Disclaimer: I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.
Author's Notes: Sorry all for such a long delay. But the good news is that I've finally got inspiration to write this story. It's been a long time in the coming, but since this is the first time I've ever had true inspiration for a story, and I'm feeling rather ecstatic. I've always enjoyed writing with just a simple idea and a semi-creative mind, but actually having inspiration strike makes it more enjoyable than ever.
I want to thank MJP, my betareader and a very knowledgeable individual, for his help with this chapter. If anyone reading this wants to read a (what I consider) very enjoyable story, check out his FMP fanfic, "The Hollow Men." Another honorable mention is Anysia. Almost everything she writes is worth reading. Also, I suppose it goes without saying that dave-d has several good stories out there, as most of you probably already know. I highly encourage all of you to take a look at the works of these great writers. These are all writers in the fandom who I believe are deserving of at least a little note.
Just be careful about offering any sort of criticism to dave-d. Though I'm quite sure he greatly appreciates help and criticism, some of his foamy mouthed fans will harass you to no end and attempt to link you to conspiracies against him. Yes, I'm not ashamed to say this is aimed directly against said harassers who I will not hesitate to release the names of if said harassment continues. I hate to be mentioning this problem here and apologize if I'm sounding whiny, but frankly I'm getting sick of it.
Enough of that. As always I want to thank everyone who reads my stories, and I especially want to thank those who take time to give me their two cents. I always appreciate constructive criticism, even more than a pat on the back. I'm always trying to improve my writing, so I appreciate it when my readers let me know what I'm doing right or wrong. Thank you, and I hope this is as enjoyable for all of you to read as it was for me to write.
Defining Normalcy
Chapter 17: Reversal of Fortune
By Adam Lakewood
The rain.
Sometimes… just sometimes, he couldn't help but feel that the rain had been there for him more than anyone or anything else. He would have looked on it with superstition and hatred for being there every time something bad happened in his life. But… there was a slight problem with that.
The rain was there during the best moments of his life as well.
The rain was there when his parents died. The rain was there when Andrey Kalinin first came into his life. As a matter of fact, it was there when he had his first run-in with Gauron… when he was taken in by Mithril, when he was first assigned to Tokyo where he first met Kaname, when he was taken away from Kaname, when he met Jin, all during his stay in China, when he was reunited with Kaname…
… even when he found out he was a father… and now, for a second time.
He and the rain had always been close, it seemed. Without a doubt, the rain had always been there for him when no one else was. Sousuke closed his eyes and turned his head toward the sky, feeling a strange relief as the rain poured down his face. In the steady, soothing hiss of the rain; he could still hear the joyous laughter of the little boy he called his son; the rain made sure of it.
Sousuke looked down over the balcony when his attention was grabbed by the laughter of children below. There were two raincoat clad young boys, one obviously quite a bit younger than the other, attempting to play a game of kickball with a football. Though the rain was obviously hindering their game, it did not hinder their fun.
Watching the children play happily in the rain as they chased after the awkward shaped kickball brought a slight smile to his face as he took in what the current circumstances he had just been informed of implied to the present and future as well as the past. It brought back an all too familiar yet still uneasy feeling as well, but in a strange way, it helped settle it somewhat at the same time. The fact presented to him was disturbing, even unacceptable.
… The rain had been there on the day he had lost his son.
The cantaloupe tumbled and rolled through the mud as the rain glistened off its smooth surface. It quickly rolled to a stop in the thick mud before it and mud alike was uprooted by a Mithril issue combat boot he had been privileged to keep.
"You're not planning on letting me score another point, are you?" Sousuke called out in surprisingly fluent Sudanese to the smaller child running through the mud behind him.
The little boy panted and ran as hard as he could to catch up to Sousuke's intentionally slowed pace. He was tired and covered from head to toe with mud, but he still had that characteristic smile on his face. He was having a world of fun, and that smile said it much louder than any words could have.
Five months. If he recalled exactly, he had been in that accursed hellhole for five months. It was hard to keep up with time in that forsaken place. He had made sure to scale and trek the entire area time and time again so that he could be at the best strategic advantage just in case the time ever came when he needed to exert that advantage. The land that he and the other thirty-seven captives that belonged to the Old Republic were confined to was nothing more than a three acre piece of land without much vegetation and very little grass or trees.
The entire parameter was bordered by a tall fence made of mud-coated bamboo and held together by old, crusty rope that looked as if it would snap under the lightest pressure. From his position of being a specialist, with all it implied, he knew that the fence that was made to keep them in was something he would never recommend anyone using to ensure that their captives remained as captives. However, they made it apparent to everyone that escape was futile. There was no way they would ever be able to escape from the island. If they did not die before they were found, they would be found and then killed… slowly. So, in all actuality, the rigid, makeshift prison probably served its purpose, even if that purpose was nothing more than being a constant reminder that they were all indeed property of the Old Republic of China. They were right; escape was futile… without outside help.
But… little did they know.
