Climbing A Mountain for You.
By: Shelby McGinnis
Chapter 1: One Fine Day
Looking up at those millions of tiny stars in a dark blue midnight sky, all my previous fears of coming to this place evaporated. Earlier this morning I had stepped out of my car, completely unsure of what I'd gotten myself into. But after 2 hours of unpacking, things were looking good.
Coming to Brevard had started as a joke between my best-friend Grey and me. Grey, of course, wasn't his real name. But it wasn't like Blue was my real name either. We both resented the fact that our parents had given us a-sexual names. His being Brennan, and mine Alex. So we called each other by the colors of our eyes. Grey's eyes were the smokiest, foggiest, purest gray I'd ever seen. While my electric blue eyes "lit up a dark room" as Grey once put it. The names just stuck; even our teachers called us by them.
My dad and I went to Brevard every summer and hiked through the mountains. One summer I convinced him to let Grey come along. Grey was a nice enough guy but my dad just wasn't okay with me having a guy as a best friend. But Grey had fallen in love with this place just as much as I had. On the long ride home we started talking about really serious stuff. The kind of things that you know will never happen but just to be safe you make plans for the "what ifs."
"Blue, if I die in the near future, I want my ashes to be thrown off of Shinning Rock. Kinda like that scene in Last of the Mohicans.' There is something about that place that just is so ethereal. But I want you to be the one to do it." He stared at me, with this lopsided little smile plastered on his face.
"By the time that you die, you'll have a wife and kids, and will have forgotten all about Blue, your best friend in high school." The thought of losing Grey was too serious to take seriously. I just stared right back at him mirroring his goofy grin.
"Yeah, I know that silly, but what if I die before then? Who would be better to scatter my remains than you?" He was really getting into it now. Grey could give off this supercilious manner, but on the inside he could be extremely solemn.
"All right Grey, if you, for some unseen reason, perish before your time, I will take your cremated remains and toss them off of shinning rock. No force will stop me. But, if I should perish before my time, you must promise to scatter my ashes at every waterfall in Transylvania County ." My tone was loud and dramatic and had attracted the attention of my father in the front seat.
"Alex, you know that there are over 100 waterfalls in that region. It would be impossible to see them all. Not to mention how difficult some of their trails are." His voice sounded like the monotone voice you hear in every documentary ever made.
"Nothing is impossible if you set your mind to it!" I flailed my arms out and clutched my heart in my most dramatic fashion. " You'd find a way to make it happen wouldn't you Grey?"
" Blue, you have lost your already confused, little mind. But for you, I would hike up the tallest mountain and then some just to put your spirit at peace!" He was trying so hard not to laugh. We made a pinky promise that we would both carry out the other's wishes, should the worst happen.
Four months later I awoke at 2am to the sound of my cell phone vibrating against my wooden nightstand. Assuming it was some guy from school trying to make a late night booty call, I ignored it. But as soon as the buzzing stopped, my house phone rang. Grumbling, I sat up and reached for the receiver.
"Hello?" I am not a morning person; I enjoy my sleep very much. So one can imagine how thrilled I must have been to be awoken at such an unreasonable hour. I recognized Grey's mother's voice; she sounded as if she'd been crying. I was instantly awake.
"Blue, I've got some terrible news. Please, sit down for this." There was a pause and then a jagged sob. "Grey was driving home from his dad's house, and there was another driver, he was drunk... are you still there?" I could see where this was leading but I could let myself believe it.
"Yeah, I'm here? Did Grey get in a crash? Is he okay?" My words were rushed and quick. As if saying them faster would make it all okay.
"Sweetie," her voice broke off and I heard her pass the phone over to some one else.
"Alex, this is Brennan's dad. Brennan is no longer with us. I am sorry that you couldn't say good bye, but he died minutes after they brought him in."
"No, Grey always wears a seatbelt! He wouldn't even start the car yesterday until I put mine on! I thought that seat belts were there to save you! Grey can't be gone! HE WOULDN'T DIE, HE WOULDN'T!" Sobbing now I groped for my box of Kleenex.
"Alex, I know this is a lot to take in all at once, but you have to calm down. Brennan's car flipped. He was crushed; he would have been in so much pain if he lived. The other driver will be arrested for DWI and involuntary manslaughter." Mr. Kaolin's voice was so calm; it was as if he didn't even care.
