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Himizu was holding a whip as she faced the camera. "So sorry for the abrupt ending last chapter, but I decided that we needed to stop and take an emergency clean-up break…"
The camera angle widened to show Ryouko and Saru standing nearby also holding whips as the YYH Cast, the Random Narrator Dude, and various other random demons and minions crawled around on the floor cleaning up the remains of the French Guard battle.
"But as you can see," Himizu continued, "we're done here, so we're ready to begin! Places everyone!"
Random Voice: Picture for Schools, take eight.
Random Voice 2: Action!
Historian Onji: Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened King Koenma. The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise, and Koenma became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Koenma, having consulted his closest knights, decided that they should separate and search for the Grail individually. Now, this is what they did: Lancelot Kurama…
Knight Hiei: Aaaah! Shut up!!! (Kills historian)
Genkai: Hooray! He's dead! I'm a widow! I get all his life insurance! Oh, happy day! (Dances)
Himizu: (Sigh) It's hopeless…
The Random Narrator Dude cleared his throat. "The Tale of Sir Robin Shishi Wakamaru. So, each of the knights went their separate ways. Sir Robin rode north, through the dark forest of Ewing, accompanied by his favorite minstrels."
A Shishi Fangirl wearing a minstrel costume was pouting angrily. "I won't sing this song! It insults my beloved Shishi!"
"You have to sing it!" Himizu told her.
"Forget it!" the girl huffed.
"If you do it, you'll get three hours alone with Shishi and he has to do whatever you want!" Himizu said.
"YAY!!!" The Shishi Fangirl had hearts for eyes as she looked at Shishi seductively.
"Meow?" Shishi yelped.
"Hush. Continue please," said Himizu cheerfully.
Shishi Fangirl: (Singing)
Bravely bold Sir Shishi rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Shishi.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Shishi
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Shishi
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen...
Robin Shishi: That's… that's, uh… that's enough music for now, lads. Heh. Looks like there's dirty work afoot.
Dennis Chuu: Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom.
Shizuru: Oh, Dennis Chuu, forget about freedom. We haven't got enough mud.
(Three-headed man appears.)
Left Head Hiei, Middle Head Jin, and Right Head Touya: Halt! Who art thou?
Shishi Fangirl: (Singing) He is brave Sir Shishi, brave Sir Shishi, who…
Robin Shishi: Shut up! Um, n…n…n…nobody, really. I'm j…j…j…ju…just, um…just passing through.
Left Head Hiei, Middle Head Jin, and Right Head Touya: What do you want?
Shishi Fangirl: (Singing) To fight and…
Robin Shishi: Shut up! Um, ooh, a… nothing. Nothing, really. I, uh… j…j…just…just to, um… just to p…pass through, good Sir Knight.
Left Head Hiei, Middle Head Jin, and Right Head Touya: I'm afraid not!
Robin Shishi: Ah. W…well, actually I…I am a Knight of the Round Table.
Left Head Hiei, Middle Head Jin, and Right Head Touya: You're a Knight of the Round Table?
Robin Shishi: I am.
Left Head Hiei: In that case, I shall have to kill you.
Middle Head Jin: Shall I?
Right Head Touya: Oh, I don't think so.
Middle Head Jin: Well, what do I think?
Left Head Hiei: I think kill him.
Right Head Touya: Oh, let's be nice to him.
Left Head Hiei: Oh, shut up.
Robin Shishi: Perhaps I could…
Left Head Hiei: And you. Oh, quick! Get the sword out. I want to cut his head off!
Right Head Touya: Oh, cut your own head off!
Middle Head Jin: Yes, do us all a favor!
Left Head Hiei: What?
Right Head Touya: Yapping on all the time.
Middle Head Jin: You're lucky. You're not next to him.
Left Head Hiei: What do you mean?
Middle Head Jin: You snore!
Left Head Hiei: Oh, I don't. Anyway, you've got bad breath.
Middle Head Jin: Well, it's only because you don't brush my teeth.