After five months of captivity, he was used to almost everything. The heat was never a problem. He had gotten used to the immense amount of mosquitoes, rats, and other vermin and insects that he and the other captives were forced to share their plot-patch home with. He had gotten used to all of the different dialects and languages being spoken around him; as a matter of fact, he had learned the most of them that he did not already know. It was a horrible thing, but he had almost gotten used to living his current lifestyle. He recalled Afghanistan… and couldn't really tell that much of a difference. After five long months, he was adapting… as he always did.
But, even after five months… he still hadn't gotten used to that smile. It was that smile that reminded him that he, the little boy, nor anyone else being held captive by the Old Republic deserved to be there.
Sousuke stopped in his path as he let Jahah take their improvised ball from him. The little boy laughed in joy of his small victory and ran off with it. Sousuke couldn't help but smile as he watched the little boy. Really, there wasn't anything to smile about, but the fact that he could do something so simple to bring utter happiness to someone there made him feel… good about himself, and he hadn't had that feeling in a long time. He had almost forgotten how good it could make one feel to make another feel good. Obviously, Sousuke wasn't the only one thinking in such a way.
Sousuke looked over to see Jahah's father leaned up against one of the sheds watching him and his son. Years of captivity combined with the stress, worry, and anguish of having to watch his family go through the same thing he did made the man look much too old for someone who had not even reached middle-age. But, for the first time during his entire captivity, he saw the man giving off a weak smile.
Sousuke walked over to where the other man was. He leaned up against the wall next to him and slid down into a sitting position on one of the wooden buckets lined up next to the weather-worn gardening tools. Sousuke wiped the mixture of rain water and sweat from his brow and opened his mouth to speak first since he knew that if there was to ever be a conversation between him and the older man, he would have to be the first to start it; that's how it always was with the old man. So, Sousuke was taken by surprise when it was actually the age-streaked man who sparked up conversation first.
"I wish I was able to do that," he mumbled out in his gruff voice.
"Do what?" Sousuke questioned, not sure on what else to say.
The light-haired man pointed out at the field that Sousuke had just come from where his son was still kicking around the dirty piece of fruit.
"That." He motioned toward his son. "Play with my son," he continued.
Sousuke watched Jahah kick the cantaloupe for a moment, contemplating. He gently nodded his head in understanding and rested his chin against his propped arm.
"He's a smart kid. He knows that you know he doesn't care about that. He understands perfectly what happened to you, so I don't really see why you continue to beat yourself up about it." Sousuke stopped for a moment when he realized the unintentional harsh tone of voice he was using before continuing without paying any extra mind to his conscience. "It's really quite ridiculous when you think about it."
"You're right," the older man acknowledged.
"Your family appreciates what you are able to do for them. Rightfully so, they see you as a terrific person, and that's what really matters in the end," Sousuke commented with a nod.
"Is that right?" he questioned in response.
Sousuke turned him an awkward, almost mocking look and raised a questioning eyebrow.
"I'd hope so. Those are your own words."
That brought a surprised grunt from the other. He tried to pass it off as humor, but Sousuke wasn't fooled. He decided to further enforce his point.
"I mean, if your own family is not happy with what you can do for them, then you would really be better off without them anyway. At least that's how I see it," Sousuke said before going silent in order to let his point sink in for a moment.
The man's response was almost immediate, seemingly rushed out of frustration.
"You're too young to understand. You don't know what you're talking about," was his simple reply.
"I'm quite sure I do," Sousuke said matter-of-factly, obviously taking offense to the generalized reference to his young age. He took a stern look to his face before continuing, spitefully attempting to sound wiser the only way he knew how.
Sousuke paused to motion around him. "You do everything that you can for your family, and to think that they would expect more from you is an idea conjured up without any foundation. The moment you let your decisions, emotions, ideas, and other variables be dictated without carefully considering the basis of such is the moment in which you will fall to yourself." Sousuke sighed. "The enemy won't even have to lift a finger."
The man smiled lightly in response and accidentally choked out what had started off sounding like a laugh before he covered it up by clearing his throat. Sousuke noticed. Things like that didn't work against someone who used the same tactic constantly. The mild smile managed to anger Sousuke in the way that only the older man was able to. He sometimes wondered if he intentionally tried to get under his skin. If fact was known, he probably did. He turned his glance at the man and nearly sneered in agitation.
"I can assume by your horrible attempt to stifle a humored laugh that you must suddenly find something to be laughable."
"Yes. I still say you're too young, but don't worry, you are good enough at defending yourself without having to… what was it you call it? 'Otaku' your words?"
Sousuke quickly snapped his gaze out toward the field momentarily and saw nothing. But, he could have sworn he saw something out there, but it was probably just his imagination again. For some reason, it had been bothering him for the past few days, and even the simplest things could catch and keep his attention. Now was a perfect example of that. The mention of that word brought back many memories of the one it originated from. Several images of Kaname as he remembered her immediately came to mind. He rubbed his eyes in an attempt to rub away the images.
"Without having to 'go otaku,'" he corrected before becoming further frustrated by the man being able to read into his actions. "And I can 'go otaku' all I want. I've completely mastered your language, so I can do with it as I see fit."
To both his and Sousuke's surprise, he did laugh that time. "Try to have a little bit of dignity, Illian," he suggested to Sousuke with another slim smile.
