One week later…

Both Mark and Olivia got startled by the crying that woke them up.

"I got it" Mark mumbled as he pulled himself out the bed and went to get Lilly. He still didn't tell Olivia about what happened and was terrified of the consequences that were in store for him. He hated himself for it since he knew his father used to cheat on his mother and he was trying so hard not to become his father.

Olivia just watched him rock Lilly gently to calm her down. The twins ran into their room and jumped on the bed. Olivia picked them up and lay them next to her "Why are you guys up so early?"

"She woke us up." Mike answered as he climbed on the bed and started to jump on it.

Matt did the same and both watched Lilly "Why doesn't she talk?"

"Babies cant talk" Mark answered as he gave Lilly a kiss on the head and put her in her crib.

"Why does she cry so much?" Mike questioned.

"Because her brothers annoy her," Olivia teased as she grabbed Mike and pulled him on the bed and started to tickle him.

Matt jumped on her and started to tickle her. Olivia started laughing hysterically. Mark smiled and pulled Matt down on the bed.

"Go make mommy and daddy breakfast" Olivia gave them each a kiss and put them down on the floor.

The twins nodded and ran out of the room.

"I hope they don't burn the house down," Olivia teased with a smile as she sat up in bed. Mark smiled and nodded "What's wrong with you?"

Mark looked over at her "Oh nothing why?"

"You have been acting weird lately. Sure everything's ok?"

"Yea of course, its just that my parents anniversary of their death is coming close so I'm feeling weird" He answered with a shrug as he went to the closet and pulled out a t-shirt. Part of his depression was that and part was telling Olivia the truth.

Olivia got up and wrapped her arms around his waist from the back "Want to talk about it?"

"No, I'm going to go to their grave today ok?"

"Want me to go with you?"

"No, I need to do this alone ok?"

"Actually I'm going to go also cause I should visit my mom's grave cause I haven't been there in a while ok?"

"Yea of course" Mark nodded and pulled out his jeans.

Olivia heard the twins making noise in the kitchen "I'm going to go check on them"

Mark nodded and put his jeans on. Olivia gave him a kiss and went out of the room.

Mark let out a deep breath and went by Lilly's crib and just watched her sleep.

Casey and Brad both jumped up to the crying. Brad fell out of the bed since he was a messy sleeper and was on the edge of the bed.

"Get him" Casey mumbled as she turned to the other side and then noticed Brad was on the floor.

"You get him," Brad groaned as he rubbed his arm where he fell on it.

"I gave birth to him"

Brad rolled his eyes and got up from the ground and went to Ben's crib "C'mon Ben" He picked him up "Damn he stinks"

"Change his diaper" Casey mumbled.

"You think?" Brad rolled his eyes and put him down on the table.

"Smartass" Casey groaned.

Brad rolled his eyes and opened his diaper. He threw it away and grabbed a new one. Just when he was about to put on the new one Ben peed allover him "Oh c'mon" Brad whined.

Casey looked over and started to laugh hysterically seeing Brad's t-shirt stained with urine. "Good aiming Ben" Casey teased. Ben just giggled and looked up with his big green eyes.

"Shut up" Brad took off his t-shirt and threw it on the ground. They heard the doorbell. "You get that"

Casey groaned and got up "I bet it's your family that is crazy enough to come early in the morning.

Brad rolled his eyes "Leave my family alone"

Casey dragged herself to the door and opened it. Brad's parents were standing there, Maria and Robert.

"Where's are grandson?" Maria asked smiling happily.

Brad came out with a new t-shirt on and with Ben in his arms "Here he is"

Both of the happy grandparents went over and Maria took him in his arms.

Brad walked over to Casey who was in the kitchen making coffee already. "Good morning beautiful"

"I'm tired" Casey mumbled and rested her head on his shoulder. "Why are your parents here early in the morning?" She whispered.

