A/N-Phew. I'm exhausted. It's late. BUT I CAN'T STOP WRITING.

5:00 PM

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Lisa heard her name being shouted from the living room, so she dried her eyes and ran out.

Jackson was back. He'd left shortly after he'd broken the news to her about her brother without a word. Now he was back. She stared as he helped Alec carry in a mildly drugged but extremely angry Rachel.

He had blood trickling from his lower lip and Alec was quickly sprouting a blackened eye. Lisa cocked her head and, ignoring Rachel's condition for a minute, just gazed at Alec.

Alex.

Her brother.

Her brother?

She saw it now. She saw the familiarity. It had been the distortion of his face, the scar, the body that had thrown her off. He was much taller now, more muscular. But still, an idiot could have seen it.

Lisa tried not to let her evolving tenderness show, as Jackson had told her not to mention anything to Alec—x—since he didn't know yet. But it was hard. She blinked back tears and looked to Jackson.

"I need you to get a glass of ice water from the fridge," he panted, trying to keep a stronger hold on Rachel's wrists behind her back.

Lisa blinked, confused.

"Do it, Lisa, now!" he yelled, and she darted to retrieve it.

Jackson struggled with Rachel's arms as Alex tried to keep her moving, to get her restrained on solid ground. She was screaming, tears pouring down her face.

"You killed him! You're supposed to be dead! And you lied, you lied to me, twice!"

Lisa had no idea what she was talking about, and Alex apparently didn't either. She quickly passed the cup to Jackson, who tossed it in Rachel's face. She sputtered, and crumpled to the ground.

Lisa ran over and touched Rachel's shoulder. She flinched under the grip, clutching her face, but when she looked up and saw who it was, she stumbled to her feet and collapsed into Lisa's arms.

Over Rachel's head, Lisa mouthed, "What?" to Jackson. He bit his lip and gestured them to the couch. Lisa side-stepped over, still letting Rachel lean on her.

Alex sat in the arm chair and Jackson supported Lisa's other side. He cleared his throat and began to speak.

"Rachel."

She ignored Jackson for a minute, raising her head and clenching her jaw.

"I'm sorry about your uncle. But please. I have something important that needs to get out. Leese, you know everything that needs to be said, and Rach, you know half of it. But Alec knows none, and he should."

"I'm lost," Alec threw up his hands in defeat.

Jackson took a deep breath.

"Two years ago, Lisa, was your rape. Correct?"

She closed her eyes and nodded solemnly. "Yes. But that was the least of it."

It seemed to take forever, but then, only a moment before he was done. Before he'd stripped her of her dignity, of her will. With a slash at her chest, he was gone as the sirens began to wail. Lisa tried to get to her feet, to grab her shopping bags—"No, I'm fine, really, it's fine"—and get back to her car, but she was weak. She hurt. The blood spilled from her wound and released a dizzying pain inside her skull.

She collapsed.

When she came to, she was surrounded by a white curtain and a beeping monitor.

She was soaked in sweat and the nurse bustled to her side, jabbing a thermometer into her mouth. Lisa forced it out.

"No—really, I'm fine. I just…my dad's having dinner at his house tonight, I haven't seen my brother in a month, I need to--"

"Ma'am, are you aware of what happened?"

She paused. "Yes, yes I…I know."

"Are you in pain, any at all?"

Lisa thought. No. Not any more.

She broke down.

"Sh," the nurse embraced her. The touch frightened Lisa, brought her back to the last person who'd touched her, and she reeled backwards, sobbing. The nurse stared sympathetically at her.

"Honey, do you have a number? Somebody we can call for you?"

"N-no."

"I thought your dad, your bro--"

"I'm fine. Do I need to sign anything to be released, or can I…?"

"Actually," the nurse interjected, nodding at the doorway. "If you're up to it, the officer here would like to ask you a few questions, help to catch the man who did this to you."

"Do I have to?" Lisa murmured, brushing back hair from her tearstained cheeks. She didn't want to go through this again, didn't want to have to relive the trauma. She glanced down at her chest. A thick gauze bandage was wrapped over the cut.

The nurse caught her gaze. "You're going to be fine. We'll be sending you home with some extra tape, gauze, and painpills and you'll have to come back in to have it stitched. But as for the legal business, I'd highly recommend it. Not just for your own personal justice, Ms. Reisert, but for his future victims. They might not all be as lucky as you."