Sousuke turned his gaze away from him quickly and scratched his head. "I do have dignity. At least more than you'll ever have, old man," Sousuke retorted, completely without dignity.
The older man laughed again as his only response. Sousuke turned another surprised look at him when he realized that the laugh was completely forced. He knew immediately that something wasn't right when he instinctively looked to the outside of the fence to see three Chinese guards approaching.
Sousuke and the man turned around when they heard the creaking of the opening gate. One of the Chinese soldiers walked through, not bothering to close the gate behind him and began walking toward them. The older of the two men sighed.
"That's not good," he said in too casual of a manner.
"Who else have you angered today?" Sousuke questioned, completely serious despite the sound of his words.
An uncomfortable silence passed before the man spoke again, this time in a quiet voice since the guard was getting closer.
"I was told by one of the guards earlier this morning that he would accompany me today on my… walk," he said, hesitating on the end.
Time slowed down, if not completely stopped for Sousuke when he heard those words. His eyes widened instantly upon realization of what those words implied. It had happened too many times, especially with the older captives. He had seen it too many times. People always disappeared when they were taken for a 'walk' outside the gate. No one was ever given an explanation. No one ever needed an explanation.
"I'm not only useless to my family, but I suppose the soldiers think I'm useless too since I can no longer do much physical labor," he said, trying his best to force out a chuckle.
"No." Sousuke didn't hear a word he had said. Only one thing was going through his mind at that moment.
He stood up and looked around him. He immediately gripped tightly to the mattock leaned up against the shed. He took note of its horribly poor condition but also took note that with enough force behind it, it could easily penetrate a skull. Even if such wasn't true, he would find out for sure in a moment.
He turned around quickly when he felt the other man's shaking hand grip as tightly as it could to his arm. He met the older man eye to eye and was turned away from the stone-cold glare in his eyes.
"You will do nothing," the man practically hissed at him when Sousuke looked away and shook his grip away from the mattock. "Do you understand me? Nothing."
The large pick fell to the ground and toppled over, landing in the mud with a cushioned splat. Sousuke looked back up at him and pulled away from his grip.
"I will not stand around and let that boy's father die!" he whispered in a low hiss while thrusting his hand out and pointing a trembling finger at Jahah who continued to kick around the cantaloupe like Sousuke had shown him, completely unaware of what was going on.
"Yes, you will!" the older man hissed back as he gave him a surprisingly forceful shove against the shed. The shed rattled and shook from the hard force of Sousuke's impact. "Because if my son has a chance of ever getting out of here, you will be the one to do it. You've been more of a father to him in the past few months than I ever have," he continued as he held tightly to the front of Sousuke's shirt, almost lifting him off of the ground.
Sousuke couldn't retaliate in any way against the older man's words or actions. He was right, and the horrible part was that Sousuke couldn't make an argument with him, or not logically at least. He merely nodded and looked down at the ground, not knowing what else he could do.
The Sudanese man let go of Sousuke and looked over at the quickly approaching Chinese soldier. He had so much he wanted to say, but he had waited too long. So, he at least needed to get out what was most important. He turned his gaze back to Sousuke and spoke in a lower, hastened voice.
"Promise me!" he hissed sharply.
Sousuke looked up at him with a hint of confusion in his eyes. However, he was pretty sure he had a good idea as to what he was being requested to do.
"Promise me right now, Illian; you will take my son with you when you escape!"
Sousuke was silent as he spared a contemplative look at the ground. The man looked nervously at the guard who was quickly getting closer by the second. He looked back at Sousuke, expecting some sort of response or at least a form of acknowledgement, but he didn't receive anything. Sousuke merely looked at the ground as the guard stopped in front of them. He motioned toward the gate with his gun and looked at the old man.
"Let's go," Sousuke heard the soldier say in Chinese.
"Promise me that you will be that boy's dad! He needs you!" he yelled, no longer bothering to keep quiet.
The guard looked puzzled. Not by what the man was saying, but because he was saying it to the boy that did not understand any of their languages. Torture had proved that to be a fact. At least that's what their commander, the one in charge of the interrogation, had told them.
"Illian!" the Sudanese man shouted at him before he was forcefully led away by the guard.
Sousuke looked up when he was sure the guard was no longer looking his way. His look was surprisingly calm for what was going on beneath the surface. He watched the retreating figure of the older man as thousands of ideas, thoughts, and feelings made their way through his mind… most of which were without foundation. He found himself eating his words, especially when the man turned around to look at him one final time.
He shivered as he watched the back of the Sudanese man walk away as the rain and mist began to obscure him in the distance. With the mist construing his figure, he almost swore that he saw Andrey Kalinin turn around and look at him. Stopping to think about it, the older man reminded him in so many ways of his lieutenant it actually scared him for a moment, making him feel as if he was caught up in a moment of tragic irony.
He actually jumped in surprise when he saw Jahah standing next to him out of the corner of his eye. The young boy looked up at his idol with a questioning look. Sousuke knew what was on his mind, however. He could tell by his eyes. He hesitantly rested a hand on the boy's shoulder and gave a light squeeze as the both of them watched the guards escort the boy's father away through the gate.