"What? They will spoil Ben with gifts since he is their first grandchild. They are good parents and grandparents trust me," He whispered as he put a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Good parents with your tattoos?" Casey teased smiling.

"You like my tattoos" Brad whispered as he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Get a tattoo on your butt" Casey whispered with a wink and slapped his butt and walked away.

Brad jumped up and shook his head at how weird Casey was but cute at the same time.

"Casey honey are you breastfeeding him?" Maria asked as she held Ben.

Casey sat down across her "Yea"

"I think he is hungry"

"I fed him two hours ago, he is fine" Casey answered.

"I really think you should feed him"

Casey looked over at Brad "Mom if she said she fed him she fed him relax" Brad spoke up.

"Don't talk to your mother like that" Robert spoke up.

Brad threw his hands up in the air "Maybe I shouldn't talk at all"

"Can I see you for a second?" Casey asked looking over at Brad.

Brad nodded and both went into their bedroom and he closed the door behind him. "What?"

"Tell them to go" Casey whispered.

"I can't kick them out," Brad whispered.

"Tell them you to have to go to work or something, I don't like your mother criticizing how we raise our boy" Casey whispered.

"She just cares that's all"

"She doesn't like me" Casey crossed her arms on her chest.

"Yes she does, she likes who makes me happy" He wrapped his arms around her waist "And you Ms. Novak make me very happy" He started to kiss her neck.

Casey giggled, "Ok I get it you want sex"

"Not just sex, sex with you Casey Novak," He teased as he ran his hands up her shirt.

"Get out of there"

Brad pushed her up against the wall playfully with his hands gently on her breasts "Hello Ms. Novak"

"Your parents are in the next room, stop" Casey whispered trying to contain her laughter.

Brad pulled his hands out and gave her a kiss "I made you be in a good mood, I win"

Casey rolled her eyes and returned the kiss "Let's go save our son" She grabbed his hand and led him to the door.

Mark and Olivia came to the cemetery and walked together carrying two bouquets of flowers.

Olivia wrapped her arm around his as both kept walking "This place freaks me out"

"Lets get this over with and go ok?"

Olivia nodded and went to 'Serena Benson' as Mark went to 'Lilly and Marcus Anderson' both sat down in the grass and looked at their parent's tombstones as they placed the bouquet in the front.

Olivia played with the grass in front of her "Hi mom…I know I don't visit you as much as I should but I'm here now…you know that guy I told you about well I'm married to him now…we have five kids together…four are ours and we adopted Jenny. My youngest daughter's middle name is Serena" She took a deep breath and looked over at Mark who was a couple of aisles behind her.

Mark played with his shoelaces as if he was a nervous little boy "Mom I named my daughter after you…I thought you might like that, she's only one week old. I know you would have made an awesome grandma" He wiped his eyes to stop the tears "Dad…my first born middle name is Marcus…my wife said I should do that…for you" He took a deep breath and shook his head "I have been trying not to be like you for so long that its not working…I cheated on my wife and I don't even have the balls to tell her…I hate you for cursing me as your son…but…but most of all I hate myself…for everything that I am" He quickly wiped his eyes but it wasn't working, the guilt and shame was so strong inside him that it overtook his whole body. In a matter of seconds his head was in his hands and was crying.

Olivia heard his sniffling, quickly got up and went over to him. She sat down next to him in the grass and took him into her arms "It's ok honey, it's ok" She whispered as she held him.

All he could do was shake his head at the moment. "No" He choked out on her shoulder.

"Ssshhh its ok"

"It wasn't supposed to be like this…none of it," He whispered as he wrapped his arms around her.

"What are you talking about?"

He let go of her and wiped his eyes, he knew he had to do it, if he didn't it would eat him alive "We need to talk"

Olivia nodded and wiped his eyes "Of course"

He got off the grass and started to pace around "I need you to know that I never meant for any of this to happen ok? And I love you so much."

Olivia got off the grass and nodded being totally confused "Ok."

"You know Cindy right?"

