Title: Shattered Innocence

Author: DnKS-giRLs

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Kanda-Allen

Disclaimers: If we own them, we would make their child appeared in D.Gray-Man

Warning: OOC-ness, fluffiness, sappiness, Mpreg-ness (?) all in one.

Chapter 13 – Calm before another Storm

People could hope, but Fate always had its own way of doing things. That fact was well known to every living people on earth, and it too applied for the people in the Central Headquarters. And they were being reminded of that crucial fact by some certain events regarding a person they fondly called Allen. After so long they had been trapped with Allen's irrational self, it was only natural if they hoped that they would have their own peace of minds again, given the fact that Kanda had already come back and got together with his spouse. They thought that with Kanda being on Allen's side, there would be no big commotion ensuing in the headquarters. They forgot that Kanda and Allen both have temperament and behavior that always made them trapped in such commotion with or without their awareness. But their blessed neglect of the matter soon came into awareness after some rather unpleasant things happened.

Indeed, they no longer had to deal with Allen's constant whining or his ridiculous demands. However, now they had to deal with not only one, but two more terrifying presence named Kanda Yuu and Cross Marian who seemed wanting to rip each other's head off since the very first time they laid eyes on one another. Cross, upon seeing the one who impregnated his student, glared icily at Kanda. And Kanda, who was not the one to back up from a challenge, glared back at him with the same intensity. The fact that Kanda was kissing Allen when Cross happened to pass on them really did nothing to help the situation.

"So, I believe you are Kanda Yuu, correct?" Cross asked, or it was much appropriate to be described as stated, with an icy tone.

"Yes," Kanda answered. "And I believe you are his master?"

"You are quite informed."

"Hn," Kanda paused before he continued. "I heard from Allen that you like to torture him in the past, Sire, can I believe that as true?"

Allen, being the one who watched them and the one who acted as the object of Kanda and Cross' conversation, gulped. He did not know what to do, and his heart pounded with fear. He loved them both, though in different ways, and seeing them confronted each other because of him made him feel guilty and yet he felt quite flattered. Still, he thought, they were not supposed to end up glaring at each other like that. The aura around them both felt very tensed and homicidal until Allen could almost see some dark clouds forming above their heads.

"Um, Yuu…" Allen said after he gained his courage to speak even when there was such heavy tension between Kanda and Cross. "It's okay, really… let's leave what's in the past, okay? So… um, please try to get along with each other…?"

Allen saw Kanda frowning at his bidding and then he faced Cross again after a few moment of silence, still with the same icy glare. When he did so, Cross was looking at Kanda with a peculiar look and he stared at him from head to toe.

"Hey, you good-for-nothing student," Allen jumped when Cross suddenly addressed him with that name. "By all the things holy, I know that you're so beautiful and girly but how, in the name of God, could you possibly be topped by a womanlike male like him?!"

Allen blushed furiously and Kanda smirked upon hearing that particular comment.

"Would you like to know, Sir?" Kanda asked with a smug face. "And maybe I can also show you how this 'womanlike male', as you have so kindly called me, actually deflowered your 'good-for-nothing student'."

Allen wanted to shout at Kanda to shut up, but before he did so, a finder called Cross. "Uh, General Cross," the finder said with trembling voice. Poor man, Allen thought, he must be scared to death talking to his master. "There's a message coming from a lady named Cecilia for you."

Cross perched up when he heard the name 'Cecilia'. She must be one of Cross' lover, Allen thought. He quickly walked away from Kanda and Allen after saying, "I will talk to you again later."

And so he left, throwing a package wrapped nicely with red wrappings and white bows in the process, which was soon caught by Allen. Allen frowned when he caught the package. There was a card stuck to the package and Allen read it.

"To my idiotic student and his imbecile spouse, this is a gift from Yuko, my lover in Japan. Make sure that Allen, as my pregnant student, wears this occasionally when he is still in his pregnancy as a tribute for Yuko's work. Ask Rinali if you did not know how to wear this gift. And Allen, I will take further actions if I see you not wearing it."

