Not Like This – Chapter 7
"It's awesome" Dean was gaping and Sam couldn't stop the grin on his face becoming a fully fledged smile "I – I never expected it to be this big"
"It's the Grand Canyon Dean" Sam turned to look at his brother "Why do you think they called it that?"
"I just never expected this Sam" Dean moved a little closer to the edge and breathed in the fresh mountain air "I just never imagined"
"It is beautiful Dean" Sam slung an arm around his brother's shoulder and was pleasantly surprised when it was allowed to rest there; no attempt to shrug it off; no snarky remark "It is beautiful"
Sam could feel his head start to itch and he lifted his free hand and took off the baseball cap he was wearing. He let his fingers scratch across his head and sighed in instant relief. Dean watched him for a moment, a tiny smile playing across his lips "Looking good Sammy" was all he said.
Sam knew he looked better. His skin was brown now instead of white and even his loosest jeans felt a little tight. He no longer felt tired or ill, he felt more like himself, more like the old Sam and he knew that he had his brother to thank for that. He lifted his hand to his head again and let his fingers run through the hair that was growing there. It had grown again and now was a little longer than Deans. He could feel the wind whipping through it and he looked at the baseball cap in his hand; he would never need it again.
"I guess we should think about checking out" Dean's voice was soft, gentle "I'm thinking maybe its time to get back on the road again"
Sam felt his insides twist a little and he swallowed hard; It had taken a long time to let Dean persuade him to stop hunting and take a little R & R, but once the decision had been made, he had decided to make the best of it. They had visited Florida, spent hours on sunny beaches and even taken a detour to Disneyland. They had camped on the edge of the Everglades, watched the sunset in the Blue Ridge Mountains and taken a tram ride in San Francisco. Sam couldn't remember when he had last been so happy and now he didn't want it to end. He smiled, wryly, to himself; why had he been so reluctant to stop? Initially he had felt incredibly guilty, telling himself he couldn't escape his destiny, but now he just felt content and he wished that he could go back to the motel room, cut off his hair and start again. He looked across at Dean, trying to read the expression on his brother's face.
Dean could see the doubt, the fear in Sam's eyes and he felt a deep sadness that he had been the one to put those expressions there. They both stood on the edge of a precipice; ready to fly or to fall; He moved closer to his brother, leaning into the arm around his shoulder so that the casual embrace became a hug "You know we have to go back don't you?" he put his own arm around Sam's waist and squeezed "We need to go back now Sam – it's time"
They stood for a moment; eyes fixed on the vast expanse in front of them, both wonderful and frightening in its infinity. They stood in each other's warm embrace, two fragile humans against a world of evil, a world that could reach out and take them at any time; a world that could separate them for eternity; a world that could shatter and leave them unable to pick up the pieces. Dean finally broke the embrace, giving Sam one last hug "I'm glad we did this" he whispered "I'm glad you didn't die in that hospital – I'm glad that you're my brother" he swallowed, avoiding another chick-flick moment; another declaration of love; Dean had said it once and might never say it again, but it was there and it was more tangible, more real than any other emotion he had ever felt. Sam turned and smiled at his brother, a wide, genuine dimpled smile, his white teeth flashing
"Yeah me too dude" he turned and began to walk back to the Impala, its black exterior shining in the slowly setting sun "Let's go – we've got work to do"
Fin