Chapter 14 Request of loneliness

It was the day Alex got home, though it didn't feel like home to him. He had been driving in his Ute, which they repaired in Adelaide and when he arrived at Killarney he felt weird. Walking through this huge house felt like a torture. So many memories of Fiona, of Harry and now it was empty. No one around and it surprised him Sandra hadn't taken over the property. He decided to take a shower first, cause wearing one of Dave's XXL shirts and baggy sport pants were surely not made for him.

He tried to wash away all thoughts, the misery that had stayed on his mind. Feeling the water running over his face, rushing his hands through his hair. Just closing his eyes and feel the water making his way down his body. It didn't change a thing about his mental state. Alex knew he couldn't just wash it away, but he wasn't sure what to do next. Was he expected to just run Killarney again, throw himself into work, or did he really need some time off? To be honest he didn't really feel like running the property at the moment. He couldn't think of a reason why. It all had been so different months ago, when he married Fiona, when he would become a dad.

Alex thought about someone who could help at Killarney. He knew his dad had sent someone, but that was a city boy and he didn't know if he wanted him around. He was thinking about Rob. No one had heard from him in months, but he figured maybe Jodi would know something. So Alex was set for Drovers, and deep down inside he knew it was more a covering reason to see Stevie.

'Hey Alex, you're back!', Jodi said when she saw the tall man walking on to the property. Alex smirked. 'Yes I am, how ya're doing Jodes?' 'Good, and you?' Before Alex could respond he got distracted by Turbo, who was asking for attention. Alex was kind of glad he didn't need to answer that question. He bended down and caressed the dog. In the meantime he asked if Jodi had heard any thing from Rob, but the answer was no. 'I could use some help at Killarney', he added and Alex saw on Jodi's face he better not say much more about Rob.

He looked down at his little friend. 'So where's your boss?' Jodi smiled. 'I'm not sure.' The blonde curled girl saw Riley making his way to the back of Drovers and shouted at him. 'Hey Riley. Do you know where Stevie is?' The bloke didn't need to think for long. 'She went to town. I don't think she will be back soon.' 'Thanks!', Jodi yelled back when she looked at Alex again. 'So there you have your answer.' Alex just nodded and didn't feel the need to say much more.

When he got back to Killarney he felt that feeling creeping inside again. The emptiness of the house. Photos still reminded him of what have been and it made him sad. He took a six-pack out of the fridge and sat down in the living room, just staring in front of him when he drank his beer. With every swung he took he felt more lonely. Why had this all have to happen to him? He asked himself again. Here was no one who cared about him and it was the first time he could remember living all alone in this house.

It got later and Alex had drunk all the beers and still stared in front of him, when he heard a car pull up. He just blinked and sat still. Doors opened and Alex didn't really care about who it could be. He heard some noise upstairs and after that he finally saw a glimpse of the person in his house, who passed the living room, but returned in a second.

Holding a box with stuff, Fiona gazed into the room, staring into Alex' blue eyes. 'Alex?', she sounded surprised. 'I'm just getting some stuff. I didn't know you were here.' The gaze in his eyes made her walk into the room, stopping when she came near the couch. She studied him. 'Are you okay?' Of course she could see he was upset and he had been drinking. Alex just stared. It made Fiona a bit uncomfortable, looking around, looking at the stuff in the box. 'I will go, I 'll get the rest later.'

'Fi?', she heard him say when she was about to walk away. Fiona looked at him again and saw tears in his eyes. She put down the box and sat next to him. A bit unsure if it was the right thing to do, but she felt she couldn't just walk out on him like this.

He had looked down, not facing her, but when he did he could only think of their times together; here. She could sense it; she could sense the weakness and confusion. He felt so alone and somehow Alex was glad she was here, that there was someone beside him in this big house. She lay her hand on his knee to comfort him, but she couldn't find words. It surprised Fiona that she didn't see the anger in his eyes like the last times she had seen him. They stared at each other.

Their faces moved closer and they couldn't stop gazing. Fiona looked at his lips and her hand moved to his face. Softly she kissed him, wondering how he would react. When she looked in his eyes again she just saw him begging for more, not willing to withstand. Fiona kissed him again and could feel he was kissing her back, when a moment later he broke it off. Glaring at him she could see his red eyes, knowing his resistance was so low at this moment. 'It's okay', she said softly.

Oh, I've found, that I'm bound
To wander down that one way road
And I realize all about your lies
But I'm no wiser than the fool I was before

Alex couldn't really think clear. The only thing he knew was that he didn't want to be alone. He didn't want her to leave. So he kissed her deeply, feeling passion welling up in him.

Slow down, lie down,
Remember it's just you and me
Don't sell out, bow out,
Remember how this used to be
I just want you closer,
Is that alright?
Baby let's get closer tonight

Fiona just went along with it. She had never thought Alex and she would be together like this again, but when the moment was here she took it with both hands. And what was wrong with it after all? He was still her husband. She was still his wife.

While the couple got more intimate Stevie drove upon the Killarney homestead. She had heard from Jodi that Alex was home and had asked for her. Not much later she had taken her Ute to go to see him. Not really sure what to expect she just walked in, noticing there was nothing locked. She called his name, but there was no response.

Stevie walked further, looking around when all of a sudden she stood nailed to the ground in the doorway of the living room. Her mouth fell wide open from astonishment. The couple was too caught up in the moment to notice a thing of Stevie's presence. The girl couldn't believe what she saw, and when it finally got through to her, she didn't know how fast she could get out of there.

When she reached her Ute and got inside she glared in front of her for a moment, feeling the tears welling up. She felt disgusting, close to throwing up, seeing the view repeating before her eyes. Stevie drove off while all kinds of thoughts went through her mind. How on earth could Alex do this? How could he be with that lying bitch again after all she did to him?

Grant my last request,
And just let me hold you
Don't shrug your shoulders,
Lay down beside me
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere,
But one last time just go there,
Lay down beside me

Oh, baby, baby, baby,
Tell me how can, how can this be wrong?

The end of season 6

Paolo Nutini – Last request