" So your telling me, that ass gets to live, while Grey's life ends at 17! That isn't fair! Grey was gonna go to Brevard College with me in the fall! How can you be so calm! Does it even phase you that your only son is DEAD?"
"Now Alex, I can understand that you are upset, but that gives you no right to question my love for my son. Don't you think that I know if I had offered to drive him home then he would be in his own bed right now and not lying in some dark cold morgue?" He voice was hoarse and came in sharp breaths.
"I...I'm so sorry Mr. Kaolin, I don't know what came over me. Thank you for calling me. Let me know if I can do anything for you. Good Night."
"Wait, there was one thing. Brennan mentioned he wanted to be cremated, and that you had discussed something to do with his ashes. His mother and I have decided to respect his wishes. He'll be cremated tomorrow, and we'll have a ceremony in a week. Then you can do as you wish with his ashes."
So here I am 3,000 tissues, 34 condolence cards, 678 awkward "How are ya holding ups?" later. Staying at a Hampton Suites in Brevard, North Carolina. My best friend's ashes packed in my suitcase. All I can do now was step out on to the patio and pray that I don't have a mental break down.
That night was filled with bad dreams and tossing and turning. But at the sound of my alarm going off at 5:30 am I was more than ready to get up and begin my adventures. I had six weeks before college began, but that wasn't exactly a deadline seeing as I was going to Brevard College. In that time I needed to find a job, and someplace more permanent to stay, and get up the nerve to deposit Grey's remains. It was undoubtedly going to be a LONG six weeks.
Surveying the room, I reached for the remote, flicking through channels mindlessly, until I came upon the local news station.
"Well Steve, today looks like it'll turn out to be an okay day. With a few scattered showers over in the eastern counties, and nice temperature some where in the mid-90's." An overly perky blonde, with a SUPER TIGHT blouse smiled back at me while gesturing mindlessly towards the screen behind her. Already disgusted by her blatant attempt at seeming like an object of desire, I turned off the TV and decided to get ready for the long day ahead of me.
Lazily I strolled over to the bathroom, starring back at me in the mirror was a tan, blue-eyed, blonde haired All-American Gal, except for the streaks of mascara permanently caked onto my face. Grey always said that life was full of second chances, but no second first impressions. So taking his words to heart I scrubbed my face clean, then hopped in the shower. Lathering the complimentary shampoo through my hair I sighed with that feeling of relief every girl feels while taking a shower. After about an hour of soaking in the hot water and steam, I stepped out feeling fresh and rejuvenated. Then came the critical decision, whether or not to dry my hair. Feeling that it would only ruin the silence, I opted for the natural approach.
Getting dressed was the hard part. My Victoria's Secret bra and panties set was the obvious underwear choice (seeing as that was the first thing I saw) I pulled them on and examined my self in the mirror, a thing every girl does whether she admits it or not. My ass though not huge was big enough to please most guys and me with out attracting too much attention. And barley squeezing into my 32C bra were my "greatest assets" as my mom once put it. Good enough for the time being, the odds were against anybody seeing me without pants or a shirt on were slim to none.
The first shirt that caught my eye, was a red wife beater with a black heart all down the left side. Then I shimmied into a pair of tight black-denim jeans. Slipped on my socks and hiking boots, grabbed my jacket and the key to my room and car, and stepped out of the room ready to face the world.
Seconds later I dashed back into my room, after having realized I hadn't applied ANY MAKE-UP WHAT-SO-EVER. What a wonderful start to an already glum looking day.
Stepping outside, the mountain air was crisp and chilling, a harsh wake up call for my skin. There was no breeze just this hovering chill in the air. Walking out to my gold Rav4, my eyes caught sight of a white squirrel scampering up an oak tree. Such an everyday sight for anybody that lives in the area, but for me it was a monumental sight. This tiny little freak of nature managed to avoid predators, and was now going to climb up a tree about 100 times it's sizes. It was one of those "aww" moments. If this little guy could manage to live in a harsh world where the odds where set against him, then I could make it on my own for the next 4 years. (I hope.)
