"When you're a ninja you have to know these things."

"Congratulations to all those who made it across, now we shall select, by random, who shall kill each other. In addition, we have a very special referee this year. My good friend Chuck Norris. I'm glad to see you again my friend, err what's that in your hand?" The Hokage pointed to the bloody hand and still beating heart within its grasp.

"Nothing you need to know about." He replied cooly.

"Okay then, begin the selection process."

Each name was displayed on the board at a fast pace, and the names it landed on was Sasuke and some other guy whose name I do not know.

"And begin!"

Sasuke started with a quick dash and a knee to the face, followed by a punch to the back off the head. However, the guy just got back up, grabbed Sauske, and slammed Sasuke's head into the concrete ground.

Sasuke remained silent as he got back up, but he did wipe the gravel off his face. He took out a smoke bomb, charged again, and threw it right into the other's face. He screamed in agony as the powder from the smoke went into his eyes. Sasuke forced his hand into the other's stomach, causing a blood to fall from his mouth. He returned the blow using his left leg to kick Sasuke in the neck, stomach, and head.

This continued for a while, each one exchanging more powerful blows than the last, but then Sasuke took out a kunai and slashed open the man's abdomen. He was bleeding profusely as one of his organs fell onto the floor. Most of the people in the audience vomited from the sickening scene before them, while Chuck smiled.

"Uchiha Sasuke, winner," Chuck said, completely unfazed by the sight, still smiling.

The board lit up again, the passed each in rapid succession, and finally it landed on Naruto and Shino. On the outside, Shino seemed completely calm on the inside his mind was in utter chaos. The insects said go out fighting, but he wanted to give up. However, he decided to fight anyway.

They both made their way down to the arena, the ultimate clash of insect Vs reptile. Only the superior species would leave victories. Man I am being way too serious today. Chuck looked at them both, before he signaled them to begin.

"Fight!" Then the Mortal Kombat theme started through out the arena.

Shino's insects came out of his sleeves and began to form a thick cloud of death. However, Naruto just looked at the growing insect swarm and quickly snapped his fingers. A millisecond a gecko landed on his head followed by another on his shoulder. When Shino looked up, to his horror, he saw that the entire ceiling was covered with a gecko army.

The geckos quickly jumped from their places and into the swarm. When they landed, each of them began to grab as many insects as they could. Some geckos were swallowed up by the swarm and nothing was left except a lonely skeleton. As the battle between the insects and reptiles heated, Naruto and Shino were facing each other. Shino punched Naruto in stomach followed by two punches to the head. He kicked Naruto in the back of the knees and slammed his hands in the middle of the shoulders, forcing him onto the ground.

Naruto got up, grabbed Shino's left leg, and then slammed him against the wall. He then looked at his geckos. The poor geckos were outnumbered and they were slowly falling to the swarm.

"Finish this fight already, whelp."

"Fine, just get off my back."

Naruto slowly started to transform, the spikes ripping through the back of his clothes, his hands turning into claws, and a tail forming from behind. Shino took a step back, a small case of shock going through him. The swarm noticed Naruto flew to intercept him, but they were all burnt away in single blast of pure radiation. The rest of Shino's bug flew back inside him, but then Naruto punched him through a wall.

"Uzamaki Naruto, winner. Good show too." Chuck said with chuckle.

"Okay let's find out the next contestants!"

Again the board lit up and the names displayed were Gaara and another unimportant character.

"Fight!"

The battle was over before it began, literally. Because Gaara was in front of the guy and snapped his neck before he could anything.

"Gaara, winner. Dang that kid is fast."

"You better be careful around him, whelp. Ghidorah has probably annoyed him to an insane state of mind. Even I can't stand to be around him!

"Yeah I get it. Don't get into a conversation with the three headed dragon of death."

"You better not."

AND I AM GOING TO STOP HERE. I DO HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR THE LONG ABSENCE. PLEASE REVIEW, AND NOW I AM ACCEPTING IDEAS. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING CRAZY, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY, GIVE IT TO ME!