Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own the freaking characters! If anyone asks me again, I will promptly stick them into my story and have them killed…..by Remus on the full moon. ;) Anyway, really I don't own it.

A/N: So…..I'm back at it again. Still not getting much attention. Maybe I should change the summary? I dunno. Anyway, here's chapter three for you, the plot bunnies demanded a confrontation of sorts, so here goes!

Chapter Three: Irony Is No Fun (And Neither Is a Slap In the Face)

"Evans!"

The smile on Lily's face immediately fell away. Some people would say it was because she hated James. Others are idiots, because why else would she go from happy-go-lucky Lily to I-don't-care-if-I'm-sent-to-Azkaban-I'll-rip-your-throat-out-with-my-bare-hands Lily?

"Not in the mood, Potter. Try again tomorrow, I might feel like hexing you into oblivion then. Or perhaps I'll simply ignore you. So much easier to pretend you don't exist." She paraded off towards the stairs to head to the girl's dorm, when James caught her shoulder.

"Tell me, Evans, how is dear Snivellus today?"

She barely suppressed a gasp. Why would he ask her…..how could he..? Oh well, there was a plan for things like this. Deny all accusations and insult like there's no tomorrow.

"How am I supposed to know? I thought you knew it all, Potter, but apparently you've had your head deflated a bit. I'll be going now." She turned once again, and got up two steps before James had her shoulder again.

"Oh, no you won't. You know, one would think that snogging in an empty corridor with someone would give them some idea of how the other person is." James was sure that he had not made sense at all, but the desired effect was achieved. Lily's face was now fighting with itself over whether she should look angry or confused. It was not very attractive, but of course, it being Lily, James still loved it. She finally decided on angry and ripped his hand from her shoulder.

"One, don't touch me! And two, WHAT?"

James stood momentarily in awe of the girl in front of him. She managed to be beautiful even when she was angry…..in fact, she was probably more beautiful this way, that's why he bothered her so often. When he snapped back into himself, he realized that he should be yelling, and proceeded to do so.

"I heard you today….I didn't know that grease was capable of laughing! At least I finally know why you won't go out with me! You have horrible taste in guys, you know, but on the bright side, you'll never have to buy cooking oil!"

He didn't know it was coming until it hit him. Lily's pale hand hit him full force across his left cheek, almost knocking him sideways and onto the floor. His hands flew to his face, which was rapidly developing a red mark exactly the size and shape of a girl's hand. Sirius snorted from his spot on the couch, and was quickly reprimanded by Remus.

"I won't go out with you because you're an arrogant, ugly git! You're nothing but a big bully, and whoever told you that you were funny was seriously mentally disturbed. Please, for once, could you find someone else to bother, and just leave me the hell alone!" She turned and ran up the stairs, desperate for an escape. She was in the dorm with the door closed before James could even open his mouth. Which he, of course, still did.

"I'll get you for that, Evans! I swear I will!" He tried as hard as he could to be angry, but the deep, sinking, mopey feeling in his chest prevented it. He turned away from the stairs to face the back of the sofa, where both of his friends (and one annoying fan) were staring at him.

"What?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders. Moony stared blankly at him, elbows resting on the chair's back, and tried to make sense of what had happened. Padfoot tried very hard not to smile, and gave James a look that was quite unidentifiable. Wormtail squeaked. All three of them were very frustrating, from James's point of view. He had no more time for them. He walked to the boys' stairs calmly, headed for the dorms, and returned two minutes later with his broom in hand.

"Where -?"

"Quidditch pitch," he said waving Remus off. "Don't come down. I might be back. I might not. Don't wait up."

And that was that. Remus went back to doing Sirius's homework, Sirius went back to charming random bits of paper, and Peter, deciding that the room was not interesting if James was not in it, climbed the stairs to the dorms and quickly fell asleep.

Meanwhile, James Potter was making his way down the corridor, running into random people and not stopping to apologize to any of them. He had almost reached the front doors when he ran into another of these annoying roadblocks, but was surprised when it did not move. He cast a glance up through his bangs, to find Old Slughorn standing before him.

"Sorry, Professor," he muttered, dodging a bit to the right to carry on.

"Wait a minute, son," Sluggy said, moving in front of the boy once again. "I wanted to talk to you about your Potions mark…..can't get many jobs with a P, can you? OWLs are coming up, and I was considering offering you a tutor. Perhaps Ms. Evans…."

"NO! I mean, no thank you, Professor, I'm just fine without Evans, thanks. Now if you don't mind, I really need to get through, Quidditch awaits." He dodged to the left this time, but still found himself blocked by the rotund man.

"Well, if you won't take it willingly, I'll just make it mandatory. But since you don't seem to be very fond of Ms. Evans, I'll set you up with someone else. I'll see you tomorrow night in my classroom, boy, around 8, and don't wait around."

At this, the man walked off, leaving James's path to the door clear. Or, mostly clear. Before he'd had a chance to really get going again, he had rammed into someone else.

"Watch where you're going, Potter!" It was Snape. He looked as if he was in a particularly good mood, and was up for a bit of snarkyness.

"Oh, shut it, Snivellus. Better things to do then bother around with you. I really don't think everyone in the hall would be pleased to see your underwear once again. Now clear off, I have places to go." He pushed easily past the thin boy and out the doors. He wasn't aware that behind him, Severus Snape was smiling at the back of his head. His day just couldn't any better.

"Ah, Mr. Snape, I was looking for you. Would you mind coming to my classroom at 8 tomorrow night? I believe Mr. Potter could use your assistance in my subject."

He was not a big fan of irony. He cursed at himself as he made his way down into the dungeons. Perfectly good day, ruined by Potter, once again.

A/N: Well, chapter three, by the demand of my plot bunnies, who I don't think I can call bunnies any longer. If they are bunnies, then they have been infected with rabies and are now crazy Cujo bunnies. I was very pleased with the slap. I hope this didn't get too funny, because if it did, I'll never be able to take it anyplace serious again. Anyway, I still need reviews! I am officially addicted. I mean, I've written 3 chapters (well, actually this one and most of the second one) today and I'm not getting appreciated. Eurgh!