Rating: PG/Spoilers for movie

Stars

songfic

Ed stared with a listless gaze at the grave before him. It wasn't anything fancy; they wouldn't have been able to afford anything very fancy anyway. The engraving on the stone was simple; his name and date of birth to date of death. Nothing special, no words of real meaning. Not "wonderful son" or "loving brother" or "loving husband" or "dedicated father". Hell, not even something like "true friend" was written. It was blank.

Ed ground his teeth together, gaze suddenly hardening into a sad kind of glare. His insides twisted with the guilt that would always lay with him; the guilt that he caused this person's death.

Alfons Heiderich

1902-1922

How did we ever go this far?
You touch my hand and start the car
And for the first time in my life
I'm crying.

Al was in the passenger seat of his brother's car, staring out the window as the sun sank. He had chosen to stay rather than follow Ed to grieve the death of someone he hadn't known. Someone who supposedly resembled him in almost everyway. It had been hard enough to go to his funeral.

He bit his lower lip as olive eyes took in the still form of his older brother. So much older now than he had seemed back then, back when he was the Fullmetal Alchemist, hero of the people. Now he was just Edward Elric… the kid that lived with Alfons Heiderich. That's what the people murmured; they gave him strange looks, too. Probably because he looked like this Alfons. He'd seen pictures of him, the resemblance was clear other than the pale blonde hair and striking blue eyes. He looked so happy and kind in the pictures, it wasn't a wonder Ed liked him.

Al wasn't aware that tears were slipping down his cheeks, still round from childhood. He didn't have the will to brush them away. Not even when Edward slid in behind the steering wheel and started the car. He gave Al's hand a quick squeeze before releasing it and beginning the drive back to their, no… Heiderich's apartment.

Are we in space? Do we belong
Someplace where no one calls it wrong
And like the stars we burn away
The miles.

It's my fault he's dead. The gritting of teeth continued, Alphonse tried to ignore it. He willed his crying to stop, but the tears just fell faster. Ed didn't notice Al's tears until they came closer to town, just happening to spare a glance and catching the silvery stains in the fading light of the sun. The car squealed as it came to an abrupt halt, sending both boys forward in their seats. Recovering from the initial shock, Al turned to give his brother a questioning look, but the sight he saw didn't allow him to. Ed was hunched over the steering wheel, shoulders shaking as he hid his face in his arms.

"B-brother?" Al asked softly, feeling his throat tighten at the sight of his brother so beside himself. "Brother, are you okay?"

Ed hiccupped, "I-It's all my fault… I'm sorry, Al… It's my fault…"

Al would've replied if he knew which Al his brother was referring to.

How did we ever get this far?
It shouldn't have to be this hard.
Now for the first time in my life
I'm flying.

"I'm so sorry…" I killed mom, I killed his body, I killed him.

Al noticed that Ed spent a lot of time staring at photos of this Alfons Heiderich, some even had Edward in them too. Al couldn't help but feel a little jealous, then the guilt would attack because Heiderich had been his brother's friend and he was now dead. Ed had every right to grieve. But it didn't make Al feel any better when Ed looked at him as if he wanted to see Heiderich instead. But weren't you with him because you wanted to see me, Brother? The thought that Ed might've liked Heiderich better made Al sick to his stomach. Especially when the gypsy girl, Noa, once mentioned that they had seemed awfully close. Close friends? Or like brothers? Or… something else…? Al had never imagined his brother having a lover, he had never wanted to.

During the entire time in the armor, Ed had been focused solely on Alphonse. Getting his brother's body back was top priority, not love or sex or anything like that. Al had been all that mattered. But once his body was returned to him, Ed would've been free to do whatever he wanted. Even if it didn't include Al.

Fresh tears streamed down his cheeks; Al sniffed and clenched his teeth upon his lip. Ed just continued murmuring apologies into his arms. When the words, "I'm sorry I killed you." reached his ears, Al kicked the car door open and stepped out. Jealousy, hurt, fear, anger, and handful of other emotions stormed within him, propelling him along the empty road headed towards town. He felt strange, like he wasn't in control of his body as it walked away from his sobbing brother and the stalled car.

Are we in love? Do we deserve
To bear the shame of this whole world?
And like the night we camouflage
Denial.

