Big Brother Zasalamel
Chapter 2-Botox and Bus Stops
(A/N: The odd title will be revealed later in the chapter)
Scene: The main foyer of the Valentine Mansion.
(Link enters the room, followed by the 24 contestants)(A camera man trails closely behind him)
Link: And now we're back to yet another episode of Big Brother Zasalamel! Everyone!
(Link turns around and faces the crowd, not noticing that everyone is shocked by the sheer grandeur of the mansion)(Ivy looks pissed)
(Link draws the Master Sword and feigns a swing)(Everyone immediately looks at him)
Link: That's better. Anyways, all of you can go to your rooms now and get set up. Dinner's at seven o'clock and after that we'll be given a tour of the mansion. I've been here for only a few days, so I wouldn't be a good guide.
(Everybody looks at Ivy)
Ivy: W-Wha! Why me?
Link: Well, this is your mansion, and you should have the job of showing us around!
Ivy: Fine! But don't expect me to help you in the near future after today!
Link: That's settled. And remember, don't be late! Dinner only comes once a day, after all.
(Link walks up a large staircase to the left, leaving the others behind)
Cassandra: Say, Ivy, where exactly are our rooms?
Rock: Good question. I have to get my doll collection unpacked straight away.
Maxi: And my hair's looking a little floppy. I'm in desperate need of hairspray here!
Raphael: Don't we all need hairspray and an unpacked doll collection? I just want to see Ca---
(Sophitia kicks him)
Raphael: Uh...Cars, the movie! I have a pirated copy of it on my portable DVD player.
Cervantes: Well don't any of you lads come to me for stolen goods like that!
Ivy: (puts on a strained face) LINK!
(Link runs back into the foyer wearing a bathrobe, a towel turban, and bunny slippers)
Yun-Seong: Man, you're a fast changer.
Link: You people interrupted my bath time just to tell me that?
Ivy: No, block head. Explain to everybody here---and I mean everybody about where the contestants sleep.
Link: Oh, right. I must've forgotten.
(Ivy rolls her eyes)
Link: Here's what happens. All of the contestants are divided into two teams, and these groups will compete for things such as food, prizes, cash, all that jazz. During each of these competitions, the team that has lost will lose one of their teammates by the end of the week. Here's a scenario: What happens if all of Team A's members are evicted and Team B hasn't lost any players?
(All the contestants are thinking to themselves)(After five minutes, Link gives up on them)
Link: Basically, Team B's players would be divided into two further groups to compete for food, prizes, etc. Understood?
(Everyone looks at Link with an odd expression)
Link: You'll get it eventually. Anyways, I have the list of teams right here:
For Team A:
Zasalamel
Siegfried
Maxi
Raphael
Xianghua
Setsuka
Seong Mi-na
Kilik
Cassandra
Talim
Yun Seong
And Team B:
Sophitia
Nightmare
Taki
Mitsurugi
Ivy
Voldo
Yoshimitsu
Astaroth
Rock
Necrid
Tira
Cervantes
Olcadan
(A/N: A bit of advice. If you really want to keep track of who is on what team, then you should make a list)
Link: Each team has their own separate wing in the mansion, and enemy teammates are only allowed into the other dorms on certain circumstances. Lastly, both dorms have common rooms where you can hang out and stuff. Other than that, you're allowed anywhere in the mansion except the opposing team's area.
Tira: And we all thought you were only going to say where everybody sleeps...
(Link stares at her)
Link: Fine! Team A goes up the staircase to the left and Team B goes up the one to the right. Happy?
(Everyone avoids Link's death glare)
Link: Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bubble bath to finish!
(Link prances off up the left staircase in his bunny slippers)(Everyone immediately heads off towards their rooms with their suitcases)(Team A to the left and Team B in the other direction)
(With nothing else to do, Ivy walks over to Sophitia down the East Dorm hallway)
Ivy: Like the place so far?
