Title: Shattered Innocence

Author: DnKS-giRLs

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Kanda-Allen

Disclaimers: if indeed this is ours, wouldn't it be called 'claimer' then instead of 'DIS-claimer'? You can tell by that what it means right?

Warning: major OOCness issued! And super sappy and over-romantic and… well… you can say it's a modified soap opera… duh… btw… forgot one thing, it's (gasp) MPreg!

Chapter 4 - Back

His boots echoed loudly as they made contact with the concrete tile floor underneath his feet. The corridor was dark, as Kanda Yuu observed with his piercing gaze, and it too was empty. He did not expect to meet anyone, though, not in that kind of hour. It was just the very beginning of morning, a perfect time to sleep in or, if circumstances demanded the opposite, a time to take at least a decent breakfast before work.

Breakfast, he snorted. He even had not yet had his share of food since approximately thirty six hours prior. Damn mission, he grumbled slightly as he walked faster, somehow determined to give his report as soon as possible and have a warm bath. His mission was exhausting, if he could not say that it was hell in its purest form. He had spent over one month in that depressing town to search for a certain general. Just when he was about to go back, a report came, saying that an innocence had been spotted somewhere around that area and he was hoped to attain it which required him to spend some more weeks there. Even after that had been finished, Kanda realized that it was his pure luck that he managed to get free before they could appoint another mission to him.

But at least he did find and get the innocence…

Kanda cursed under his breath as that thing brought back some memories to his mind. He did not deny that he had tried to forget the memories of that certain incident happened between him and Allen in their last mission, but somehow he could not. It was as if his subconscious mind did not let him forget that easily. He admitted that even after many times had passed, his dreams were still plagued with a certain white haired youth who suddenly claimed a permanent spot in his heart.

He quickly switched his mind to another subject as he started to have the memories came flooding into him. Eyeing the report he had in his hands, Kanda moved his legs further down the corridor, only to stop at a certain sound coming from somewhere along his left side.

He scrutinized the seemingly-empty hall from which he heard the sound coming. It was not stopped, rather it became louder. When he put more effort in hearing that, Kanda became aware that it sounded like someone who was terribly sick. Kanda had already obtained a frown on his forehead by the moment he decided to investigate the sound. Even though he should not care less, but his heart felt that he had to investigate that sound.

He walked out from his current path to observe the dark corridor on his left. As far as he knew, that part of the head quarters was not the place commonly visited by anyone. He could see the place was a deserted one, just a small broken corridor that lead to a single room on the far end of the hall. The sound, Kanda noticed, was coming from there. So without further ado, he pushed the door open to see what was behind it.

He was surprised beyond reason when he found out that it was none other than Allen Walker whom he spotted in the room. The room turned out to be an abandoned bathroom and there he was standing alone, his head bowed low above a sink. Kanda could see how pale he was, how sick he seemed, and how he tried to avoid his gaze. Even when he still stared at him, Kanda saw Allen had another wave of sickness and he was vomiting again to the sink. The sight was so heartbreaking and yet he could not think of anything he could do that time. When Allen finished being sick, Kanda watched him washing the remnants of vile from his face. Afterwards he collapsed to the cold bathroom floor and finally Kanda found strength in his feet to approach Allen's slumped figure.

"You fine?" he said with a frown though he knew Allen was everything but fine.

The boy only glared at him and made an attempt to stand up. Kanda knew that his aid was uncalled for, so he let Allen stand up on his own. He stumbled a bit, finally regaining his balance by leaning on the bathroom wall. His clothes and hair was a mess and his face was as pale as paper sheet.

"What's wrong with you?" Kanda asked and he meant not only about the other's sickness but also his cold gesture toward him. He saw Allen kept his silence and he even attempted to walk past him without answering his question. Now, that was too much. Forgetting his report, he dropped the papers to the ground and approached Allen.

Kanda grabbed the boy's right arm to prevent him from going away and said, "I'm talking here!"

Allen only bit his lower lip and tried to release himself from Kanda's grip but he was too weak to do that. He struggled and looked really desperate when he still could not manage to pry himself loose from Kanda. Kanda himself made sure that his grip was enough to hold the other there but not too strong to actually hurt him.

"Now, care to tell me what is wrong with you?" he asked.

His heart flinched when he saw Allen's face raised and he eyed him with an icy glare that matched well with his cold tone as he said, "It is not your business."