How am I lucky? Lisa thought. I'm alive, sure, but at the moment I'd rather be dead.

"Fine," she sighed. "Send him in."

Three and a half stressful and painful hours later, Lisa opened the door to her father's house in the same dirty clothes, carting her personal belongings and the medicinal items from the ER in a plastic tote. She shut the door quietly behind her and stepped into the dark, warm, familiar house. It was late, past midnight, and she felt terrible for missing the dinner. Her father would be furious.

Right now, her only thought was on the liquor cabinet in the kitchen. She needed a drink badly, needed to wash away the memories. As ice from the refrigerator clanked into a cup, she heard a voice behind her and the light clicked on.

Lisa nearly died with fright, but as she spun around, she saw it was only her brother, Alex.

"Where the hell have you been?" he growled quietly, nodding upstairs. "Dad and I were worried out of our minds!"

"I… I got caught up," she whispered. I can't tell them, she reasoned inwardly. I've done all they can, they'll just worry and be angry. "I'm sorry."

"Lisa—goddamnit, you're such a fucking brown-noser at the hotel, always wanting to please people, but you can't show up for a goddamned family dinner?" he cried. "Jesus Christ, where do your priorities lie?"

"I'm your older sister, Alex," Lisa warned. "You have no right to yell at me like this. It was out of my control." She reached for the cabinet again.

He stretched out an arm, blocking her escape. "So you can drink Dad's vodka but you can't show up for a dinner?"

Lisa paused, her gaze leveling on her brother and her eyes filling up with tears. Her voice fell to a whisper. "I was raped, Alex. Look at me. Tell me it's not obvious."

He stared at her, sinking to his feet and taking a whistling breath. He wrapped his arms around her. "God, Leese," he murmured. "My God—I'm so—if I had known—I'm so, so sorry…"

"It's not your fault," she muttered into his shirt. "It was mine—I was stupid--"

"When?" he questioned. "When did it happen?"

"This afternoon, at the store. Outside. In the—the parking lot." She touched her chest, the cut, and Alex shook his head. Now he was angry.

"Who?" he asked, his voice growing louder. "Who the hell did this? I'll kill them. I will hunt them down and kill the sick bastard."

"I don't know," she replied softly. "The police are looking. That's where I've been. It doesn't matter. It's too late now, anyway."

But Alex was gone. Lisa called after him, but he was pulling out of the driveway in her car, his tires squealing on the road.

"Don't," she whispered, long after he was gone. "Don't do something you'll regret. Even if it's for me."

She never saw him again.

"No, I can't…" Alec shook his head in confusion. "I can't be your brother. I would remember that. I don't even know you!"

"Alec," Jackson muttered. "Look at her. Don't try and tell me that you don't see a resemblance, that she doesn't look the least bit familiar."

"Well…" he ruffled his hair. "Why don't I remember this?"

Jackson bit his lip before continuing. "You were in an accident."

Alex stalked out of the car, marched to the store. He slammed inside and looked around.

"You." He pointed to the cashier. She jumped.

"Y-yes?"

"Were you here this afternoon, around three-ish, working?"

"I…er…yes," she stuttered nervously, tucking a red lock behind her ear. "Can I help you with something?"

He flipped open his wallet to reveal Lisa's picture. "This is my sister. She was attacked this afternoon outside of your store. Do you recall seeing anybody talk to her?"

"Oh—I remember her. She was the nice girl. Helped an older lady with her groceries and talked to me for quite a while. Anybody talk to her? I did. The lady did. Oh, and a man, outside, he talked to her, and they went off together."

"Did he appear threatening?" Alex gritted his teeth. "Did he have a weapon?"

"The police already--" she sighed, seeing that he wouldn't let her off the hook that easily. "I didn't see a weapon, no, but she had a very worried expression on her face when they walked away. I know what happened, sir, and I'm sorry."

"You probably did this already, ma'am, but could you please tell me what he looked like?"

"Tall, a bit over weight with bright red hair and a beard. I'm sorry. That's all I remember."

"Thank you, so much," and then he was gone, stalking back off to his car.

The engine wouldn't start and he swore at it, pounding the steering wheel as the engine buzzed sweetly in reply and fizzed out.

As Alex turned the key repeatedly, he felt a person tapping the back of his car and then walking up. Figuring it was the cashier to tell him more, he stepped out.

"Come back for more, sweethea-" as the redheaded man's face caught Alex's livid countenance, he stepped backwards. "Oh."