Sophitia: (dragging her suitcase on wheels using her left hand) Yes, it's a lovely mansion. Few people have large estates in Greece.
Ivy: So most of the people are broke?
Sophitia: Excuse me?
Ivy: I---I mean broken down?
Sophitia: Ivy, where are you trying to go with this?
Ivy: Nowhere! I'm just...just...whatever. This isn't my day, anyways.
(The two keep walking, while Tira and Rock are discussing other matters)(Rock has somehow managed to carry three large suitcases with him)
Rock: Um, do you collect Barbie dolls?
Tira: I did when I was a kid. But I ended up cutting Barbie's hair because I wanted her to be a boy.
Rock: Okaaay...
Tira: I was bored! Hey, you'd do the same thing to if you were me.
Rock: So, you collect anything else?
Tira: Sharp hula-hoops. And green hair-dye bottles.
Rock: When I'm not collecting Barbie accessories, I mainly focus on animal pelts.
Tira: Say, you're right! Whenever I fight you in battle you have this large lion/tiger thingy on your head!
Rock: Well, yeah. And it's a funny story about how I got Fluffaduffers in the first place...
Scene: Valentine West Common Room...
(A very heated debate is going on between the members of Team A about a Captain to lead their group)
Siegfried: Zasalamel, why don't you be our leader?
Zasalamel: Hell no. Being Big Brother is all I need for now. Maxi, you should lead us!
Maxi: Me? My hair will get ruined in the process! Let's elect a girl!
Xianghua: Hey, why are we involved in this?
Kilik: 'Cause the guys say so, that's why!
(Fists are flying everywhere, the girls are bitch-slapping the guys, Maxi is in the corner of the room hiding his hair, and only Cassandra seems to know what she is doing)
Cassandra: HEY!
(Everybody stares at her and immediately stops fighting)
Cassandra: Fine! If all of you are gonna be immature about this whole thing, then I'll be Captain!
(For a moment there, nobody says anything)(Seconds later, the room is filled with talk)
Seong Mi-na: Wait! Let's think of a team name to rival that of what Team B has!
Setsuka: I'm with her.
Talim: We should have a wind-themed name!
Raphael: Just don't say that we should be the 'Dust Devils' or the 'Cockeyed Bobs!'
(A/N: The above names are actual names of winds---hey, I found this info out on google)
Talim: Okay, then. Cassandra, as leader, what should our team name be?
Scene: Valentine East Common Room
Yoshimitsu: We're Team 'Botox Bunny Busters?' What kind of a sick joke is this?
Ivy: Hey, it wasn't my idea!
Mitsurugi: Yoshi never said it was. But at least our name will be way cooler than Team A's.
Taki: I never liked most of the people on that team. Take Talim, for example. Always talking about the wind...She should just be a weather anchor on TV so we can all make fun of her.
Astaroth: That'll be the day.
Tira: Moving on, who did think of the Botox Bunny Busters, anyway?
(Dead silence)(After several minutes, Sophitia slowly raises her hand)
Ivy: (standing up) Ha! I always knew it would be you! Miss Goody-Goody strikes again!
Sophitia: Well, can you think of a better name, then?
Ivy: Well...no.
(Ivy sits down dismissively)
Nightmare: Since that Sophitia chose our name, she should be our captain!
Ivy: WHAT? But this is my mansion, and here I decide all the rules, which include who leads who around here!
Olcadan: Like that'll ever happen. Sophitia, you lead us.
Sophitia: Me? But...okay.
(A large chime echoes thruought the hall)(Sophitia quickly glances at the clock on the common room wall)
Sophitia: Well, that settles it. Team, move out!
(Everyone obeys Sophitia's order and files out of the common room)
Scene: Valentine West Commons
(The same chime heard by the Botox Bunny Busters is heard by Cassandra's team)
Seong Mi-na: Dinner already? We haven't even thought of a good name yet!