"Yea"

"One week ago…somehow…" He took a deep breath not knowing how much was going through his head that he couldn't focus "I was in my office and…she came in and…somehow manipulated me and gave me…oral sex"

Olivia just looked at him in totally disbelief "What?"

"Olivia I swear-"

"Don't," She whispered as tears rolled down her eyes. "How could you?"

"I didn't want to I swear, I tried to get out of it and told her to stop but she didn't listen" He pleaded, "I'm sorry"

"What the hell were you thinking?" She yelled angrily "That I would just say 'oh its ok baby you got a blow job well I was in labor its no big deal' it doesn't work like that!"

"I know and I'm so sorry, you don't know how bad I feel honey" He moved closer to hug her but she slapped him with all her force.

"You disgust me" She whispered angrily and pushed him away. She walked away angrily to the car and shook her head. Of all the people that she thought would be able to disappoint her, her husband was the last in the world.

Mark put his hand on his cheek and he knew he deserved it. He quietly sat down on the grass and just looked at the tombstone in front of him. "I fucking hate my life"

He heard Olivia drive off with the car very fast from the parking lot. He grabbed his gun from his holster that he had on his ankle and cocked the hammer. He put it to his temple and felt his hand grip the cold steel tightly. If he didn't have Olivia he had nothing. If he didn't have his wife he knew he didn't have the kids and again he had nothing. There was no reason to cause her anymore pain.

He looked at his fathers picture on the stone and felt a tear roll down his face. "I don't want to be you dad…I cant hurt my family like you"

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. "Oh god" He breathed hard looking at his handshake involuntarily. He put the gun down and took the magazine out. It was completely empty. He shook his head knowing that he showed the twins the gun last night and took out all the bullets.

He threw the gun on the ground and lay down on the grass. Was his life becoming more then he could handle? He put his head in his hands and started to cry. His body curled up into a ball and he let out everything that was haunting him inside.

Olivia parked the car in the drive way and just looked at the house. She started to cry and rested her forehead on the wheel. Was her happy marriage coming to an end? Did both of them need a brake from each other? She heard a knock on the window. She jumped up being startled and looked out.

"Is this alone time or what?"

She smiled and quickly wiped her eyes seeing Zane standing outside. He had a brown camouflaged uniform on and had a smooth buzz cut. He appeared to have more muscle then before and had an army issued duffle bag over his shoulder.

Olivia opened the door and came out "Welcome home" She gave him hug.

"Everything ok?" Zane asked as he hugged her back.

"Yea…just PMS" Olivia answered with a nod. She wasn't about to ruin his two weeks at home with what his father did.

"Nice welcome home gift" Zane teased with a smile as he let go of her.

Olivia chuckled and took his arm "Let's go in the house."

Zane nodded and followed her. They came in and James was lying down on the couch with his head on Lizzie's lap and she was playing with his spiky hair. He quickly sat up seeing Olivia and then spotted Zane behind her.

"Hey man" He got up and shook hands with his half-brother.

"Hey" Zane said with a smile shaking hands with him and looking at Lizzie on the couch who was wearing a mini skirt and a tank top. He locked eyes with her and then quickly looked back at James.

"Zane this is Lizzie, James's girlfriend" Olivia introduced "My partners daughter"

Zane chuckled and extended his hand out to her "Nice to meet you detectives daughter"

"You too" Lizzie said with a small smile as she shook hands with him. "What are you a soldier?"

"No I like to be ready for Halloween so I wear this all the time"

Lizzie laughed and rolled her eyes.

James looked at Olivia knowing they were flirting. Olivia shrugged and went in the kitchen. James rolled his eyes and quickly sat down by Lizzie.

Zane sat down on the other side of her.

Lizzie looked back and forth at the two attractive guys next to her and shook her head. She took James's hand and looked over at the blue eyes next to her "So Zane right?"

Zane nodded "Elizabeth right?"

"Lizzie" James corrected giving Zane a look.

