Disclaimer: I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.

Defining Normalcy

Chapter 3: To Feel a Strong Desire

By Adam Lakewood

Add one more to the already uncountable number of times Sousuke had looked at his wristwatch. The seats of the plane were made especially of comfortable make, but to Sousuke they felt like sitting on stone slabs. He shifted his weight once more. He might be alright if only it weren't so blasted hot in here. The sweat was stinging his eyes. He looked over at Jin who was pulling her jacket closer around her. Maybe it wasn't that cold on the plane. Maybe it was just him. Was this what they called anxiety?

Jin looked over at Sousuke as he glanced at his watch and adjusted himself in his seat again for perhaps the hundredth time in the past hour. She smirked. She had never seen him like this before.

"Anxious, Sousuke?" she questioned with a smile.

She couldn't help but laugh when he looked at her as if deeply contemplating her question.

"I was just wondering the same thing! Give me a second; I'll find out."

Sousuke reached under his seat and took into his lap his carry aboard handbag. He shuffled through the contents and finally pulled out the well-worn Merriam-Webster Dictionary. He took another contemplative look on his face as he thumbed through the pages.

Jin looked at him curiously as he flipped through the pages of the small book that seemed to be of great importance to him.

"Sousuke... what are you doing?"

"... anvil... anxiety... I'm looking up the definition for... here we go... anxious."

He paused as he critically read over the many definitions for the word anxious. He closed the book as he looked back over at Jin.

"Yes... I am anxious." he stated as if he had just figured out the meaning of life... or the key to Pandora's Box.

Jin figured she would ignore that critical analysis of a simple question. She almost sighed but decided she would instead change the subject.

"I still can't believe that Lieutenant Commander Mardukas was in on the whole thing with you."

The book was back in the bag and the bag under the seat in a blink of an eye. She would probably never get used to that.

"To tell the truth, I can't either. He said that if he helped me get out of Mithril he would be repaying his dept to Kalinin."

"So, exactly what kind of dept did he owe to Kalinin that would make him actually go against structure and help you of all people? I mean, I didn't mean that as an insult, but it seemed to me that he hated your guts with a deep, unbending, ever-burning passion."

"He said that he acted that way towards me because I was throwing away my life. I truly don't understand how that would have been any of his business, but that's not the point. As for his debt, I think it had to do with Kalinin's role in getting Captain Testarossa assigned as captain of the Tuatha De Danaan. But, I can't be sure; I don't know anyof the details."

"I see. So, from the sounds of it, Kalinin really liked you. Why did he like you so much?"

"I don't know. I guess it's because of our similar past that we shared."

"Oh. Yeah, you've mentioned that to me before. I think I've seen Kalinin once on the Tuatha De Danaan before he resigned, but I didn't get the chance to talk to him. What kind of person is he? I'm just curious."

"The greatest kind."

Jin raised an eyebrow at his reply. It wasn't like Sousuke to leave a reply so broad.

"You know, the greatest kind of person is a pretty broad and honorable category. Besides, that's just a personal belief, right?"

"I am aware."

"What if I said that you were the greatest kind of person?" she said as she poked him in the shoulder.

"Then, I would call you a liar."

She would let that one go too. She had to remind herself that this was Sousuke speaking; he didn't mean that as an insult. She took in a deep breathe before she continued with trying to make her point.

"But, even if that's not true, what if it were my personal belief?"

"Then I would have to ask you to refrain from judging people, for you aren't very good at it."

There was not enough of a supply of willpower to keep the smile from breaking across his face after he said those words and saw the look on her face. The malicity coming from her eyes alone would have promised a bad harvest for years to come. Jin quickly turned around and nudged him playfully in the rib.

"Alright... keep pushing, mist..."

"Oh, I plan to! All the way to Tokyo." he announced.

"Well, I would like to have an enjoyable trip there, so I don't really need you to be a pest during the whole trip just because you're apprehensive. Surely, we can think of a better way to pass the time." she said as she looked back over at him.

Sousuke was once again thumbing through his dictionary. Jin let out an agitated sigh.

"Jeez, Sousuke! Apprehensive means to be dreadfully anxious about something."

"'Viewing the future with anxiety' is the exact definition. I had a good idea as to what it meant; I just had to make sure."

She would let that one go too. Time to change the subject again.

"Why don't you tell me a little bit about Kaname?"

"We are going to be meeting her after all. I would like to know a little bit about her before I meet her." she said with excitement in her voice when she saw his eyes light up again.

She once again made the mistake of blinking. She once again missed his putting away the book and bag.

"Well, let's see. I'm not exactly sure where to start. I guess I could start by saying that she's..."

"Screwed! That's what I am! Screwed!" exclaimed Kaname Chidori as she slammed her head down on the desk.

Kyoko smiled and let out a nervous laugh as all eyes in the classroom turned on her and Kaname due to that last outburst.