"So you're the asshole that hurt my sister," Alex stepped closer to the man. "Let me ask you a few questions. Why? Why her? Do you even know who she is? Do you realize that you've ruined her life?"

"Dude, I just—she was hot. Get over it. She will, too," the guy smirked at Alex, and Alex felt a surge of angry testosterone ripple through his veins.

He ran for him, blindly pounding with fists. The man ran. Alex followed him down a narrow alleyway between the store and an apartment building, yelling threats at him.

He advanced on him and began to hit him in the face. As blood poured from the rapist's nose, Alex started to feel relief in this revenge for his sister.

"How do you like it, being hurt?" Alex yelled. "Being scarred?"

The man pushed him off. Alex rolled to his feet and wasn't prepared as the much larger man grabbed a large metal pipe from the ground and slammed it into Alex's head.

He fell. The man crouched over him, his booze-riddled breath storming Alex's face. The twenty-year old drifted from consciousness and the man's knife loomed before his face. Without speaking, he sliced Alex from his temple to his lip. Alex was glad that he didn't feel it above the attacking blackness.

"I don't like it nearly as much as you will," the man muttered, before laughing and rising. Alex felt a swift kick to the stomach and then he was gone.

"How do you know this?" Jackson questioned bemusedly. Alec rubbed his head.

"I—I don't know! It's all coming back, though!"

Jackson had only known of Alex's injuries, Lisa knew. He had begun stating how he had found her brother, and Alex had filled in the blanks. It amazed her.

"So, you found me," Alex finished. "What did you do? Why did you help? We aren't trained to."

"I felt a little bad, I'll admit," Jackson sighed.

"Thought we weren't supposed to have consciences." Alex smirked.

I wonder how you feel right now. About your killing. If you're slowly returning to the old Alex I knew, my sweet baby brother, you'll be soon embarking on one hell of a guilt trip. And Rachel. When will you remember her?

"Yes, well…" Jackson shrugged. "I took you back here, got you fixed up, and tried to figure out your identity from your wallet. I made up a name. Alec Rocher. I was pretty damn close, too."

"I can't believe you named me after a frickin' candy," Alex snapped. "I always thought I just had truly asinine parents up until now." His gaze faltered on Lisa and she half-smiled at him.

"So you're my sister," he murmured, grinning.

"And you're my brother," she hung her head, suddenly embarrassed. "Thank you, by the way, for trying…you know…"

He shrugged bitterly. "It would have been better if I had succeeded." With a sigh, he turned to Jackson. "So, are we free to go, then? Dinner tonight, correct?"

"Ah…actually…" Jackson held up an uncomfortable hand. "There's more."

Alex nodded. "Why am I not surprised?"

"One of your first assignments, about a year ago," he began, speaking directly and solely to Alex now. I guess Rachel knows. "Was in a small town in northern New York." Jackson glanced at Rachel. "Christiansen, New York."

Alex's gaze snapped to Rachel's. "Wait a minute--"

"You went undercover on the alias of Daniel Gregory so that you could kill Frederick Nolan." Rachel was crying now. Lisa wondered why, but figured it had been the lies that had done her in. Sure, it was great that she'd been reunited with her "dead" boyfriend, but she probably was feeling that everything, even back then, had been a lie.

Alex stood, shaking his head nervously. "No, this can't be true! I can't be Rachel's dead boyfriend. I'm alive, if you haven't noticed, and--" he filtered off for a moment. "I didn't—did I—was all my alias work as her boyfriend a lie? Did I lie to her?" Lisa noticed the concern in his face, and it touched her in a strange way that he had feelings for the girl.

Jackson shook his head. "No. She originally had nothing to do with it. You were going to murder her uncle and get out. But while you were watching him, you accidentally met his niece. Rachel. You were getting too involved and it was ruining the assignment, so we brought you back and wiped her from your mind."

Alex paused, his face contorting angrily. "You what? How could you do that?"

"I second that," Rachel grumbled.

"It was easier this way," Jackson replied calmly. "Alex, how would you like being held against your will down in Florida while your girlfriend was back in New York? And Rachel, would you really want to be dating an assassin?"

"It would be better than thinking he was dead!" she yelled, also rising.

Jackson looked helplessly to Lisa. "Leese? You got anything to add?"

"While I applaud your astonishing show of masculinity and dominance a year ago in making that decision, I'm going to agree with Rachel and Alex here that you were a heartless bastard in doing so," she shrugged. "Sorry. No hard feelings, though."