Kanda unconsciously tightened his grip a bit, "I just saw you throwing up like crazy before my eyes and you said it wasn't my business?" he hissed.

Allen suddenly found his power back and snapped Kanda's hand that was gripping his. His voice was near to a shriek when he said, "What do you care about me anyway?"

Kanda surely did not expect such outburst to come from Allen. He watched in pure shock at the boy. That was for the first time he ever saw Allen acted that way. But when he saw Allen's body swayed and how his hand tightly gripped his head, he spontaneously caught the frail body before it fell to the ground. He noticed how thin Allen felt in his arms. He knew that Allen had always been slim but he never knew that his body was supposed to feel that light.

"You're sick," he said. It was more of a statement rather than a question. Allen was sick, Kanda could see that. He saw the cold sweat that coated Allen's forehead; he detected how cold Allen's skin felt under his touch. He was no longer the warm happy boy he had known so far and the realization saddened him far greater than what he was supposed to be.

Allen was mumbling something under his breath that sounded like his attempt to resist being touched by Kanda. But Kanda did not have any intention to release his hold to the boy. He managed to straighten Allen up and he finally sensed that his help was no longer being rejected, though he could not figure out whether it was because Allen had somehow accepted him or he was simply too weak to do otherwise.

"I'll take you to Komui, let's check what's happening with you," he stated firmly.

"No!" Allen shouted and once again tried to run away from him.

"No offence, bean sprout!" he said as he managed to drag Allen with him, half pulling half pushing him along the way. Allen was still struggling in his arms. He even gave a few light punches to his chest. It took a great deal of patience dealing with Allen at that moment and Kanda was taken aback by the fact that he had not lost any of the very little bit patience he had in him. Usually if he was being faced with such condition, he would just leave the person and let him suffer in peace, but he just could not did that now, no matter what reason he had in his mind.

"Let go!" Allen said. His struggle suddenly became more aggressive and Kanda cursed mentally as his right feet was being stomped on by the boy. When Allen managed to bite his hand that was encircling his shoulder, Kanda had had enough. Without further word, he caught the other's waist. Concerned not with the sound of protest the boy made, Kanda slung that slim body over his left shoulder and carried him down the hall.

"Just be obedient for this once, bean sprout, it's for your own good!" he said.

"Let me go, now!" Allen said with his fist banging on Kanda's back.

"No!" Kanda replied with gritting his teeth.

"Let me go or I'll…"

Kanda was surprised when he sensed that the banging was suddenly stopped. Allen's body tensed under his grip and he released a suppressed gasp. This too was not missed by the taller boy. He halted his step, worry seeping through his body as he asked.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Hurt…" he heard Allen whispered between his raged breaths. "My… chest… my stomach, they're… hurt…"

Kanda remembered the wound Allen had on his chest during their previous mission and he symbolically smacked his head for not remembering it earlier. Slowly, he readjusted the boy's position so now he was carrying him before his chest in a bridal-style. Allen did not pull any attempt to resist that time, which he took as a measure for the boy's exhaustion and pain. Gently he laid Allen's head on his shoulder as his two hands supporting the light weight of Allen's body.

"I've told you that I didn't want to see you still wounded when I came back," Kanda grunted.

"You only said that you did not want to see me still in the infirmary room when you got back," Allen countered.

Kanda did not have any retort to that. He chose to remain silent and quicken his pace. His mouth had become a very thin line when Allen brought his two palms to cover his mouth. He watched in concern when Allen retched again though that time, nothing came out from his mouth. It seemed that he had emptied his stomach during his session of vomiting in the bathroom earlier.

"We're almost there," he said to Allen who, he noticed, had had his face dropped into three shades paler than usual. "Still hurt?"

Allen did not reply, which made him even more anxious. He was relieved only when he saw the door leading into Komui's office just a few feet away from him. Without knocking first, he managed to kick the door open and surprise anyone who was currently behind the door.

"Komui, I need your help, and I mean now!" he said without any greeting first. His eyes swept the room and saw it was only occupied by Komui and Rinali at the time being. It seemed that they were having their morning coffee together. The said brother and sister could only stared at him with large eyes as he suddenly entered the room in such a harsh manner, but soon Komui regained his composure and gasped.

"My dear God… Kanda, what's wrong with Allen?" he shouted, noticing for the first time the boy Kanda carried in his arms.