Allen's frown was getting deeper when he read the last words from Cross. He shuddered inwardly when he thought of what 'further actions' that his master meant if he didn't wear his gift, whatever thing it was. That alone was terrifying. But when he imagined what would happen if Kanda tried to protect him from Cross' 'further action', his fear was only intensified to its maximum degree.

"What do you think it is?" Kanda asked.

Allen shrugged. They took turn in guessing what the gift inside Cross' package was when they returned to their room. Their guesses were ranging from jewelry, which was soon diminished without second thought since the possibility of the Millennium Earl being a saint was higher than the possibility of Cross giving them such a precious gift, to things that could not make them asleep peacefully at night. And so, to answer their curiosity on what was actually inside the package, Allen opened the package when they were already inside their room. He opened it quite swiftly yet still with extra caution, fearing on what was waiting inside it. When he saw what was inside, he gasped.

The gift from Cross turned out to be a black clothes made out of silk. The clothes were embroidered with red butterflies, little at the top part and getting bigger at the bottom part. The clothes were accompanied with something similar like a belt, which was colored with flaming red, matched well with the butterflies' embroidery in the clothes.

His teacher was correct in guessing that he did not know how to wear those luxurious clothes. He even did not know what the clothes were called. He never knew much about clothes in Japan, and it was quite a shame for him, since his spouse was Japanese. He realized and felt that he should learn about his spouse's country more.

"Yuu, do you know the name of this type of clothes?" Allen asked.

Kanda, who kept silent when Allen opened the package, answered, "It's a yukata."

Then, Allen remembered what his teacher had said, 'I think that that Kanda of yours could appreciate something more like a…yukata'

And Allen blushed furiously. He did not know how the clothes would look on him, but remembering his master's suggestions, he felt embarrassed without knowing exactly why. Kanda, on the other hand, seemed to be intrigued when he saw Allen's gesture at his mentioning what the clothes were called.

"Yuu," Allen said after a few moments. "You did not… cannot possibly want me to wear this… right?"

It seemed that something had finally struck Kanda and then he smirked rather evilly. "What's wrong? Do you have something against yukata?"

Allen maintained his blush. "Uh, not really…"

Kanda's expression told Allen that he didn't believe Allen's explanations. "Well then, shall I call Rinali here to help you wear that?"

"Umh, but… It seemed to be so girly and all…"

"You have already been wearing that dress for quite some time now; I don't think that it would be a matter for you to wear that," Kanda said with an exasperated look. In that statement, Allen could smell Kanda's eagerness to see him in that yukata. "I'll call Rinali now… She should be in Komui's office."

Rinali then was called and she was so excited to help Allen wearing his new yukata. Allen just grumbled when he was helped by Rinali to wear the said clothes. He did not try to resist like the first time Komui made him wear his taffeta dress. He was only resisting that time since he feared what Kanda's reaction would be, but now, since he knew that Kanda was quite eager to see him with his yukata, he felt that he shouldn't resist. Of course, his other reason to wear it was also due to his fear of Cross' 'further actions'.

After quite a long and torturous moment in Allen's behalf, Rinali was finally done in helping him with his yukata. She squealed in delight when they're done and she asked Allen to try to walk with his new yukata on.

It felt difficult for Allen to walk because the clothes, yukata - or whatever it was called - Allen thought, were quite restricting for him. He was also quite afraid that the bottom part of his clothes would fall if he tried to walk faster. Beside that, the yukata he wore has a very low décolletage that was cut on the base of his neck. It made him felt quite exposed. And for once, he really missed his dress.

Rinali ushered him to come out so Kanda could see him. He bit his lower lip and he walked out slowly. Just like when he first wore his dress, he felt uncomfortable of being seen by the outside world with girls' clothes on. It felt weird.

When he finally came out and saw Kanda, he lowered his head quickly. He felt really embarrassed with Kanda's gaze fixed on him. He felt even more embarrassed when he somehow felt that Kanda was gazing him from top to toe.

His embarrassment was intensified when Rinali asked Kanda, "What do you think? He looked so good in this, isn't he?"

Allen glanced at Kanda and he saw that Kanda just smirked proudly as a response. He blushed at seeing it.