"They're just going for a walk." Sousuke swallowed hard, finding it hard to answer the little boy's unasked question. He was silent, quickly considering all of his words before trying to speak again. "Your dad will be…" He let the end trail off, not having the heart to tell the boy a lie while at the same time not being able to tell him the truth.
Jahah merely looked up at Sousuke. Somehow, Sousuke knew, the young boy completely understood what was going on. However, the question playing across the boy's face went through many more. It was apparent that he was trying his best to hold back tears as the questions raced through his mind. Again, Sousuke could tell, and he could likewise read what the questions were. One of them was a painfully expressed 'Why won't you do something?' He had been around enough— seen it plenty of times… on plenty of faces— to know that expression well.
Jahah clutched at the dog tags around his neck like they were holy relics and squinted his eyes together as if he was in silent prayer. Sousuke had no idea what to do or say, so he reached out for him. As soon as Jahah felt Sousuke's hand touch his shoulder, he ran. Not to anywhere in particular… he just ran.
Sousuke only stared for a moment at Jahah as he ran away from him. He gritted his teeth together to the point where they felt as if they might shatter. He then slammed his hand against the side of the shed with all of his might and swore. He didn't even wait long enough for the pain to register in his bleeding hand before he clutched tightly to the handle of the mattock he was gripping earlier and pulled it out of the mud. Logical reasoning could be damned for all he cared; he was not going to stand around and do nothing.
Never again would he do nothing.
He looked over to where the three guards and Jahah's father were walking on the outside of the fence, making their way to the proper execution spot. Sousuke would make sure they never got there.
He pivoted around harshly on his heel, slinging up mud in the process as his boot dug deeper into the soft ground. He used the better starting traction to his advantage and sprinted off as fast as he could, tearing through the now heavy rain and carrying the mattock with him. The three guards and the old man turned around at about the same time to see Sousuke running at them with a mattock that looked like it was flowing through the wind by his side. One of the guards aimed his assault rifle in instinct before lowering it and simply staring at the young man oddly when he realized that there was a large fence between them and the crazed young man on the other side.
Thinking that a rickety, bamboo fence would hinder him was a mistake, as two of them learned the hard way. From the looks of what the soldiers saw, it almost looked as if the young man ran into the fence at full force and then took off into the air, leaving only an unstable, shaking, bamboo fence for them to look at before it occurred to them to look up.
When Sousuke closed in on the fence, adrenaline pumping through him at a seemingly otherworldly rate, a simple sprint, grab, jump, twist, and a handspring was all it took for the young man to be up and over the nine-foot high fence and descending down upon the three stunned soldiers. When they finally got around to looking up, he was already swinging the mattock at the first guard before his feet even touched the ground.
The improvised weapon served its purpose well as Sousuke drove it into the base of the soldier's skull, straight to the brainstem just as he had intended. Glancing over to see that the other two soldiers were now responding and were raising their assault rifles, he twisted around low quickly and gave the mattock a forceful jerk as the dead soldier's body was filled with bullets that were originally intended for him. The head of the mattock came out with a nasty crunch as Sousuke immediately swung it wildly at his next target, not daring to risk the time to properly aim.
"Illian! No!" the Sudanese man yelled out desperately as Sousuke's current chosen weapon pierced directly and all the way through the second soldier's forearm.
The soldier dropped his weapon and let out an agonizing scream as he stumbled back with the farming tool stuck in his arm, learning the hard way that one shouldn't try to block rusty, dull metal with flesh.
Sousuke looked around at the other soldier who had already aimed his assault rifle at his face. He instinctively held out his hand and twisted his body around slightly just as the Chinese soldier squeezed the trigger. He too should have known that flesh couldn't stop metal, especially a bullet.
The first bullet of the point-blank three round burst went straight through the middle of his hand and caught him in the side. The second went into his thigh as he fell back, and the third pierced all the way through the flesh and muscle just above his collarbone.
Sousuke let out a pained, short-lived yell as he fell to the ground. He heard the clack and rattle of the Old Republic soldier's assault rifle being shouldered just right beside him. He jerked to the side when he felt the burn and heard the sizzle of the recently fired, scorching hot weapon against the side of his head.
"Stop!" the soldier with the mattock stuck in his arm commanded in his native language to the other soldier just before he pulled the trigger again. "We can't kill him; Huang still believes he can get him to talk!"
With that, the soldier hesitated for a moment before quickly hitting Sousuke with the reverse side of the gun and spitting on him. That obviously did not serve to be enough, so many more strikes and kicks were delivered to the young man before the soldier finally backed away, completely exhausted.
"Move!" he heard the uninjured Chinese soldier call out to the older Sudanese man, wanting to hurry up and get it over with so he could better secure the prisoner.
Sousuke's swelled eyes widened as much as they could once the adrenaline stopped pumping and it fully occurred to him once again what was happening, what had happened, and what had been said before. He tried to move, but found himself unable to from the pain. He likewise found it incredibly hard to breathe, but he was certain he would be able to talk without being stricken with anything worse than unbearable pain.
"I swear!" he screamed, causing both of the soldiers and Jahah's father to turn around in surprise.
