Well, dude-a-facation! I can't believe I'm typing at 2:22 AM. Dudeness! Well, remember what I said about the whispers and thinking, it doesn't apply here, but it does in the next one. I don't own nuthin' 'cause if I did, Sakura and Ino would be dead, Gekko (the coffing proctor) and Dosu wouldn't be dead, Rock Lee would be Hokage, and Orochimaru would be supreme ruler of all except Konahagakure. (dudeness, that's a mouthful!) So, enjoy!
"What's the Deal?" with your host, Kakashi Hatake! (cue theme music) With our special guest, the Paranoia Agent, who will be taking part in our Question Session today! (crowd cheers and claps)
Kakashi: Hello and welcome to my show! (dude backstage: You're sussposed to say0 Kakashi: I am not!) Again, good news! Our stage has been fully repaired- (a light fell backstage) well, almost. The bad news, the Hokage's cat, Cosmo, has been murdered by Sesshomaru. (crowd moans) But let's get on the show! Please welcome the Paranoia Agent, Lil' Slugger! (crowd claps)
Lil' Slugger: (skates around the stage before sitting down, grinning at the crowd) The pleasure's all mine. (started to grin straight at Hinata, who started to shiver)
Kakashi: Right then, on the questions. Naruto?
Naruto: Who me?
Kakashi: You usually have the first question-
Sasuke: Is Lil' slugger you're real name?
Lil' Slugger: Actually, I'm an entity without a name of which you can speak verbally, so I adopted that name. (still grinning at Hinata)
Hinata: (not looking at him directly) Why... are you called... the Paranoia Agent?
Lil' Slugger: Because I cure the paranoid, like you. And I can name some others.
Shikamaru: Do you get paid for work?
Lil' Slugger: No, but I get pleasure in what I do, so I require no payment.
Kankuro: How do you carry on your job?
Lil' Slugger: I'll show you-
Kakashi: No, that won't be necessary! Right, any more questions-
Tenten: What kind of weapons or gagdets do you use?
Lil' Slugger: This. (holds up a golden, warped bat)
Neji: A bat?! What could you possibly do with- WHAM!! (Neji fell unconsious onto the floor)
Lil' Slugger: (standing behind Hinata's seat) You're paranoid, aren't you?
Kakashi: Stop him!
All of the jonin tried to stop him, but he just kept whacking them left and right. For the home viewer: We are experiencing techinical difficulties.
5 min. later
Everyone has setteled down, 6 chunin and genin, along with 18 jonin, were hit by the chaotic Agent. To refrain him from hitting anyone else, they tied him down, put a straight jacket on him, took his bat, chained him down, and Kakashi used the Fanged pursuit jutsu to hold him down. Kakashi, with a broken nose and a fractured wrist, tried to continue the show.
Kakashi: (holding his nose to stem the bleeding) Well there's no need to show the clip to see how well he does his job.
Sasuke: Yeah, we got a first hand account. (rubbing his bruised shin)
Kakashi: Ok, let's find out more about his victims-
Naruto: (standing up) My name is Naruto Uzumaki-
Kakashi: Not us. His first victims.
Naruto: Oh. (sat back down)
Lil' Slugger: Where to begin. Heh heh heh, I believe one of my favorites was that punk imitator of mine.
Kakashi: There are imitators?!
Lil' Slugger: Yeah, he thought he could be me. But no one can be me.
Kakashi: I see. So earlier you said that you weren't real.
Lil' Slugger: True, I was created out of the guilt and lies by one Tsukiko Sagi. Mind you, I even attacked her. If it wasn't for that damn dog and that idiot Radar Man, she would be dead right now. (started to smile again)
Kakashi:
I see. And how many victims of paranoia have you "cured?"
Lil'
Slugger: Well, not counting the ones here (heh heh heh) I say
about... 8. Give or take a few. (still smiling)
Kakashi: Riiiight. Any more questions?
Silence. Then Gaara's hand raised.
Kakashi: Yes?
Gaara: Do you- (looked at a slip of paper) can you transform?
Lil' Slugger: (started to smile devilshily as his eyes glowed a brighter gold) Heh heh heh, No. 1,2, or 3?
Kakashi: (sensing danger) Look what time-
Gaara: (looked again at the paper) 3.
Lil' Slugger: Before I show you, let's get rid of a few things, shall we? (he started to grow, breaking off the chains and straight jacket)
Kakashi: Well, that about wraps up the show (getting his Lightining Blade ready) See ya next time- Oh my God! What is he?!? Run! Call in the remaining jonin!
Lil' Slugger: My bat, please? (snatched it from Kiba and hit him through the wall)
Kakashi: Take this! (shot it at Lil' Slugger but he just shifted out of the way) Hopefully, I'll still have a show next time. Shadow Clone Jutsu!
Lil' Slugger: I assure you, there won't be a next show. (hit Kakashi and started to swing even harder at the others)
Oh don't listen to Lil' Slugger. I assure you, there will be a next show. And the guests will be...uh...uhh...uhhh...Marik and Bakura! Kakashi and the guys at "What's the Deal" need time to heal and get the set repaired. (In reality, I need time for ideas, so to keep ya'll interested, I'll start this series using Kindom Hearts peeps. So, please be patient and I promise, the next episode will not dissapoint. Love the reviews, keep 'em coming!