A/N: Angst is fun to write. I've been planning parts of this chapter for a while... There'll be more to it later on. Everything in this chapter is important.
Amarant wonders why night in the desert seems almost brighter than in the city. Is it because the light is natural? Because the moon can light up everything, without buildings to get in it's way?
Who knows.
He takes his time again, walking back to the cabins. He's glad for the time alone – after all the aggravation of earlier in the day, with Gilgamesh being rowdy and Lani spooking some of the shier horses, a little quiet moment is welcome.
"Fuck you!"
Doors slam in the distance, and Amarant looks around in confusion, trying to find the owner of the voice but unable to get anything out of the dark other than an echo in his mind. He hears a horse whinny back at the barn and a few kicks against wood – looks like he wasn't the only living thing to hear the swearing.
He shakes his head. It's none of his business – other than maybe pissing off the horses and some of the older ranch hands, there's no reason to go looking around for useless voices.
But the night is lit up by the moon and he can see someone moving quickly along the path away from the cabins, towards... anywhere. That's the exact direction the figure is moving, and he knows that when you're willing to go anywhere...
Moonlight hits silver hair and he changes his direction, picking up his pace.
Kuja stumbles and then falls to his knees up the path from Amarant, head hanging low and hands reaching up to claw at the sky, shouting obscenities at everything around him in a broken voice.
"Kuja!" Amarant exclaims quietly, not wanting to wake up the entire ranch but not wanting to sneak up on the other male...
Like a startled horse, the other male jerks his head up, looking around wild-eyed, trying to find Amarant who's really not trying to sneak up on him. The redhead circles a little and comes into Kuja's sight, then wishes he hadn't. The other is ragged and his hair is all over, face wet and slightly scrunched up and not at all calm and pleasant as it usually is.
"Go away!" he snarls in a broken voice, "Go away..."
"Kuja," Amarant shakes his head, "What..."
"I fucking hate you!"
The redhead blinks and then kneels in front of the other, "What happened?"
"Fuck... I just – I didn't want to, but – and I'm sorry..."
Amarant puts a hand on Kuja's shoulder, "You're not telling me shit. What happened?"
"Gilgamesh," Kuja moans, "Th... that fucker, I f-fucking hate him – I'm not fucking egotistical, I'm not fucking shallow, I'm not-"
Amarant makes a mental note to punch the other ranch hand in the mouth even as he says, "You're not, don't worry. He's a moron. Don't listen to him."
"You don't even know me," Kuja mumbles, "You don't even know me – I'm on so many fucking drugs and shit you don't even know me – I don't even know me, am I even real?"
"How could you not be real?" Amarant responds, shaking his head. "Come on... let's go back to the cabin."
"You don't know me..."
"I don't care if I don't know you. You're one of Lani's friends, and unfortunately for you that means you're one of mine as well. Don't listen to Gilgamesh. Come on..."
Kuja leans forward and grabs Amarant tightly, a fresh wave of tears coming over him.
"Hey," the redhead mumbles, feeling suddenly very awkward. He's not a people-person, damn it, why does it seem like he has to be around Kuja? He puts a hand on the other's back, "It... it's okay." What else can he say?
"I can't let go," Kuja rasps against his chest, "I just... I can't – you don't know me, why do you care, why should I care? I'm always fucking clinging on, people don't even like me but I can't just let go-"
"Don't worry about it. I don't mind. Let's go back to the cabin. We'll go home tomorrow."
"No – no, you have to work, you can't just..."
"Ah, fuck it. Cid doesn't care, and I don't need the money. Let's go."
He helps the other up and they walk side by side across the sand. "I'm sorry," Kuja rasps, and his face is still scrunched up a little and he's trying really hard not to cry.
"It's okay." Amarant feels kind of stupid saying the same thing over and over again, but it works with people, who in the end just need constant reassurance. He smirks, "I didn't know you could swear."
Kuja sighs and then shakes his head. "I try not to... It's... stupid. I just... I haven't had a lot of – I didn't mean to ruin your life," he says honestly.
Amarant raises an eyebrow, looking to the smaller male, "Ruin my life? You couldn't ruin my life if you tried. It's hard to fuck train-wrecks up anymore than they've already done themselves."
