Author note: Wow! It's been a while. For those of you (and I thank you) that have been following the story, THIS IS A COMPLETE REWRITE OF THE ORIGINAL CHAPTER EIGHT. Please re-read. I think it works better. As always, the FB characters are not mine!

Chapter Eight The pain of an epiphany

"Oh no, I forgot my math book" Tohru groaned, fighting the all too familiar urge to bash her head against the sidewalk.

"So what?" Uo shrugged.

"I really need to study for that test on Monday. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Just borrow the Prince's, or Carrot Top's even."

Tohru shook her head. "I can't. Yuki has a lot of student council work to do so he won't be home until much later. And Kyo has soccer practice…I think." Or at least she thought he did. After their last disastrous clash, Kyo had begun treating her with a chilly nonchalance. While not quite ignoring her completely, he managed to somehow subtly route all communication with her through outside parties. To her surprise, Tohru was beginning to prefer this roundabout way of speaking. It was bad enough that the mere sound of Kyo's voice sent made her chest tighten and her hands sweaty, what would happen if he ever decided to start talking to her again? Would she even survive the interaction? It was better, and less painful, to keep her distance.

"I'll just run back in and get it," she said, waving her friends off. "Please don't wait for me. I wanted to get home and get the wash started, anyway." As soon as they were out of sight, Tohru's shoulders slumped gratefully. She only removed her falsely jovial mask when she was sure she was alone. Unfortunately, it was becoming increasingly difficult to force a smile onto her face.

She tuned out the cheerful chattering of club meetings and began plodding toward her classroom in the zombie like state that was becoming all too familiar. Had she been playing closer attention, she probably could have avoided the figure purposefully blocking the hallway. But, so absorbed was she in her private pity party, that she didn't notice Kiyone until she smacked right into her.

"Oh," the apology, instantly on her lips, died immediately at the sight of the other girl. She almost attempted to smile, then gave up, deciding that it just wasn't worth the effort.

Kiyone Kobayashi, vixen of class three, raised delicately arched eyebrows. When she spoke, her tone was all business. "Honda, I want to talk to you."

"I'm sorry, Kobayashi," Tohru replied tiredly. "I REALLY do not want to talk to you." She straightened her shoulders and began to walk past the other girl. To her astonishment, Kiyone grabbed her arm and dragged her into the closest classroom.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice, Honda," Kiyone said, shutting the classroom door with a decisive click. "I wanted to talk to you alone and, since you're either with one of the Sohmas, that gangster chick, or the electric girl, I think this is as good a time as any.

"Here's how it's going to work, I'm going to talk and, when I ask you a question, you're going to answer, got it?"

Dumbfounded and still slightly shell shocked, Tohru nodded. Could this really be the girl who, only days ago, was crying uncontrollably, begging for her help?

"So, what I want to know is this—how is it that, I practically hand Kyo Sohma over to you on a silver platter and you're not with him?"

"S-s-s-ilver platter?" Tohru stuttered.

"Listen," Kiyone said softly. "When I asked you to talk to Kyo for me, a part of me knew that I'd lost him. I had a feeling that, if I sent you to talk to him, the two of you would get back together."

"Why? Why would you try to do that? I thought YOU liked Kyo."

Kiyone ducked her head. "I do," she whispered. "I like him a lot. But, even when we were together…well, he talked about you a lot, you know."

"He did?" Tohru croaked. Hope, a barely there spark of it, kindled inside of her.

"Yeah. He was forever wondering if you were okay." She chuckled. "If you were at work, he'd time it so that he wouldn't be too far behind you when you walked home--so that if you knocked yourself out, someone could be there to drag your 'sorry ass' home."

So he was just afraid her death would be on his watch. Wonderful. The small spark of hope flickered, threatened to go out.

"But it wasn't just that," Kiyone went on, "He really admires you. When he'd talk about you, he'd smile, you know that smile he gets when it seems like he knows something the rest of the world doesn't? And his eyes would get this look, like he was someplace happier, someplace he really wanted to be.

"And I hated it, because I wasn't the one putting that look on his face," her voice shook and Tohru could feel her eyes begin to fill. "So I thought, fine. If getting them back together is what will make him happy, then fine. So, I let him go. I thought that with me out of the way you'd be all over him again.

"But," she frowned, "it looks like I was wrong. I don't like being wrong so, Honda, you better tell me where you screwed up."

"I…I…didn't know…it's too late…too late," tears, huge fat drops, spilled down her cheeks onto her clenched fists.

"That bad, huh?" Kiyone handed her a handkerchief. "Want to talk about it?"

Baffled, Tohru stared at her. "You would listen?"

Kiyone shrugged. "Sure, you listened to me once before, didn't you?"

"Yes, but…"

"Look. I can only say it so many times. Kyo means a lot to me." She smiled and Tohru was struck by how pretty the girl's smile, that is her real smile, not the devious one that sent boys palpitations, was. "Besides, it's partly my fault that the two of you are so pathetically depressed so it's the least I can do."

And so Tohru, unable to keep everything bottled up inside her any longer, told Kiyone as much as she could. Subconsciously she marveled at her ability to keep the Sohmas' secret, even in her overwrought state.

"So," Kiyone frowned when Tohru paused in her blubbering, "I'm still not sure why you did what you did."

Tohru sniffed. "I just don't want anyone to get hurt."

"You really think that your being with Kyo is going to hurt them that much?" When Tohru nodded, she snorted. "You really do have an inflated sense of self, don't you?"

Tohru's head jerked up. "Excuse me?"

