Caught in the monkey jar: Blackbeard Interludes

Smoke on the water (Deep Purple)

Jack had been methodically repairing Charlie's bike. The struts that held the training wheels had gotten bashed and were out of true, that and the chain had come off as well. He didn't ask how Charlie had done it or how long it had lain unfixed.

Charlie's soft breath opposite him reminded him of his audience of one, sitting cross legged on the garage floor watching intently.

"Is it mended now, daddy?"

"Almost squirt, not long now." he replied as he struggled with the chain.

"How long?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"When can I ride my bike?"

"Soon."

"How long is that?"

"Just, hang on Charlie okay."

He looked up as he heard voices. From the relative shade and shelter of the garage with the door open he saw Sara chatting with their neighbour over the road, Joanne. They finished talking and Sara headed back home, Joanne called her back and went into her garage. She emerged with a square box with wires trailing from it and handed it to Sara.

"Is it mended now? Can I ride my bike now daddy?" interrupted Charlie.

"Not yet."

Standing there with an adjustable spanner in one hand and hands slick with bike oil, he didn't register at first what Sara was carrying.

"Hey, you fixed it." she said.

"Almost."

"Here," she said, thrusting the box and wires at him. "This is yours. You know where it goes. Joanne said Fred borrowed it ages ago, forgot it."

He stared at it. A spare battery and jump starters with crocodile clips for jump starting cold engines...but not lately.

"It's heavy Jack, take it- it's yours" she repeated.

Jack dropped the spanner, jerked at the clang it made and backed away until he hit the garage wall.

"N.o" he said

"What?" Sara asked. "What's wrong, Jack?"

"No" Jack repeated. He slid down the wall and sat hunched up arms covering his head. Rocking …lost in memories.

He was in a damp cell, his body slick with water and blood. Battered and bruised -he looked at his hands, blood there too. An electric light shined full on him. A man emerged from the dark background. "This is for you" he said "since you won't answer our questions the other way. It's all your fault. You're making me do this," Metal clips advanced towards him, a box humming in the background. Agony. White agony. Again and again on fleshy tender parts of his body. He didn't know. He wasn't going to tell them anything. Even if he did, (which he did,) he wasn't going to tell. Really he wasn't. Think of something made up, maybe. Would that work or just piss them off more?

He heard voices but ignored them. Frowned after a while. What were a woman and child doing here? Couldn't be real. He carried on ignoring them, panting slightly, his face damp with sudden sweat.

Sara worked out what had just happened. One minute everything was fine, the next Jack was gone. Another flashback. Charlie looked scared. She put the jump leads and spare battery down on the floor, and covered them with an empty cardboard box. Taking Charlie's hand, they went to the kitchen.

"Is daddy ill again?"

"Yes, he'll be alright in a while. Let's leave him for a minute."

"But…he'll be all alone."

Sara knew trying to be nice and going over to him and touching him would not help. He was more likely to lash out or shout at her and she didn't want that again.

"Why don't you go and play in the garden. I'll keep an eye on daddy for you."

"But I want to be with daddy."

"Later Charlie, not now."

"Okay" he said reluctantly

When Jack came to himself a short time later, he saw that the jump leads and battery had gone and that someone had left him a bottle of water. He drank it, annoyed with himself for losing control again. Somehow he'd have to reacclimatise himself to various implements, and re-learn that they had normal functions other than those used so inventively by his captors. Removing inappropriate associations…more homework at the shrink's office. He was learning to cope with smells and sounds too. It was just taking time to rewire the brain's trigger mechanisms. He and the doc probably weren't going to be able to undo everything, as he still hadn't told the good old doc everything. They all accepted that he could still be prone to trigger flashbacks for a long time to come. The intensity and frequency were diminishing though. That had to be good didn't it? It would have to do. He would get better now that he was home and Sara and Charlie were with him. He always did.

He was grateful for Sara's non intervention; it was the right way to go until he could accept some measure of comfort…next time maybe. He still had issues with people touching or grabbing him. He schooled his anger and disappointment in himself. Okay it had happened, get over it. Try not to be so spooked by it next time when he needed to jump start the truck, or help a neighbour out.

He got up off the floor and went back to Charlie's bike, and finished putting the chain on. Job done- he wiped the oil on his hands that had looked like blood off onto a cloth and went into the utility room to wash up. As he was cleaning his hands with the green gunk, Sara came in.

"Okay?" She asked carefully.

"Yeah…thanks." For not crowding me, for the water, for putting up with me, he thought but didn't say out loud.

"That mean the bike's fixed?"

"Yes."

"Great. I'll tell Charlie."

"No, I'd better go."

She nodded.

"He been out there long?" he asked, by way of asking how long he'd been caught in the flashback and finish repairing the bike.

"About twenty minutes."

She watched as he went into the garden and approached Charlie who was lying flat on the grass, head on his hands watching something in the grass. Bugs, worms or ladybirds probably. Jack lay down next to him. Charlie asked him something, Jack nodded and replied. Charlie gave him a one armed hug round his neck. Then he pointed out to his dad what he was watching, explaining and pointing. They lay there until whatever it was flew off, crawled off, got eaten or whatever. At that point Jack tickled Charlie and they rolled around like…well children. Then Jack must have mentioned the bike because Charlie got up and headed for the kitchen door.

"We're going to the park. I'm taking my bike!"

"Okay. Be careful. See you later."

"You want to come with?" Jack asked.

"No you go. I can go to the park any time with him…"

She followed them through the utility room to the garage. Charlie already on the drive way on his beloved bike. Jack was rummaging for something.

"Sara! Have you seen…Oh, got it!" and off he went pulling his bb cap out of a back pocket and putting it on his head, a Frisbee clamped under one arm.