Consequences be damned; he needed to let Jahah's father take at least a little comfort with him to his death. It was his dying wish, and he had never denied a dying man his final wish before. He took in a couple of hard, labored, and painful breaths before speaking again.
"I swear it!" he yelled again and spat some of the rain water and blood out of his mouth. "I accepted it… long ago! I'll do everything in my power!" he said then paused a moment, taking in more painful breaths. "I swear to it, Cajarahahi!" he blurted out, head still not clear to exactly what he was saying.
The two Chinese soldiers looked at each other for a long moment and back at the crippled young man heaving in the rain. It was an obvious surprise to them that they had finally heard him speak, but even more surprise came in his words. They turned around to face the tall, now imposing looking Sudanese man with no name. Things had changed; they now stared into the face of the Cajarahahi. The wise man easily stared the two soldiers down and turned his gaze at Sousuke.
"Thank you, Illian," he simply said as he turned his back to the soldiers and began walking towards the woods. "Come," he commanded in a harsh voice as his strides seemed to get longer and greater.
The younger of the two soldiers painfully removed the mattock from his arm and stared at the bloodied, nearly flat edge of its head. It didn't look as if it could even pierce into the soft mud lying all around. It definitely didn't look like it could pierce a human skull and wound another. Not to mention the boy lying on the ground, still alive after three point blank gunshots and a severe beating, did not look as if he had the strength to swing it with enough force. It still befuddled him as to how the boy got over the fence so quickly. It was almost like he flew to the rescue of the old man. With that thought, his eyes widened and he looked fearfully at his arm and over to his dead friend on the ground with a huge hole in his head. He looked up at the sky to see how dark it had grown and how much harder it was raining. The rain washed away the blood coming from the Cajarahahi's young bodyguard, making it look as if he wasn't even bleeding. He immediately looked at the retreating Cajarahahi walking alone in the distance and realized that his uninjured teammate was waiting for him to come along. The younger soldier immediately removed his weapon's strap from around his shoulder and threw it in the mud along with his combat knife. His superior gave him a questioning look as he watched his young subordinate throw up his hands in resignation.
"I'm sorry. But, I will not… will not… assist in killing a witchdoctor! I care too much for my family's life… my life! You can do it yourself!"
His superior looked around at the chaos caused by a single boy and nodded his head, completely understanding. He then turned a stern, almost frightened look to the younger man.
"That's fine. I have no problem with doing it myself." He glanced over at Sousuke who was somehow, despite his wounds, able to bring himself into a sitting position. "Find the Cajarahahi's son; burn him!" he hissed out in a low whisper.
Sousuke's head cleared a little bit and he heard what was said.
"No, you can't!" he exclaimed in English before shaking his head and realizing who he was talking to again. "He has nothing to do with any of this!" he said in perfect Chinese.
The younger soldier turned a disturbed look back at his superior who was staring at the young man on the ground with an astounded look on his face.
"He knows all tongues!" the younger of the two soldiers hissed in a low whisper to the other in hopes of not being heard by the young man on the ground behind them. His superior didn't look to be anymore calm than he did.
"Line him up too. Burn him after you burn the boy. We can't risk the Cajarahahi shaman's curse falling on us all. Huang will understand. We can't risk everyone's life here." The older soldier pointed toward Sousuke who was remarkably in a kneeling position and was almost standing. "He has already killed; next time, he may kill us all!"
The younger soldier nodded his head frantically. "Understood."
He turned around and almost gasped in surprise when he saw Sousuke standing and slowly walking his way toward him despite his wounds.
"No! Please, you can't! I won't let you!" Sousuke said as he reached an arm out for him.
The young Chinese soldier actually yelled in surprise. The last thing Sousuke remembered before the burning of his son right before his eyes was a rapidly approaching rifle-butt before the same eyes. They had been right; after they murdered his son, he did kill them all. He had made it a special point.
"Sousuke!" Kaname's shout brought him out of his trance.
He looked around for a moment to reorient himself, and everything came back to him. He shook his head slightly as rain dripped off of his long, soaked hair. He looked out into the rain to see that it was pitch black outside. He turned around with a forced, slight smile on his face.
"Yes, Kaname?"
Kaname too, he noticed, was completely soaked from head to toe like he was. She had obviously been standing there for a while, and she didn't look at all pleased about it either. He expected her to snap at him or something to show her obvious displeasure, but there was a hurt look to her that he had never seen before.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Sousuke!"
He could have sworn that her voice sounded more hurt than angered, and he immediately felt something in his stomach go cold when he heard that tone.
"It's nothing," he simply responded as he looked back over the balcony, trying to gather his thoughts.
"Damn it, Sousuke! I know something's wrong! Tell me!" she demanded.
"It's not a problem. I'm just thinking. You should go back inside before you catch-"
"Don't give me that, Sousuke! It is a problem, you jerk! You've just found out that you're going to be a father, and you haven't said a single word for or against the idea! I want you to talk to me!"
