If you like Bakura, Marik and all of their stupidity, then check out the story I will start on entitled "It all started in Wal-Mart", coming to a Fanfic near you! Watch for it. And now for your featured presentation...

It's a special report-"What's the Deal?" with your host, Kakashi Introducing special guest, Anbu Black operative, No. 26, here to relay info on Sora and Riku! (cue theme music)

Kakashi: Hello and welcome. Today, we'ree here to find out "what's the deal
" with our last guests, Sora and Riku, thanks to our field expert, Anbu Black op. No. 26. Let's bring him out. (a cloud of smoke, then No. 26 appeared.)

No. 26: Hello, Kakashi.

Kakashi: Did you have a safe trip back?

No. 26: Somewhat. Some "sasquatch" of a man attacked me while I was on the mountains because I wouldn't tell him my birthday.

Kakashi: Really. Well whenever your ready. Let's start with Sora.

No. 26: He's ...an interesting one. Very powerful if provoked. Yet he seems like a slacking, lazy young man. Fighting isn't his way to blow off steam.

Kakashi: But Riku's the opposite.

No. 26: Not necessarily. Yet, they have their differences. Sora's light, Riku's dark. Riku's a lady-killer, Sora, not so much. Sora would play video games, Riku would lift weights. Even with all of their differences, they are the best of friends.

Kakashi: I wonder why.

No. 26: They say opposites attract.

Kakashi: That is true. What about their school grades?
No. 26: Riku's a straight A student, Kairi makes A's and B's, but isn't that good in Physical Education and Sora...well, let's just say he set a new record.

Kakashi: For what?
No. 26: For getting a negative grade. Look. (pulled out Sora's latest report card, which is as folows: Social Studies-B+, Art-C, P.E-B-, Biology-C+, Health-A-, English-C-, and Algebra 2-F-3 (since I can't do exponents, read this: F minus to the third power)

Kakashi: Oh my damn! Whoops- I mean, an F-?

No. 26: To the third power.

Kakashi: How? Doesn't he know the procedures?

No. 26: Apparentely his mind can't comprehend the facts of equations and variables.

Kakashi: My da-almost said it again. (heh heh) On that note, let's get to the knitty gritty.

No. 26: Their personal life? Where to begin?

Kakashi: Does any of them have a relationship?

No. 26: From what I percieve, no. But I can say that Sora wishes he was in a relationship-

Kakashi: With Kairi-

No. 26: With Riku.

Kakashi: You mean, Sora's gay?
No. 26: Ever since he relized the meaning of love. It's not the fact that he likes all boys, it's only Riku he loves.

Kakashi: Does he likes girls, like a bi-sexual?
No. 26: Yes, but he'll choose Riku over any girl. He's still in his akward stages, so hopefully he'll grow out it.

Kakashi: Do you have any proof of his obsession?

No. 26: Where to begin? His crown pendant contains a picture of Riku, His room is coverewd in pictures of Riku, he has a shrine in his closet dedicated to Riku, he always loses his temper when another girl talks to Riku besides Kairi and spies on him consatantly. He even stole a pair of Riku's underwear, which was still in use.

Kakashi: You mean-

No. 26: At an incident where Riku was suspended on a flagpole by his boxers, which ripped. Sora saw an opportunity and got them.

Kakashi: And how do you know this?

No. 26: This (he held up a red book about the size of the 4th, 5th, and 6th Harry Potter books combined) is Sora's journal. A day-by-day account of Sora's life from the age of 9. He's a very prominent writer, but I can say that he did have one good experience.

Kakashi: Explain.

No. 26: It's better if I show you. I took the liberty of filming this experience.

Kakashi: Kiba, show Clip AB-O #1.

Kiba: Got it.

When the clip started, it showed Sora in this secluded area with cute, funny cave drawings. At that moment when Riku walked in, Sora was muttering to himself.

Sora: Why doesn't he like me. I know I'm weird but he is too and that's what makes him lovable.

Riku: Sora, can we talk?

Sora: Really? You want to talk to me? Oh my god. Oh my god!

Riku: Maybe I should come back.

Sora: No wait, here I come! (checks his reflection in a compact mirror and freshens his breath with some breath spray)

Riku: Hurry up, princess.

Sora: What's up?

Riku: Sora, you're gay. I don't like you. You suck.

Sora: What?
Riku: You heard me. You suck. I don't want to be friends with you anymore.

Sora: Why are you saying this?

Riku: I told you. You suck-

Sora: Ok, you've established the fact that I'm sucky, but what did I do wrong?

Riku: You don't listen. You're gay. You're not suspposed to like me. Two boys don't mix. Look at yourself. (held up a mirror) You're a disgrace.

Sora: But- (started to cry)

Riku: Sora, you suck. I never want to see you again. Just give me my $30.

Sora: But you said-

Riku: Riku: You suck, Sora. I want my money. Give it to me. Give it to me now.

(No. 26: Pause it. I need to clarify. Riku is just trying to get Sora not to like him. He was still going to be his friend but those words he just said, "Give it to me, give it to me now" gave Sora the wrong meaning. Unpause it.)

Sora: (started to twitch) Unhhhhhh...

Riku: S...Sora, are you okay?

Sora: (twitching uncontrollably) Unhhhhhh...

Riku: Why are you looking at me like that?

Sora: (twitching, eyes started to roll to the back of his head and he started drooling as he walked toward Riku) Unhhhh...

