A/N-I'm sorry the last chapter was so painstakingly long, but there was a lot of plot detail that needed to get out before I could move on with the actual story. Thanks for bearing with me, ladies!! (Or, if there are any guys on here, which would be astonishing…. )

Xx

6:30 PM

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Rachel wrapped her arms around her waist and sobbed quietly in Lisa and Jackson's small bathroom.

She couldn't just get her mind around the fact that Dan was alive. Moreover, he killed her uncle, kidnapped her, and had fallen back in love with her.

It sounded like a bad soap-opera. Not a real person's life.

She couldn't deny that she harbored some very strong intimate feelings for Alec. Dan. Alex.

Rachel hit the wall. "GOD!"

What am I supposed to DO? I hate this man, he killed my uncle, but then…I want him. I want to be his.

I want to be happy.

If you stay here, she told herself, you'll have Lisa to keep you company. And maybe Alec—x—will change, now that he knows who he really is. Maybe he'll be Dan again.

Am I fooling myself? She wondered. Am I delusional in my theory?

"At least get to know him," she muttered thoughtfully to herself. "Get to know this man, Alex Reisert….

"…maybe he's different than you thought."

6:50 PM

Jackson was astounded that Rachel came out of the bathroom on her own without any coaxing. Her face had softened considerably and she looked ready to deal with the situation.

It's amazing, he mused silently. You get some women, like Leese, who after they're done falling apart, still are useless. Then you get the ones like Rachel who have a little fit and then are ready and raring to go.

Alex glanced at her, then back at Jackson, nodding. "Dinner?"

"We'll meet at the elevator at eight o'clock."

Rachel looked up. "We're leaving here?"

Jackson narrowed his eyes at her. "Provided that we can trust you." He glanced at Lisa as well. "And you, Leese. It's a little tradition that Alex and I have, going out on Christmas Eve. We wouldn't like to break it."

Rachel nodded, looping her hands in front of her.

Alex bid goodbye to Lisa and Jackson before he led Rachel back to his (our, she tried to persuade herself, our) apartment.

Coughing, he looked awkwardly into her eyes. "I think we need to talk."

Rachel stiffened. "I thought we needed to get ready."

"This is part of it."

She sighed and perched awkwardly on the couch. He sat down next to her, twisting his fingers awkwardly on his lap for a few minutes before he finally spoke. "I need to tell you something, Rachel, and I'm going to be completely honest with you. All I ask is that you let me finish before you speak and that you trust me."

"What do you mean, trust you?"

"I'm not going to lie," he repeated. "I promise. And you need to realize that."

She exhaled. "Fine."

"When I started this job, of kidnapping you, I invested nothing in it. I saw it pointless, I didn't see the meaning of killing your uncle, nor did I see the point of kidnapping you. Why should we steal you away when it would be just as easy to go in and shoot Nolan during a social outing?

"But then, Rach, I started to watch you, as per Jackson's request. Things changed then. I saw something different in you, a glow, if you wish, that I'd never seen before. A familiarity, and it had me hooked. I became obsessed."

Rachel stared at him, horrified. "How is this supposed to make me feel better?"

He held up a hand, grinning slightly in annoyance. "You didn't let me finish."

"Sorry."

"No problem. Anyway. I devoted all of my time to watching you because it seemed as if there was nothing else to do. I kept trying to work out in my head what it was that was so damned great about you, but couldn't pick it out. Sure, you're beautiful, witty, intelligent, all that plus a bag of chips but there was something else there.

"Believe me, Rachel, if I had known then what you were to me, what you are to me, I would never have put you through this. I'm not known for being a sensitive guy. I never have been. I kill. I steal. I hurt people for my satisfaction, moreover, it's my job. I couldn't give that up now. I can't. I don't have a choice, but I don't think I'd be able to adjust from the hardened murderer that I am, anyway.

"But all I can ask you is to give me a chance. I'm a loser. I'm a dumb-ass jerk with no life but this jerk loves you, has loved you for over a year without being able to tell you, hell, without even knowing because he was brainwashed.

I don't have anything to offer you except me. And, well, stability of some sort. You don't have to work here. You don't have to do anything. I just want you by my side, with me, loving me and not angry. I can be who I used to be. You see me, now, it's already coming back. I don't even care what you call me. You'll have Lisa, she'll be here, and you'll have me, and Jackson. He's nice when you get to know him, trust me. Maybe even, when things get better, I'll let you call home. Really. All I want is you. Because I love you." He took a deep breath and smiled. "Okay. Do you have anything you'd like to say?"

Rachel had tears brimming in her eyes and she swabbed them away. "It's just so hard to trust you," she whispered. "I don't know what to believe anymore."

"What I said," he began honestly, "is the truth. I would never willingly hide anything from you. Jackson did that, and he only did it to protect our feelings, and our lives. And later, Rach, when you were in the bathroom, he told me that the reason I had been assigned this project was to be reunited with ," she whispered. "I don't know what to believe anymore."

"What I said," he began honestly, "is the truth. I would never willingly hide anything from you. Jackson did that, and he only did it to protect our feelings, and our lives. And later, Rach, when you were in the bathroom, he told me that the reason I had been assigned this project was to be reunited with you. He didn't think that what we had should go to waste."

That did it. Now she was sobbing, collapsing into her hands. Alex rushed to her and wrapped himself around her shoulders. "Sh, sweetheart," he muttered into her hair.

"Don't leave me," she whispered. "Please. Don't ever do this to me again."

"I won't," he assured her nobly. "I can promise you that."

With that, Rachel noted, things began to fall back into place.