Master Chief slowly got back up and shook it off as if it was nothing, but a slight sting from bee. He turned his head over to Naruto and although you couldn't see his face, you knew he was giving him a look that spelled death.

Master Chief then did something unsuspected; he took out a frag grenade. Of course Naruto no had no idea of the destructive force of a grenade, but he was going to find out. Master Chief threw the grenade and it landed right at Naruto's feet. About three seconds later, Naruto was blown a few feet back, but not into the wall. I've used that too much.

As Naruto landed, he was hit with a shower of debris. Naruto turned onto his back, his vision was slowed and he heard nothing, but an annoying ringing sound in his ears. Naruto looked up to see Master Chief right above him. So, he took out a kunai and slammed it into Mc's left foot. Master Chief paused for a second, and then he reached down and tore the kunai from his foot.

"Does nothing hurt you?"

"I can not be harmed or killed by mortals." Naruto was just plain scared at this point.

That's when a portal, to left of the arena, opened with a marine team, from Halo, coming through it.

"Master Chief you are needed back at HQ, we've found another Halo."

"I'm coming," He looked over to Naruto before he jumped through, "We'll finish this later."

"Um, Winner Naruto Uzamaki!"

The crowd was so shocked that they did not even cheer. They stood there like statues. Then the Hokage brought them back to earth.

"Okay then the final fight of the chunin exam is Naruto Uzamaki vs. Gaara of the dessert. The match will start in one hour."

An hour later

"Okay, let's have these two kill each so I can go home and eat the rest of my left over lobster."

As Naruto and Gaara walked towards the ring, thoughts began to race through their heads. Thoughts like how am I going to survive this fight, will I be victorious, and where is the best escape route if I'm near death.

"Okay, have a good fight and make it quick. I want to go home."

Naruto and Gaara got into their fighting stances and stared each other down. That old western showdown theme started to play as a tumbleweed blew by.

"GET ON WITH IT!" A battalion of English knights and other soldiers suddenly yelled.

"Fine, no need to yell."

Gaara was the one that initiated the fight by kicking Naruto in the head. Naruto countered with punch to the Adam's apple or windpipe. As Gaara struggled to breathe, Naruto put him into a nelson headlock and bit off his ear.

"What the hell man?!" Gaara yelled as he held the bleeding hole in his head. It would heal; however, it would take a long time.

Naruto didn't answer, but kicked him square in the jaw.

"Kid let me have some fun. I want to spill the blood of my so called king."Ghidorah said.

So Gaara did the reasonable thing, he grabbed Naruto, punched him through a wall, threw down a smoke bomb, and let Ghidorah take over.

The smoke suddenly was blown away by a pair of golden wings, the dragon of death had returned.

"Man what a cheesy effect." An audience member said.

"I am not a cheesy effect!" He fired a stream of lightning and turned the guy into dust. Everybody stopped talking at that point.

And that is when Naruto came back through the wall in his G form. Ghidorah immediately charged at him, but Naruto punched him in the stomach at the right moment. As Ghidorah fell onto the ground Naruto slammed his tail on one of his necks. However, the other heads bit his tail and head and started to electrocute him. Naruto was then pushed back as Ghidorah regained his footing. (This would be hard, since he has no arms.)

This time Naruto charged, grabbed Ghidorah's center head, and tore it right off.

"What the hell, not again!"

Naruto just ignored his outcry and punched the left head directly in the mouth, breaking some of his teeth. Naruto then tripped Ghidorah again and started to kick his ribs. The kicking continued until Ghidorah was in a state of unconsciousness.

"Winner the guy with a lizard sealed in his stomach. I'm going home now." And the killer of killers left the stadium.

"The promotions will be given tomorrow. So everybody out!" The Hokage yelled.

Where ever I choose, because I'm author

Kakashi was currently walking the forest that was behind his house. The reason, he needed to calm himself before he killed Naruto. As he stopped to stare at the wondrous surroundings, he heard a branch snap behind him. He quickly turned around and saw nothing but the forest. Another snap was heard to his left. He began to hear multiply snaps around him. The bush in front of him began to rustle wildly. He slowly and cautiously approached the bush. He made it to the bush and moved it to the side.

