Well, here's chapter two. I want to thank everyone who read, especially those who took their time to review. I appreciate the compliments and constructive opinions, which I tried to apply to this chapter. I hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think...

Shuichi entered the dark apartment a little after six in the morning. Quietly closing the door behind him and laying his keys on the small table to his right, he proceeded to walk through the living room. Walking down the short hallway towards his bedroom, he passed the bathroom where he could hear the faint sounds of his roommate, Nicole, singing in the shower. He could not help letting a small chuckle leave his lips (who's around to hear him anyway?). He entered his bedroom, stripped down to his boxers, and lay on top of the covers, not having the energy to pull them out from under him.

Nicole, or Nikki, was the first and only person Shuichi befriended since he arrived in America. He was very fortunate, actually, that she had been at the airport that day, seeing her brother off to school in New York. It was when Shu's plane had landed that reality finally sank in for the teenager. Suddenly, he realized that he was a seventeen-year-old minor, he had no money, and barely understood a word of English. Yet there he was, in an overly-crowded airport in a foreign country...utterly lost. He managed to find his way outside with minimal trouble, seeing as how slender and petite he was. He made his way into the parking lot and succumbed to a panic attack. Although he did not understand what an anxiety attack was at the time, all he knew was that he was terrified. Silently crying, palms slick with sweat, and unable to control his shaking body, he fell against a large parked passenger bus. A million thoughts ran through his head, none of them coherent save for one. What am I going to do?

He remembered only bits and pieces of what followed. He did recall being approached by a tall, red-haired American who looked to be several years older than himself, her face filled with concern. When she reached out to gently touch his shoulder, he became hysterical and lashed out at her - screaming for her not to touch him. Moments afterwards, everything was blissfully dark.

Shuichi awoke several hours later, laying on a very comfortable couch. The lady he remembered from the airport sat across from him in an overstuffed recliner, reading from a book. He noticed the mixture of Japanese and English on the cover. He spotted his passport opened on the coffee table, revealing his nationality. His breath cough in his chest from fear of the realization that he had no idea where he was, who she was, and why he had been taken here. The woman looked up at him with a passive and gentle expression, noticing that he had finally regained consciousness. She flipped quickly through her book, finding the page she was looking for. Catching his gaze again, she spoke. "Wajin?" Not quite able to find his voice, he simply gave a slight nod. Smiling brilliantly and referring to the pages often, she introduced herself, in battered Japanese, as Nicole Harrison.

That had been three long years ago. Feeling that he had no other choice at that point, he hesitantly accepted her offer for a place to stay as well as a job. Nicole and her uncle managed a large and profitable hardware store only a few blocks from the apartment. Being in need of a new stock-boy, Richard Harrison, or Uncle Rick as he was called, begrudgingly agreed to hire the foreign boy under Nikki's supervision. The job was physically exhausting, but it did not require interaction with customers, for which he was thankful. Being a fast learner, he was soon able to work the night shift without a supervisor and began working alone after store hours. What caused him a great deal of difficulty, however, was learning English. Not only did he need to learn the language to perform his job correctly, Nikki was determined to not be "the only one to sound like a complete moron". She happened to be a persistent and effective teacher, and he eventually learned, however rough, a vocabulary suitable enough to get by.

However grateful Shuichi was for Nikki's help, they had maintained only a tentative friendship caused, of course, by his compulsion to distance himself. He did feel more comfortable around her than he would have another guy, but he could not bring himself to completely relax. He knew the moment he let his guard down, betrayal would definitely come as a result of his foolishness. Because of this, he kept their conversations simple and he never confided in her, especially regarding his past in Japan. He would still feel an unsettling fear when she approached or sat near him while reading or watching television. Although he never revealed his uneasiness, she seemed to sense it regardless, and he could see the sadness in her eyes. Outwardly, he would brush her questions off under the guise of not understanding or he would simply leave the room. Although he maintained his apathetic facade, in his mind he felt like scum.

Shuichi glanced to his side table. The alarm clock that sat there glared a bright, angry red. 6:32am. Hearing the shower stop, he closed his eyes. He did not want to see her, felt that he could not say goodbye. This place, where he had spent the last three years of his life, will soon be left behind. He could not, for the life of him, figure out what had made him agree to go back to that place which held so many horrible memories. Hiro. He was the reason. Although his friend, who could probably take the position as his "best" friend, had been pleading him for two years to move back to Japan, he had alway outright refused. But last conversation they had...he sounded so sad over the phone.

