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Chapter 18 All I want for now

'Has Alex already left?' Stevie turned around slowly and saw Regan walking up to her. 'Uh, yeah?' Her friend could see the confusion on Stevie's face. 'Is everything okay?' Regan looked studied at her, when Stevie raised a fake smile. 'Spill it!'

Regan had dragged her friend into the kitchen. She hardly had said a word and she looked puzzled. 'So what's up?' Stevie wondered, not sure what to answer. 'I dunno.' 'Haven't you spoken to him?' The redhead turned her face to look at Regan who was sitting next to her. 'No'.

The McLeod tried to figured out what was going on. 'But he wanted to see you, so ...' 'You spoke to him?' Stevie asked quickly. Regan nodded. 'Shall I make some tea?' Stevie hesitated for a moment. 'There's work to do.' 'Yeah well that can wait.' She gave her a stare that it wouldn't have any use trying to protest. 'Okay'.

'So what is really going on?' Regan asked again when she had put the kettle on. 'He just ran away I guess.' 'You guess?' 'I was kissing Riley, okay!' Stevie felt trapped again, what was it when she started to mention his name that she felt caught? Her friend didn't look at her, but just seemed to get it. 'Awww, so the bloke can't stand seeing you with some one else, ey.' 'Regan!' Stevie was not amused with Regan's conclusion and the smirk she had on her face. 'Stevie, it's simply the truth, otherwise he would have stayed. And besides that; he even looked nervous to see you.'

Stevie shook her head. 'Forget it. He's with Fiona'. Regan thought it was amusing, but the stare she got made her put on her serious face again. 'Fiona? Why would he be with that piece of scum?' 'I'm not making this up', Stevie added quick, 'you know that evening when he got back from the hospital? Well she was with him.' Regan shrugged her shoulders. 'Maybe to sign the divorce papers?' Stevie smiled annoyed. 'Yeah like sticking your tongue in someone's throat comes along with signing divorce papers.' 'Maybe you didn't see it correctly?' Regan tried again. 'Well, I will spare you the other details. I already have a hard time getting that picture out of my head.' The tears welt up in her eyes and Regan put her arm around her friend to comfort her. 'Okay so he's a moron. Maybe he found his brain again along the way.' Stevie softly smiled when there was a knock on the door.

'Stevie?'. The girls turned around to see Riley. Regan immediately gazed at Stevie, asking what do to with him. 'Are you okay?' 'Uhm', Stevie glared at the bloke. 'Yeah fine, I'll be back in a minute.' There we go again, Riley thought. 'Righto, see yah'.

Regan and Stevie glared at each other. 'So what are your plans with him?' Stevie sighed deeply. 'I don't know. He's not the problem.' 'Alex is ...'. Stevie nodded. 'Well, there's only one way to find out if the guy is jealous', Regan said while standing up to get the kettle with the water. 'Talk to him, girl!' Stevie lay her head on the table and rolled her eyes. 'Nice, very nice ... first I need a cuppa.'

That evening Stevie walked over the grit of Killarney's entrance way. Blowing, not sure where to go she walked to the back of the house. No way she would just walk in like last time, but happily she didn't need to. She saw Alex sitting outside, his feet leaning on a side table; his black hat covered his face. He seemed a sleep. Stevie watched the view and took a deep breath. I can do this, she thought to herself.

'Alex?' She saw him shook up, taking his hat of his face within a reflect. He had been sitting there for some time, just thinking. Alex gazed at her, uttering her name, it was more than just being startled. 'Hey, sorry, I thought you were a sleep.' 'No not really.' He pulled his feet of the table. 'Uh, take a seat.' She grabbed a chair behind her and sat down.

And then there was this awkward silence. Stevie rubbed her nose, staring in front of her. 'So you're back', starting to play with her fingers a moment later. 'Yes I am.' Alex studied her face, her red curls surrounding it. Like he saw it for the first time. Stevie figured there was no need for small talk. 'I saw you at Drovers this afternoon.' So, that was said, let's see his reaction, she thought. 'Uhm yeah, I was ... I thought it would be better to come back later.' Stevie looked around her, knowing this answer didn't say a thing. 'So how's Fiona?' She was on a roll with just asking him confronting questions.

'I have no clue.' It was the first time she looked at him and there was some anger written over her face, but when he gazed back it kind of disappeared. Already being mad on herself for realizing she couldn't really be mad at him when he was just here with her. 'I've seen you two.' She had looked away saying it, biting her lip.

'Uh ...' The two gazed at each other again and Alex didn't know where to start. 'That was one of the most stupid things I've ever done in my life', he stated. Stevie had to grin a bit about the way he said it. She could see he felt ashamed, uncomfortable talking about it. 'So you just left to Argentina ...'

Alex took a deep breath and it was exactly how he had thought it would be like. He felt he was the one that needed to make up for things. Though she hadn't told him the truth, it felt totally irrelevant.

'Steves, I'm sorry for just leaving. I'm sorry for everything. I've thought a lot. I ... there's a lot that came clear to me these last few weeks.' He stared straight in her eyes. 'I've been a mess, a really lousy best mate.' She could feel the weakness in her body and softly smiled comforting, feeling compassion for the man. 'Well, I haven't been the best either. I should have told you about the fake pregnancy, and I tried, but there always was something coming in between. You have to believe me when I say, I really tried.' Alex smirked. 'Okay, we're even. We're two lousy mates.' They both smiled. 'Yeah we suck!'

Stevie looked away, smiling. He poked her softly. It was good to have him back. The two just sat there for some hours, a beer in their hands. There was a lot of talking, but sometimes there were moments of silence, of gazing in front. Silence that crossed the border of comfortable and awkwardness.

'You know Steves ... you knew it all along she wasn't right for me, did yah?' She looked shyly away. 'She didn't seem so bad, it was ...' 'I never said sorry', Alex interrupted when he remembered something. 'For what?' She looked at him again. 'When you said things went too fast between you and Jarred and I said I wouldn't be as stupid as you.' She could remember it well, and it had hurt her. He looked serious at her. 'Sorry ... I was ... I've guess I was right, I am way more stupid.'

She gazed into his blue eyes and it made her sigh. They were getting teary and she softly smiled at him. 'You're not stupid, Alex, you were just blinded by love I guess.' He looked down, before staring in front of him. 'I've took you for granted', he all of a sudden said softly.

'It's okay', Stevie felt tears welling up, biting her lip. 'It's not Stevie. You've always been there for me and I just thought it would always be like that.' She touched his hand while their teary eyes met again. She searched for words. 'It will, that won't change.' 'It has changed Stevie.'

'So Riley hey'. She looked a bit surprised for him just bringing Riley up. 'You guys been together for a long time?' Alex noticed he didn't really talk to her for months, maybe even longer when being caught up in Fiona's lies. 'We're not together, not exactly. We just ...' '... you don't have to tell me. I just hope he's good for you.'

Stevie couldn't look at him. She didn't even know herself what was going on between Riley and her. But she felt that her feelings for Alex weren't gone, far from. Alex sensed it wasn't her favorite subject to talk about so he changed it.

'So we're best friends again?' She looked at him again. 'Yeah'. He raised his bottle of beer and Stevie took hers from the table. 'To mates', Alex said with a grin. 'Mates!'