Driving down the street, watching other people heading off to work or to drop off kids at summer camp, my mind began to wander. I was only brought back to the living world when some insane man ran in front of me. This caused me to slam on the breaks, and scream out multiple profanities. I was on Main Street (no other cars in sight) so I stepped out of my car ready to give this nut job a serious hissy fit. That is until I noticed what the "nut-job" was holding. Cradled in his hands was a baby white-squirrel. "Shit. Oh fuck, I could have killed that poor...And you risked your neck just to..." That was my cue to break down and cry, which I did. Right there in the middle of freaking Main Street I sat down hugged my knees to my chest and cried. After what seemed like forever, Super Squirrel Saving Man walked over and helped me up. He opened the passenger-side door, set me down there and then got in the driver's side. And pulled the car into the parking lot of my favorite coffee shop.
We sat there in silence for a while until I got sick of the silence. "Why did you do that, you could've...gotten really hurt?" I looked over at him expecting him to have some mind blowing crazy answer like, "I am a squirrel lover and make it my job to save every squirrel in Brevard no matter what!"
But he just looked at me and smiling said "If I hadn't then that squirrel would be dead, you would feel awful for the rest of the day, and I would have never gotten to meet you. So what's your name?"
I was so taken aback that I honestly forgot my name for a moment. "Unhh... My name is Blue, well actually it's Alex, but I never liked it that much." My face went all hot and I knew I was blushing, BAD.
"Well Blue, my name is Trip, and I would love if you would let me buy you a drink, to compensate for making you cry." His smile became more sincere, and his eyes gazed at me questioningly. That's when I noticed it, his eyes. They were Grey's eyes. The same misty, fog, feel to them. I was hooked just like that.
" I would love to." I said and meant it with all my heart. His eyes told me everything I needed to know. He was a good kind man, and I could trust him.
He stepped out of my car and strode over like a prince, opening my door, and helping me down. We walked in to the coffee shop, the smell of coffee beans, and pastries greeting us at the door. To the right there was a conference room with a long table and a dozen or so chairs. And on the left were some assorted chairs and stool tables with board games and such strewn across them. But what I loved about this place was what you see as soon as you walk in the door. A floor to ceiling bookshelf, filled with reading material; romance novels, books on Brevard, or the mountains, or my personal favorite, about the white squirrels. Story has it that a traveling circus had two white squirrels in their act and their train crashed. The squirrels got away and a man in Florida took them to his house. He then sent them to his buddy up in the mountains of North Carolina, where they were set free. Then they did " the wild thing" about a hundred times and created a whole population of white squirrels. The are post card and notebooks, and pens all with white squirrels plastered on them.
" What would you like to drink? My treat!" Trip interrupted my thoughts.
" How about a hot chocolate? If I remember correctly they were really good last time I was here." It was the truth, they serve them in the really pretty glass mug/goblet type cups. And they top them with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. One summer it seemed like that was all I drank. He walked over to the counter and ordered while I sat down at a table in the front. The huge window had a great view of the street. Scott came over carrying our drinks on a tray, waiter style. And set them down gently with the swoop of his arm.
"So you've obviously been a waiter before. Prett-ty impressive." He sat down next to me and smiled coyly.
"I don't do that little trick for just any body ya' know. You should feel special."
"Oh, so you only do that for girl's that you've made cry, or for girl's who nearly hit you with their car?" Two could play this flirtatious game of his. He laughed a deep genuine laugh that filled the room with a feeling of ease and peace. For the first time, I noticed how gorgeous he was. Honey blonde hair hung just over his eyes. Just barely hiding there true beauty. He was tan and lean, with defined muscles in his arms and hands. More than likely from climbing rocks or mountains, I wondered if his leg muscles were that defined. Probably so, considering he seemed like a local who knew that the Pisgah National forest was simply 5 miles away from where we sat. He wore a ring on his right pointer finger, it had something engraved on it, but I couldn't make out what exactly it said.
He was wearing a fleece jacket just like mine (only a men's) with the sleeves rolled up. A pair of Wranglers, and some tattered and muddy hiking boots. The ultimate outdoorsman outfit except for maybe the ring.
