The Program Part 2
Rodney ducked into the nearest empty room and closed his eyes and took a couple of steadying breaths. Crazy. He was going crazy.
As soon as Sheppard had responded with his bedside manner comment Rodney's head had filled with memories of similarly responses made by Sheppard.
"McKay's okay. He… he fainted."
"It doesn't think on that level, it thinks about eating, that's it."
"Well you would know."
"Maybe we should offer a sense of humour in trade."
"Sure. They can have yours."
"Oh please. My sides, you slay me."
"I'm thinking about it."
"This is why parents get someone else to teach their kids how to drive."
"I am both insulted and touched by that."
He banged his head against the wall in frustration. Definitely crazy. Today was the first time he'd spoken to Sheppard. And seriously, the places the memories took place in… a field with some Amish people, some weird kind of aircraft, a large room with strange looking computer terminals. Not to mention that Sheppard tended to be decked out in some kind of military uniform in all of them.
Completely crazy. And what made him more sure of his descent into insanity, was that even though he knew the memories were completely mad, they still continued to feel normal.
"Soo…" John drawled as McKay took his blood pressure. He glanced up and gave John a brief questioning glance, before continuing what he was doing. "What's so bad about Cadman then?" he asked eventually, remembering the conversation he had overheard between McKay and Teyla.
"I'm very sure that's none of your business," McKay said as he noted things down on John's chart. John shrugged, looking unconcerned. He had to bite down on a grin when McKay answered the question a few seconds later anyway.
"She's just, she's unbelievably- She's-"
"The human incarnation of all that's wrong with the world?" John prompted, Rodney gave him a look. "C'mon Rodney what's so wrong with her?" he asked. McKay's eyes widened in surprise. "What?" John asked in confusion.
"So, we're on first name basis now are we?" he asked warily.
"What are you-" John cut himself off and swore angrily at his crazy and/or telepathic internal voice. At that moment Teyla made a well timed entrance.
"And for that matter who told you my Christian name?" Rodney asked. "Teyla?" he asked her.
"I have not," she shook her head.
"No one else has been in here," Rodney said with narrowed eyes. John tried to shrug nonchalantly.
"It must have been on your doctor's coat thing," he said.
"I never wear it," Rodney responded quickly, doing a twirl to show off the blue scrubs he was wearing.
"Your security pass perhaps?" Teyla suggested.
"Yeah," John nodded enthusiastically. "That's gotta' be it."
"Right," Rodney acquiesced, looking at John contemplatively.
"I just came to let you know, Miss James' results are back," Teyla said, breaking Rodney's stare.
"Right, right," he said briskly, nodding and heading to the door, Teyla following. "I'll be back within the hour, to complete your check-up," he said, waving a hand vaguely at John before exiting. John watched them go and stared at the door for some time afterwards, determinedly not thinking about how he'd known Rodney's name, because Rodney hadn't been wearing his security pass.
Rodney walked determinedly down the hall to Sheppard's room, to question him on the rather creepy subject of how he had known Rodney's name. Because, he knew that his pass had been hidden deep within his scrubs pocket, because the picture had been taken on a day when he hadn't shaved, nor had a hair cut for several years, and he had been fed up with people making jokes about it.
He paused at the door and took a deep breath, ready to shout hysterically, but also obviously intimidatingly, at Sheppard about his apparent creepy mind-reading skills. However, he was thrown off balance by the presence of one intimidating, and not even slightly hysterical, Ronon Dex.
Head held high, despite his hesitancy, he walked into the room directly to Sheppard.
"I've just got to take some blood and I'll be done," he informed Sheppard who nodded and eyed the needle Rodney pulled out warily.
"So Doc., what are his chances?" Ronon asked with mock sincerity.
"Unfortunately, they're looking pretty good at the moment," Rodney answered using the tone he used to break bad news to his patients and their families. Sheppard smirked and didn't look even a little insulted. If Rodney wasn't a professional, he would have jabbed the needle in harder than necessary.