"Even though you are halfway around the world, you are my best friend, Shu-kun. I just want to have my best friend back..."

Those words, spoken so softly, struck a nerve. He had kept the promise he made with himself when he caught that first airplane. When he became settled in his new home, he told Hiro everything, and managed it with surprisingly few tears. He immediately prepared himself for the worst. He just knew that Hiro would be repulsed by him, disgusted with the notion that he had been so friendly with someone so dirty, so tainted. To his surprise, Hiro had become furious, but not at his friend. Instead, his rage was directed towards Shu's so-called family, and especially Aki. Shuichi did not understand why Hiro would forgive him for his actions, he knew that he did not deserve sympathy - he deserved to be lashed out on, to receive scorn. What he felt he did not deserve, Hiro gave regardless, even the promise that he would never tell anyone else about his past. For the first time in too many years to remember, Shu found himself believing in someone.

So when Hiro called last week with his plea, Shuichi found that he could not brush him off like so many other times. He knew Hiro had disobeyed his parents' wishes for him to go to school to become a doctor or a lawyer, and instead continued to drive towards a music career. The music business had not been kind to the struggling guitarist, and he found that even after two years of hard work, he still could not land a permanent position in a band. Instead, he worked as a fill-in for groups whose player was out due to illness or other problems. Shuichi had always felt that his friend was an incredibly talented musician and deserved the best. After shyly voicing this opinion, Hiro confessed his desire to form his own band. He even has a willing synth player, all he needed was a singer. Although it was true that Shu made a hobby of writing lyrics in his free time, he did not feel that he had a voice worth using. After several hours of heartfelt pleading on Hiro's part, Shuichi reluctantly agreed to give it a shot, informing Hiro that he was making absolutely no promises. Not giving his friend even a moment to recant his acceptance, he quickly informed Shu that he would reserve a plane ticket for him to pick up at the airport in six days, covering the expense himself. He also offered to have his boss provide living arrangements until he got situated.

A light tap sounded at his door and opened a moment later, allowing bright light to pour into his room. He placed an arm across his face, covering his eyes. He did not make a sound to acknowlege the visitor, and she did not need one. Nicole cleared her throat quietly, trying to mask the dejection in her voice. "When is your plane scheduled to leave?"

"Eight o'clock," he replied impassively.

She nodded to herself. "I guess...I hope that you...have a nice flight." She sniffed softly, hoping he would not hear it. He did. "You can...keep your key. You can visit anytime." She paused a moment, almost as if waiting for a response, although she knew she would not get one. "I have to go to work, if I'm late again Uncle Rick will kill me. I won't be here when you leave, so...you know how I hate goodbye's."

A moment later he heard his door close gently. There was movement in the living room, then a few minutes later, nothing. It was only then, to the emptiness of his own small room, where only the shadows that lingered were witness, he whispered a hushed reply.

"Goodbye."

Hiro opened the door to the office and entered quietly. He noted that the room, as usual, was immaculate. The dominating feature of the space was the wall-to-wall window that overlooked the Tokyo skyline. Bright, mid-morning sunlight poured in unobstructed, casting a glow on the large mahogany desk. Behind said piece of furniture, in a plush leather chair, sat perhaps the most influential man in the music industry. One would not know by looking at him the authority he commanded in everything he did. He was a rather small man with soft, almost feminine qualities, topped with thick platinum blond hair. It was his eyes that contradicted his physical frailty. Those intense, aqua-toned orbs were what betrayed the fake, habitual smile that often graced his face. When caught in his stare, one would quickly realize that Seguchi Tohma was one man you wanted to be in good graces with. What he wanted, he got. He was cunning and meticulous in his affairs, and was fiercely loyal to the best interest of both his family and his employees.

"Nakano-san," Tohma gestured towards an opposing chair. Hiro took the invitation and slid into the seat facing his boss. He sat there for several minutes waiting for the elder to speak first. It was not that he felt uncomfortable around the older man, he simply knew that anything he said would be heavily weighed and chose to only answer what was directly asked of him. After being employed at NG as a studio musician for two years, he knew that the favor he was asking of Tohma was abnormal in the least, but he had every faith in his friend that it was a good move, both for said friend as well as for the company. This is the very thing he had been looking forward to since he started playing for the record label. Despite what he had told his friend, he had turned down many offers to join up-and-coming bands. Although he felt extremely guilty for lying to his friend, there was only one person he wished to play alongside...