The other doesn't respond and soon they reach the cabin, Amarant pushing the door open. Lani's laying on the bed, watching the evening news in dark room – she always likes watching TV in the dark – and when she sees them, she doesn't immediately notice anything.
"Hey," she says, before squinting to get a better look, because Amarant wouldn't put his hand on Kuja's shoulder for no reason. When she sees that Kuja's on that horribly stressful verge of tears, she pushes herself off the bed and comes over to them, wrapping her arms around her friend and doing that comforting thing that Amarant could never, ever do. "What happened?"
"I'll be right back," Amarant mutters, turning and leaving the cabin, closing the door softly and wondering if he should bother doing anything. After all, it's not like he knows Kuja much.
Kuja's a lot like Lani, except he's probably more of a hassle mentally. Ah, well. Amarant should have suspected that Kuja would have something wrong, to make up for not having Lani's womanly craziness.
Still, he rubs the back of his neck and takes to walking, because he's not in the mood to deal with consolation. He's no good at it.
"Ain't never been no good," he mutters to himself, smirking.
He ends up at the cabin closest to Cid's place and so he decides to knock on the door and see how Gilgamesh is getting along. Anything that would fuck up a pretty controlled person like Kuja would have to have an effect on someone without the barriers.
But no – Gilgamesh answers it as if he knew who was on the other side, with a cocky grin and... "Not expecting me, particularly?" Amarant asks, because that cocky little smirk's been wiped right off the ranch-hand's face.
"...Nah, I wasn't. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Gilgamesh shakes his head, "Or to who, I guess. Kuja come wailin' to you?"
The hand turns and slouches into his cabin so Amarant follows, shutting the door behind him. "Could say that. What'd you do?"
"Ah, fuck," Gilgamesh waves a hand, "The fucker keeps trying to come on to me. It got real annoying, so I gave him a wakeup call, you know, 'cos I hate people who-"
Amarant grabs the front of Gilgamesh's shirt and drags him close. "Don't mess with Lani's friends," he snarls in a very quiet voice, because who needs to be loud to be menacing?
Not Amarant, according to Gilgamesh's look.
"And from what I've been seeing, he ain't the one hitting on you. Looked pretty vice-versa to me."
"Ah, fuck, Amarant, the guy looks like a chick. Can't help it, you know? Besides," Gilgamesh makes a face, "He's always so clingy. It's hard to push him away, y'know, without taking a little somethin' for the road, you know what I mean."
"No, not sure I do."
Gilgamesh laughs now, putting his hands on top of Amarant's, trying to kind of push them off of his shirt but not succeeding, "Oh, come on. A guy like that, he's not exactly one of those hard-to-get people. Tried to convert me, you know, make me jump the fence. Fuck, though... he's pretty hot, you know, for a guy."
"I'm 'bout this close to socking you in the jaw, you get that?"
"Oh, come on. He hasn't tried to fuck you yet?"
Amarant socks Gilgamesh in the jaw. He warned the fucker.
Gilgamesh stumbles back and swears loudly, putting a hand to his face and spitting blood onto the wood floor. "Shit, you asshole! Don't fuckin' maul me, just 'cos you aren't pretty enough to win Mr. Narcissist's ass in bed!"
"Do you really think insulting my appearance, of all things, is going to make me unnecessarily mad, punk?" Amarant cracks his knuckles.
"I'm getting why he's keepin' you around," the other grins, "You're like the fat chick, aren't you? Except ugly, instead."
Amarant rolls his eyes, "Oh, yes, I'm hideous, of course." He waves a hand, "What, are you trying to make me want to kill myself? Boo-hoo, some adolescent with his brain in his dick thinks I'm ugly. If we're throwing petty insults, my face isn't nearly as ugly as yours is going to be, if you fuck with my friends."
"At least girls like my face. Hell, your own mother probably doesn't even – oh, wait, that's right."
Amarant sends him one long, lingering warning look.
"Your mom's dead."
Amarant comes back to the cabin to find it still bathed in the glow of the TV and not much else, and as such, Lani again doesn't instantly notice anything.
She squints and then gets off of the floor, coming to him with a completely foreign look on her face. "What the hell happened to you?" she asks in a quiet voice, putting a hand to his chin and bringing his face down for closer inspection. "Is that blood!"