Kilik: We can worry about that later. Let's just go to dinner and act like we know what we're doing.
Cassandra: Okay, let's go, team!
(No one moves)
Yun Seong: Make us!
Siegfried: Yun's right. Why should we obey you?
Cassandra: Because...because...
Setsuka: Can't think of a good reason, can you?
Cassandra: FINE!
(She stands up out of her chair)
Cassandra: If Link asks me where everyone is, then I'll tell him all of you are skiving off dinner!
(Without warning, everyone gets up and runs past Cassandra, trampling her in the process)(She sits up off the ground, getting dust out of her hair)
Cassandra: Why me? This is gonna be a long stay here...
Scene: Grand Dining Room, 6:10 PM
Link: Cassandra! So glad you could join us!
(Cassandra stumbles in, her hair ruffled and dust all over her)(Her team sniggers at her and Sophitia's team looks at her curiously)
Cassandra: Sorry, I had some...issues to deal with.
(Cassandra sits down next to Link, who is sitting at the head of the table)
Link: So, did everyone meet with their teams?
(There are nods among everyone)
Link: Good, good. And did Teams A and B come up with names?
Sophitia: My team did, Link!
Link: Ah, so Sophitia's captain of Team B!
(Cassandra looks miffed)
Link: And your team is...
Sophitia: We're the Botox Bunny Busters! Feel our wrath, Team A! Mwahahaha!
(Dead silence...)(Kilik discreetly takes out his cellphone and saves the number for the nearby asylum, in case Sophitia acts loony in the future)
Sophitia: Eheheh...
(She sits down)
(Cassandra suddenly bursts out laughing)
Cassandra: Seriously, Sophie! What kind of a sick name is that?
Sophitia: Then what is your team name?
(Cassandra's face blanches)
Cassandra: We're...we're uh...We're...the Bumpity Bus Stops!
(After a few seconds, everyone in the room bursts out into laughter, including Link)
Link: Cassandra? That's your team name?
Cassandra: Yeah, so what?
Link: Did any of your teammates know about this?
Cassandra: Well, no.
Xianghua: (poking her salad with her fork) Link, we had nothing to do with this!
Raphael: She has a point, you know. Casssandra thought of the name all by herself.
Link: Right. Anyways, starting tomorrow the Bumpity Bus Stops and the Botox Bunny Busters will face in a head on match! The prize has yet to be decided.
Voldo: Grrrrr...Details...
Link: Good thinking. The match will take place at high noon tomorrow in the kitchen!
Cervantes: Haven't ye forgotten about lunch?
Link: Trust me, you won't be eating any tomorrow! That is, none of you will want to...
(Without question, everyone continues eating)(The rest of dinner is pretty uneventful, except when Cassandra tries to hit Sophitia using mashed potatoes and a spoon)(Instead, a large painting of Ivy gets hit)
Ivy: Cassandra you block head! You'll be paying for that when this is over!
Cassandra: Sorry, but you should blame Sophitia instead for being a sufferable know-it-all!
Sophitia: Say that to my face, bitch!
(Much to the Link and the other guys' pleasure, Sophitia and Cassandra cat fight on the table)
Ivy: STOP!
(Sophitia had Cassandra in a headlock and was ready to pull her hair out)(She stops suddenly, not letting go of Cassandra)
Ivy: That's it! Dinner is officially over! First my painting is ruined and then you two
(Link snaps out of his trance and quickly wipes drool from his mouth)
Link: You heard her! Everyone in the foyer now!
(Without warning, everyone gets up and leaves the dining hall)(Link is the last one there)
Link: I love my job...
Wow...I don't think I've ever written that much in three or so days...Anyways, 10,000 apologies for the long wait, but with me being at camp and everything I couldn't get stuff done. And I had no idea that I'd have further tennis lessons after camp, so getting chapters done was hard. Well, whatever. That's in the past now, and I'll continue to work on other chapters in the future.
-Abzanguinaut342