Tohma sighed audibly and reclined slightly in his chair, intertwining his fingers to lay across his chest. "We both know why I called you here, and I have considered your requisition. You do realize, Nakano-san, that there are usually procedures and channels one normally has to follow in order to gain a position here. One does not simply 'show up' one day to meet with a prepared contract. I would be going out of my way and putting my faith in your better judgment, rather than mine, should I grant your request." He met Hiro's gaze from across the desk and locked it. "Are you so very confident in your friend's talent, even if it meant your own future here with NG?"

Hiro did not blink an eye at the lightly-veiled threat contained in that question. Rather, he hardened his resolve and stared back with determination. Without a moments' hesitation, he answered, "Yes I do."

Apparently pleased with his response, Tohma shifted forward to sift through a pile of various papers on his desk. "Tell me, when is your friend due to arrive?"

"His flight leaves from California tonight, he should be settled by tomorrow morning."

"I see," Tohma sighed. "In that case, I would like to meet with him tomorrow afternoon. Say around four o'clock."

"That shouldn't be a problem. I'll make sure he's here on time." Hiro could not help the trace of excitement that graced his features.

Tohma let a genuine smile grace his lips for a moment. He knew very well what a great asset Hiro could be with the right partners. He also knew that the young man had been holding out over the past two years, playing with other bands simply as a means of keeping his employment at the studio. I do hope this Shindo-san is all he is considered to be, he thought. "Well, I am sure that Sugura-san would like to hear the news. Make sure he is aware of tomorrow's meeting, as well as K-san. I would like all of you present, seeing as how you will be working together. That is all," Tohma dismissed.

Standing up and giving a polite bow, Hiro made his way out the office and down the hall to enter the elevator. A large smile formed on his lips. He did not know why, after two years, he had finally been able to talk Shuichi into returning home, but he was not going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers. He knew his friend used to spend hours in school writing lyrics in his notebook. In retrospect, after learning what Shu had kept quiet, Hiro realized it was probably his only way to express his pain without drawing attention to himself. He even managed to hear a little of Shu's singing when he thought he had been alone before class. Even at such a young age, his voice was remarkable. Hiro did not tell him this, of course, afraid that he would scare him and therefore prompt him into giving up his only outlet.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he took a celluar phone from his pocket and dialed a number. The phone picked up after two rings.

"Moshi moshi."

"Sugura-kun, it's Hiro. I've got great news..."

...with a shove, he fell back against the already-soiled bedding. The large figure looming over him was faceless...they alway were to his subconscious. He preferred it that way, actually. He would rather not have to remember those hungry, demonic orbs or the twisted smiles...He could hear the voice, but the words by that time were lost to him...pain is all he knew. Firey pain lacing from every inch of his body...when would it stop? A slap to the face, and the man was inside him now, ripping him apart. Thrusting deeply, over and over again, spit and blood the only lubrication. Animalistic grunts and moans filled his ears, and he fought to remain motionless, noiseless. He did not dare cry out, dared not beg. He knew the man would not last long. He often heard it commented about how tight he was...'like a virgin every time'. After a few minutes, and a shuddering release, the man pulled out and let him fall. All was quiet when he curled up underneath the crumpled sheets. There would be another one...there always was. The torment was never-ending. He knew that pain was exactly what he deserved. He was soiled, tainted, vile...dirty...

Attention all passengers: we will be arriving at Narita International Airport in approximately ten minutes. Please return to your seats, secure all carry-on luggage, and fasten your safety belts. Thank you for flying with Intercontinental Airlines.

The announcement sang through Shuichi's ears and woke him from his nightmare. Breathing a sigh of relief, he stretched his muscles and closed the notebook that lay forgotten on his lap. He remembered working on some song ideas just before he dozed off. Although it had been a long flight, his anxiety kept him awake and on edge for the first twenty or so hours. He was thankful, once again, that Hiro had reserved a first-class ticket for him, he probably would have canceled the trip if he had to sit so close to his neighbor. Stretching his slim legs he, packed his notebook into the duffel-bag at his feet and stuffed the bag in the overhead compartment. Sitting back down, he glanced out the window and received a breathtaking site of the Tokyo skyline. At least it's better than Kyoto, he thought. He was undoubtedly relieved to find that he did not have to go back to his old hometown and instead would be staying in a small apartment in downtown Tokyo, only three blocks from NG studios. A small wave of guilt surfaced when he remembered that he had not even left a note for his parents when he ran off. He had no idea what they must have thought. They were probably relieved, knowing they would not have to care for such a useless boy anymore, he thought.