"It ain't mine," he grumbles.
"You didn't kill anyone, did you?" She doesn't ask it in jest and Amarant wonders if he really looks that bad.
"Don't think so."
"Come on, let's get you washed up, jeez..." She takes his arm and leads him into the bathroom, flicking on the light and causing him to wince.
When his eyes adjust and he manages to see again, he's surprised to find that yeah, he does look that bad. His eye is already swelling and he's got a bloody nose – hope to god it didn't break – and the left side of his face is bruising up pretty bad.
"That's going to look sexy," Lani grumbles in annoyance, opening the medicine cabinet and pulling out a first aid kit, "God damn it, Red, what'd you do?"
"Made Gilgamesh's face a lot uglier than mine."
"Defending Kuja's honor? I'm impressed, you usually don't play samurai."
Amarant rolls his eyes and winces when Lani starts cleaning his bleeding lip. "I'm not defending anyone. I just hate the punk."
"Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice..."
"Shame on me. Yeah, okay, fine. Maybe a little defending. Most of it was just sport."
Lani shakes her head and gives him a wet towel. "Clean yourself up, would you? I hope you didn't kill Gilgamesh..."
"He was still bawling when I left, so I figure he's gonna live."
Lani makes an annoyed noise. "Kuja's asleep. Try not to wake him up when you come to bed, okay?"
Amarant nods, and Lani leaves the bathroom, shutting the door softly behind her and leaving the redhead alone.
Really, Gilgamesh hadn't put up much of a fight. It figures, though – any idiot who's stupid enough to make fun of a man's dead mother really wouldn't know how to react to the violent and brutal beating they receive.
What an idiot.
Amarant cleans off his face and he doesn't look that bad now – the bruise is still developing, and by tomorrow it'll probably be dark black and blue, and they'll have to bail early because no doubt Gilgamesh will tell Cid about the "completely unprovoked attack."
The redhead sighs and leaves the bathroom, flicking off the light and heading to the bed. The TV is still on but Lani's asleep – it's just their as background noise, to keep them from getting too into their own heads. She has her arm over Kuja and Amarant strips to his boxers, slipping under the covers on the other side of Kuja. He feels kind of awkward facing the other but doesn't have the energy to roll over – Kuja's face is kind of soft but his eyes are closed a little too tightly and his mouth is in too straight a line. "You alright?" Amarant asks, quiet because he doesn't want to wake Lani back up.
"...I'm alright," Kuja sighs, finally opening an eye, before blinking and shifting an arm out from under the covers, reaching over and touching the bruise. Amarant winces so the other pulls back a little. "That doesn't look very nice at all."
"A left hook to your jaw usually isn't very nice."
Kuja nods slightly, and apologizes without saying anything, before touching Amarant's shoulder gently – like he's afraid to get hurt. Amarant hates that – everyone always assumes he's going to kick their ass for touching him.
"I'm glad you two invited me out," he mumbles, and Amarant wonders if it's a physical hurt Kuja's afraid of.
"Sorry about Gilgamesh," he responds. "I didn't know you two..."
"It's not your fault I have a shitty taste in men. Or that I'm an emotional train-wreck."
"Join the club."
Kuja smirks almost against his will, "Do I get a commemorative plate?"
Amarant chuckles and then, defying that little sane bit in his head that has been going "You Are An Idiot, Don't Do That" since day one, he puts his arm over both Kuja and Lani.
"Shut up. I'm tired from defending our honor."
Kuja looks like he wants to say something, and his eyebrows narrow like he's going to say something, but instead he just nods, and carefully lets his own hand drop against Amarant's chest. The redhead doesn't smack him around for it so he smiles and mumbles a tired "goodnight."
Amarant wonders if he should be listening to the sane bit in his head.
"You're so weird, Vivi."
Eiko Carol is not, by nature, a mean-spirited girl. She's actually one of the nicest kids in the school – if a little bossy. Vivi knows that she doesn't mean any harm when she calls him weird, and so he rightly takes no offense.
"Do you want to hang out after school?"
She also uses phrases that Vivi's only used to teenagers using, but that's another thing he doesn't hold against her. After all, ten is pretty close to thirteen, so they'll soon be teens, and she might as well practice now.
