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Things Worth Fighting For

Chapter 14

"I wish thee will have a blessed marriage, Princess Lothíriel."

Lothíriel still heard his voice in her head. She still felt the pain in her chest. Would she let him walk out of her life without a fight? He had made it clear with his last words to her that he was finished with her. He let her walk back to the life she had left. But did she want to return? She had missed her family, but she had survived without them. Could she live without Éomer? Could she walk back to Talon, a man she hated and absolutely did not want to marry? Could she live like that?

Someone softly knocked on the door. She had somehow found her way back to her chambers after Gandalf had left her outside the Houses of Healing. She opened the door, and her father entered.

"Come, daughter," he said. "I could hardly keep your brothers from running down here to greet you themselves. And you must be hungry. When did you last eat?"

When had she last eaten? She was not sure. Before the battle, but she hardly remembered when.

Imrahil looked at his daughter. "Lothíriel, how are you?"

"I am fine, Ada," Lothíriel answered.

"Are you sure? You do not look fine," Imrahil said. "You have been crying."

Lothíriel was suddenly busy with her cloak. "What? Why do you think..?"

"Your eyes are dark, like the darkness of the ocean during a storm. They only look that way after you have wept. What is it, my daughter? Will you not tell me, Liriel?" Imrahil asked.

"Perhaps later I will, Ada. Not know," Lothíriel whispered.

Imrahil gave her a loving smile. "Later then, if you so wish. I will be ready to listen. Now, will you come to have dinner with me and your brothers? They have missed you very much, as have I."

"Yes, Ada, I will come," Lothíriel said.

"Marry whomever you want; you are free to do so."

Éomer himself had told her this. And it was the truth. She was free to marry whomever she wished. Who was he to tell her otherwise? No matter how much he wanted to take her in his arms and scream at her until she agreed to marry him. No matter how much he wanted her… Éomer sighed. Why could he not simply forget? Was it too early? It was only some hours earlier that he had left her outside the Houses of Healing. He knew it then as he knew it now, that when he left her there, was the last time he would hold her in his arms and kiss her. Whether he wanted it or not, he knew that she was promised to another. It hurt to know that she was not his. It hurt to know that she would wed someone else, and that she would give herself to someone else. The knowledge that she belonged to someone else probably hurt more than that she had lied to him. He could have forgiven her for lying, had it been simply her name and title. But could he forgive her for lying to him about her betrothed? He did not know, but he doubted he would ever have to worry about that. She was not his, and he did not have to worry about what could have been.

Why then was it so hard? Why could he not get her out of his head?

Amrothos ran over to the door when Imrahil and Lothíriel came, and embraced his sister.

"Amrothos… please… I can hardly… breath," Lothíriel managed to choke out.

"Forgive me, sister," Amrothos said and let go of her, but he still held his arms protectively around her. "Oh, I have missed you so much!"

"I have missed you also, Amrothos," Lothíriel said with a small smile.

"You have had your time now, Amrothos; let her favourite brother greet her!"

Lothíriel laughed as Erchirion pushed Amrothos aside and gave her a hug. It was the first reason she had had to laugh all day.

"It is so good to see you again, Liriel," Erchirion said.

Lothíriel only smiled. Then she looked over Erchirion's shoulder and saw her eldest brother standing patiently waiting for his younger brothers to be finished with greeting their sister. "Elphir!" Resultantly Erchirion let go of her so Elphir could greet her. Elphir gave her a gentle hug and kissed her brow. He studied her face while he still held her in his arms. "How are you, little sister? Is all as it should?" he asked.

"Everything is fine, brother." Trust Elphir to notice if something was not right. Lothíriel was certain it was his older brother instinct that made him notice such things. He always had an amazing ability to notice when something was wrong with Lothíriel, Erchirion or Amrothos. This was one of the reasons she was so close with her eldest brother. He was so loving and caring, even though he was 12 years older than her. He was a very protective brother, but that had probably something to do with him being the eldest. Lothíriel believed it was an instinct all older brothers or sisters had towards their younger siblings.

