I'm not sure what to do with Rob and Jodi so far, so you will see! ;)

Chapter 39 Ours

Next morning the girls had noticed Stevie's behavior was different. In some way she was calmer, but her head seemed in another place most of the time. 'Stevie? What do you think?', Kate asked when they were planning to move the cattle for tomorrow's sale. 'Stevie?', the girl once repeated when the red head finally seemed to notice someone was talking to her. 'Uhm yeah, I think it's a good idea.' Kate gave Regan a quick look, which made the McLeod understand that a talk with her best friend was really needed.

They let Grace muster the cattle while Kate and Tayler would clean the troughs in the Eastern paddock. Regan gave Stevie another look, not that she noticed. 'So ...', Regan stated, 'and now you are going to tell me what's going on.' Stevie looked up, puzzled. Regan sat down next to her at the kitchen table. 'You seem to have entered another world through a star gate.' 'Ow ..', Stevie said, still a bit absent-minded. 'So .. you're gonna tell me or what?'

Stevie sat up a bit, turned towards Regan, taking a deep breath, letting her shoulders down. 'Alex is back'. 'What? How? When?' Regan was totally surprised with this news. 'He returned yesterday', Stevie said pretty calm, which lead to suspicion from her friend. 'So that is a good thing I assume. I mean, have you talked to him?'

Stevie softly smiled, letting out a sigh. 'He just was here. It's all so weird and we didn't really talk.' Regan looked studied at her. 'You don't mean you two ...' 'No! Of course', she slapped Regan softly on the arm. 'Hey it could be if you haven't really talked'. She paused for a moment, pulling her mouth a bit. 'So you haven't told him anything?' Stevie shook in denial. She seemed to feel a bit lost. 'I don't know how.' Regan rubbed her friend's arm. 'You'll find a way .. don't wait too long.' Stevie nodded, staring away. There was so much she needed to tell him, so much she needed to know. But something was withholding her to visit him. 'Maybe I should give him some time to settle down again.'

Alex had slept in. Killarney was still a quiet place. Stevie had told him quickly Sandra had taken charge, but she seemed to spend her time between Kinsella's and Killarney, having Riley and Marcus as overseers. After a shower and a good breakfast, or more a lunch Alex walked along the homestead.

'Hey, if it isn't Mr. Ryan himself!' Marcus said surprised, walking to his friend. 'Mate, where have you been?' Alex smirked. Somehow it had felt like he hadn't left this place. 'Hey big guy, I thought I should check on you to see if you're still doing a good job.' The blonde bloke smirked, noticing Alex was his old self. 'We have done great without you, but I'm glad you're back.' The two shared some information about business and Alex' stay in Sydney, when Marcus finally looked serious at his mate.

'Alex, I hope you realize what you have done just leaving like that.' Alex wanted to say something, but Marcus cut him off. 'I know you were probably scared, but running away is never a solution.' Alex glared a bit away, before looking Marcus in the eyes again. 'I know ... if I only could turn back time.' Marcus nodded softly. 'Have you seen Stevie yet?' 'I have, last evening. I went straight to Drovers. Man, I thought she was gone ... till I called Tess.' Marcus was glad he had visited her, but still felt the need to make some thing clear. Of course he had seen Stevie struggle, and he had heard Regan's stories.

'Be gentle with her mate. She's been through a lot. You have a lot to make up for.' Alex breathed in deeply. He had realized what he had done. The look in her eyes had said enough. But he didn't have an idea how to deal with her. 'I hope I can.'

It was a day later and Regan and Kate could still see Stevie struggle. 'Go to him', Regan said, standing next to her near the stables. Stevie looked up at her friend. 'Go, I will talk to Grace'. Grace Kingston had been around Gungellan for a few months now. She was a young camp drafter, focused on all kind of farm activity, but she also didn't back off for some work as a farm hand. She would have a talk with Stevie to see if a longer stay would be an option, after she mostly had worked at Killarney/Kinsella's the first few months.

Stevie had finally found the courage to go to Killarney. After all she knew she had to do this. She found Alex in a conversation with Sandra, obviously they weren't that glad with each other's presence at Killarney. She wasn't sure if she could interrupt, but Sandra spotted her. 'I see your friend has found her way to Killarney again.' Alex turned and saw her standing there. Stevie seemed shy and insecure. 'I will talk to you later', Alex said resolute. 'Alex, we were just discussing the Shearer's' fund!' 'That can wait', Alex mumbled under his breath, while walking away from her.

'She's not playing it nice, is she?' Stevie said softly, gazing along Alex to see Sandra walk to her Ute. 'Nah, but she can have it her way. I guess I have my share in this.' Alex looked at her, wondering what to say or to do. Why was she here? She took a deep breath. 'Alex ... we need to talk.' She said it quick. 'Okay', a bit swept away with her directness. 'Can we sit down somewhere?'

