The Marriage of Hermione and Ernie

It was October. The top year students at Hogwarts had all been married for one month. Some like Malfoy and Ginny were a constant source of stress for the teachers and amusement for their peers. Others, including Harry and Katie were continuing their routines as though nothing had changed from the year before. Then there was Hermione and Ernie.

The two of them had decided to have formal meetings twice a week and informal ones on the remaining five days. The formal meetings involved two chairs with a desk in-front of each. Here Hermione and Ernie discussed the issues that had been covered in the lessons and completed any work set. They also expressed their emotions and any concerns either had about their relationship. These meetings could last up to two hours. The informal meetings were often in the Great hall, the courtyard and on the way to lessons. These were quick and just ensured they saw each other every day and were aware of the others well-being.

Today was Thursday and Ernie was sitting next to Hermione in their marriage lesson. They had Professor McGonagall for a teacher and both had been relieved. She took the new addition to the curriculum seriously, unlike others on the staff and wouldn't accept any substandard work. She was having a hard time enforcing this however. Luna and Seamus were often caught playing gobstones in the back row. They had spent so many lunchtimes catching up on work they had failed to do in the lessons, it was a standing joke if either of them ever appeared in the Great Hall at midday. These two were nothing compared Malfoy and Ginny. McGonagall was at her wits end as every lesson involved an argument of some description. Initially McGonagall had persisted in telling the class that debates ensured a healthy relationship where all opinions were expressed. Then she attempted to calm the situations, willing the pair to listen to each other. Now, she just got angry. Ernie and Hermione were in agreement with her. Both felt that Ginny and Malfoy were not trying at all and this was affecting the outcome of other marriages. Today was no exception.

'Why do you insist on being so insensitive' cried Ginny across the room. Despite enormous encouragement, she flatly refused to sit next to Malfoy.

'I would hardly call, sitting with my mates insensitive' Malfoy shot back.

'Well that's just-.' Ginny was cut short by McGonagall shooting sparks out of the end of her wand.

'Can I please have silence. I have a very important announcement to make and I'm sure it will interest you all.' The room went quiet. 'Now, at the start of term you were told that each couple would be given a second year to look after. There was going to be an official ceremony for this but-' McGonagall's nostrils flared 'the Headmaster has decided that not all couples are ready for the responsibility. So, today only three couples in this class are to be given their child to care for.' The rest have yet to earn the privilege.' At this Malfoy muttered

'Privilege, ha good job I'll never get mine then. A squirmy brat how revolting.' Ernie shot Malfoy and irritated look and haughtily turned back to the front again. How he hoped he and Hermione had impressed the staff enough to have earned their child. They had discussed already what they would do when they got a child to look after. They had several plans ready but it all depended what house their child was in as to which route they would take.

'These lucky partnerships are Chip/Kerry, Granger/McMillan and Malfoy/Weasley.' Ernie felt himself go red. He puffed himself up importantly. He looked around the class. Several people were looking jealous, others looked relieved. Ginny, who was sitting next to Hermione was looking like she wanted to be sick. 'Would these people please come to the front. Ernie and Hermione scrambled out of their seats. Ginny after receiving a poke in the back from Hermione got up, but very unwillingly. Malfoy remained seated. It seemed that McGonagall had decided to become oblivious to this and continued as though there were six people at the front, not five.' As parents it is your responsibility to ensure your child is kept happy and healthy. You are to monitor their progress at school and assist them in their studies. They will be allowed to visit Hogsmeade but only with your permission and presence. All decisions will be made jointly. Now, are you ready to meet your children?' Hermione and Ernie nodded eagerly. The classroom door opened and in walked three second years.

There were two girls and one boy. Two looked nervous, one looked cocky. This was a girl. Hermione recognised her. She was in Gryffindor and was renowned for her lack of co-operation.

'Chip and Kerry you are the lucky parents of little Theresa.' A shy blonde girl stepped out and joined her new parents. Chip held out his hand

'Hey I'm Daniel and this is Laura.' The girl smiled meekly and went to sit with her new parents. McGonagall continued.

