Staring out of the window I felt my heartbeat rising, blood rushing to my cheeks. I could hear my pulse, pounding heavily in my ears. Outside, on the dock, what looked like a sea of people were gathered. There must have been hundreds of them, thousands even. Photographers and journalists and TV cameras all straining to get the one-in-a-million shot of the mysterious survivors of flight 815. Behind me, people who I had come to know well were milling around the large dining room. I could practically taste the excitement in the air. I felt a hand rest protectively on my hip, and leaned backwards against Noah, not taking my eyes off of what I could see through the window.
"They're like vultures." He said, wrapping his arms tightly around me and holding me close against him. I tried to answer him, but no words came out. He kissed my neck, understanding. "You ready to go?" he asked me, and I felt my hand take his, letting him lead me through the crowd towards Jack and Kate. We had been told earlier that morning that our families would be waiting in a nearby hotel, and we were going to be bussed there from the dock. The press, we had been told, were not allowed to speak to us, they were just there to get their pictures. For now.
Kate reached out and took my other hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Jack laid one of his hands briefly on my shoulder, looking me in the eye. I tried to smile a little bit, but Noah and Jack, try as they might, couldn't understand what was going through my head or Kate's. She understood, perfectly, what I was feeling– they both had family waiting for them. We didn't. I squeezed back gratefully. Captain Walker, stood on the other side of the room, cleared his throat. Standing near to him were a Detective, and some representatives from Oceanic. Everyone hushed and listened to what he had to tell us.
"Getting back to normal." That's what we were told to use our compensation money for. Oceanic gave out a total payment of almost $100 million, shared between everyone who had survived the crash. Most people used the money to get away - from the press, from the constant attention. From the fact that for us, real life had ceased to exist and now suddenly we were thrown back into it, and expected to perform like animals in some sadistic kind of circus. Some people invested their money, in the stock market – not caring what shares they bought so long as the money was gone. It felt like blood money, being paid for surviving what other people hadn't.
As for getting back to normal, that had to be the most ridiculous thing anyone ever said. Normal comes in different ways. Being able to get up in the morning and your first thought not being, why aren't I in a tent? Ironing clothes and not thinking, why am I doing this? Being able to sleep in a bed for a whole night, rather than having to haul pillows and quilts onto the floor because you aren't used to being comfortable.
Normal does exist, don't get me wrong. But normal as we all knew it before the crash; that was gone. We all had to make our own version of normal, it was easier for some than for others, and for me, it took a long time coming. But when it happened, it happened in an instant, when the stick turned blue.
Ellie Roberts sat staring out of the window, something she did whenever she couldn't sleep. At the moment, that was quite often and she spent more hours than she cared to count sitting in the padded window-seat, her back leaning against the cool wall and clutching an overstuffed yet squidgy cushion to herself. Sometimes, she tried to count the stars, and after the first thirty or so she would find her eyelids getting heavier and would sneak back into bed, trying not to wake her husband. Sometimes, she didn't want to count the stars, but look at them. Just, look at them. It was comforting to think back to when she'd lain on her back, unable to let sleep claim her, staring up at the stars above her. Despite it being almost five years to the day since the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 had been rescued, sometimes she still felt like that overwhelmed seventeen year old girl struggling to breathe in what felt like a world with no oxygen. Staring at the stars, the same stars she had stared at during those long nights was a comfort more than any words could express.
A light buzzing sound broke through her silence and her eyes darted to her dresser, where her cell-phone was charging. The bright white light that shone from the screen made her eyes water in contrast to the darkness of the room, and slowly she eased herself off the windowseat and tiptoed as quietly as she could to pick up the phone. Flipping it open, she didn't even have to whisper a greeting as she heard the familiar voice.
"Go back to bed." Sawyers voice scolded down the line, his voice a whisper. Ellie stole a glance at Noah, lying sleeping peacefully on his side, his arm stretched over the place where Ellie usually lay beside him.
"I can't sleep." She whispered back, walking quietly out of the bedroom and down the hallway, her hand running along the wall so she knew where she was going. At the end of the corridor she paused before reaching a hand out and turning the door handle.
"I didn't say go to sleep, I said go to bed. You need rest." Sawyer's voice returned.
"You aren't in bed." Ellie retorted, as much as anyone who is whispering is able to retort. She sat down cautiously into a white painted rocking chair, drawing a small yellow and green patterned quilt over her stomach and legs.
"First of all, time difference Driftwood, it's barely three pm over here." Ellie felt a small smile creep over her lips, as she heard Sawyer use her old nickname. "Second, I'm not the one who's eight months pregnant." Sawyer replied. Ellie looked at the room as she sighed. She loved this room, had loved it ever since the first time she and Noah had viewed it, just three months before their wedding. She loved the way it looked over the back yard and beyond, allowing whoever occupied it a constant view of the park behind the house, and if you looked very carefully you could see Jack and Kate's house five minutes away. She loved the wooden floorboards, now covered with thick, fluffy rugs. She had known even then that this room would shelter her and Noah's children.
A small cry issued from one of the cribs in the corner, and Ellie rose as quickly as she could manage, clutching the corner of the quilt in one hand and her cell phone in the other. She approached her daughter quietly, so she didn't disturb her. Seeing her mommy's face appear made the thirteen month old girl immediately stop crying, and she smiled contentedly.
"Sawyer," Ellie said into the phone, "I'll call you tomorrow?"
"Go to bed." Sawyer replied, and Ellie heard him put the phone down. Ellie flipped her cell phone shut and slipped it into the pocket of her dressing gown. She leaned over the side of the crib and reached a hand in to stroke her baby daughter's cheek.
"Hi honey." She murmured. The little girl cooed, taking a hold of Ellie's four fingers in her own hand. She held tight as Ellie whispered a soothing lullaby. Her grip loosened as she fell back to sleep. Ellie covered her with her blankets and tiptoed out of the nursery towards her and Noah's bedroom. He was awake, having noticed the absence of Ellie beside him.
"You ok?" he asked as she rounded the bottom of the bed and slid in beside him. He lay back down and wrapped his arms protectively around Ellie's stomach, feeling their unborn son moving gently underneath his touch. Two children within two years had been a shock to both of them, especially since Ellie was still only 23. But, it was meant to be. Their daughter Siobhan, named after Ellie's mother, was adorable; she had a festival of curls and sparkling green eyes, just like Ellie. Jack and Kate's daughter, Holly, who had been born 8 months after the rescue, was a constant source of knowledge and entertainment. Their son Samuel, only three weeks older than Siobhan, was the best playmate she could have asked for. Ellie and Noah knew that their son, who they had already named Jack, would be just as loved as their daughter was.
"I'm fine," Ellie answered, snuggling into his warmth. "Just checking on our girl."
"I love you." Noah murmured, raising his body slightly to kiss her cheek.
"I love you too."
The End
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed the story: xalicemx, CharmGirl15, nori12, A.L.Ross, BloodCoveredRoses, Stardate4.8.15.16.23.42, Kate Bridges, AimesLuvsTheMetallicar, LeynOnMe and ElleSexy.
I loved getting all your reviews and having all of your feedback. I'm sad that the story's finished but really glad people enjoyed it.
Please review the last chapter!! Sarah x