"How old are you?" Zane asked ignoring his younger half-brother.

"Twenty one" Lizzie answered.

Zane looked over at James and smiled "Aren't you a little too young for her?"

"Don't worry about that." James smiled back politely.

"I'm twenty" Zane smiled at Lizzie.

Lizzie just smiled at the blue eyes looking at her "My dad was a marine"

"Really? Looks like I can talk to your dad about things more then James"

"Do you have tattoos?" Lizzie asked.

Zane nodded "One on my chest and bicep. Want to see?"

James rolled his eyes and got up and went to the kitchen where Olivia was feeding Lilly. "Mom"

"Don't yell" Olivia whispered as she moved the bottle a little for Lilly.

"Why is Zane hitting on Lizzie?" He whispered as he sat down by her.

"Why are you asking me?"

"I don't know. Go break them up"

"Cause they are talking? Go talk to them"

"They are flirting"

Olivia burped Lilly and held her in her arms "James sweetie I really don't have the time or the energy to solve your problems right now alright?" She gave him a kiss on the cheek and carried Lilly into her room.

Mark got home in a cab and went up the steps. He came in the house and stopped seeing Lizzie in the middle and Zane and James sitting next to her.

"Hey man" Zane got up quickly and hugged him.

"What's up trooper?" Mark hugged him back. "How are you man?"

"I'm good, you?" Zane asked as he let go of him.

Mark thought for a second and nodded "Can't complain"

Zane nodded.

"We'll talk later ok?" Mark patted him on the shoulder.

"You got it" Zane agreed and then sat down by Lizzie again.

Mark waved at Lizzie and James who waved back and then he went into his room knowing Olivia would be there.

He came in quietly seeing Olivia was getting Lilly ready to sleep.

Olivia saw him and ignored him. Mark sat down on the bed and just watched her. Olivia put Lilly to sleep and started to walk out of the room. Mark grabbed her arm. Olivia stopped and looked at him "Let go of me this instance" Mark let go of her.

Olivia walked out of the room and closed the door in his face. She went down to the basement.

Mark heard the basement door close; he quickly went out of the room and followed her. He went down and found her by the laundry machine. "Olivia can we please talk?"

"Nope" She answered as she took out his t-shirts from the washing machine and threw them on the floor. She took out James's t-shirts and put them in the drying machine.

"I'm so sorry" Mark pleaded.

She took out his wet jeans and threw them all on the floor in one pile. "I'm sorry are you looking for a blowjob cause you can go find your boss and she will be happy to get down on her knees"

"Liv please"

"By the way you can't call me that anymore"

"What?"

"Only my friends and people who care about me can call me liv" She turned to look at him "When your dick was out of its pants for another woman you don't get that privilege"

"I care about you, you know that. What do you want me to do? Anything you want and I'll do it"

"For starters don't do your boss which I bet you were planning to but me being in labor got in the way"

"Olivia that's crazy and you know it. I didn't want any of it to happen I swear"

"Oh yea you just turned down a free blowjob, like I should believe that" She rolled her eyes and tried to walk past him. He got in front of her and wouldn't move "Get out of my way Mark"

"No, I want to talk about this" He put his hand on her waist but she slapped him again "I deserved that I know" He rubbed his cheek that was getting more red every time.

"I don't want you to touch me, speak to me, I don't even want you around at this point"

"What are you saying you want a divorce? We have been down that path before and I don't want that"

Olivia crossed her arms on her chest and just looked at him "I didn't want you cheating on me but that didn't stop you"

"I'm so sorry Olivia," He whispered as he wiped his eyes "I want to kill myself how horrible I feel"

Olivia shook her head "I don't even believe that. I really don't think you would kill yourself over me" She whispered as she wiped her eyes and walked past him. She went up the stairs and closed the door quietly.

Mark leaned on the wall and slid down it "I tried" He whispered to himself as he started to cry "For you"

A/N: Forgive or not forgive?