"You're really lucky, Kanda…" Rinali sighed happily for him. "But you must be careful, there are not many roses blooming here and the male population in this headquarters would be dangerous for him, you know?"

"I'll kill anyone who tries to look wrongly at him," he said while his gaze never left Allen.

Rinali seemed to finally notice Kanda's gaze at Allen and then she said with a glee, "You looked like a wolf, Kanda..."

Kanda smirked evilly. "Is it that obvious?"

Allen's face grew redder.

"Well then, I'll leave you both…" Rinali smiled. "Have fun!"

"Hn." Was the only response Rinali get. Allen felt somewhat anxious beneath Kanda's gaze after Rinali had left.

"Now, Allen… will you be a good boy and come to me?" Kanda said with a somewhat breathy voice that Allen found so sexy.

And who was he to refuse his spouse? Allen thought with an inward smirk as he walked to Kanda's embrace.

Not long after, Allen, now being in his new yukata, walked through the headquarters with Kanda by his side. And he was just too cute and beautiful for his own good. Just like Cross said, it put his 'utmost sensuality' out.

So, the people in the headquarters had to face quite a chaos with that fact. They could not resist giving a glance to Allen, but Kanda was just too possessive. Everyone who dared to glance at him in a wrong way with a wrong desire was met by a fierce glare that promised sudden death to the people who dared to go against it. Initially, it was actually worse than that. Allen could only shudder in fear when he remembered how his spouse almost spilled blood literary in the headquarters just because there was one stupid guy who touched his cheek. With a lot of persuasion, he was able to prevent the killing from taking place and Kanda was now settled with just glaring at anyone who came upon them with some perverted glint in their eyes, even Komui became one of his victims in this matter.

But that was not the only event that was ensued in the headquarters. Allen, being someone pregnant, started to crave for foods when Kanda was in the mission. Usually the finders who were at task to take care of Allen also managed to fulfill Allen's craving. But now, not long after Kanda arrived, he was the one who was going to fulfill Allen's craving. It was all started a week after Kanda's birthday.

Allen wanted to surprise Kanda for his birthday on the 6th of June. With that in mind, he slipped out of bed in the morning to prepare his present. He already had something in his mind on what to give for his dark-haired spouse. And thus to carry out his plan he had to wake up really early before Kanda, not a hard task to do, though, given the fact that Kanda was never really a morning person himself. True, during the first trimester of his pregnancy Allen always found Kanda wake up so early to help him facing his morning sickness, something that always reminded him how adorably sweet his husband was, but as for now he had already gone beyond that excruciating moments, Kanda could have his mornings back. And when Kanda did wake up early, like what he found that morning, he would still be much disorientated that nothing good could come out from him.

"I'll accompany you out," Kanda said with a sleepy tone when Allen was still dressing up.

Allen smiled at Kanda's concern. He approached him and kissed him softly. "I'll be okay," he said. "No one would dare to do something towards me, since they knew you would really kill them if they dare to do it."

"Where are you going?"

"Kitchen."

"Craving?" Kanda slurred with half-lidded eyes

Allen chuckled in seeing his husband failing attempt to keep being awake, "Not really."

Kanda stared at him. And then, he stuffed his head back to his pillow. "I'll be there in 30 minutes."

Allen told himself that 30 minutes was enough for cooking a bowl of soba, so he smiled at Kanda and said, "I'll be waiting there."

Kanda nodded. Allen quickly went to the kitchen then he rushed anyone he could spot to help him preparing Kanda's present in the form of a bowl of soba, his spouse's favorite food. He never before prepared a meal for someone with so much passion like he did that time and when he saw the result of his job, he beamed in delight. It was perfection.

Thankfully, Kanda came to the kitchen not long after it was finished and still steaming hot. He frowned when he saw Allen behind the kitchen counter, wearing his usual 'evil-frilly-pink' apron. Allen saw Kanda's gaze linger appreciatively on his new feature before asking, "What are you doing there, Allen?"

"I'm cooking."

"For?"

