You people are going to hate me for this….. (evil grin) I'm an evil genius! I like switching moods often. Like I started out comedy and then I didn't feel funny so it got all serious….. But as soon as I finish this one I'll do one that's comedy the whole thing! It'll probably be shorter though. Watch out for the new title: Species Bending. OOH! Exciting sounding right? But I shall revive the comedy within this story before my new one comes out. The title is intriguing, is it not? We all need to lighten up….

Ed's whole body felt like it was steaming. The burning distress tortured his fragmented soul. Before he could distribute the opening blow to Envy however, a small explosion erupted.

Dust shrouded the area, a suspenseful hanging moment of disarray hung around the musty warehouse. A familiar voice rung through the chamber, as the residue from the blast subsided.

"Stand aside Edward, and I will defeat this monster!" It wrung clearly.

Ed swore the fire inside him had just gone out cold. He was in a state of being unsure if he was dreaming, insane, or dead. Seeing this for real was out of the question. Impossible, inconceivable!

A small figure, not even taller then Ed himself emerged. "You let go of my granddaughter….." The voice hissed.

Ed heard a large clanking, thud. He was sure his brother had just stumbled in shock.

"PINAKO?!" Ed managed between breaths that made him regret living at all.

"That's right kiddo! THE PANTHRESS OF RISEMBOOL!" Pinako valiantly shouted forth.

Ed felt his eyes burning….. or something. He was sure that this was some sick, twisted play on physics.

"No type of complex science can explain this…." He thought to himself, woozy from the sudden jolt of what he was seeing.

The old woman stood in a gaudy red spaghetti strap top, and blue jean shorts. (Of course they were unfamiliar with the term "jeans" so blue denim then.) Her hair was out of the usual oval resting atop her head. Instead, it hung loosely around her back, almost completely covering her tiny frame. (The mystery unfolds!!)

Ed heard his brother moaning in distress upon again facing the terror of the wanna-be "teenage superhero" grandma. Ed was sure, like himself, that despite all the unnerved metal on their bodies that they still refused to move.

Ed then heard a sharp, high pitched ring. Pinako brandished a belt from underneath a black trench coat…. A gleaming belt of various mechanical tools.

Ed stomped his foot with the greatest of effort not to die of overexposure to this "plague" like state of Pinako. "ARE YOU JOKING?!"

"Auntie, listen to me! Al and I have tried to defeat them for years, they're tricky! Even with the whole military and advanced alchemy…. They're invincible! YOU'LL BE KILLED!"

Pinako lifted a silver, pointed tool…. Or "weapon". A screwdriver. (bum bum bum!)

Al whimpered while repeating in his head multiple times…. We're doomed, we're doomed. We are SO doomed.

She flung her arm back and then with an elegant, swift, forward motion, the screwdriver flew. It struck Envy almost squarely on the forehead. He snickered and nodded. "Bring it on, OOMPA LOOMPA,"

She hollered shrilly, her voice breaking in and out from the overuse of her aged vocal cords. Likely due to her height and light weight, she was able to scamper to him quickly, and sweep a stubby leg against envy's slender figure.

The homonculous toppled over, as Ed's jaw hung open, vulnerable to be torn off by a swaying breeze. His eyes were unwaveringly transfixed on the combat in practice before him.

Strangely, this event triggered Ed to question his whole purpose in life. Why do I want to get my body back? Huh…why do I even WANT to live now knowing this exists…?

Such an unwavering and strong you boy, questioning the will to live after seeing such explicit content makes one question their sanity, does it not? (laughs)

Once Edward snaps back into reality, Envy and Lust have fled….. Likely they have realized that they've chose then wrong dysfunctional village to invade this time.

HOW?! HOW, WHY, WHEN…?! Ed was basically in such a current state of confusion, it could be qualified as a shock induced coma.

He felt dizzy, very dizzy. His vision became blurry. Am I fainting…? DAMMIT WHY AM I FAINTING?! And why now AFTER the battle is over?

"That buzzing…. I can hear it again…." Ed thought when he was safely in the haven inside his own structure. He grimaced with annoyance. He wanted to swat it away, but was scared to be revived into a reality where grandmas wore jump suits. He decided whatever reality had in store for him it had to be more endurable this time. He boldly, let his eyelids flutter open.

That was great wasn't it? Philosophical comedy! I didn't feel depressing today! (for once) And the conclusion is coming in the next chapter! (sniffle) A goodbye to gender bender….. But the new series will be very funny! (I hope) I'll do my best. (salutes) well since you're probably convinced there's something wrong with me, you are anxious to see how I will proceed at closing the story after that….. errmmm…. "exciting" chapter. Find out soon on the final chapter of gender bender! And please…. PLEASE read the sequel Species bending as well. Thank you!