Chapter Fifteen: The Unrealized Love?

Was it the Hand of Fate that had been extended to him?

Severus mulled over the question as he regarded Harry's sleeping face in the firelight. How long had it been since that day? Black eyes shifted over to stare at the dancing flames. Nearly three moons at least, he decided as he calculated the number of times he had to administer Lupin's potions. The unnerving sensation of someone staring at him broke his contemplation and he glanced over his shoulder. Granger, sitting on an armchair, and Weasley, sitting on the floor beside her, were staring at him with troubled expressions. Severus snorted softly and turned his attention back to his sleeping lover.

Lover. It was strange having to think Harry as that, but strangely privileged as well. On its own volition, his hand crept up to caress the mess of thick, black hair.

"Mmmmh..." Although Harry smiled at his touch, he did not wake from his slumber.

Did he really have that freedom of choice?

Was the irrevocable oath the reason why he had remained by Harry's side all this time? Or was it because of Harry's words, that even if he had chosen to leave, Harry would come to him? Persistent, stubborn brat. Severus shook his head. He knew he didn't have the choice - that was Harry's to make, not his. He gritted his teeth. Maybe this was what was bothering him. Harry, for all the innocence he still possessed, managed to ensnare him completely. He had the option to run, but Harry was determined to catch him in the end. And then a thought crawled in his mind. It surprised him tremendously. Is this how unwilling bachelors would feel at the thought of getting married? He blinked and stared at Harry's face - still oblivious to his silent dilemma - incredulously.

Why was he sticking to Harry?

He continued to entertain his worries until the soft rustle of a skirt reached his ears. He turned his head sharply and frowned at Granger. The intelligent witch did not say anything as she took a cushion and joined them by the fireplace.

"Can I ask you something?" Granger asked quietly. She looked nervously at Harry, as though afraid he would wake upon the sound of her voice. Harry continued to sleep, however.

"No," Severus answered curtly and looked back at the fire.

"It is something which you are also thinking, I suspect..."

Damn her and her clever instincts. Severus scowled. "What is it?" he asked gruffly.

"Well ... you don't really like being with us, right?" Granger stared into his eyes calmly.

"Do I look like I'm having the time of my life?" Severus shot back testily.

"So, why are you?"

Bulls-eye. Severus' expression soured.

"It is not like Harry would get weepy and traumatized if you leave. Angry, yes, determined to get you back, obviously ... but it is not about Harry. He isn't having doubts like you do."

"And how can I not have doubts, Granger? Why would a young man like your friend fall in love with me?" He frowned, all the while silently cursing Harry that he was stupid, belligerent and suicidal. "I am not a good person ... is he always so attracted to trouble?"

"Yeah, you are trouble, all right," Weasley muttered. Severus glared at him. Oddly, Weasley stood his ground and stared back. "Just for your information, Snape, Harry didn't ... like you because he pitied you."

Severus clamped his mouth shut. A small part of him was relieved that that hadn't been the case. He muttered an oath under his breath. He wished he knew the answer. All those nagging doubts and annoying questions would definitely stop plaguing him if he did.

"Are you staying so that you could take advantage of Harry like that?" Granger asked, ignoring her partner's exclamation of disgust. "Harry is a beautiful young man after all."

His lips stretched out into a malicious snarl, his fingers unconsciously tightening on the front of Harry's T-shirt.

"That's not it, either?" Granger smiled. "Could it be possible that you are actually in love with him?"

The question stunned him. In love...? Severus stared blankly at the female witch. In love with him? His gaze dropped to his lover's face. In love with him? Severus thought weakly.

After several minutes of silence, Granger sighed. "Now I know why you've been hard on yourself. This is the first time that you are having unexplainable feelings, right? Especially about Harry."

"You are being dangerously presumptuous, witch."

But Granger looked smugly at him. He looked away and contemplated Harry's face as a myriad of memories and the emotions with them resurfaced for his examination. He felt the bitter resentment and ugly feel of jealousy back in his throat. This emotion was not brought on by Harry's luck or the fact that he was quite the famous wizard. No, the emotion was brought on when he had caught Viktor Krum smile tentatively at Harry. The ex-Durmstrang student had been one of the scouts working with a dragon-keeper. He shook the memory away, and another presented itself. The next memory was something that had happened recently, on the night of a full moon. Harry was nearly caught by Lupin, although he had been prancing around in his Animagus form. Severus had taken to following the brat around before that, and he was quite furious, as he had dragged Harry back to their haven. They had argued quietly and after Severus had made sure that Harry had not suffered anything worse, did not talk to him for the rest of the week. One morning, however, Harry had apologized to him, and Severus had surprised both of them when he had grabbed Harry and embraced him tightly.