Right Head Touya: Oh, stop bitching and let's go have tea.
Left Head Hiei: Oh, all right. All right. All right. We'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.
Middle Head Jin: Yes.
Right Head Touya: Oh, not biscuits.
Left Head Hiei: All right. All right, not biscuits, but let's kill him anyway.
Left Head Hiei, Middle Head Jin, and Right Head Touya: Right!
Middle Head Jin: He buggered off.
Right Head Touya: So he has. He's scarpered.
Shishi Fangirl: (Singing) Brave Sir Shishi ran away…
Robin Shishi: No!
Shishi Fangirl: (Singing) Bravely ran away, away.
Robin Shishi: I didn't!
Shishi Fangirl: (Singing) When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Robin Shishi: No!
Shishi Fangirl: (Singing) Yes, brave Sir Shishi turned about…
Robin Shishi: I didn't!
Shishi Fangirl: (Singing) And gallantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet…
Robin Shishi: I never did!
Shishi Fangirl: (Singing) He beat a very brave retreat…
Robin Shishi: All lies!
Shishi Fangirl: (Singing) Bravest of the brave, Sir Shishi.
Robin Shishi: I never!
The Shishi Fangirl began creeping seductively closer to Shishi. "Oh Shishi, you were wonderful!!!" Shishi gulped nervously, eyes widening.
"Back, back!" Himizu yelled, lifting her whip again. "After the filming I said! Cripes…"
"What possessed you to do that?" Ryouko whispered.
"Giving Shishi to that slut, he's in deep shit now…" Saru added, also whispering.
Himizu smirked. "You've reckoned without the fact that she has to be eaten before the end of the movie."
"Oohhhh…" said Ryouko and Saru, smiling evilly.
Random Narrator Dude: The Tale of Sir Galahad Kuwabara.
(Lots of wind and howling and really annoying sounds, while Galahad Kuwabara runs around frantically sucking his thumb. He sees a Grail floating above a castle and runs up to it.)
Galahad Kuwabara: Open the door! Open the door! (Bangs on door) In the name of King Koenma, open the door!
Girls: Hello!
Zoot Botan: Welcome, gentle Sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax.
Galahad Kuwabara: The Castle Anthrax?
Zoot Botan: Yes. Oh, it's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice and we will attend to your every, every need!
Galahad Kuwabara: You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?
Zoot Botan: The what?
Galahad Kuwabara: The Grail. It is here.
Zoot Botan: Oh, but you are tired and you must rest awhile. Koto! Juri!
Koto and Juri: Yes, O Zoot Botan?
Zoot Botan: Prepare a bed for our guest.
Koto and Juri: Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Zoot Botan: Away! Away varletesses. The beds here are warm and soft and very, very big.
Galahad Kuwabara: Well, look, I…I, uh…
Zoot Botan: What is your name, handsome knight?
Galahad Kuwabara: 'Sir Galahad... the Chaste'.
Zoot Botan: Mine is 'Zoot Botan'. Just 'Zoot Botan'. Oh, but come.
Galahad Kuwabara: Look, please! In God's name, show me the Grail!
Zoot Botan: Oh, you have suffered much. You are delirious.
Galahad Kuwabara: No, look. I have seen it! It is here in this…
Zoot Botan: Sir Galahad Kuwabara! You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality.
Galahad Kuwabara: Well, I…I, uh…
Zoot Botan: Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young beautiful maidens, all between sixteen and nineteen-and-a-half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life… bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome knights. Nay. Nay. Come. Come. You may lie here. Oh, but you are wounded!
Galahad Kuwabara: No, no. It's…it's nothing.
Zoot Botan: Oh, you must see the doctor immediately! No, no, please! Lie down. (Claps)
Piglet Yukina: Well, what seems to be the trouble?
Galahad Kuwabara: She's a doctor?!
Zoot Botan: Uh, she... has basic medical training, yes.
Galahad Kuwabara: B…but…
Zoot Botan: Oh, come. Come. You must try to rest. Doctor Piglet Yukina! Practice your art.