"Do you mean so much to everyone that they're going to be devastated if they find out how you feel about Kyo? Get over yourself already. I'm sure that all your precious Sohmas will accept it eventually. Hell, they might even be happy for you. After you tell them, the world will still turn and the sun will still shine.

"Or is that what you're afraid of?" Bottle green eyes narrowed into slits. "Are you afraid that Prince Yuki will stop worshipping the ground you walk on when he finds out there's someone else? Are you afraid that the rest of the group will back off and leave you alone? Admit it. You love the way they fawn all over you, you get off on the fact that you're the envy of just about every girl in the school.

"You don't care about that fact that Kyo is crazy about you," she snarled. "All that matters to you is that YOU'RE the center of the Sohma world. You don't deserve Kyo, you don't…"

SMACK.

The sound of Tohru's hand connecting with Kiyone's cheek seemed to stop all time. Tohru's hand, now a clenched fist, dropped to her side. She was shaking. Tears dripped down her cheeks and her eyes burned with a ferocious light.

"You know nothing," she rasped. "Nothing about the Sohmas, nothing about Kyo, and absolutely nothing about me. They mean EVERYTHING to me. EVERYTHING. You don't know how much my life has changed since I've met them. It's like the best of dreams.

"I shouldn't have even been allowed to come so far into their world. And every day, every day I'm so afraid that it will all be taken away from me. It was fine when I thought I felt the same way about all of them. But now, the way I feel about Kyo changes everything. If they find out, they'll keep me away for sure. If they find out…" she stalked the room like an agitated tigress. Pressing her hands tight against her mouth, she let out a muffled scream. Her knees gave out from under her and she sank to the floor.

"They can't find out. If HE ever found out how I feel about Kyo…" she trailed off, unable to finish. Now…now she knew why she had pushed Kyo away. It wasn't just the fear of having her memories erased. She sobbed harder at the painful revelation. If they found out, they might lock Kyo up even earlier then planned.

It was one thing for Kyo to have feelings for her but, to know that she felt the same way would mean that he'd have something to be happy about for once. Akito, she had no doubt, would delight in taking any happiness he could away from Kyo. Add that to the fact that it was she, Tohru Honda, was already on Akito's hit list; well, there really was no chance for a positive outcome.

She see could it all now. First, her memories would be erased. Then Akito would have Kyo put away. Not only would she be unable to break the curse, but the person she held most dear would be locked up for the rest of his life earlier than planned.

Tohru wiped her nose against her tear-soaked sleeve and rested her forehead against her knees. While the uncontrollable crying was cathartic, to say the least, she was now filled with a different kind of hopelessness. If she truly wanted to help the Sohmas, she had to put off any thoughts of a future with Kyo.

A slender hand ran down her back. "I'm sorry." Kiyone's voice was barely a whisper.

"I…" she sighed. "I don't know what I was thinking."

It's all right. Tohru wanted to tell her but somehow the words just wouldn't come.

"I'm going to get you something to drink, all right? Just please stay here, okay? I'll be right back."

Tohru nodded. At least she thought she did. She didn't think she could go anywhere if she tried. So she sat, mind empty, body spent, and heart aching. In a minute, she kept telling herself, in a minute I'll get up and go home. She couldn't face Kiyone, anyway. Not after raging at her and especially not after slapping her.

I'll get over this. I'll forget about Kyo and concentrate on breaking the curse. Once the curse is broken, then I can concentrate on making up with Kyo. Once the curse is broken, I won't have to worry about anything but loving Kyo.

But would he wait? How could she ask him to wait when he was barely even speaking to her? How could she beg him not to be with anyone else when he refused to look at her? How could she reassure him that he was the one, the only one when he acted as if she didn't exist?

Tohru hiccupped and raised her head, straightening her shoulders. Wallowing in self-pity was not going to help any. In a minute, she told herself, I'll get up, wash my face, and head back to Shigure's to make dinner. She squeezed her eyes back closed and pulled her knees closer into her body. In a minute, I'll put all this behind me and move on. I can be stronger now, I know I can. I just need one minute. Just one minute more.

Tohru sat in the empty classroom, rocking slightly back and forth, not bothering to keep track of the minutes that were painstakingly ticking by.

When she heard the footsteps thumping in the hallway, she tried to stand but her legs refused to cooperate and her knees buckled. The footsteps came closer and, because she knew there was no way she could possibly stand, she swiped desperately at her tearstained face and tried to look a little less miserable. No, that was impossible. Perhaps it would be better to just turn away, to just not look until she was good and ready.

Tohru buried her face in her hands and took a deep breath.

The classroom door slid open.

A voice called out, an unmistakable voice, and her body slumped at the thought of another confrontation. Kiyone really did hate her, didn't she?

"Tohru! What's going on? Kiyone came and got me. What happened? What did she do to you?"

Tohru heart twisted at his panicked words. Was there a chance that he still cared? But even if there was, what could she do about it?

I'm fine, Kyo, she wanted to tell him. Please, just go on ahead. I'll be fine. Her mouth made the motions, she was sure. Why weren't the words coming out?

He crouched down beside her and, although her mind told her she should probably move away, her body refused to follow the suggestion. He placed his hand on her knee and his forehead on her shoulder and she began to weep anew.

"Talk to me."

Author's note: Well, I think that works a little better, don't you? Sorry it took forever for this change but, as you know, life happens. Anyway, THANKS FOR READING! The end should be near, really it should be. Maybe I'm on a roll and can get this story finished before this summer. But, no promises. ) Please, review. It probably needs a little more work, but I'm just glad it's out there. I hope you enjoyed it!