"Ow!" Sheppard exclaimed. Rodney looked at him innocently. Okay, so maybe he need to work on that whole professionalism thing.
"I'll leave you guys to it then," Ronon said and stood up from his chair as Rodney pulled the needle out of Sheppard's arm.
Sheppard tensed up as Ronon made to leave, but all he said was, "See you later Ronon," and "Thanks for coming." And then it was just them in the room.
"How did you know my name?" Rodney blurted out after several seconds of awkward silence. Sheppard looked at him briefly before his eyes darted round the room, looking for escape. "Sheppard," Rodney snapped.
"I have absolutely no idea," he answered eventually, looking almost as creeped out as Rodney felt.
"Oh."
"Yeah," Sheppard shrugged, looking uncomfortable.
"Any other…strange…symptoms?" Rodney asked, settling back into doctor mode.
"Symptoms?" Sheppard asked sceptically
"Yes. Well. If we take a medical approach to this, maybe-"
"You've seen a lot of people develop telepathy after gun-shot wounds then?" he asked dryly.
"No, not personally, but- Look, have you had any other weird symptoms or not?" Rodney snapped in irritation. Sheppard frowned at him. "Off the record," Rodney added with a roll of his eyes and an impatient flick of his wrist.
"Well… just before I passed out in the warehouse, I…"
"Yes?"
"Well, I sorta' hallucinated Ronon in this kind of long trench coat thing, and he had this weird gun with a red light on it and about a hundred-"
"Knives," Rodney finished, eyes widened in shock as the image of Ronon Dex geared up in something our of Hercules flashed in his mind.
"Huh," Sheppard sat back against his pillows. "Does this mean I'm not, you know, crazy?" he asked. Rodney sat down heavily in a nearby chair.
"It could be, erm, a group delusion, or erm…"
"Rodney," Sheppard cut him off.
"Anything else?" Rodney said quickly, before Sheppard started questioning him on his own share of the 'group delusion'.
"When I woke up, and looked at you, I had these flashes of memory…"
"In like weird army gear with guns and stuff?" Rodney asked.
"One with you in an orange suit, hanging upside-down from a tree," Sheppard said with a smirk.
"Now isn't the time to be laughing at my pain and discomfort, especially when you ran off and left me-" Rodney slapped his hands over his mouth.
"I was kinda' busy chasing after Ford," Sheppard answered with dawning comprehension. "Holy crap," he muttered as he watched Rodney have an unusually quiet freak out.
"Colonel, where the hell are we?" he asked eventually, glancing warily round the hospital room.
"Ronon!" Teyla exclaimed.
"What?" he grunted, not lowering his weapon from the head of the Loranian scientist.
"He is the only one who can get Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay out of there!" she said earnestly, indicating the machine's the two in question were hooked up to. Black wires inserted into their bodies, the machines even breathing for them.
"They cannot be removed," Duyell told them dully.
"Why not?" Teyla asked.
"Eventually, yes. However, when I placed them in the machine I used a programme that lasts for a certain amount of time, no more or less," he informed them.
"How long?" Ronon growled.
"A year."
"That's not acceptable," Ronon said angrily.
"I'm afraid it is not open to negotiation. There is nothing I can do about it," he said sounding completely unconcerned.
"Really?" Ronon asked with a twist of his mouth which didn't contain enough humour to be a smile, and pressed the butt of the gun harder against Duyell's temple.
"Well, if they realise their reality is simulated there are a number of backdoors in the programme," Duyell explained. "But the programme is very advanced and it is unlikely they will be able to see through the simulation."
"I wouldn't underestimate them," Teyla told him.
Thanks to MuseUrania, Splitbeak, Sea-Turtles, Hettie, EmmyH. reen212000, quezovercoatl and Delka for reviewing the first chapter! I really appreciate it!
Hope everyone enjoyed this one! Review and let me know!