Piglet Yukina: Try to relax.
Galahad Kuwabara: Are you sure that's absolutely necessary?
Piglet Yukina: I must examine you.
Galahad Kuwabara: There's nothing wrong with that!
Piglet Yukina: Please. I'm a doctor.
(Note: Yukina is simply reading her script and has no idea what she is doing, Kuwabara is enjoying this, and Hiei is off-screen absolutely dancing with rage.)
Hiei: That stupid piece of crap!!! He's not going to get away with this!!!
Ryouko: Easy boy. After the scene.
Hiei: (Glare) But I wanna kill him now!
Ryouko: You will wait. Now hush.
Galahad Kuwabara: Look! This cannot be. I am sworn to chastity.
Piglet Yukina: Back to your bed! At once!
Galahad Kuwabara: Torment me no longer. I have seen the Grail!
Piglet Yukina: There's no grail here.
Galahad Kuwabara: I have seen it! I have seen it! (Gets up and runs out) I have seen…
Girls: Hello.
Galahad Kuwabara: Oh.
Girls: Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
(Galahad Kuwabara runs into a girl who looks like Zoot Botan)
Galahad Kuwabara: Zoot Botan!
Dingo Botan: No, I am Zoot Botan's identical twin sister, Dingo Botan.
Galahad Kuwabara: Oh, well, excuse me, I…
Dingo Botan: Where are you going?
Galahad Kuwabara: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
Dingo Botan: Oh, no. Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot Botan!
Galahad Kuwabara: Well, what is it?
Dingo Botan: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot Botan! She has been setting alight to our beacon, which, I have just remembered, is grail-shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem.
Galahad Kuwabara: It's not the real Grail?
Dingo Botan: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot Botan! She is a bad person and must pay the penalty! Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it, but now we're glad. It's better than some of the previous scenes, I think.
Left Head Hiei: At least ours is better visually.
Dennis Chuu: Well, at least ours was committed. It wasn't just a string of pussy jokes.
Old Man Itsuki: Get on with it.
Hiei the Enchanter: Yes, get on with it!
Army of Knights: Yes, get on with it!
Dingo Botan: Oh, I am enjoying this scene.
God Enma: Get on with it!
Dingo Botan: (Sigh) Oh, wicked, wicked Zoot Botan. Oh, she is a naughty person and she must pay the penalty, and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon… You must tie her down on a bed and spank her.
Girls: A spanking! A spanking!
Dingo Botan: You must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like, and then, spank me.
Koto: And spank me.
Juri: And me.
Yukina: And me…?
Dingo Botan: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
Girls: A spanking! A spanking! There is going to be a spanking tonight!
Dingo: And after the spanking, the oral sex.
Girls: The oral sex! The oral sex!
Galahad Kuwabara: Well, I could stay a bit longer. (Eyes Yukina)
Hiei: (TWITCH!!!) (Reaches for sword)
Lancelot Kurama: Sir Galahad Kuwabara!
Galahad Kuwabara: Oh, hello.
Lancelot Kurama: Quick!
Galahad Kuwabara: What?
Lancelot Kurama: Quick!
Galahad Kuwabara: Why?
Lancelot Kurama: You are in great peril!
Dingo Botan: No, he isn't.
Lancelot Kurama: Silence, foul temptress!
Galahad Kuwabara: You know, she's got a point.
Lancelot Kurama: Come on! We will cover your escape!
Galahad Kuwabara: Look, I'm fine!
Lancelot Kurama: Come on!
Girls: Sir Galahad Kuwabara!
Galahad Kuwabara: No. Look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!
Dingo Botan: Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
Girls: Yes! Let him tackle us single-handed!
Lancelot Kurama: No, Sir Galahad Kuwabara. Come on!
Galahad Kuwabara: No! Really! Honestly, I can cope. I can handle this lot easily.
Dingo Botan: Oh, yes. Let him handle us easily.
Girls: Yes. Let him handle us easily.
Lancelot Kurama: No. Quick! Quick!