"Are you sure?" Elphir asked.

Lothíriel knew she could not hide anything from him, but she still nodded her head. "I am sure, Elphir."

"Come, hîn. Let us eat," Imrahil said.

Éomer had gone back to the Houses of Healing and was sitting next to his sleeping sister. And he wondered when life so drastically changed. Éowyn was all the family he had left. She was all he had left. He no longer had Liri…

Éomer sighed inwardly. No matter what he was thinking about, she always made her way into his mind. He could not forget her. No matter how much he tried to, he was always reminded of her long black hair that fell in waves down her back and reminded him of the darkness of the night, or he remembered her beautiful green eyes shining in the light of a campfire. He could not forget her laugh, her smile or how she grinned when she won an argument. He simply could not forget her.

"Brother? Are you all right?"

Éomer found his sister watching him with a concerned expression on her face. "You should be sleeping," he told her softly.

"I have been sleeping for hours. Now tell me what is wrong." She was still weak, but she looked at him with determination in her eyes.

"Why do you think anything is wrong?" Éomer asked.

"I am your sister, Éomer," Éowyn said. "I know when something is bothering you."

"You should not concern yourself with my troubles, sister. All I want now is for you to get well. You should not think about anything else," Éomer said.

"Fine, be stubborn then," Éowyn muttered.

"You are hurt and tired. You must sleep, Éowyn," Éomer said. "And do not try to argue, or I will find a healer and ask if they have any herbs that will put stubborn patients to sleep."

"Already ordering people around, brother?" Éowyn asked weakly.

"I have done so for years, sister," Éomer said. "Now go to sleep."

"As you wish, my king," she whispered with a small smile before she closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

Éomer watched his sister sleep, and for a brief moment he was filled with hope. Not for his future, but for hers. He would do all he could to make sure his sister would be all right, and that she could live her life in peace.

Lothíriel was walking aimlessly around the lower levels of the City. She just needed to walk, be alone with her thoughts. It had been so good to see her brothers again. She never realized how much she had missed them before she met them again. It was good to see her father too, although she was not sure she had forgiven him for arranging her marriage to Talon. She loved her father, but she hated that he had arranged her marriage to that man. She hated Talon. How could she ever marry him? She loved Éomer!

She didn't see Halmod until he was standing next to her.

"Liriel?"

She turned at him. "Good morning, Halmod."

"Is everything all right?" He even sounded concerned, to Lothíriel's amusement.

"Have you not heard? I would believe the rumours had reached the Rohirrim long ago," Lothíriel stated.

"What rumours?" Halmod asked.

"That I am really a princess of Dol Amroth," She looked him in the eyes.

Halmod looked at her, staring at her, certain he had heard wrong. "But you can fight like…"

"Three older brothers," Lothíriel answered. "They insisted that I would be able to defend myself."

"Defend yourself? Does that require that much skill like you possess here in Gondor?" Halmod asked.

Lothíriel smiled weakly. At least he did not seem to judge her. However, she was puzzled by that, since he had refused to accept that she was a woman when they found out. "Let us just say that I tended to become very eager when it came to the training they gave me. But I am sure they never imagined I would go to war."

"I am sure they did not," Halmod said. "So, does Lord Éomer know about this?"

Lothíriel nodded, closing her eyes briefly. "He was not exactly amused when he found out."

"I can understand that. Do not worry. He will see reason soon enough," Halmod said.

She shook her head. "I am afraid that will not happen."

Halmod looked at her. "Liriel… I mean…"

"Liriel is fine, Halmod," Lothíriel said.

"What is your name, Liriel? You would not use Liriel were it your true name, would you? You are too intelligent for that," he said.

"Lothíriel. Liriel is a name my father and brothers sometimes use," Lothíriel answered.

"So why do you not think Lord Éomer will see reason?" Halmod asked. "I am sure the entire éored saw what was going on between the two of you."

Lothíriel blushed. "They did?" Halmod nodded. "I made more mistakes than hiding my identity, Halmod. I… I told so many lies. I never told Éomer so many things I should have told him. If I told him earlier, perhaps he would have understood."