His cheeks heated up at his own foolish behavior.

"The realization is hitting you hard."

"Shut up," Severus growled at her amused tone.

"Are you sure it's love, Hermione? He's a bloody psycho if you ask me. Following Harry around like a stalker-"

"Not without a good reason, Weasley!" Severus barked. "And what were you doing, letting him experiment in the forest on a full moon night? It does not mean he is safe from Lupin just because he has immunity being in his Animagus form! The brat could have his neck broken by the werewolf! And why are you laughing?" he demanded suspiciously.

Hermione Granger was not looking at him - in fact, she was not looking at anything at all as she had covered her face with her hands, chortling away. Ron Weasley, it seemed, had no clue whatsoever.

"You were worried about him," Granger finally enlightened him.

"I was not worried about the brat!" Severus said defensively. Granger shook her head and chuckled as she rose to her feet.

"Try to accept that you do love him. It'll be easier for you then," she said with a smile and beckoned at Weasley to follow her.

The area by the fireplace was quiet and tranquil again. Severus did not know how many minutes had passed with him debating with his thoughts. The wizard resting on his lap muttered something and rubbed his eyes, before slipping on his glasses.

"Sorry," Harry apologized as he sat up. Blinking sleepily, he asked, "What's the time?"

Severus shrugged, not trusting his voice to say anything.

"What's wrong?" Harry looked at him thoughtfully.

Being able to look in those eyes enabled him to think more clearly for some reason. Harry was an annoying brat certainly. His stubborn bravery was something that Severus both admired and hated. His stubbornness was a constant pain in his arse, but Severus had found out that once he had broken past that, Harry was something else. Dedicated and passionate to his learning - even if it had to be something the brat enjoyed - somehow struck cords within him. It was not so much of Harry's wonderful body as he had once feared, but the wizard's fierce and lively spirit. He was drawn to it like a piece of metal to a lodestone. Weasley's words made him smile as he saw the irony. It was entirely possible that Harry was not as attracted as Severus was to him. He knew Harry liked challenges and it seemed that he was doing his best to become a good comrade, an equal. A partner.

"You have me securely wrapped around your little finger, haven't you?" Severus smiled cynically.

"Huh?" Harry looked at him in confusion.

"Since your head is cloudy with sleepiness, let's go to bed. And what were you thinking - using me as a pillow with all of your friends to witness it?"

Harry grinned. "Well, I was tired ... and you were stroking my hair, which had felt very, very nice ... and you didn't wake me."

"Annoying brat..." Severus took the hand Harry offered and pulled himself up.

"Severus?" Harry's fingers interlaced with his own. The older wizard rolled his eyes at the clasp.

"What?"

"I'm hungry."

Eyebrows furrowed at that. His expression changed quickly into incredulity when Harry pressed up against him boldly. In the hall ... where anyone could see them. Severus tugged hard at the hand clasped within his own.

"You really are too blunt for your own good," he hissed and dragged Harry toward their room. The minute they were in their private sanctuary, Harry started to fondle him as he tried to put up some wards on the door and room.

"I didn't want to say out any innuendoes. You will go too slowly for my taste." Harry palmed his crotch. "I'm in the mood for some quick, hard sex. I want you to screw me until I scream and come so hard that I'll mess the whole bed."

Severus took a deep breath, trying not to let his lust take control over him completely. "You are ... quite the nasty bitch... Or should I say ewe?" He grabbed Harry's hips and thrust against him gently.

"Only for you, Severus," Harry said with a wicked smile. "Only if it's with you."

"And why is that?" He shuddered as Harry bit his throat.

"Because I love you," the younger man said simply. "Of course, it's because I know that my lover does have a kinky nature, which he doesn't want to admit but it's all right because I'm willing to learn all that I can about him. And maybe ... if he knows just how much I'm trying ... he'll let go some of his pride and admit that he loves me too. That is ... if he does love me..." Harry grinned at him happily. "Which really means ... I will be patient with you. I doubt you're accustomed to the act of giving out confessions."

Severus allowed himself a rare smile. "You are quite the impossible brat, do you know?" Harry laughed, eagerly tugging him toward their bed.

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