Uh-huh silence, he'd noticed me scrutinizing every inch of him. I could feel his eyes waiting for me to look up. So slowly, I raised my eyes up to meet his. And I was met with a smile so amused that I couldn't help but smile back.
"Do you like what you see?" He asked as if this sort of thing happed to him all the time. I reached over and grabbed his hand, to get a closer look at that ring of his, but before I could even make out the first word he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. I was so startled that I let out a little squeak. "There is something about you Blue. You seem so sad, and lonely, and I just want to take the loneliness away. Please tell me why almost hitting me and that squirrel made you cry so much." His voice was barely above a whisper, it sent shivers up my arm.
"I'll tell you why later, but right now I have got to go do something, I could use your help." And just like that he paid the bill and we were off, cruising down the road to drive into the Pisgah Forest. And he didn't even ask why.
Chapter 2:
If you have never been to the Pisgah National Forest, then there is no way that I could ever explain its true beauty to you. Once again Trip was in the driver's seat as if we were old friends who did this sort of thing all the time. Or maybe even a couple, no that was being too presumptuous. At first there was an awkward silence, but it wasn't long before Trip sensed it and began asking me loads of questions. First it was basic stuff; easy enough to answer.
"Where are you from?" Trip glanced at me out of the corner of his eye.
"Nowhere special, just a little town close to Raleigh. How about you, probably a local right? Lived here all your life?" I couldn't look at him when I spoke. Instead I stared out my window watching the scenery speed by.
"Yeah, something like that. So I assume you are here to go to B.C.?"
"Huh? Oh you mean Brevard College? Yeah I'm gonna be a freshman in the fall. What about you, are you just home for the summer, or are you here for school too?" This time I was able to look straight ahead, the side window was making me dizzy.
"I'm here for school too, Sophomore though. So Freshman, your like seventeen then?"
"No, actually, I'll be nineteen in October, you know I had borderline birthday. How 'bout you 18... 20?" If he said twenty, then I would jump out of the car. My dad would kill me if he knew I was in a car with some guy I'd known for 30 minutes. I couldn't even begin to imagine what he'd do if the guy turned out to be 20.
"I turned 19 a few weeks ago," I sighed in my mind "but who cares about age anyway, it's just one more way for people to rank each other, ya know?"
"YES! It's like no matter how well you think your doing, there is always some body to tell you that they are better. Like, 'Oh you're a senior in high school, well wait till you get to College.' And then once you're in College it's grad school. After that it's a job, then a better job, then a spouse, and a family, and then you have to send your kids to the best schools and it just NEVER ENDS! Sorry I'm rambling I know but, well me and my friend and I used to talk about stuff like this but...it's just been too long." I had to catch my breath.
"You know something Blue, you are damn cute when you ramble. He looked over at me and for a moment I was back in the past.
Grey and I were in the lunch room and some of our newer friends had asked us if we went out. That sent us into a fit of laughter, we'd tried to kiss once in the eighth grade and it just didn't work. Don't get me wrong we are both very straight, but Grey was like my twin brother. After our tears of amusement had faded away he looked over at me. Just like Trip had now and he said, "I do love you though Blue, you know that right? And I'd do anything for you if you asked me. But if you ever kiss me I'll die from laughing so hard." That was 3 months before he died. It seems like forever ago.
"Don't look at me like that. It makes me want to cry. You can only look at me like that if you love me." The words left my mouth before I could process them. And by the time I realized what had happened he'd pulled over to the side of the road and was holding my hand.
"Who hurt you?" Trip asked me in a deep voice.
"What? Nobody hurt me."
"Somebody has, you may not realize it, and they might not either, but you've been hurt. Why else would me looking at you make you that uncomfortable? I told you before, you look lonely. Does it have to do with why we're out here?" His eyes, God those eyes. There was no way in hell I'd be able to not spill my heart out to him.