The creature that was making it rustle, was nothing more than a harmless, little squirrel. Kakashi let out a sigh of relief, right before he tackled to the ground by his arch nemesis. The raptor, but he was not alone. This time the raptor had brought the rest of his pack.

"Hmm, ten raptors against me. Not a good situation."

One of the raptors on the left made a dash for him. He punched it, hard, across the face and it staggered into a tree. One on the right jumped into the air, claws raised to carve him to shreds.

He rolled to the side and gave it a kick in head. This continued for awhile with the raptors getting beat up and Kakashi evading their attacks. Kakashi had given them a great, but tiring fight. So finally, they all attacked him at once and knocked him out.

A few hours later, inside a cave

Kakashi awoke on the hard stone floor of the cave.

'Where the heck am I?' He bitterly thought.

When he tried to get up, a massive pain swept through him. He looked down at his legs to see them torn open. So he did the next best thing, he crawled. After while he reached the entrance of the cave and surprisingly there was a tour group.

"And here are the newly formed caves of Kohona. Our scientist have become baffled to the creation of these caves, for there has been no seismic activity in this area."

"Help me! Please help me!" Kakashi practically screamed.

Everyone there turned their attention from the annoying tour guide to Kakashi. They were about to help him when a raptor appeared from behind him. Kakashi screamed like little girl as he was dragged back into the cave.

"Well, lets move on to our famous hot-springs! Right this way everyone."

When everyone left, she took out a walkie-talkie.

"Sir, project Jurassic is loose in the caves."

"Roger that, Scout One. Bravo Team has been dispatched to your position."

"Confirmed, moving civilians out of compromised area."

As the tour group left for the Hot Springs, they noticed the six men armed with G3 automatic rifles.

Franks P. O. V.

"It was my first assignment with Bravo squad, we had been called in to catch some creatures that had escaped from a nearby research center. I guess they thought six guys with guns could handle some animals, I hope they were right."

"Will you just shut up!" B3 yelled.

"Bravo 3, you listening to me?" BL

"Sorry sir, the new guy is talking to himself again." B3

"Frank, what did I tell you about talking to yourself?" BL

"I'm sorry, but it helps to calm me down." I quietly whispered

"Well stop it, Bravo 1 check out the entrance to that cave." BL

Bravo 1 peered inside the cave for a quick second and brought his head back out.

"They're not in there, they might have left through another exit." He shouted back to them.

As he turned to walk away a clawed hand shot out from the cave and grabbed him without the others noticing anything.

"Hey, where's Bravo 1?" BL asked, a small amount of concern in his voice.

"He was just there a second ago." B3 answered.

"I didn't ask where he was a second ago, I asked where he is now." BL shot back.

"I'm sure there is perfectly logical explanation." B2 quickly said.

"You always say that." B3

"Well because, there is always a logical explanation." B2

"What about that time we saw that spiral notebook, floating, in mid air?" B3

"The window was open, it could have blown it off the table." B2

"Yeah, but how did the words "get out Bravo team" suddenly appear on it." B3

"It could have been Alpha team's notebook, they have always been jealous of us." B2

And that is when the screaming started.

"Shouldn't we help him?" I asked slowly, back towards the path.

"Now hold on, we don't know if he's in trouble," Bravo leader put his hand on his head, "Bravo 1 are you in need of assistance? Hmm no answer, let's assume he's okay."

"What do you mean, he's screaming!" I yelled.

"Oh god that hurt, help!" B1

"You see!?"

"One ate my leg!" B1

"One ate your leg? One at his leg!" I yelled.

"I need my leg!" B 1

"He's got to have his leg." I said.