"I don't know," Kanda said. He lowered Allen's body to the sofa and carefully deposited him there. The boy had fallen asleep somewhere during their trip, his hair was spilled over his face and Kanda could not resist his hand from removing some of the strands of hair from Allen's eyes. Suddenly realizing his action, he stopped his hand and continued his explanation. "I found him throwing up and collapsing on me earlier so I brought him here. I thought you might know what's wrong with him."

Komui sighed heavily. He approached Allen's side and examined his pulse. By reading from Komui's expression, Kanda knew that the result was not good.

"He's always like this, suddenly throwing up and losing consciousness, but we can't figure out what's the cause," Komui said, while tilting Allen's head so he was in better position to breathe. "Oh, well, maybe I'll examine his innocence; there might be something there, after all that's the only field we haven't checked yet. Kanda, if you don't mind, would you and Rinali wait outside? And, Rinali, I'm very sorry but it seems we have to continue our chat other time."

"It's fine, brother," Rinali smiled. But she too seemed very worried. "Allen will be fine, right?"

"He will," Komui answered. Feeling satisfied with her brother's answer, Rinali tugged on Kanda's sleeve, motioning the boy to follow her outside. But it looked as if Kanda did not notice this. His gaze was fixed to Allen's sleeping form and he seemed lost in his own thoughts. He finally snapped out from whatever thoughts he had when he felt Rinali calling him.

"What?" he asked, turning his head to the girl.

"I said, let's go out, we could do nothing by being here," Rinali repeated her words.

"Right…" Kanda said. He gave another look to Allen before he exited the room with Rinali. When they were outside, Rinali closed the door and just after the door clicked shut, Kanda voiced out his thoughts.

"Did Komui just say that… that sprout had always been like this?" he asked.

Rinali sighed and she turned her head to face Kanda.

"Yes… it started some days after he got back from his latest mission with you. That's why he has never appointed to do any mission ever since," Rinali explained. Hearing that, Kanda's brow furrowed.

"Is that because of his wounds he got that time?" he asked, remembering how bad Allen's wounds were.

"As far as I know, no. They have healed almost completely now," Rinali said. "I don't know much, though. I left the head quarters just two weeks after you and just came back a few days ago. I got the majority of what I've told you from my brother."

Kanda did not ask further. They fell into silence, but suddenly, Rinali spoke again.

"Kanda…" she said. "I'm sorry if this by any mean offends you but I just wanted to know…What happened during your mission with Allen? He looks… different after he got back from it…"

Kanda felt his chest tightened at the question. What really happened, he thought, he even did not know. What he knew was how he felt guilty about it, guilty toward Allen because he had done something unforgivable to him. No matter how he agonized over that matter now, things would never change.

"Nothing," he said. Yes, it was simply nothing, he thought bitterly. After all, Allen had said that he understood when he asked him to forget. He asked him, only him, since he felt like he would never able to forget.

"Nothing?" Rinali asked.

"Nothing," he stated again. He suddenly remembered about those reports he left in the bathroom earlier and was glad that he had a reason to leave the place. "I need to get my reports now, excuse me."

Kanda had only managed to walk five steps when he was stopped by the sound of Rinali calling him.

"Kanda," the girl said, making him stop in his track though he did not look back. "Do you really care for him?"

He let that question linger in his mind for some time. Did he really care for Allen, he thought. He knew he cared for him, but how much he did not know.

He nodded, thinking of the best way to give his answer. Finally he raised his face again and glanced back to Rinali. He settled on just saying, "Please inform me if anything happens to him."

He saw Rinali smiled and without her telling anything, he knew that she would gladly do the thing he just asked for. Indirectly he implied that he did care for the boy and he knew that Rinali caught that. He turned his head back and resumed his pace to retrieve his report. But even though his body was walking further and further away from Komui's office, part of his mind refused to leave there, along with a certain white-haired boy whose face seemed to always haunt him in each of his every step.

- end chapter 4 -

(A/N: This time we'd like to make a confession… actually, people who are collaborating in the making of this fic are not… all… girls… Yeah, that's right, some of our (guy) friends took their share in creating this fic… at least they indeed gave suggestions of how to write this fic. Tell you the truth, the idea of the first two chapters mostly came from them… ahahaha… so, well, thanks guyz… And the fourth chapter is here… this chapter is fun to write… why? Uh, it's because torturing Allen always feels great. Oh yes… (dreaming) oh well, we are still craving for some reviews. Mind giving us any? And also thanks to those who have read and reviewed or merely read without reviewing or reviewed without reading… wait… that can't be done, right... anyway, thanks! We love you all!)