"What is it, Liriel?" Halmod asked. He sighed. "I know I have not been a very good friend after I discovered you were a woman, and for that I beg your forgiveness. I handled that badly, for I know that it does not change who you are, what person you are. I am your friend. I hope you still can believe that."

Lothíriel smiled. "I know you are. I have missed your friendship. And there is nothing to forgive. I know what a shock it must have been to find out. I never intended to hurt anyone, but I seem to have hurt all the people I love the most. My father and brothers when I left home. You, Déorl, Galrim, Helmling… Éomer…" his name came out as a whisper. "He is your leader. Your marshal. Soon he will also be your king. But to me he is… he is the man I love. Even though he will probably never forgive me. I will always love him, Halmod. He has also been my leader. I wish he would be my king also, but… oh, by the Valar… the reason I left home was that I am betrothed." She shook her head sadly. "I never wished for this union. It was my father who arranged it, without my consent and even without my knowledge. I wish things were different, Halmod."

Halmod was silent for a while. "I don't know what will happen, Liriel. I wish I could tell you it would work out in the end, but I cannot. And there was something I came here to tell you."

Lothíriel looked at him. "What is it?"

"Your horse… he is…"

"He died in the battle, did he not?" Lothíriel did not look at him. She did not need to hear him say it, for she knew the answer. "He was a good friend… Thalion was with me from the beginning. From Dol Amroth to Aldburg, when we were banished, to Helm's Deep and later to Gondor. I could trust him with my life. He was more than my horse. He was a companion. Sometimes he gave me grater comfort than my father or brothers were capable of."

Halmod looked at her. "You know, Princess Lothíriel of Dol Amroth… if there is any woman whom deserves to be queen of the Riddermark, then that woman is you. Not only do you love our new king very much, but you have a love for horses that I have never seen in any person not of Rohan. You rode with us to battle, you defended Rohan as it were your own country. I cannot think of any woman more worthy to bear the title of Queen of the Riddermark and wife of Éomer King."

When Éowyn opened her eyes, her brother was nowhere to be seen. She wished he was, but she knew he had his duties to attend to. Warily she closed her eyes again, and fell into deep sleep.

The next time she woke, she did not expect to see her brother, but Éomer was sitting next to her, staring into nothing. Éowyn frowned. What had her brother so thoughtful? His face was expressionless, but his eyes showed sadness, despair and yet Éowyn thought she saw hope.

"How long have you been here?" Éowyn asked.

Éomer looked at her. "You have been sleeping for a while, sister."

"Where have you been?" Éowyn asked. "I was awake a while ago and you were gone."

"I was in council with Aragorn, Gandalf, the sons of Elrond and Lord Imrahil," Éomer sighed. "I fear there is no easy way to say what must be said, but I fear I must leave you again. In two days we will begin out journey to Mordor."

Éowyn's eyes went wide. "Surely you are teasing me. You are going to march to Mordor and ask the Dark Lord to surrender?"

"I have already made preparations. Five hundreds of our men are unhorsed, but able to go to war, and another five hundred Riders still have their horses and are also able to go to war," Éomer said. He sighed. "It is dangerous, and I do not wish to force the men, but I have already spoken with many of the men and all are prepared to march to Mordor if I give the word. It is unnerving how they trust me to make the right decisions."

"You are their king, Éomer. Whether you are crowned or not, you are their king. Our king. And it is as our king our people see you now. Not a mere Marshal in the king's service. Your éored is used to your leadership, and they trust you. And that trust is not undeserved. You were not given that trust when you became their Marshal because you were the king's nephew, but you earned their trust. They know you and they know you will make the decisions that are best for our people. It will not be long before all our people trust you as your éored does," Éowyn smiled. "Eow will don our Eam gilphladen."

"I wish I was as certain as you, sister," Éomer muttered.

"I know what you must do, and I wish I could go with you, but even I know my injuries will not heal fully in two days, and I know you will never allow me to come with you. But I wish you luck, brother, and if all goes ill my thoughts will be with you to the end. But no matter how it ends, we will see each other again," Éowyn said.