"Bravo 3." BL

"What?" B3

"I need you to go over there, assess the situation, and report back to me." BL

"Well hold on I think its Bravo 2's turn." B3

"What?" B2 exclaimed

"Doesn't make much sense to send in bravo 3 after Bravo 1 went in the cave." B3

"What?" BL

"That's B. S. In fact, I think I just got promoted to Bravo 1 so it's your turn." B2

"Now even you have to see the faults in that argument." B3

"Well some one needs to go in there and assess the situation." BL

"I can assess the situation just fine from here, were outside and alive. Bravo 1 walked inside the cave, and is probably being eaten." B2

"He didn't walk in the cave, he was pulled in by something!" I reasoned

"I'm sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for that." B2

"Stop saying that!" I yelled

"Guys help me, if you don't I'm not going to be alive anymore!" B1 screamed.

Then the screaming abruptly stopped.

"He stopped, I think he might be dead." I whispered.

"Bravo 1 are you in need of assistance?" BL

No answer.

"Yeah, he's dead so let's-" BL

"Why are you calling me on the radio!?" sobbing, "Just come in here and start shooting!"

"Okay its time for action."

"Oh now it's a time for action."

"There was no need for sarcasm frank."

Ten minutes later reasons for time skip too much gore, blood, and swearing.

Every one except Bravo 1 lived after the assault on the cave. Even though that isn't how it happens in the movie.

"Commander this is Bravo Team, we need a medical unit here to police the body. The specimens have been eliminated."

"Roger that, medical unit is en-route."

"Come on, let's go get some beers. I'm paying!" Everyone cheered at that.

An hour later

Kakashi crawled out of the cave. Two bullet wounds on his chest and leg.

'Why did they shoot me?'

He than began the slow crawl home, but as usual it didn't go as planned. A pair of blood red eyes watched Kakashi crawl on the dirt road. It saw him stop for a slight rest, and then it struck. Kakashi grabbed the creature that was on his back and threw it in front of him. And it was…

"A Bunny? Sorry for throwing you Mister Bunny, but you scared me to heck." He reached out his hand to pet the bunny, but he was stopped by a shout.

"Don't touch that rabbit!"

"Why?"

"That's no ordinary rabbit. It has a vast killing streak."

"This rabbit has a killing streak? You're insane, it's a harmless little rabbit."

Kakashi again reached out his to pet said rabbit and when it was in reach, the rabbit bit through his hand. A loud scream of pain sounded throughout Konoha.

Back at Naruto's place, time: nine P. M.

Naruto had just finished restocking his ramen supply and was on his way to bed.

"I wonder what tomorrow will bring?"

"Hopefully something that has to do with destruction of property."

"Ignoring that, at least we'll be promoted to chunins now."

"Whatever, but I still want you to do more damage."

"Would you knock it off! I'm not going to do any more damage then that which is required."

"I miss my old life of destruction and terrifying the Japanese government."

"Let's just get some sleep. And hopefully you won't be as weird tomorrow."

And with that sentence said, Naruto blew out the candle and darkened the house.

With Orochimaru

Orochimaru sat in his wheelchair, looking at the leaf village with his binoculars.

"I'll get that stupid little brat for crushing legs. And where did I get these binoculars?"

"Orochimaru, are you talking to yourself again?" Kabuto suddenly appeared.

"Shut up and roll me to the bathroom, I have some business to take care of." However when rolling him to the bathroom, Kabuto tripped and Orochimaru went down a flight of stairs.

With Sasuke

"Where the hell is my house!?"

I REALLY, REALLY HOPE THAT THIS CHAPTER WAS WORTH THE WAIT AND I'LL TRY TO GET THESE UP QUICKER, BUT IT'S BLOODY HARD TO THINK THIS STUFF UP. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!! IN ADDITION, THE NEXT CHAPTER IS WHERE THIS STORY TAKES A FEW TURNS. YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN VERY SOON. THE QUOTE FROM RED VS BLUE IS THE TURDUCKEN THANKSGIVEN THING. IF ANY WANTS TO SEE PANICS GO TO LOOK AT THE SERIES BAR IT WILL BE RIGHT THERE. WARNING THOSE MOVIES ARE RATED M BECAUSE OF SWEARING ON A HIGH LEVEL.