The plane landed and began to discharge it's passengers roughly twenty minutes later. Shuichi waited until the other passengers were cleared before exiting himself. Making his way to the main gate, he bypassed the luggage claim, having only brought enough clothing and belongings to fill his single duffel-bag. He absolutely hated airports. There was barely enough room to breathe, much less make your way from place to place without running into anybody. Shuichi was, however, adept in avoiding people when he walked. He maneuvered towards the outermost walkways and made his way to the street unscathed. He hailed a cab and gave the driver the address to the apartment Hiro had given him.

The drive took about an hour in all and was not unpleasant, seeing as the driver was uncharacteristically quiet. Given the time to think, one thought dominated his mind. What the hell was I thinking? He was not sure of the answer, but he did know that, on some deep-down level, Hiro was important to him. Shuichi, for some reason, felt the need to stop disappointing his friend. Friend. The word seemed almost foreign to him. He was not sure why Hiro had stuck with him through all of the pessimism, self-hatred, anger and denial he exuded. Hiro did not seem repulsed by him, or threatened by him when he became hostile. No, he did not deserve such a friend.

Because of this, not only had he agreed to return to Japan, he had also agreed to put his pride on the line and attempt to be a singer for Hiro and some friend of his. The thought was incredulous. Him, a singer. Okay, so he never actually had an audience before, so he did not know how his voice would sound to others. Hell, he hasn't even sang to himself in many years. What he did know was that he found solace in writing his lyrics, and that alone may ensure employment at NG. If his voice were to fail, perhaps he could stay as a hired lyricist.

He occasionally found himself having to fight off the incessant voice that told him that this was in some way a trick, a joke...some way of hurting him. Although he felt that he did not deserve Hiro's company, he knew that Hiro warranted some degree of trust for tolerating him.

Arriving at his destination, Shuichi paid and tipped the driver and walked towards the modest brick building. Making his way up the front stairs, he was met with a uniformed doorman. Introducing himself as Shindo Shuichi, the doorman handed him the key to his apartment as he was ordered by Nakano-san. The man instructed him to the fourth floor, and told him where to locate the elevators. Following his directions, he found his apartment easily and entered. The apartment was not very large, but felt secure. Looking around, he found it was furnished with an overstuffed beige love seat and chair. There was a small coffee table in between the furniture facing a large television. The kitchen, he noticed, was already stocked with food, sparing him the need to shop immediately. To the side of the living room were two separate doors, most likely the bedroom and bathroom, which were similarly prepared with the essentials.

Tossing his bag on top of the bed, he retreated once again to the living room. He noticed that on the counter which seperated the kitched from the living room, there was a phone and answering machine. The light on the machine blinked, indicating that he had a message. Sauntering over, he pressed the button and listened to Hiro's overly-excited voice.

"Okaerinasai, Shuichi-kun! I hope your trip wasn't too horrible. Did you slept well during the flight? I hope you did because Seguchi-san is expecting all of us to meet today at four o'clock to discuss everything. Get yourself ready and I will call you around three - three-fifteen. Let me know if you want a ride, but I know how you feel about riding on my motorcycle," Hiro chuckled. There was a short pause, then he continued in a more serious tone. "I really am glad you came back, Shu. I swear I will do everything I can to protect you this time around. Don't worry about anything. Talk to you later."

The message beeped and went quiet. Shuichi glanced at the clock on the far wall. 9:12am. He decided to take a short nap before grabbing something to eat and showering. Walking towards the only window in the room, he let the warm sunlight caress is face. Closing his eyes, he fought down the burning bile that threatened to creep upwards from his stomach. Closing his eyes, he let out a slow breath and counted backwards from twenty. Ever since his talk with Hiro a week ago, the frequency of his nightmares and anxiety attacks have dramatically increased. He knew it had to do with the realization that he was going to be coming back to the very place that caused him so many bad memories. I can always leave...if things get too bad, he told himself. Just like last time. Opening his eyes, he turned away from the window and sank into the love seat. Laying down, he threw his arm over his face to shield his eyes from the sun's brightness and sighed once again.

What the hell was I thinking?

(1) Wajin - Japanese

(2) Okaerinasai - Welcome Home

A.N. With this chapter, I have pretty much summed up the events leading to the present. The following chapters will be set in the present tense, besides flashbacks and memories, of course. Once again, this is my first fanfiction and I appreciate any comments or constructive critisizm that would help me improve my writing or simply encourage me to continue. So Read and Review please!