Galahad Kuwabara: Please! I can defeat them! There's only a hundred-and-fifty of them!
Dingo Botan: Yes! Yes, he will beat us easily! We haven't a chance.
Girls: We haven't a chance. He will beat us easily...
(Lancelot Kurama and Galahad Kuwabara run out and slam the door
Dingo Botan: Oh, shit.
Lancelot Kurama: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Galahad Kuwabara: I don't think I was.
Lancelot Kurama: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Galahad Kuwabara: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot Kurama: No, it's too perilous.
Galahad Kuwabara: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Lancelot Kurama: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
Galahad Kuwabara: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot Kurama: No. It's unhealthy.
Galahad Kuwabara: I bet you're gay.
Lancelot Kurama: No, I'm not.
Hiei glanced almost pleadingly at Himizu. We all know he can't actually look pleading, but he tried. "Are you done?" he asked her.
"Yep," she said cheerfully.
"Good." He grabbed his katana and began chasing Kuwabara with it.
"Ha ha ha… Oh hello Kurama…" Himizu said, trying to stop her giggles when she saw the pissed off redhead.
"Why did you make Kuwabara ask me if I was gay?! My manhood is already in question without little stunts like that!" he yelled at her.
Himizu's eyes widened, a 'meep!' expression appearing on her face. "Um… It's in the script Kurama. What can I say?"
"Why did you make me Lancelot? Just about everyone else has a part that they at least sort of fit in to. And Kuwabara asked me if I was gay, damn you!" Kurama was definitely stuck on that point.
"-.-; Kurama, take a chill pill. I thought that would be best for you, although to tell you the truth, I think Monty Python is too insane for you. But fangirls would have killed me if I had left you out. I don't think you're gay; it's just the line," Himizu explained kindly.
"You could have taken the line out…" Kurama pointed out.
"True…" she said, an evil smile appearing on her face. Kurama developed a large tic mark and began strangling Himizu. "ACK!" she cried. (Translation: HELP!)
"I HATE YOU!!!" Kurama screamed at her.
"DIE KUWABARA, YOU PERVERTED JACKASS!!! YOU STAY AWAY FROM YUKINA!!!" Hiei bellowed. Yukina looked totally confused.
"TAKE OUT THE LINE!!!" Kurama screamed.
"AGGLE!!!" Himizu cried. (Translation: HELP! I'M DYING HERE!)
"HELP!!!!!!!!!!" shrieked Kuwabara in a girly voice.
"DIE YOU BASTARD!!!" Hiei bellowed. He proceeded to destroy all the scenery in his quest to destroy Kuwabara.
"HELP!!!!!!! SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!" Kuwabara shrieked.
"Not a chance," said Ryouko and Saru.
Hiei then chased Kuwabara towards the cameraman, who ran away. Shot of random parts of the studio appeared, accompanied by sounds of screaming, swearing, and supplicating. Then the camera went black. After a few moments, Ryouko appeared, showing a shot of Hiei hitting Kuwabara with a metal pole, Himizu with swirly eyes being strangled by an enraged Kurama, Yukina looked confused, Saru laughing her head off, and everyone else hiding. Also, the studio was on fire.
"We are experiencing technical difficulties… Please stand by… Hey, Mr. Camera Dude, are you alive?" Ryouko asked.
Camera Dude: X.X
"-.-() Guess not… We need a new camera dude now… Damnit… I think this chapter should end now before things get really bad…" The stadium blew up, sending a giant black mushroom cloud of smoke soaring 500 feet in the air and flames shooting up 200 feet… "DAMNIT HIMIZU!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO STORE THOSE NUCLAR BOMBS IN THE BASEMENT!!! Ahem… See ya'll next time… Things should be back in order very soon… (Shifty eyes) Kurama! Stop strangling Himizu or you'll kill her and we won't have an authoress to write this story and the reviewers will kill us all!"
The camera was thrown to one side, giving viewers a vague view of the carnage before it hits the floor and everything turns to static.