Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the song 'If You Were Gay' by Avenue Q, but I have changed some parts to it to fit the story though Starrose on youtube, she does a good rendition of it 

A/N: Ah sorry this took so long, seriously been busy lately! Enjoy.\

Chapter Three

Draco Malfoy was having a no good, very bad, rotten day so far…well he thought he was. Today he had done a rendition of a muggle song at breakfast, serenaded by Potter in potions with a Christmas love song, saw Ron Weasley try to be gangster, and was now reconsidering his sexuality. He stood there troubled in the hallway, biting on the end of a new quill, and thinking things through. He decided to head back to the dorms and use his free period wisely before going to dinner. Draco picked out a book from his bag and sat down in his favorite chair by the fire with a content look on his face.

"Ah an afternoon alone with my favorite book, Potions of the 1940's! No roommate to bother me…how could life get any better than this?" Draco said to himself, flipping open the book. The portrait door slammed as someone walked in.

"Oh, hi Draco!" Crabbe said, sitting down on the couch with Goyle beside him.

"Hi Crabbe, Goyle." Draco said with a non-enthusiastic tone.

"Hey Draco, you'll never guess what happened to us in the hallway this morning.
This guy was smiling at us and talking to us!" Goyle said turning to Draco and his book.

"That's very interesting." Draco responded in a monotone voice again.

"He was being real friendly, and I think he was coming on to us. I think he might've thought we were gay!" Crabbe blurted out. Draco put his book down and raised an eyebrow at the two, "Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?"

'Oh, you don't have to get all defensive about it, Draco..." Crabbe responded with a little bit of a smirk.

"I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I'm trying to read." Draco said, shouting the first part. He blushed and looked back down at his closed book.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Draco. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about!" Crabbe said, crossing his arms and nodding.

"I don't want to talk about it, Crabbe and Goyle! This conversation is over!!!" Draco screamed, waving his arms.

"Yeah, but..." Goyle started saying.

"OVER!!!" Draco spat back.
"Well, okay, but just so you know…" Goyle said, getting ready for him and Crabbe to sing.

"IF YOU WERE GAY THAT'D BE OKAY. I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY, I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY! BECAUSE YOU SEE, IF IT WERE ME, I WOULD FEEL FREE TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY…BUT I'M NOT GAY." Crabbe sang loudly and obnoxiously.

"Crabbe and Goyle, please! I am trying to read...What?!" Draco said, seeing the look on

Goyle's face.

"IF YOU WERE QUEER!" Goyle said in a sing songy loud voice.

"Ah, Goyle!"

"I'D STILL BE HERE," Goyle continued.

"Goyle, I'm trying to read this book." Draco responded in a huffy voice.

"YEAR AFTER YEAR!" Goyle bellowed out again.

"Goyle!"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR
TO ME," Crabbe cut in.

"Argh!" Draco said, placing his book on the table.

"AND I KNOW THAT YOU," Crabbe sang pointing to the blonde.

"What?" Draco said in angst.

"WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO," Crabbe sang then pointing to himself.

"I would?" Draco responded laughing.

"IF I TOLD YOU TODAY, "HEY! GUESS WHAT, I'M GAY!"…BUT I'M NOT GAY." Crabbe sang back.

"I'M HAPPY JUST BEING WITH YOU." Crabbe and Goyle sang in unison.

"High Button Shoes, Pal Blaise..." Draco said mumbling to himself.

"SO WHAT SHOULD IT MATTER TO US WHAT YOU DO IN BED WITH GUYS?" the two boys sang in unison, standing on either side of Draco.

"Crabbe and Goyle, that's GROSS!" Draco said, now sitting straight up like he was trying to hide something…

"No it's not!" Goyle said waving his hand.

"IF YOU WERE GAY I'D SHOUT HOORAY!" Crabbe sang, throwing up his hands like he was shouting in joy.

"I am not listening!" Draco responded, putting his hands over his ears.

"AND HERE WE'D STAY," Crabbe sang back.

"La la la la la!" Draco said, his eyes now closed too.

"BUT I WOULDN'T GET IN YOUR WAY." Crabbed responded.

"Aaaah!" Draco shouted in anguish.

"YOU CAN COUNT ON US TO ALWAYS BE BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY, TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY, YOU WERE JUST BORN THAT WAY! AND, AS THEY SAY, IT'S IN YOUR DNA! YOU'RE GAY!" Crabbe and Goyle sang together now with a sort of cancan dance gone wrong as Draco sat their in shock.

"BUT I'M NOT GAY!" Draco shouted as he became even more embarrassed.

"If you were gay." Crabbe pointed out before him and Goyle left to go find a snack in the kitchens.

"Argh!" Draco shouted, he had just been in yet another song moment…stupid moments. But they were right, he was gay and he knew it, "Am I in love with him?" He sat there, his head in his hands for a while, he then decided it was time to go see what was up in the library…