Allen smiled and brought a tray with his cooking on it. "It's for you, Yuu!" he said happily. "Happy birthday!"

Kanda's eyes widened momentarily. Allen almost laughed at his shocked expression but he managed not to do it.

He then saw Kanda flashed his rare smile and he couldn't help to grin widely. "Thank you," Allen heard Kanda say softly to him. "I never thought that my birthday would be this meaningful for me."

Allen blushed. He felt his heart fluttering with butterflies upon hearing Kanda's words.

After a moment or so, he followed Kanda to the canteen, hanging his apron in the kitchen wall on his way. When he was sitting in front of Kanda, the long haired man was eating the soba with enthusiasm. It was rather endearing to see Kanda, who usually was acting with a cool demeanor, eating his cooking with enthusiasm that he rarely showed. He felt that cooking soba for Kanda was an accurate choice for his birthday present.

"How does it taste?" Allen said timidly.

Kanda answered with his soft gaze, "It's good."

Allen grinned widely, not trying to conceal his happiness. He said, "Well then, I'll cook for you whenever I have time."

"I'll look forward for it."

And so, Allen started to cook just for Kanda. It was a privilege he only let his husband to have and it made almost all the male population in the headquarters more jealous at Kanda for seeing their idol was so intimate with him.

But that condition didn't last too long. It became a taste of hell for Kanda when one day Allen said to Kanda, "Yuu… I have been cooking for you for almost a week, but I never taste your cooking…. Could you cook for me and our child?"

Kanda raised an eyebrow but he complied anyway. He refused to wear an apron though; Jerry was not the one who could stand his glare when he refused to wear it. He never knew that his single time of cooking would lead to a condition far greater than hell.

"Yuu!!!" Allen shouted after his umpteenth serve of soba. He saw Kanda looked at him with an exhausted look, but he still came and asked, "What is it?" nevertheless. Allen felt guilty upon seeing Kanda like that, but it felt like his craving had won over his guilt, and so, he stated his request with his 'I really love you so I need you to do something' look. "Yuu… please make some soba again for me and our child?"

Kanda fell silent for a while, and Allen just guessed that he was doing it to pull back all of his patience. And then he rose from his seat and said, "Okay, please wait."

Allen then smiled and hummed to himself as he waited outside the kitchen for Kanda. He tried to plug his ears when he heard Kanda shouted some nasty things to Jerry and the other workers in the kitchen. He smiled even wider when he saw Kanda's various expressions when he cooked soba for him.

That sweet smile was maintained when he saw another bowl of soba served before him. He was not sure on how many bowls had he asked already, but he also didn't care. What was important right now is his and their child needs, and also that the soba was made by Kanda. And then, when he saw Kanda was also happy when he saw Allen happy, other people seemed did not matter.

From that point on, Allen always asked for Kanda to cook for him, even if it was on the dead of the night. Kanda seemed to finally conclude that it was a part of Allen's craving. Unfortunately for the people working in the kitchen, Kanda almost always included them as the assistants for his cooking, especially Jerry. And having to be awakened in the middle of the night with a maniac-looking young man forcing them to help him cook for his beloved spouse was annoying them to the very last bit.

Even though both of them were almost thorough in making events at the headquarters, most of them making chaos, for Allen it was all his share of peaceful and happy time with Kanda. That was the first time he had someone to share his pasts. He shared on how his biological parents had abandoned him, how he first activated his innocence, how his heart was broken because of Mana's death, how he survived living with Cross, how he finally came to the headquarters, and all the things that had happened in his live that he never told anyone before.

And he now also had someone who was willing to share his past without restraint. He heard Kanda's story with empathy when he told him how happy he was at first with his family, how he wanted revenge to the man who was responsible for his family's assassination, how he first felt when he came to the headquarters, even things that Allen was sure the other had never spoken of about, he heard Kanda told him those.

They both were content with each other telling stories about themselves. They were comforting each other, encouraging each other, and loving each other while waiting for their baby's arrival. It was similar to a piece of heaven itself for Allen. Never did he would guess that he would be this happy in his lifetime.

