Chapter 47 Bottled up emotion

Alex had planned a barbeque night at Killarney. Of course the Drovers girls were invited including the Killarney gang. He took a swung of his beer, looking at the view in front of him. 'This really has been a long time'. Riley stood next to him. 'Can't remember you ever giving a party before Ryan.' He looked up while Alex only turned his eyes slightly. 'Yeah, well when was your last one?' 'I get it ... but good idea.' 'We should check on the meat before Marcus let it get burned.'

The girls had taken their seats, mostly gossiping. Grace looked away when she saw Riley giving her a wink. 'Gosh, he's bad.' 'He is just trying to impress you', Kate said. 'Well, he better take care of my food today.' 'Anything to not have to walk, ey', Regan said amused. 'If anyone need that, it's me', Stevie said smiling. 'Like you can't walk', Grace answered. 'Hey a girl got to take advantage of the situation.' 'Which situation?', she heard Alex from behind. He sat down next to her. 'The situation you got me in', she smirked while he gave her a kiss on her cheek. 'If I can remember it well, you were the one that couldn't resist me.' 'Please no details', Kate mumbled, 'I'm gonna check on Patrick.'

It was getting later and the music had started to play. Everyone had made their way to the grassy improvised dance floor, hearing some country music spread over Killarney.

I don't wanna rush this thing
I don't wanna jump the gun
I really wanna say those three little words
But I'm gonna bite my tongue

Yeah, I'm just gonna lay on back
Leave it on cruise control
I'm gonna hold it all inside
Till the right time comes down the road

Alex and Stevie had been dancing, and although they were having fun, this particular song had drawn their attention. It was exactly pointing out the way they felt. Of course they had become closer and in the way they acted around each other made everyone think they were a couple. But officially they still were just friends expecting a child. They didn't really have the courage so far to take their relationship to another level. There had been moments over the last few weeks they had been close, but kisses always ended on cheeks, hair or forehead and both hadn't taken any conversation to the 'lovers' subject.

I got a feeling
My head's a reeling
My heart is screaming
I'm about to bust loose
Bottled up emotion
It's more than a notion
It starts with an "I"
And ends with a "U"
I got a feeling
Are you feeling it too?

Alex wasn't sure if he could go further and took the save way, while Stevie was dying for a real kiss and every kiss that ended on her cheek was start getting her on her nerve. She loved the way he was so sweet with her, but she wanted more. On the other hand she was scared. Scared for where their relationship was heading to if they would become more. They never really been there and for her the last time seemed like Alex wasn't ready. Well, they never really had talked about that moment and that was bugging her too. She kept telling herself this was for the best, getting further along in her pregnancy, wanting the baby to have two parents being there for her/him. And if they would become more she was scared it in the end would break them up.

I guess I've all but said it now
So much for hoping you'd go first
Don't leave me hanging out here on a line
Baby, it's your turn
Say you couldn't sleep last night
Swore that you could feel me breathe
Had you wanting me there by your side
Yeah, baby I know what you mean

The constant glances they shared ended when Stevie went inside to the toilet. Minutes later she was staring in the mirror, letting out a sigh. She doubted what to do. Maybe Alex just wanted to be friends; maybe he thought she wasn't attractive. Looking down at her belly she figured for herself she wasn't attractive. Giving her face another look in the mirror she concluded the exact same thing. Stevie started to feel annoyed with herself and with the situation. She wasn't sure if it were just the hormones taking over, but for a moment she felt like crying. A knock on the door made her put that aside.

'Every thing okay?' Alex asked, when he had noticed she was gone for a pretty long time. Stevie quickly rubbed her face a bit, putting her hair behind her ears when she answered him. 'I'm fine.' 'Good, I thought you flushed yourself through the toilet.' She opened the door and looked at him. The amused expression Alex had while making his last comment changed. Stevie looked down, hoping he wouldn't notice the mood she was in. 'Like I would fit.'

Alex lay his hand on her shoulder. 'You don't really look okay.' She looked up again, biting her lip. She got that sad, vulnerable look in her eyes as she gazed away. 'Hey', he said moving his finger under her chin to make her face him. 'It's not, is it?'

We could just be friends
Or we could jump in

Her behavior said enough and he leaded her to the living room, sitting down. 'Now tell me what's wrong.' She smiled softly at him, her lips tightly together, feeling stupid. 'Where do you see us?' 'What?', Alex said softly, a bit overwhelmed with her question. 'I mean, the two of us.' 'Uhm', they sat next to each other, facing. 'Together with this little one', Alex said calmly. Stevie looked down, not sure what to say next. It weren't really the words she hoped for, too general. Alex moved closer, putting his arm around her.

'Where does this come from cowgirl?' His other hand made his way to her hair, brushing the lock away, which was covering the side of her face. She looked at him for just a sec, but she didn't know which words to choose. Alex moved his face closer; giving her a soft kiss on the side of her face, hoping it would relax her a bit. But instead of that she moved away. He looked questioned at her. 'Did I miss something?'

Whole world could change in a minute
Just one kiss could stop this spinning
We could think it through
But I don't want to, if you don't want to
We could keep things just the same
Leave here the way we came, with nothing to lose
But I don't want to, if you don't want to

She threw her head a bit back gazing in the air in front of her. 'Alex ...' When she noticed the words still chocked in her throat she gazed at him, figuring there was only one way. Stevie moved closer and Alex was wondering what she was up to. A second later he felt her lips touching his, making him respond. Her hand moved to the back of his neck and pulled him close. She didn't want this to be gentle. She didn't want him to be gentle. Of course she loved his sweet ways, but now she simply longed for his passion. It didn't take him long to fulfill her need. Their mouths opened and their tongues met. They pulled each other close, deepening the kiss. He was pretty much overwhelmed with her action. And although he had hoped for this, he wasn't sure what it meant. So he gently took the kiss to a bit more superficial level, breaking it of a second later.

I got your ring around my neck
And a couple of nights I don't regret
You got a dream of a degree
And a shirt that smells like me
Yeah we both got dreams, we could chase alone
Or we could make our own

But I want you

Their faces where still close, feeling each other's need for breath. 'Wow, Steves, was that bugging you?' Stevie now had to laugh. 'Kinda'. A moment later she turned serious again, sliding her hand down his chest, watching it, playing with her lips, which recovered from the passionate kiss. Than she glared back into his beautiful eyes. 'I want us, Alex. I know it's a shot, but ... if you want.' Alex smiled at her, softly caressing her cheek with his left hand. 'Of course I want you.' He moved closer again, starting to kiss her. It was very tempting to go along with it, but she knew this moment needed words too. When she didn't respond in the way he hoped for he let go of her lips and stared at her.

'I want it to work this time', she was searching for words, but her hand was still playing with his chest. She simply couldn't resist. 'I want to talk about last time', saying this she looked him straight into his eyes. This probably wasn't the best time, with a party set up in the backyard, but she just wanted. Alex nodded.

Billy Currington – I've got a feelin'
Sugarland – Want to