"I g-guess," he responds to her question, looking out over the yard. "I have to ask Miss Freya if it's alright..."
"You're always getting babysitted."
"I don't think that's the right word."
Eiko crosses her arms and scuffs her foot against the ground. "Whatever. I need help with my math – would you help me?"
Vivi manages a shaky smile, "You mean do it for you?"
Eiko looks aghast at the very idea, "Vivi, I would never! I've never been so offended!"
"Sorry, Eiko."
The little girl laughs and says, "Well, I guess if you're offering, I shouldn't turn it down. We have a Spanish test, remember?"
"Yeah..."
"No, you mean sí! Come on, Vivi, we should go study. You're obviously not prepared!" Never mind the fact that he has the higher grade in the class.
Vivi nods and adjusts his hat, following the skipping Eiko with cautious steps of his own.
Freya sighs and stretches, pacing across her apartment towards the ringing phone in her kitchen. She hates getting interrupted during her afternoon workout and she hates phones even more, but that's the only way people can stay in touch, nowadays.
"Crescent," she sighs with an air of someone with something much more interesting to do. She immediately gains interest, however, as Vivi's adopted father speaks up from the other end of the line. "Tonight? Oh... I have work, tonight, from six until close... No, I don't know..."
Suddenly, she gets a very sadistic, very mean idea.
"...You know, I think I might know someone who can babysit Vivi. Oh, yes, he's very trustworthy." She smirks now, trying to keep the scheme in her head and not spill it to the unwitting father, "I think I know just the person..."
Kuja has filled his phonebook with nearly one hundred people – all varying from brief acquaintances, repeated visits, friends, and relationships (past, present, and maybe future). He's very proud of his extensive list, and he tends to give out numbers faster than he gets them. Anyone who calls his cell phone is immediately added to his list of numbers, and people who know this know to call him if they need a number.
So Kuja answers his phone completely unwarily, used to the constant ring, while Amarant yells at Lani for poking his bruising face and telling her to stop switching the radio channels, damn it!
"Hello," Kuja laughs into the phone. He frowns briefly, then smiles again, "Hi, Freya!"
Amarant looks in the rearview mirror, "You actually have that crazy bitch's number?"
"...She says to let you know she heard that. And... Freya, I don't think that's a good idea – no, I don't know what he did to Vivi..."
"Oh, god," the redhead mutters, "She's still hung up on that?"
"...He did? No, he wouldn't. He hit him?"
"I didn't hit him!"
"Almost hit him? Wow, really? I guess that would be a fair – but, still, don't you think trusting... You want me to suffer, too? No, I like Vivi, but..."
"What is she trying to do?" Lani asks, raising an eyebrow.
"I suppose... hold on, one moment Freya." Kuja puts the phone against his shoulder and says, "She wants Amarant and I to babysit Vivi."
"Is she insane?"
"Quite possibly. What should I say, Amarant?"
Amarant looks into the rearview mirror, and then shrugs. "I don't know. Whatever – not like I'm much good with a kid I nearly hit... Whatever you want to do."
Kuja nods, and then lifts the phone back up. "Freya? I guess we can. Tonight? Um... Yes. Sure. Text me the address, I don't have a pen with me, alright? ...Lovely. You owe me one – no, not Amarant, just me."
"That's not fair."
"Shut up, Amarant," Kuja drawls, before finishing with a fluid, "Alright, text me, bye," and snapping the phone shut easily. "Looks like you should put on your child-friendly face, Amarant, dear."
The redhead rolls his eyes, "Brilliant. Why did she pick us out?"
"She picked you out because she's vindictive. I'm just coming along because Vivi knows me. Really, you picked the wrong time to nearly run over a little kid."
"I can't help it if the chick's a psycho! Fucking hell," he groans, "Why are women so insane?"
"Hey!" Lani exclaims.
"You aren't trying to refute the fact," Kuja deadpans, raising an eyebrow at the girl.
"Well, I'm never hanging out with all men ever again," the girl pouts, crossing her arms and sinking into her seat.
"What are you talking about?" Amarant asks, "You're dating a woman, you should be agreeing with me."
Lani rolls her eyes and reaches over to mess with the stereo some more. Amarant yells and she responds in kind – Kuja sits back and tries to think happy thoughts.
bang bang.