For once he could share all his feelings and all of his past to someone he could trust and be trusted for. For once he did not give a thought about how other people would think about them. For once he did not think about what did his and Kanda's act could bring. For once he tried to forget that there would be a time when he and Kanda could not do this again.

Because if he thought about it, he would become depressed. That was his only chance at being pregnant and that was his only chance to become a real parent. There would be no other time. He would like to wish the time to freeze at those happy moments, when he saw Kanda's soft gaze as he put his palm on his belly to feel their child moving inside it. Allen did not wish for that though, because if it came true, then he couldn't see his and Kanda's child being born.

But then again, when she was born, he didn't know if he would ever see their child again. He felt sorrow welling in his chest if he thought about the fact that the headquarters would took their baby away. He felt saddened when he thought that he would not have the quality time to take care of their baby. He knew that it would be hard to take care of a baby in the headquarters, yet he still wanted their baby to be taken care by him and Kanda.

Even though Allen covered it up outside, it seemed like that those thoughts were rotting him inside slowly. Kanda noticed it, but he managed to distract him every time he asked Allen on what was wrong. He felt a bit guilty to make it a secret from his spouse, but he did not want Kanda to worry about him. However, it seemed like it was still too much for him to handle, and his health condition decreased slightly, but surely every day.

Allen did not think about it as a threat to his pregnancy, but he learned about it in a hard way. That fated night on 12th of July, it felt like something was beginning to feel restless in his stomach. It made Allen feel so much pain that he did not think about lowering his voice to hide his pain like he normally did. Kanda who was sleeping beside him at that moment woke up instantly and started to look very anxious.

"Allen," he said with a worried tone. "What is it?"

"Yuu…" Allen barely said from his gritted teeth. "I… it hurts… I…"

He stopped to release a short groan of pain. He had an idea of what might be the cause of his pain, but it couldn't be…

"I... think that our child… is coming now…" he finally finished his sentence.

Kanda's face expressed his growing panic and he asked again while he started to carry Allen in his arm, "Are you sure? It's not the time yet..."

Allen nodded weakly, not sure of what he could do otherwise. Kanda bit his lip and he strode faster, but still gently enough not to hurt Allen. He shouted in front of the doctor's room and at that moment Allen could not think again. All he could think was if he was going to die, would he succeed in delivering their child, and would he saw their child's beautiful feature. And all he could feel was pain, surging all over his body from its central point on his lower abdomen. And all he could wonder was how could all of mothers in the earth endure such pain to deliver their babies.

At that time, he really wanted to meet his mother. He wanted to say his gratitude and he also wanted to ask her if she also felt that way when she was going to deliver him. He almost forgot that his mother had thrown him away when he was still a little baby. After all, he thought amidst his pain. He too would throw away his child after she was born.

Allen wanted to scream, he wanted to end that all, he wanted to do something at least to make the pain go away. But he knew that he had to endure. He had to endure for Kanda, for all of his friends, for all the people in the world that was being tormented with the Akuma's presence, and he also had to endure for himself. With that in his mind, he tried his best to muster up his courage and his strength when the people around him that he hazily identified as his friends shouting for emergency.

And he finally raised his gaze enough to meet Kanda's eyes.

"Yuu…" he said with his weak voice, ignoring Kanda protests to him to save his energy. "Please… tell me about our child's face… will you? They would… they would take our child… away… after this… And so… please tell me about… our child…. I will deliver our child… safely … please… wait patiently for our child, okay?"

After that, he almost did not know on what exactly happened. All he focused on his mind was the pain, the child and how he would strife with all his power to bring his baby to the world. Nothing else than that mattered, Allen thought, and even death seemed like an inconsequential matter then.

-end chap 13-

(A/N: stupid… right… we know it (sigh) so, do we still have the honor of receiving some reviews, please?? We're a bit deranged now, given the fact that we've been doing nothing in this full week holiday we're currently having (meh) true, of you count daydreaming and fangirling as 'something' then we've been being very productive… yeah… so… review?? We've given you Allen in yukata and Cross-Kanda tension and even Kanda cooking! Surely a review or more won't hurt you, ne?)