Chapter 2 Stuck in reverse

It was the next day. Regan was sitting in the kitchen filling in some forms when the phone rang. 'Regan McLeod', she said after picking it up. She didn't got a name in return, only an upset familiar voice and she heard it asking for Stevie. 'Fiona?' 'Where's Stevie?', the girl asked again. Regan could hear the tremble in Fiona's voice and knew what was going on. 'He knows does he? Wait I will get Stevie.' Not even waiting for an answer Regan ran outside. She found the girls at the stables.

Almost out of breath, cause she knew this was important; she could only call her name. 'Stevie!' The redhead turned around and saw Regan's face. 'Fiona on the phone', she uttered. Hearing that Stevie's heart started to beat faster, thinking of what to do, or better; she couldn't really think. In a sec she ran to Regan. 'He knows?' She saw Regan nodding when she ran further to the house. 'What's that about?' Jodi asked her cousin, but she didn't got a reply. Regan only shrugged her shoulders and ran after Stevie. 'Maybe there's something with Alex', Kate said, showing no worry in her voice.

Stevie picked up the phone. 'Fiona!' She could hear the woman on the other side breathe. 'He knows does he!' Stevie asked, although she already knew the answer. Fiona nodded, but the silence said enough. 'Where is he?' 'I don't know'. She could hear the despair in Fi's voice. 'I don't know ... he left ... yesterday evening'. Stevie noticed Fiona started crying, and although she hated her for hurting Alex, it made her realize Fiona really loved him. She knew she had to be very desperate calling her for help. 'Ok, don't worry too much. Alex always runs off with things like these'. Stevie didn't really know how to put it in words. Things like these, the moments he got hurt and confused. She had found him like that more than once. 'I don't know where to find him', Fiona continued the desperate phone call. 'I will go and search for him', with that Stevie finished the call not wanting to end up in a Dr. Phil conversation to support the woman that despised her.

Regan had entered the main house and heard the last part of the call. She could see Stevie's upset face. 'Are you ok?' she asked putting her hand on Stevie's shoulder. Stevie's eyes wandered around, trying to find her peace of mind. 'I'm gonna try to find Alex.' 'Do you want me to come with you?' Regan asked, who figured that wouldn't be a bad idea now Stevie was this upset. But her friend didn't agree on her offer. 'No ... help the girls'. Stevie already grabbed her car keys and wanted to rush out of the house. 'Stevie!'. She looked up at Regan and saw the worry on her friends' face. 'Be careful'. She gave her a soft smile. 'I'll be ok ... as long Alex is.' And with that she left the house.

She drove away in her 1974 Holden Ute and didn't have a clue where to find him.

... I know she loves you so I understand
I'd probably be just as crazy about you if you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime, possibly
Until then old friend your secret is safe with me

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? ... Don't cha ...

'Stupid song', she said and turned off the radio. Nice torturing, she thought to herself. Where to go? She just drove, and it took many minutes, maybe even hours ... When she almost was close to give up the search she saw a black Ute near the side of the road. It was still far away, so she wasn't sure if it was his car. But getting closer she knew it was. Her heartbeat was speeding up. She didn't have an idea in what state he would be. As she got out and walked to his Ute she saw his legs near the side of the car, in the grass.

She took a deep sigh before she moved closer and there he was, sitting, leaning against his car. Empty beer cans were lying in the grass, surrounding him. His face, covered with some dirt, tears and rain, didn't looked up. Though she guessed Alex must have heard her car. She didn't know exactly what to do. Somehow she was scared, scared what would come next. But he was her friend and she wanted to comfort him. 'Alex?' No reply, she moved closer and she could see he was staring at her boots. 'Can I come and sit with you?' He nodded.

Stevie sat down next to him, carefully. Her hand covered her mouth for a moment. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, but she could hardly look at him and she sighed. What could she say? He looked up at her. She could see his red eyes, the tears that had streamed down his face. She pressed her lips on each other.

'Alex', she murmured, but she couldn't find words. He shivered a bit from the grief that had taken over his whole body. She lay her hand on his knee, turning towards him. And she figured words were useless, maybe just being here was enough.

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go

Alex felt new tears entering his eyes when he looked at his best mate. She was here. He could feel her hand on his knee. He could see the sorrow in her eyes, but there was something more. He let his head rest on her shoulder, and he could feel her hands carefully start to hold him. 'It's ok', she whispered. He closed his eyes. She felt the distress, the guilt of not telling him and she cried.

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I will try to fix you

It was than when Alex started to think. He had tried it whole night and day but his mind seemed to be blocked. She was the only one left. Claire died, Harry died, Nick and Tess were gone, Charlotte, Dave had moved away and Fiona ... the so-called child he never had ... He didn't knew if he could ever forgive her. Everything had changed, and he didn't understood why she had lied. He felt like a fool. His thoughts were with Stevie again. She had always been there for him; she always had tried to comfort him after all his loses. And now she was the only one left. He raised his head again, and stared into her eyes.

The tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste

Stevie didn't have a clue what went through his mind. She couldn't even make sense of her own feelings. Once again Alex saw more than just sorrow. The look in her eyes confused him, but he couldn't resist touching her face. Like he needed something that was real. They gazed, and she could see something change in his expression. He was so close, but so far away. It was like he was studying her face. She could feel his thumb touching it and for a moment she just let it be.

Could it be worse?

Radio: Pussycat dolls – Don't cha
Coldplay – Fix you