'Do you want something to drink?', Alex asked while she sat down on the couch, feeling uncomfortable. 'No, thanks', She said with a forced smile. 'Oh'. Alex was a bit unsure, as he had hoped he could take a moment to think, while getting her a drink. He glared at her, obviously not sure how the handle this. 'Just sit down, will yah?'

He sat down. 'I'm sorry for last time. I understand that you don't want me to touch you ... I mean, you have all right to be mad at me. It wasn't meant to ... I wasn't thinking we could just ... it wasn't to ...' She grabbed his arm, which made him look at her. A second later he stopped with babbling. 'Good ..', she said. 'I know there's a lot to talk about Alex, but ...' She looked away, sitting up a bit, taking her time to think what to say. In the mean time Alex just stared at her, noticing once more how beautiful she was. 'I need to tell you something first. There isn't an easy way to say this ...' She paused again and Alex' mind was run over with all kind of possible things she could tell him. He was scared to hear it.

Time enough for hard questions
Time enough for all our fears
Time is tougher than we both know yet
Time enough for tears

She tried hard to fight back the tears. She wanted to be strong, just telling him would be enough. Stevie wanted to continue, but hesitated. 'What is it?', he said softly, trying to sound calm and supportive, but inside his heart was beating quickly. 'I'm pregnant Alex.' She gazed away, not knowing what his reaction would be. 'You are what?' Alex asked softly wanting to be sure he heard it correctly. She glared at him for a moment, biting her lip. Her teary eyes grew. 'I'm carrying your child, our child.' Alex was stunned. 'You're pregnant', he mumbled, looking at her with big eyes.

I heard you say underneath your breaths some kind of prayers

I heard you say underneath your breath that you never wanted to feel this way about anybody else

'I'm sorry'. She didn't really know why she said it. Stevie just figured the timing was all wrong. She wasn't really used to the fact herself either. Stevie had found out a couple of weeks ago, when she still felt sick and tired. First they thought it had been caused by the accident followed with stress, but when she turned out to be pregnant she wasn't sure how to feel. Mostly she was scared she had to be a single parent and wouldn't be capable to do that, just like with Rose.

Time enough for being braver
Time enough for all the fears

He looked at her. 'Sorry? No ...' He was obviously searching for words. 'You're ... I'm gonna be a dad?' She nodded heavy, feeling the tears cross the boundaries of her eyelids. 'That is, wow ... I'm gonna be a dad!' Alex was overwhelmed with the news and it softly got through to him. Than a wide smile appeared on his face, looking back at her. 'We gonna have a baby, Steves!' The more he thought about it, the more happy it made him. Of course it felt weird. Just a couple of days ago he had lived in Sydney thinking he had lost her, and now she was telling him they would have a baby. But he always wanted to be a dad.

His expression changed when he all of a sudden thought back to the moment Fiona had told him she was pregnant. Not that he wanted to offend Stevie. 'You're sure? I mean how, when?' She understood why he had to ask it again, and the way he questioned her made her smirk for a moment. 'Yeah I'm sure. You can drag me to a doctor whenever you want. And you should remember when or did you already forgot?' It was funny; she had this pleasant feeling, while she had thought she would break down in tears. Probably the hormones she figured.

'No no', Alex said quickly, 'of course I do, but I dunno. I thought I should ask. I'm not making sense here, am I?' Stevie smiled. 'A bit', she said softly, looking at him understanding and loving. 'Wow', Alex repeated. 'I know, it was pretty much of a shock for me too', she said caressing his hand. Alex glared at her again. 'This is ... good, isn't it? I mean, everything is good? Are you feeling okay?' He got all concerned now. 'Yeah, I'm fine. I've passed the first months pretty well. Okay, I thought the accident and all caused it, but the doctor said everything is okay. The baby had a rough start, but its a tough one.'

The moon is milk and the sky where it's split
It's magic, and we all need to believe, that we can
Wake up in the dream, it's not as hard as it seems
You know it's harder to leave

Alex smirked. 'I betcha, it's ours.' She smiled back at him. They looked into each other's eyes deeply, feeling seriousness and responsibility washing over them. They now not only had to look after themselves but also after a little one, their baby. 'We can do this, can we?' She asked softly. Alex nodded. He wanted to hug her, do something, but he doubted. 'We are in this together ... if you want?' 'Of course, I mean you are the father.' She didn't want to mention anything else. The fact they were becoming parents didn't mean automatically everything between them was all right again.

Time enough for hard questions
Time enough for all our fears

Time is tough; it's running away from us
Time enough for tears

I know

It's okay

The Corrs / Andrea Corr feat. Bono - Time enough for tears