"We will, my sister, and this is all I will promise you ere I leave," Éomer said. "But our responsibility is our people, Éowyn, and if I do not return, but the war is won, you know what you must do. I do not wish to burden you with this, but we both know it is a possibility."

"Yes, Éomer, it is, but that I will not worry about until the possibility is a fact. And if it happens, then I will do my best. You have my word."

"I know," Éomer said softly. "But is it within my power, I will come back and once again we will ride across the plains together."

"As we used to when we were children," Éowyn said, smiling fondly.

"Now I must leave you. Try to get some sleep, Éowyn. Whatever the future brings, you will need your strength," Éomer said and left her.

Lothíriel stared at her father and brothers. She wondered if she had heard them correctly. "What did you say?"

"In two days we will take our armies and go to Mordor…" Imrahil said.

"So I did hear you correctly," Lothíriel said. "And who has decided this?"

"We all agreed it is for the best," Imrahil said. "Lord Aragorn will lead the Gondorians and the Dúnedain of the North, I will lead the knights of Dol Amroth, and Lord Éomer will lead the Rohirrim. We hope we will gather over seven thousands."

"Seven thousands? Many of our soldiers were badly wounded, and that is also the case for the Rohirrim and the Gondorian solders. What do you think we will accomplish with this? Sauron's army will outnumber our army, seven thousands or ten thousands," Lothíriel said.

"I will not wait for Sauron to attack Gondor and Dol Amroth," Elphir said. "If we fail, at least I will be dead before I see my country fall."

Lothíriel nodded. "I understand that, Elphir. I truly do understand," she looked at her father. "Will you all go?"

Imrahil nodded. "We will bid you farewell, daughter, before we leave, but now we have much to do. I must see Lord Aragorn and Lord Éomer."

"I will see you later, Ada," Lothíriel said and watched as her father and brothers left the room. She went over to the balcony and looked down. The night had come. She could see a man leaving the Houses of Healing. She knew at once who it was. Éomer… The only man she could ever love. How she wished for so many things to be different. Éomer would lead his men to the Black Gate.

"No, actually, you can not. I will still come," Lothíriel said. "Had you not discovered me, I would have obeyed almost every order you had given, but since you now know I am a woman I will not obey your orders since I am not really a member of your éored."

Éomer sighed. "What if I say you are a member of the éored, and since I am the Marshal, I can order you to stay behind?"

She smiled. "Well, since I am now officially a member of your éored again, I say that you cannot leave me behind since being a member of the éored means that I have sworn an oath to defend the Mark against its enemies. Therefore I cannot stay behind, and you have no way to win this argument. Besides time is running out," she reminded him.

She remembered their conversation before they rode to Helm's Deep. There was no way he could hinder her then, and there was no way he, or anyone else, could hinder her now.

She vowed that when the army marched from Minas Tirith in two days, she would be with them.

Translations:

Hîn – Children
Eow will don our Eam gilphladen – You will make our Uncle proud

Sorry about the late update. I've been very busy with school and all. Hope it won't be that long until the next update.

lady scribe of avandell: Yup, it's a big mess. And it won't be easy to solve either. Sorry about not updating earlier, but as I explained, school has been making my life miserable. Thanks for not killing me yet because I'm late with updates;p

skinnyrita: Ups! Bad mistake. It was of course supposed to be dearer, not deader. Thanks for pointing it out, if not I would never have noticed. Well, it made me laugh too, but I had to change it. I'm trying to write serious stuff here! Thanks for reviewing.

Haldir's Heart and Soul: Éomer will come around eventually and fight for her, but he's being stubborn right now. They're both very stubborn, so they are a good match. Thanks for the review.

Jen: No one in their right mind wants to marry Talon. He's just BAD. Well, they will be happy eventually. Thanks for reviewing!

starnat: He will fight for her, when he stops being so stubborn and let her explain everything. But right now they're going to Mordor. And then we'll see what happens…

Sandry of Ruatha: Thanks for reviewing. Good to know that you think it's great! Later…