He felt numb, the night air was freezing now that the sun had finally vanished from the sky and a blanket of darkness covered the earth. The stars were the only lights shining. Al couldn't see anything, he had no idea where he was going. He just had to be away from Ed and that Heiderich person and this place called Germany and all those accusing eyes.

There was a light behind him, a steady whirring of an engine. It got closer, but it didn't even phase the young boy.

"Al! Al, wait!" Ed called desperately from the car window, pulling up beside his younger brother.

When Al didn't acknowledge his presence, Ed threw open the door and rushed out into the darkness to catch his brother. He yanked the younger boy's arm and pulled him into a tight embrace, startling Al out of his numb trance. His first instinct was to fight Ed off, but when the embrace did not loosen, Al gave up and just buried his face into Ed's shoulder.

"Al, please…" the older brother was whispering, pleading, "Don't go… I'm sorry. I really am. Please don't hate me, even if I'm a terrible person and it's selfish of me."

Olive optics tried to find golden ones, but all he could see was the brown of Ed's coat and some gold strands of hair that had come loose from the ponytail. Al squirmed a little, managing to get a good enough distance between them to see Ed's face all blotchy even in the darkness. His eyes now a dark bronze color in this light were filled with unshed tears, afraid to cry because of weakness. The gold hair framing his face completed the image of a guilt-stricken Edward. Despite how it made Al's heart ache, he couldn't help but think that his brother looked beautiful. He always did.

"I know this all my fault, Al. What's happening here, in this world. What's happening in Amestris. What's happened to you and everyone who comes into contact with me. But I'm sorry! Please-!"

How did we ever go this far?
You touch my hand and start the car
And for the first time in my life
I'm crying

"Brother…" Al whispered, remembering the tears that fell freely from his own eyes, widened in disbelief at what his brother was saying.

Ed bent his head low, bangs hiding his pained eyes, "Please… don't hate me…"

Releasing a choked sob, Al flung his arms around Ed's shoulders and pressed wet lips to his. Golden eyes widened in shock, while olive eyes were clamped shut and leaking moisture. Ed didn't push away, but he didn't exactly return the kiss either. When the younger brother felt this, he broke away for crying so hard, the stars casting a strange glow as they were the only witnesses of such a kiss.

"No… I could never hate you, Brother…!" he managed to say, fisting his hands in the unfamiliar brown jacket. "I just didn't want to be replaced! I didn't want you to look at me and see someone else!"

Ed tightened his arms around his sobbing brother, "Al… I-I didn't mean to… I wasn't replacing you, I just… I…" Gently lifting his chin so they could see eye to eye, "When I look at you… I see my sweet little brother… living in the body that he should've had his entire life. Never anyone else, only you."

"Brother…" Al trembled under the intensity of such words, "Did you love him?"

Ed stared hard at Al, eyes still shining with tears that have yet to fall, "L-love? In a sense… sort of brotherly… sort of not… mainly because I imagined you looking that way someday. Mainly because I wanted him to be you… but he wasn't. And I'm sorry for ever thinking that he could be. For doing that to him and to you… Now he's dead and I've hurt and confused you... Forced you to stay with me…"

"No…" Al shook his head, "No! Brother, it's okay! I wanted to stay with you! It wasn't your fault! And-and neither was Alfons' death! And what's going on in our worlds, it's not all your fault. You tried to stop it, you were doing good, Brother! Please don't blame yourself…"

Are we in love? Do we deserve
To bear the shame of this whole world
And like the night we camouflage
Denial.

"I love you, Brother…" Al reached up and cupped Ed's cheek, allowing their lips to brush together once more. "So much…"

Ed could only stare, "Al… I…" he shook his head over and over.

"What?" the younger brother had been expecting Ed to reply with his own 'I love you'.

The blonde shook his head again, "Nothing, let's just go home. Okay? I'm tired."

"O-okay, Brother…"

Ed got in on the driver's side and Al slid into the passenger seat. As Ed started driving again, Al cast a glance at his brother. The expression on his face was contorted with looks of fear and convincing himself of something. Denial was blatant on his face. But what Al was most curious about… was the glint of silver on Ed's cheek that quickly came and went. Al didn't comment, and Ed just kept driving.

That night, Al slept alone.

Denial.