Chapter 8 Truth the only key

I've hardly been outside my room in days
'Cause I don't feel that I deserve the sunshine's rays
And it was then I realized that conscience never fades

It was the next morning and Regan, Dave and Stevie got to the hospital. They had been told Alex had moved to another room on the ward, cause he came through the night well and was out of life danger. They had to wait until they could see him, cause Fiona was with him. Dave suggested taking a walk.

Fiona was sitting at his bedside, totally broken from tears and insomnia. Trudy was standing next to her and it broke her heart to see her daughter like this. Fiona finally had come clear with the fact she also lied about her infertility and her mother really worried about her. How could she have come up with all of this, without thinking of the consequences?

The doctor had encouraged them to just act normal around Alex and talk to him. Anything that could bring him back ...

I was comfortable and warm inside my shell
And couldn't see this place would soon become my hell

'Alex, please you have to wake up', she stared to the same view for a long time and there was never a move. She hoped so much he would give her a sign, a soft move of his eyelids or fingers. But it stayed the same, no sign at all. Trudy lay her hand on Fiona's shoulder. 'Come hun, let's get some fresh air, and maybe you should get some sleep too.' She looked up with eyes red from tears. 'I can't just leave him like this', she uttered, though she knew sitting with him for this whole morning didn't made him better. 'Come, you can't just sit here all day Fi, we'll see him later'. Her mother softly pushed Fiona outside.

So is it better to tell and hurt or lie to save their face?
Well I guess the answer is, don't do it in the first place

The three friends had just entered the hallway when they saw Trudy and Fiona coming out of the room. 'Fiona', Stevie uttered. Okay she wasn't fond of seeing her, both weren't but at this moment they knew they wanted the same thing; Alex to get better. 'How is he?' Fiona had stopped moving and her mother's arms supported her. She tried to say something, but her voice seemed to be blocked.

Stevie could see the misery all over her face, and it made her almost cry, but she fought back the tears. 'He's ... he just lays there. It feels like it isn't him.' Before Fiona could burst out in tears again her mother took her with her. 'She really needs to calm down and get some rest', she said softly to Alex' friends, when they walked away. Dave blew. 'Geesh, she's indeed a mess.' 'Well, I would be if I was her', Regan said, with a bit sarcasm to it.

After having a short talk with one of the nurses on the ward they decided to see Alex. 'You want me to come with you?' Dave asked looking at Stevie, who was determined to go inside, but also scared of what she would see. The red nodded. 'Okay, you're ready?'

They walked into the room and it was mostly the displays and device that surrounded Alex his bed that first caught their eyes. Stevie breathed in deeply before she took a few more steps to the bed. Her eyes were filled with tears, the sad expression covered her whole face, and she pushed her lips together tightly. Dave followed every move she made; to be sure she could handle it and stayed away from the bed a bit. The glimpse of his friend did a lot to him. How he hated hospitals.

She looked at him, lying there peacefully. Like there was no worry on his mind. She saw the bruises on the left side of his face, but she couldn't see them that well, cause she stood at the right side of the bed. Her hand moved before her mouth as she took in the whole picture, the hospital equipment that followed every little detail of Alex.

'Alex', she murmured. She couldn't say much. Stevie looked at Dave, who gave her a supporting gaze, though it was hard for him as well. He sighed, 'you want to have some time alone?' Stevie thought for a moment, this was all so surreal, but she agreed. He smiled softly at her, touching her arm. 'I'll be just around the corner if you need me.' A forced smile shone through her sadness. 'Thanks Dave'.

She saw him move out of the room and looked back at her friend. Fiona was right; it didn't really felt like him. She missed his annoying smirk that covered his face so very often. She sat down on the stool next to Alex. Her fingers played with the bedside, cause she didn't had a clue what to say or do and she hardly could look at him. She took another deep breath and stared at his face, biting her lip like it could hold back her tears.

When you're young you have this image of your life
That you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a wife
And you make boundaries you'd never dream to cross

'Alex ...' she paused searching for words, 'you don't know how sorry I am. I wish I could explain it all to you. I didn't want to go along with her lie.' Her finger touched his, and she stared at his hand. Softly she lay her hand on his and moved closer. 'Please don't leave me'. It made the tears run down her face, and she tried to brush them away. 'You have to get better Alex, do you hear me? You have to wake up.' She had a blurry view watching him and now took his hand in hers. She hoped it would distract her; it would distract her tears, so she could continue what she wanted to say.

I remember someone old once said to me
That lies will lock you up with truth the only key

'You have to, cause I ... I love you', she blurted it out and hearing it saying it in front of him felt like a relief, but it also made her more desperate. She paused. 'You're the only man I've ever really loved', she said it softly, but it felt like a big deal to her. Hearing her own words echo in her mind she didn't noticed the extra beeps filling the room. She just held his hand tightly and closed her eyes.

It was not much later when Dr. Neill entered the room. 'Everything okay?' He hated to interrupt people like this, but he got a signal that there was something up with Mr. Ryan. Stevie shook up and looked behind her. 'Sorry, Mrs. Hall, I didn't want to startle you. We just got a sign from one of the displays.' Stevie looked totally confused at him, not understanding what he meant. 'You haven't noticed anything?' For a moment Lucas thought the equipment had given a fake signal, but when he looked at the display he could indeed see some brain activity. Stevie glared at him. 'Is there something wrong?' Lucas still looked at the screen, than quickly watched Alex. 'No I wouldn't say it's a bad thing, at all.'

Stevie couldn't take her eyes of the man. He looked at her. 'It looks like you got through to him. There has been recorded extra brain activity, which is a good thing', he added quickly. 'Really?' 'Yes', he smiled seeing some hope appear on her face. 'I don't know what you said or did, but it was the right stimulus.' Again Stevie was confused. 'You mean he could hear me?' 'Well that's quite possible, but I have to check on him, so ... if you wouldn't mind to come back later.' Stevie nodded, understanding the situation. 'Don't worry, it won't take long.' Once again he smiled at her, and she noticed he was a very nice man.

She got outside and immediately got questioning looks from Dave and Regan. 'You're all right? I saw Dr. Neill rushing inside', Dave said. She nodded quickly. 'It's okay, the doctor says it's okay ... He said there has been some extra brain activity when I was talking to Alex.' 'That's great', Regan said right away, and she could feel the excitement in her voice. 'That's great', she repeated again to make sure Stevie would understand the meaning of what just happened, cause it looked like she didn't really realized that this was really good news. Slowly Stevie started to smile. 'Yeah it is', she was a bit perplexed. 'Is it?'

And if you happen to, you wake completely lost
I will fight for you ... be sure that I will fight
'til we're the special two once again

Missy Higgins – Special two