Sousuke let out a sigh as he looked back out to the rain and up to the dark thunderheads above. The cold rain felt good against his face; it helped clear his mind. He closed his eyes momentarily and he once again saw clearly the flaming hand of the Sudanese boy holding tightly to his dog tags. He could once again hear the crackling and sizzling of the fire, and he could smell the horrible stench. Sousuke's eyes flew open suddenly and looked back up at the sky. He felt himself unintentionally take in a deep breath.
"Say something, Sousuke!" Kaname demanded.
"Promise me!" the hiss of the old Sudanese man's voice sounded off clearly in his head. He could see the images playing out before him as well.
Sousuke gritted his teeth together and slammed his hand against the concrete railing of the balcony.
"Damn it! What do you want me to say?" Sousuke said to Kaname and the Sudanese man: whoever would listen. "Tell me, and if it makes you happy, I'll say whatever you want! Perhaps that is what you want to hear?"
It seemed as if his sudden outburst surprised him more than it did Kaname. Kaname said nothing and he stood there wondering exactly why he had snapped like that. Kaname pointed her finger at him and opened her mouth to retort, but she gave up on it, figuring that arguing her point with him at that moment would be without gain. The fire that was in her eyes suddenly went away. She lowered her hand, brought the finger she was pointing at him up to her mouth, and began chewing on her fingernail. Sousuke, knowing that he had been the cause of her hurt expression, took a step forward and reached his hand out for her. She just shivered slightly from the cold rain and air before turning away from him, out of his reach.
"I… don't know, Sousuke. I just want you to say something," she said, all displeasure gone from her voice. "I want you to say something; I don't know what, just something so I'll know what you're thinking. I don't feel exactly grand about it, but you make me feel like me being pregnant is one of the worst possible things in the world. You make me feel as if I've done something wrong!"
Sousuke shivered again, but not from the cold. Out of all the things that had ran through his mind during the past hour, the thought of how Kaname must have felt was not one of them. He felt then like he could sling himself over the balcony for being as selfish and self-centered as he had been.
"No, Kaname. No."
He tried to put on his warmest smile as he walked over to Kaname. He put one arm around her and slid open the door with the other. He led Kaname inside and slid the door shut. Kaname shivered again and wrapped her arms around Sousuke tightly. Sousuke did the same, leaned against the wall, and slid to the floor with Kaname in his arms. He put both of his arms around her and pulled her to him tightly. She leaned her head against his chest, and Sousuke sighed and relaxed his head against the wall behind him.
Obviously, he relaxed a little too much and his head hit a bit harder than expected. A hollow thud resonated from the wall when it and his head made contact. Sousuke and Kaname both shared a moment of uncomfortable silence before Sousuke spoke up first.
"Ouch," he said, breaking the silence with a single, unexpected syllable.
To his surprise, Kaname actually let out a bit of a chuckle in response to his sudden, perhaps unintentional, humor
"I know your thick head is fine. Is the wall alright?" she questioned with another laugh.
Sousuke laughed in response to Kaname's mild joke.
"I don't think so, Kaname. It's not saying anything," he said, able to sound deceivingly tragic with his statement.
Sousuke and Kaname both laughed for a moment before going back into silence.
"Kaname?" Sousuke finally spoke up after a few minutes.
"Hm?" she replied, obviously half asleep.
"I'm sorry… and I'm thrilled to have the chance to be a father again. Thank you," he said, having difficulty getting the words out for some reason.
Kaname opened her eyes again in surprise. Out of all the words in his statement, the word 'again' rang louder in her mind than any of them. For a moment, she had forgotten about Sousuke's other son. No wonder had had been so quiet on the balcony. She couldn't believe she had forgotten. She smiled lightly when the entirety of his response clicked with her.
"That's good, Sousuke. You don't need to thank me; I couldn't have made one by myself, you know?" she said as she playfully punched him in the leg.
"Yeah, I know. That's actually why it makes me so happy."
Kaname's brow furrowed in confusion. She knew what he was referring to, but she had no idea what he meant by it.
"What do you mean?"
Sousuke let out a sigh and rested his chin on top of Kaname's head before continuing.
"I've saved a lot of people before. But, I've also taken a lot of lives before."
Kaname sighed in response.
"Not this again. We've been through this before; remember? You've done nothing wrong. The good outweighs the bad in-"
"I know that, but… never mind. It's not something you'd be able to understand."
Kaname, surprisingly, did not take offense to his words. Instead, she nudged his chest with her head.
"Yeah? Try me."
"Alright, I'll try. It's just that… I've killed so many people. I've… watched…" He had difficulty getting out that word. "…at least the same amount die. But, now…"
Kaname squeezed her arms around him even tighter and squinted her eyes together as a brighter smile came to her face. She knew what he was going to say before he even had the chance to say it.
"I've taken many lives before and let many lives be taken… now, I'm giving one back. I've actually given a life… and I can't begin to explain how that makes me feel."
He bent his head down and kissed Kaname on top of the head and rubbed his hand gently over her back. Kaname took her arms out from around him and braced herself on the ground. She arched up slightly and kissed Sousuke on the cheek.
"I'm glad you're happy, Sousuke. It's kind of late though, so let's finish talking about it in the morning and get some sleep. I guess we'll have all day since this freak rainstorm has made sure we can't go skiing," she ended with a bit of agitation in her voice.