"Can we please not talk about this now. You know I don't even have to do that thing right now. Let's just go hiking down, please? You've been real nice, but my mascara is only so water-proof." Seriously, one more good cry and I was gonna have raccoon eyes for the rest of the day. But that wasn't gonna happen, because at that moment Trip hopped out of the car and came over to my side and let me out. The wind was blowing a bit, nut the July sun was "hotter than Pam Anderson in 'Bay Watch'" as my uncle would say. He took my hand in his and walked me down a little dirt trail. My dad and I had been down it before, but I'd forgotten what exactly was at the end. Nobody else was there this early and on a weekday. So it was romantic and secluded. Even though it was summertime leaves were still on the ground, and the air smelled crisp like fall, only hotter. The trail ran along a stream, not a deep one or anything, just a little brook with some pebbles, you could see the bottom, there weren't like fish or anything. But all the same I just wanted to sit down and dip my feet in it. The incline increased, and I recognized the distant rumbling of a waterfall. And then out of nowhere we were there, standing on the edge of this waterfall looking down as it crashed onto the rocks below. Reaching into my pocket, I fished out my little Kodak easy share digital camera. Right as I snapped my first shot, I felt a hand on my back. Turning to face Trip, he pulled me into a bear hug and whispered, "I don't love you yet, but I want to, if you'll let me." He pulled away from our embrace and stared at me waiting for a reply.
"My best-friend in the whole entire universe died a month ago in a car crash, and I never got to say goodbye! That's why I look so lonely, and I cry about nothing! I wanted to go to Shinning rock to dump his ashes, but I just can't not yet. And I know it's creepy to carry around ashes with you but, he was my everything, and now he isn't here, so it's like I've got nothing! But please don't feel sorry for me cause worse things have happened to better people, it's just hard ya know? And what is worse is I think my last words to him were, 'Buy me a Twinkie you whore.' But I didn't mean it and he knew that, but it's just not the words I'd had in mind to be his last memory of me!" Cue the waterworks, slumping down on my knees, I sobbed little tired sobs that sounded pitiful and wimpy, and I knew it.
"Blue, come here." Trip called to me, holding out his hand to me. He pulled me up off the ground, brushed off my knees, and swooped me up bridal style. I just cried into his shoulder. This poor guy, I'd known him an hour or so and already had treated him like a tissue. No other guy would have stuck around this long, so why was he carrying me back to the car?
We got to my car, and he set me down. This time he opened the backseat door. I got in, waiting to see what the heck this guy had up his sleeve. Trip climbed in after me, he patted his leg. My face must've looked confused because he said, "Lay down and have a good long cry, it's healthier than bottling it all up."
"No, it's okay, I think I'm all out of tears. Can I just drop you of at your house or dorm or job or what ever? You've been great but I've got some stuff to do today and I'll never get it done if I cry every hour. I'll even give you my number so you know I'm not blowing you off." I felt bad just ditching him like that but what I said was true. I'd had enough emotion for one day. And I really needed to find a job.
"Yeah, hey, I'm not always this prying. I just saw something familiar about you. That's all, well that and you're cute as hell. Just drop me off at the coffee shop. My shift starts in an hour, if you need a job we're hiring. You could probably start tomorrow." He was getting out of the car and going around to the passenger side of the car. So I got in and drove him to the coffee shop. I filled out an application and got my shifts for the next 2 weeks. The wages were pretty good and adding in tips would help. Plus it was flexible for when school started up. The only thing left to do would be to rent an apartment or something for the next five weeks until I could move into my dorm.
Walking around downtown Brevard was like a trip back in time. There was a music shop, an Ice cream parlor, a toy shop, a thrift store, a white squirrel store. There was loads to do to keep me preoccupied. Trip had said to come back to the coffee shop around 3pm and he'd help me look for a place to stay. He was the nicest person I'd met since Grey, and that scared me like you'd never believe. When I drove him to work, he'd asked me about Grey, and I was able to describe his appearance with out getting too teary eyed. But Grey wouldn't have wanted that to be all I said about him. (He was never big on appearances, even though his were not to shabby.) So I talked about his locker and how one look at the neatly stacked books and mini calendar told you how organized he was. And how he put a mirror in it because one time I complained that I had no idea how I looked when I went to talk to him in the hallway. Plus how everybody seemed to congregate at his locker for no apparent reason, probably just to be around Grey. That is just the type of guy he was.
I was surprised that Trip wasn't threatened by Grey, but it was the opposite. He was interested in him, or more interested in why Grey was so important to me. Everything happen so fast this morning that time seemed to stand still when Trip was gone.