"Oh, Kaname! Don't say things like that. We both know that's not true! Besides it's only an English test; you probably didn't need to study for it anyway; you're already fluent in the language."

Kaname sighed as she looked back up at her notes. Sure, she could speak English rather well, but these were words that English speakers probably didn't even know. She scanned over the huge list of advanced words, few of which she actually knew. Her eyes finally settled on one at random.

"Longueur? Do you have any idea what 'longueur' means, if that is even how you say it?"

Kyoko blinked before she looked down at her own notes. She looked over at Kaname's and compared them to her own.

"That makes no sense, Kaname. Your notes look a lot more advanced than mine or anyone else's."

"That's what happens when I underestimate something and go on to believe I can handle an advanced honors course without any problem!"

"Ohhhh. Well, I feel sorry for you, Kaname, I really do. I wish I could help."

"Yeah, I do too."

"It's too bad that Sousuke no longer goes to this school. I bet he could be a big help. I mean, how many languages did he know? Seven?"

Kaname smiled as memories of Sousuke played themselves through her mind. Sousuke had been gone for almost two years now. But, she and everyone else remembered him like he had just been there yesterday. How could anyone forget?!

"Ha! Seven? Try maybe twenty-seven! The man was a linguist. Or maybe a walking, talking, dictionary of multiple languages."

That jerk.

Out of the blue, he had come into her life. It was his duty to protect her at all costs, so he was probably around her a lot more often than she actually saw him around. She didn't know that at the time, so she saw him as some sort of creepy stalker. He caused more trouble than all of the trouble makers of the school combined. She didn't really like him much during that time. He did make her laugh a lot, though.

Later, after they were both put into multiple dangerous situations and survived, she finally found out who he was, or at least what his purpose was. He got her out of that situation alive and unharmed. She was thankful for him then. That was the first time she had seen him smile.

After that, he just acted like none of it had ever happened; just like he was trained and instructed to. He remained to act as he always had, no differently. She started to really like him then. He smiled a lot during that time.

Then, she started feeling stronger feelings for him. She hoped that he felt the same way she did. She would constantly get her hopes up that he felt the same way when he would say something, do something, or even buy her a set of jewelry... for practicality. Each time she would get her hopes up just to have them shot down. That was also when Tessa first came into the picture. She hated him then. But, he would still smile.

That hate lasted, say, a few hours. No matter how much she sometimes wished she could hate him, she never could. There was just something about him that made her feel... different. He did make her laugh, after all. She remembered once that she even made him laugh.

He was pulled away on a mission to Halmagistein. He seemed to fret going. He never worried about a mission, but he even let a few things slip as to bad feelings he had before the mission. During that time, she was worried about him.

He came back safe and sound. It was late when he finally got back one night. She had been setting in the hallway waiting for him. They sat there for hours without saying a word. He was exhausted and it was obvious something was bothering him greatly. But, he never talked about it; he refused to talk about it. He never smiled much after that.

Then, she helped save everyone aboard the Tuatha De Danaan. That made her feel good. Sousuke saw her in a different light after that, also. He had actually opened up to her a bit and somewhat admitted his feelings to her. He took her fishing. He was then allowed to stay in Tokyo for another couple of months. She loved him then.

Finally, he was pulled out of Tokyo. Just as abruptly as he had shown up in her life, he was gone from it just the same. They had grown so close, and he was suddenly uprooted like a weed from a rose garden. He left without a word. Like a specter, he just vanished from existence. No one knew anything about it. His school record mysteriously disappeared, as did every other record that had been made for him. It was like he never existed. She resented him then.

She would like to say that she still resents him, but that would be a lie. If she resented him, then how come she still thought of him everyday? Why did she still check up on him? Why hadn't he made contact with her for going on to two years?

That jerk.

Kaname sighed as she searched for the word in her dictionary. She paused to take in exactly how many definitions there were for the word 'long.'

She counted precisely eleven. Who knew that a single word could have so many meanings? One caught her attention in particular.

Long vb. To feel a strong desire or wish

So, maybe that was the correct word for it.

She longed to see Sousuke. She liked the sound of that. Now she understood why Shakespeare enjoyed using that word so much. It was a nice word. She felt as if she could write one of those mushy, heart-felt sonnets herself.

That would have to come later.

Right now, she needed to do some last minute cramming for the test if she hoped to do decently on it. Later, she would worry about Sousuke.

It had been a while since she checked up on him anyway. It had probably been a few weeks. No wonder she was thinking about him more lately. Yes, she would find out right after school. She would see if there was a way to establish communication with him yet. Probably not, but she could still find out.

If anyone knew it would be Kalinin. He always knew. She would pester him a while this evening.

TO BE CONTINUED

Author's Notes: Once again, I want to thank all of those who have reviewed my story. I'm glad there are actually some people who like it. By the way, I have yet to see the second season of Full Metal Panic, so I have not constructed it into my story. I just figured I would point that out since I have probably left out things that happened in the second season.