Riku: Sora...stop playing! (Sora grabbed Riku's shoulders) Sor...Sora no...(Sora turned Riku around, preparing to do his deed) No Sora! (he pulled down his pants and Riku's as well) No Sora, NOOOOO!! (No. 26: Speed up the tape 2 minutes)

Now the screen shows Sora on top Riku, sweating and out of breath.

Riku: S...Sora...you violated me..

Sora: Riku, I'm...sorry...I don't...know...I...couldn't control...myself...

Riku: Get the heck off of me! What is wrong with you? I am NOT GAY!!!
Sora: You...you said..."Give it to me"-

Riku: I meant my money, which is now $100. Give me THE MONEY.

Sora: What did I do-nevermind, here. (handed Riku the $100)

Riku: Sora, I hate you. We're no longer friends and if you ever speak of this, I WILL KILL YOU. I don't ever want to see you again, got it!
Sora: Uh-huh. (starts to cry) (No. 26: End tape)

Kakashi: Oh...my...god. Ha! You thought I would say "Damn"! Wait, damn-whoops.

No. 26: ... ... ...As you can see, Sora got...excited. Don't worry, after about a month, Riku got over it and forgave him, for a fee.

Kakashi: So Riku knows that Sora likes him?

No. 26: Yes, and to this day, Riku, Donald, and Goofy are still trying "Operation: De-gayify".

Kakashi: Really? Sora still likes Riku, doesn't he?
No. 26: Unfortunately, yes.

Kakashi: Well, what about Riku? Anything embarassing or secretive about him?

No. 26: The only thing I could find about him was that he likes chocolate.

Kakashi: That's it? I would think-

No. 26: It's worse than you think. Please show Clip AB-O #2.

Kiba: Check!

This time, the screen shows the trio in their school lunchroom. The day: Valetine's Day.

Kairi: Riku, are you sure that you don't want to go to the Valetine's Ball?
Riku: Tch. What for? If I go alone or even with someone, the girls (and some guys) would be all over me.

Sora: We could all go as friends.

Riku: I'd rather not. ( a girl named Natalie walked up to Riku)

Natalie: Riku...w-w-would you go to the dance with me? (held up a bouquet of flowers and a large box of chocolates)

Riku: (staring at the box of chocolates) Wha...what are those?

Natalie: Milk and white chocolates with fudge in the middle. I made them myself.

Sora&Kairi: Uh-oh. (grabbed Riku)
Natalie: Hey what are you doing?
Kairi: Uhh...

Riku: Wait. (got them off) I'm ok. It's not like I'm gonna go ballistic or anything.

Sora: You sure?

Riku: Positive. Sorry Natalie, I'm not going to the dance.

Natalie: Oh. Well, could you at least try the chocolate?

Riku: Uhh...I don't-

Natalie: Please? (taling a piece out) Just pne?
Riku: No, I don't want-

Natalie: Please? (put it into his mouth)
S&K: No!

Natalie: What, is he allergic?
Just then, Riku grabbed the box and started eating the chocolate rapidly.

Sora: Riku stop!
Riku: (after pouring the remainder into his mouth, e got this nsane grin on his face) Heh...heh heh...That's good. These are great. You know what, I want some more.

Natalie: Well, I can make some more for you-

Riku: (started shaking her) HOW LONG?!?
Kairi: No!
Natalie: I-can-make-them-tomorrow-

Riku: DAMMIT! (threw her to the ground)
Kairi: Control yourself! You're not suspposed to have it anyway!
Riku: Shut up! (punched Kairi) More...give me MORE! Mwa ha ha ha ha !!! (ran into the kitchen)
Sora: Kairi, are you okay?
Kairi: (rubbing her face) Uh-huh, just get Riku!
In the kitchen

Lunchlady #1: Boy, get out of here!
Riku: (Wielding a frying pan with a crazed look in his eye) I'll ask you again. Where is the chocolate?
Lunchlady #2: Gone now, get-

Riku: Where is it?! (smacked the 2nd lady) Tell me, dammit!
Lunchlady #1: Ok, ok, it's in the back.

Riku: YES! (whacked the 1st lady and ran in the back)

Sora: (just ran in to see the ladies laid out) Oh man, where did he-

Riku: (in the back) It's the motherload!
Sora: Oh man, Riku, STOP! (ran in the back to see that Riku has already eaten 1/3 of the total chocolate cakes they were to give out at lunch that day. (approx: 123 he's eaten)

Rik: They've been holdin' out on me, well NOT ANYMORE! Ha ha ha ha !

Sora: Riku don't do this! (grabbed the cake that Riku was about to eat)
Riku: Dammit Sora, butt out! (tried to take it back)

Sora: (grabbed Riku and pinned him to the ground) Look at yourself, you've got chocolate all over your face!
Riku: I do? (started to lick his lips and all around his mouth)

Sora: Stop! Now when I get off of you, what are you gonna do?
Riku: (still licking his mouth) Uhh...go eat some more?
Sora: No.

Riku: Uhh...leave the lunchroom?
Sora: Yes. (got up)

Riku: I'm sorry. (started to walk out but ran back in and started to eat some more)

Sora: Riku-NO! (No. 26: Stop tape)

Kakashi: Whoa. Didn't see that coming.

No. 26: Never would have expected Riku to go crazy like that, would you?
Kakashi: Well that about wraps up the special report. Thanks for coming, No. 26.

No. 26: No problem. (vanishes)

Kakashi: Tune in next time where I'll be interviewing the King of Games himself, Yugi Mutou! See ya later, Sayonara! (cue theme music)