"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. We've got too much to talk about to be able to cover in one night anyway."
Kaname laughed lightly.
"Don't tell me I'll have to give a twelve hour class on how the-" she started before she was interrupted by Sousuke as he got up off the floor.
"No, Kaname. That will not be necessary. I'm certain that I am knowledgeable enough in the areas of sexual reproduction and the stages of physical and psychological growth in a human being to be able to pass as satisfactory in that area," Sousuke explained.
Kaname scratched her head.
"So, what exactly were you planning on talking about, Sousuke?" she questioned, curiosity getting the better of her.
"I don't know; a lot of things. One, for example, is the unity of legal marriage."
Kaname almost choked. She stuttered out a few 'but's before being able to form complete sentences.
"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that a little bit sudden? We haven't even mentioned anything about marriage yet!" Kaname half-heartedly protested.
"But, it is essential that we get married, Kaname," Sousuke said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Who or what exactly says that we have to get married all of the sudden?"
Sousuke closed his eyes and held up his finger in what Kaname dubbed as his 'explanatory' pose.
"I remember that a very wise man… Mr. Kalinin… once told me that when two people love each other with all of their hearts, they swear a sacred oath of unity and are thus married. Now that I can understand entirely what he was talking about, that seems to be the case here, right?"
Kaname was stunned by how serious Sousuke was. It was in a very odd and round-about way, but he was actually proposing to her. She didn't even know if Sousuke knew exactly what he was doing.
"Uh… yeah, i… it seems so. But-"
"And, it seems as if it would be wrong if we had a child that called us 'father' and 'mother' and those same parents were not capable of calling each other 'wife' and 'husband.' Am I wrong?"
"T… that kind of… makes a little bit of… sense… but-"
"Then, it's settled," Sousuke said as he stretched and rubbed his knee.
"Nothing is 'settled!'" Kaname stated as she gave him a shove. "It can't be decided that quickly! We-"
"You don't want to get married?" Sousuke questioned, sounding a bit too innocent in his question. He was getting real good at that.
"Well… I never said that I didn't want to get married, but-"
"Then, it's settled."
"Nothing is settled!" Kaname exclaimed again almost before he could even finish his quick, expected declaration.
Sousuke found the repetition to be humorous. He let out a humored laugh as he helped Kaname up from the floor.
"You're not even going about doing a proposal the right way," she said, not being able to bring herself to sound entirely serious with Sousuke laughing and smiling the way he was.
Sousuke's completely joyous expression suddenly changed to one so tragic she couldn't help but laugh even more. The instant change in facial expression was right there, and she caught the humorous, abrupt transition in the flesh.
"I'm not?" he inquired, not stopping to ask or care about what she was laughing for.
"No," she said ending her laughing. "You're usually supposed to think about it a lot before you propose to a girl," Kaname explained.
"I have," he simply replied.
"No, I mean for like… weeks!" she said, sounding slightly agitated.
"I have," he replied once more with added emphasis.
Kaname was taken aback by his reply and felt herself blush slightly.
"Oh," was all she could manage at the moment. "Well, you also don't have a ring or anything," Kaname said, trying to buy herself some time to think.
"Oh, yeah," Sousuke said as if a light bulb suddenly clicked in his head. "I don't have a ring."
Kaname let out a mild sigh of momentary relief.
"I'll have Jin help me pick out one tomorrow."
Kaname nearly choked again.
"W… wait a minute! You can't be serious!"
"It is not a problem."
"Yes, it is a problem, you idiot!"
"Why is that, Kaname? I'm quite sure I can easily guesstimate the correct ring size, and since you and Jin have very similar tastes in just about everything… it will not be a problem," Sousuke explained.
"But… I haven't even given you an answer yet!"
Sousuke looked at her for a moment, completely puzzled.
"Of course you haven't. You're not supposed to give an answer until after I show you the ring." Sousuke paused for a moment and lightly shook his head before continuing. "I figured you would at least know that much, Kaname," he said, sounding as if he was rather disappointed in her.
Kaname smiled again, as she began getting ready for bed, knowing that he was just trying to pick on her now.
"Yes, Sousuke, I knew that already."
"Then, why did you make such an exorbitant statement?"
"Well, obviously because I was…" She stopped for a moment to think about his question. "Wait, what kind of statement?" she questioned his odd use of wording, not to mention attempting to change the subject.
"An exorbitant statement. It's an adjective that means, 'Exceeding what is usual or proper,'" he quoted with an existent, but mild hint of pride in his voice.
Kaname looked at him strangely for a moment. She still wasn't used to that little quirk of his.
"Uh-huh," she said, staring at him oddly and nodding her head. "Right. So says… Webster?" she inquired, quite amused.
"Yes, and Merriam," he said as he stretched out on the bed with a groan.
Kaname gave up on trying to understand her boyfriend, let out a sigh, and laid down on the bed. She had to stop to think about that for a moment. What exactly was Sousuke to her? She knew that the proper word was boyfriend, but the word seemed so childish and immature. She and Sousuke had been through too much together and had too strong of feelings for each other to merely be classified as boyfriend and girlfriend like other people their age who hadn't been through half of what they had been through together. Soulmates sounded like a good word, but unfortunately, they were nothing alike. It seemed as if what they said was true about opposites attracting and all.
