Thanks for your reviews, now we get to the really weird part…if you can't stand Tom Cruise jokes please don't burden yourself reading this, if you are a fan of Mel Gibson please do read at your own risk, but if you enjoy the fist chapter and want to bring hell to therapy please enjoy and review, it means a lot to me.
Day 7
Q was being a pain in the ass for the crew working at the hospital, the first couple of days the patients were convinced that there was a strange medicine in the water supply and made the nurses buy out of their pockets Gatorade or Dr. Pepper… then he convince them that the Gatorade had funny colors and made them buy another drink and so on… we couldn't tell if the pills were actually working on subject Q because we couldn't see his face…we tried the criminal database and the only thing we found was this sentence tag along a forgotten webpage: Aha, so you think you can catch me, I am the question!
Dr. Cruz skipped town and even left his last paycheck in the administration, the left a note saying that he would prefer watching a "Marilyn Manson Christmas Special" than to go back to the hospital to deal with that "nutcase", his check magically disappeared for a couple of days only to be change in a bank close to a supermarket for an excessive amount of gummy bears and Baskin Robbins ice cream that found their way though to the hospital creating havoc since the nice flavors like Pralines n' Cream an Chocolate Chip where send to Q and the other had flavor like: "Something that looks like fudge" and "some kind of fruit" were delivered to the rest.
Dr. Irving mysteriously disappeared after just one group session and this is a transcript of a group therapy session involving other celebrities like Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson, trying to find the real problem of this so called conspiracy vigilante:
-Hi my name is Dr. Irving- The doctor presented himself in a professional manner, just like he has done many times before since his days in medical school.
-Who cares? - Someone shouted in the group.
-Who said that? –The doctor gave a hard glance at the group. This was not going to be easy.
-I did- Q responded while raising his hand, he was wearing pajamas a fedora hat and bunny slippers.
-Why did you say that? - I asked waiting for a rational explanation.
-It's quite easy Doc, they told us your name before, there is a schedule with your name on it and you are wearing a name tag with an awful lavender color… and by god we are crazy but not stupid, except for this sucker over here- Q pointed at Tom Cruise who was wearing his trademark black t-shirt.
-I'm not stupid, I'm dyslexic- Tom cruise replied with a smile. And then he kept talking just like in Oprah: "Hey, I do my work. I live my life. My personal life has never affected anything before, but what does it matter? I can't control what people are going to say and do. It's never going to change how I live my life."
-And what does that mean? - Q responded with curiosity, it's like watching a fanatical monkey pump on energy drinks.
-Well…I don't know- He said while trying to find a cell phone to called his publicist but you know what "You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do."
-Did you go to school to back that argument? - Q responded trying to piss him off.
-"It doesn't matter to me what your opinion is. I was someone who went to many different schools growing up even if I drop out every time. I learned very early on I didn't have the right pair of shoes, didn't have the right accent, made stupid movies like cocktail, Interview with a gay vampire, or rain man, they are going to judge you ... and there's just a point where you go, there are just those people in the world that you should never worry about that, they are named movie critics." And I bought a P.h.D at some university for people to called me Dr…you know I'm rich- Tom responded with confidence… then added:" I'll go Ethan Hunt on your ass"
-You mean cool Hunt in MI2 or wimpy Hunt in MI3? - Q responded without hesitation, this tom character is off the hook…he is worst than The Flash on Viagra….
-I don't know really, now you got me all mix up- Tom Cruise responded with a 200 watts smile this time. (I BET THOSE GLOW IN THA DARK)
-You have a lot in common with the character in Rain Main- Q replied back.
-You mean the part that I played back in 89' it was a good character- Tom remembered his younger years.
-No, the part played by Dustin Hoffman- Q responded with a malicious smile….-But now they had you fired for no apparent reason, the typical Modus Operandi of a conspiracy- he added with his reporter tone of voice.
-Right, some other actor bought down by Hollywood executives- Mel Gibson responded.
-Yes, that jewish son of a ….- Tom was caught off by the hand by Dr. Irving who stood up…which didn't make much of a difference since he is a midget but holding Mr. Cruise was like watching the hobbits from the lord of the rings all over again…he need a phone to call his publicist, like a junkie needed a fix…he needed good press…must stay away from comments regarding Scientology, and his beautiful non Caucasian girl named Suri.
-You do realize that you don't have a cell phone- The Doctor tried to call Tom down, he was having an emotional breakdown after being fired to Sunmer Redstone and not getting the lead part in Gay Gun II…sorry Top Gun II, the lead job was landed by some asshole from the "Will and Grace" cast.
-Doc, Show me the money- Cruise responded with a 100 watts smile again, he needed the cell phone…need to talk to his scientology counselor named John Travolta.
-You know I can't give you my cell phone to call outside the facilities- The Dr. replied with professional courtesy.
-And why is he using one? - Tom quickly added, it was true Q was talking with someone over the phone, Dr. Irving's phone.
-Give me that- the good Dr. took the phone away from Q and then added: -who were you talking to? - The doctor added.
-You wife, I was explaining her how to make good Italian meatballs, big, juicy and tasty meatballs- Q responded with a smile.
-How did you found my house number? - The Dr. was losing his good mood, these guys were annoying him.
-It was on the cell phone - Q responded with a dark bloodcurdling tone.
The doctor stepped back scared of the tone of voice used by the patient known as "Q" it was not was he said, but how he said it that is going to hunt him like Jason's movies.
-is this my cell phone, how did you get it? - The Dr. tried to remember were did he left it because he never came to the session with the cell phone.
-That my good doctor is the question? - Q responded with a smile.
-Do you know why you people are here? - The Dr. asked the group.
-I was drunk and honest…it's all part of the globalization- Mel Gibson answered the doctor.
-Can you elaborate a little more? - The Dr. asked the trouble actor/ director.
-"I grew up in Australia, I was drinking alcohol from Mexico in my Japanese car while yelling about the Jews in Israel. You know where I was coming from? A Thai restaurant. Welcome to America."- Mel Gibson replied with a serious tone…then he added: Everybody is so picky this days.
-Don't you feel responsible for your comments and actions? - The Dr. asked Mel Gibson.
-Do you feel responsible to the lack of sex in your marriage? - Mel Gibson replied back with his Muhammad beard and crazy eyes.
-I beg you a pardon- The Dr. could not believe the world uttered by the award winning director.
-You remember "Braveheart" – Mel Gibson luscious smile was coming out.
-Yes- The good Dr. was hesitant about answering the question.
-I got some play time because the husband of the French chick, well let's say he was a "fairy" without the "tale" part- Mel eyes were popping out of the excitement…
-Where are you going with this? - The Dr. was now very curious, therapy has just become weirder, like the phantom zone weird…
-I think our faceless and creepy friend went to your house to give your wife a taste of his juicy meatballs- Mel was just warming up.
Then the doctor looked around and couldn't find "Q" around the room, he could not possibly think he would go for it…he tried to control himself and told the guys he was goin outside for a couple of minute, he ran to his car and disappeared into the night wondering if the deranged actor was telling the truth.
A couple of minutes later Q comes in with a big bowl of Ice Cream…Tom Cruise is jumping in the couch, don't ask him why….
-What brought you here? - Mel Gibson asked the man only known as "Q"
-I beat the living shit out of a nun- Q responded while taking chunks of chocolate of the top of the Ice Cream.
-Really- Mel Gibson responded with awe….that's mean.
Pete "the male nurse" walked in and told Q he had a visitor… he looked around and then shouted…Who?
-A chick named Helena- Pete responded.
-Shit, I'll be there in 5 minutes- that is all that Q could muster at the time.
Hope you enjoy it, please review