Alex glowered for a few minutes. He looked very strongly like he was trying to restrain hitting Jackson, most likely because he knew Jackson would kill him (or more likely, have him killed) if he tried. "So, what now? Can I quit, at least? I don't want to keep killing people. Not if I have a life, a normal life in Miami. I can go home with Lisa, and Dad, and I'll bring Rachel--"

"Hold on, hot shot," Jackson interrupted. "First of all, Lisa is staying with me."

"Does she have a choice in the matter?" Alex raised an eyebrow. "Because now that I know she's my sister, if I find out you're holding her against your will, I'll have to kill you and face the consequences."

Jackson smirked. "You won't kill me. No matter how mad or resentful or doubtful of my morality right now you may be, I'm still your best friend."

Alex crossed his arms. "Just tell me." He looked at Lisa. "Is he?"

Lisa shrugged, and met Jackson's eyes. "At first, it definitely seemed that way. But I'm kind of getting used to it. The apartment is nice."

"Thanks a lot," Jackson grumbled.

"Plus, there's the whole 'Dad's—in—jail—because—Jackson's—dumbass—employee—framed—him' problem, and how if I go home it will make matters worse for both of us," Lisa added with a sigh, rubbing her forehead in frustration.

"Dad's in jail?" Alex blinked. "Why the hell is he in jail?"

"Like I said, Jackson's bimbo framed him," Lisa explained patiently. "As my accomplice. In killing Keefe. Which I didn't." She looked irritably at Jackson. He smiled at her.

"Ok, wow, I need to sit back down," he did so, but took Jackson's spot on the couch, moving Lisa down so he could sit next to Rachel. She backed away from him and refused to look into his eyes.

"Which leads to my next point, Alex," Jackson twirled his tongue uncomfortably around the foreign name. "You can't go home. Lisa and Joe had you recorded as dead. When you go marching around saying you're Alex Reisert, you'll either get locked up in an asylum or plopped into the jail with your dad because they could blame you, too."

"God," he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So what can I do? I'm sorry, but I'd rather not keep on killing people."

"You did it before," Jackson reminded him.

"That was before I remembered what kind of a person I used to be," Alex sighed. "What I used to have."

Jackson thought, then gestured grandly as he presented his idea. "You could work alongside me."

"You kill people."

"No, I don't. I arrange the murders."

"That still doesn't sound all that pleasant."

"It's that, asylum, jail, or actually doing the killing," Jackson reminded him. "Or death. Think of it this way—if you stay, you can still have Rachel."

"So I'm a bargaining point?" Rachel snapped in disgust. Lisa jumped, forgetting she was there. Rachel rose to her feet. "Like an animal? Oh, that's rich, Jackson, really."

"Sweetie--" Lisa reached out for her, but Rachel ripped away.

"This isn't fair!" she cried. "I want to go home! I don't care if Alec isn't who I thought he was, it makes no difference! It just proves how much of a gullible idiot I am that I got fooled twice by him."

Lisa felt terrible, and the same look was mimicked on every face in that room.

"Rachel, I never wanted to hu--" Alex began, standing, but Rachel shoved away and ran into the bathroom.

All three fell silent, Alex's hands limply smacking against his thighs as they fell.

"I don't want to let her go," he muttered.

"You have to," Lisa answered quietly. "She's a person."

"She'll be dead inside either way, Lisa," Jackson told her, a bit grumpily. "She's just been told that not only was her dead boyfriend alive, but that when they'd dated it had all been lies. On top of that, her uncle was just murdered by said boyfriend."
"Yeah, its got the irony of having a pen jammed in your throat after getting all cocky with a hotel manager," Lisa mused, glancing thoughtfully at Jackson. He scowled at her, rubbing the sore spot.

"I don't know what to do," Alex sighed. "I want her more than anything and I can change. She knows I'll change. Back to what I used to be."

"Alex, it's going to take time if she ever works up the trust she had for you back when you were Dan. Because right now, as she sees it, you lied to her then and you're lying to her again."

"But I wasn't," he groaned. "I didn't know!"

Jackson shrugged. "Personally, I wouldn't let her go. If she starts blabbing to the police about the location of HQ and the like, we're in trouble. And then we would have to kill her."

Alex scowled. "So I don't have a choice then? Why did you lead me on?"

"To make you feel like you had free will."

"Ah."