'Granger and McMillan you are the lucky parents of little Helen.' Hermione inwardly groaned as Helen strutted towards them. She was tall and thin with long brown hair and a pink fringe. She would be difficult. Hermione had already heard rumours that she had somehow smuggled Muggle cigarettes into the school. And she was only in her second year. They returned to their desks and Helen threw herself into the chair slouching. 'That means Malfoy and Weasley you have Ralph here as your child' concluded Professor McGonagall. The small boy starred up at his new parents and they starred back. Ginny thought he looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights, Malfoy thought he looked like a weed. Ralph was quite frightened. He felt as if every part of him was shaking. Everyone in the entire school knew how these two were reacting to their 'marriage' and he was dreading how they would treat him. Especially Malfoy. Ralph belonged to Hufflepuff- not a house worth bothering about in Malfoy's opinion, or so Ralph had heard.

The end of the lesson came. As soon as the bell rang, Helen jumped out of her chair and legged it out of the room as fast as she could.

'Hey' began Ernie but she had already disappeared into the swarms of crowds that had filled the corridor. He turned to Hermione. 'Do you the impression that Helen might be a tad rebellious and difficult. I think it will be in out best interests to have a chat with her and lay down some ground rules. After all we can't have an insignificant second like that ruining our chances of a good grade.' Hermione nodded her head. But she had a feeling that Helen wasn't going to be brought into line by some ground rules.' She looked over at the other two couples who had also received their children today. Theresa was walking between Daniel and Laura and seemed to be more relaxed than she was an hour ago. Both of them were taking it in turns to explain what routines they had got into already.

'We eat breakfast together everyday' Laura was saying 'and it would be lovely if you would join us then to. Of course if you want to stay with your friends feel free.' Ginny was talking to Ralph but he didn't seem to be any more relaxed that he had been when he first seen who his parents were.

'Just ignore him' explained Ginny. 'Most of the things that come out of his mouth are pure rubbish so just pretend you can't hear him- that's what I do and so far it's not working too bad.' Malfoy himself appeared to have taken the line of avoiding any contact with his child, maybe hoping he might just disappear. Hermione was aware that Ernie was addressing her. He was still talking.

'-unbelievable really when you out it into perspective. I find that-'

'Ernie' cried Hermione 'will you please stop talking for just one minute. The lesson is over and I'm hungry. I want some lunch and I want to forget about Helen until this afternoon.'

'But she's our child' complained Ernie 'you can't pick her up and drop her as you choose; it's our responsibility to look after her this year.' Hermione took a deep breath, forcing herself to remain calm. She put on a sickly sweet voice.

'Of course, your right we have to think about Helen all the time. I'll invite her to our meeting tomorrow night and we can have a nice chat then. Does that suit you?' she wondered if Ernie had caught the sarcasm but it appeared he didn't. On the other hand he did seem satisfied.

'That's wonderful. This is what we have to do, talk through our issues and not get worked up over them.' And with that he picked up his bag and left.

Hermione threw herself into a chair at lunch with such ferocity that Neville looked up. She gave him a look that clearly said 'don't ask' and began piling spaghetti onto a plate. After pausing for a moment Hermione asked

'Where's Ron?' Don't you both have Snape? Oh he hasn't gone and got another detention has he?' Neville grinned.

'No, not today. He had to stay behind with Cho.'

'Why?'

'Well it seems that she was convinced they were going to be given a child and when she discovered that Dumbledore didn't feel they were quite ready she got a bit angry. She's been blaming Ron but at the end of the lesson she dragged him up to Snape's desk demanding to know why they weren't chosen. That was-' Neville looked at his watch 'fifteen minutes ago.' He took a sip of Pumpkin juice. 'That reminds me congratulations. You must be proud. Getting a child in the first batch.'

'Proud isn't quite the word I would use; remarked Hermione, thinking of Helen. 'What about you?'

'Are you joking! Do'ya think me and Pansy will ever be ready to get one.'

'Hey they gave a kid to Ginny and Malfoy.

'You're kidding! They didn't! Well I never.' Neville laughed silently. 'Another excuse for yet more fireworks.'

'How did you know we'd been given a child?' Hermione asked curiously as she helped herself to some apple pie.

'McMillan. He's been telling everyone. Had to shake his hand and everything.' Hermione felt mortified. This morning she had been content with her marriage situation. It had been simple yet running smoothly and effective. Now she had a husband who was quickly annoying her and, pretty soon everyone else and a daughter who she hadn't yet spoken to but knew was trouble. Things could only get better.