Kaname laughed lightly to herself. She really didn't need to worry about it. From the way things were going, Sousuke was probably going to be her fiancé tomorrow. Then, if nothing went horribly wrong, he was going to be her husband. The idea seemed so strange to her, but at the same time it seemed so right, especially with what Sousuke had pointed out with their baby being on the way. She knew how it probably seemed with her trying to change Sousuke's mind and all, but she knew well enough to know that was probably just nothing more than her 'auto-defenses.' When she thought about it, she realized that no matter how hard of a time she gave Sousuke, if he really was to pop the question to her tomorrow, there was no way she could say no to him.
Kaname laughed out loud that time when something strange occurred to her. Sousuke turned his head toward her to meet her gaze.
"Care to let me in on what you find to be funny, Kaname?"
She couldn't help it, the strange, casual- formality in his voice made her laugh even more when it merged with her previous thought.
"No," she answered with a smile. "I just find it kind of strange that I know ahead of time that you're going to be proposing to me. You know, it's supposed to be a surprise when the guy suddenly pops the question. It's not supposed to be a formal discussion the night before," she said with another laugh.
Sousuke likewise let out a humored laugh when a sudden thought came to mind a few seconds later. He turned back around to face her and quirked an eyebrow in question.
"What if I was to wear army fatigues when I asked you? Would that bring back some of the element of surprise?"
Kaname laughed at his odd sense of humor before responding.
"No, that's alright, really. Besides, that wouldn't really surprise me any, knowing you."
"Then, I suppose the surprise could lie in having Mr. Kalinin ask you for me and present the ring?"
That thought thoroughly disturbed her beyond words.
"Absolutely not!" she said as she slammed him with her pillow, again causing him to have a good laugh as they both got the mental image.
Kaname could tell it was going to be a long night.
Snow drifted and ice crunched under the tires of the small car as Shin pulled up outside of the motel Jin, Kaname, Kalinin, and Devin were staying at. He rolled down the window of the car and was immediately chilled by the cold breeze that drifted into his warm vehicle. He looked up at the two windows of his friends' motel rooms in time to see the last of the two go off. He noted that it was Kaname and Devin's room. He pressed a button on his watch in order to light up the screen and read the time. He noted that it was somewhat odd that it was after two in the morning and they were just now going to sleep, but he gave the thought no further attention.
After setting his watch and checking it twice more, he reached into a bag that was setting in the floorboard of his car. He pulled out a bottle of prescription pills, took out two, put them in his mouth and washed them down with a drink of water. He then turned off the engine and headlights of the car, leaned back as far as his seat would go back, and tried to get as comfortable as possible in the seats of the small car. He let out a sigh and pulled his coat closer around him before drifting off to sleep.
For some reason, he felt as if it was going to be a long night.
The black van sped down the icy road even faster as it passed up another car which was obviously not going fast enough for the driver's liking. The headlights shone and glistened off of the ice on the road and beamed brightly on a green road-sign with white letters that read 'Aspen 14', thus indicating the number of miles to their destination.
"Hey, everyone wake up. We're almost there," the bald-headed driver of the van called out to the other people in the van.
Everyone was supposed to have been asleep, but apprehension for their mission ensured restlessness to everyone in the van. It didn't help that their driver's seemingly reckless driving, despite the skills everyone knew he possessed, made for a nerve-wracking ride.
"Alright," the leader of the small group said, rising from the seat at the very back of the van. "You can slow down and take it easy a bit; we're ahead of schedule and wouldn't want to have to drive around until our give time."
There were a lot of snaps and clicks as cases were opened, weapons were assembled, and clips were snapped into place. Within minutes, several weapons were ready for use, and much more equipment was put into place and ready to go. Everyone then began stripping off their dark clothing and slipping into civilian clothing. It wasn't going to appear any more inconspicuous with civilians walking around with guns, but their uniforms from the previous mission just hours before weren't at all needed. As proud as they were of it, the last thing they needed to do was walk around brandishing their insignia.
After changing clothes in the cramped space, everyone relaxed back in their seats with weapons and equipment in hand and enjoyed the last few peaceful minutes of their ride before arriving at their designation.
"Well," chimed the leader after a few minutes when they crossed over into the city of Aspen. "I hope everyone rested up well enough. Don't forget what we were told before about the importance of this mission," he said as he looked up at the female of the group. "Michele!"
"Sir!" she said, giving her leader her immediate attention.
"Who are the targets?"
"Kaname Chidori and Jin Lain," she immediately replied.
"Good. I'm just making sure no one gets our missions mixed up. It's quite easy to do since we're currently mixed together in four different missions, but we must come out of this flawlessly."
With that, the driver sighed lightly and shook his head as the target motel came into sight. It looked almost as if the city was abandoned since there was not a single light in sight except for those of streetlamps. He slowed the van and turned off the headlights as he pulled into an alleyway between two buildings.
"It's going to be a long night."
TO BE CONTINUED