Tom's POV:
"Daddy, why do you like you're about to cry?" the beautiful two-year-old looked up at her father with confused sapphire eyes.
"Oh silly little girl. How could I cry whenI'm looking at something as
beautiful as you?" I said, tickeling her little belly. She started giggling
uncontrollably. In truth though, I was about to cry. Earlier this morning,
Portia had approached me in the hallway out side of the kitchen.
"Tommy, Amber needs a daughter. And...I need a husband." she saidd with tears in her eyes. And she was right. I wanted to be a good father for Amber's sake. I had to be.And I couldn't be a good father if I wasn't married to Portia.. I knew that and she knew that. So I had no choice but to reply," Then we're just gonna have to get married then." She broke out in a huge grin and I put on a small smile. She hugged me and softly asked, "When girl?" and then cringed when I remembered that that was my nickname for Jude. All she replied was, "September."
So now me, Thomas Quincy, is getting married on September 2nd. To a woman I don't love. For a little girl who I'm beginning to love. And killing another woman who I love with all my heart.
I'm not even inviting to Jude to the wedding. I CAN'T invite Jude. I won't be able to go through with the wedding if she's there. She's my world. But to my disadvantage, it looks link I'm getting another family. A world with a beautiful little girl and a really pretty wife. So why am I unhappy?
Because I'd give anything to have this same life with Jude.She's my every thought. Night and Day, I see her beautiful face. The face of an angel. I want HER to be my wife. I want HER to have my kids. This little girl. I already love her, But she is Portia's daughter really. Potia was there for her first steps. Portia was there for her first words. I love this little girl...but she ruined anything he might have had with Jude. While this little girl, was doing some of her first stuff, I wasspending time with Jude. Producing her albums. Listening to her talk. Kissing her.
And now all of a sudden, it looks like I'll never do anyof that stuff with her ever again. No forbidden kisses. No stolen heated looks. Only maybe the occasional phone call. And possibly I might see her again. But most likely not. Not here in Montana...thats it! We could move back to Toronto!
"Daddy?" Amber waved her tiny hand in front of my face trying to get my attention. "Will you come push me on the swing?"
" Yeah sure sweetie. I'll be right there." I told her, once again amazed at the beautiful child scramble to the swing set and plunk down on a swing. I slowly made my way over to her. I gently pushed her tiny hips pushing her high but not high enough to hurt her. She was giggling in glee. She was such a joy to watch laugh...Just like someone else I know. And who I left.
This beauty looked just like Portia. Except she had my color of hair and it was curly instead of straight. Her eyes were also the color or mine...a deep sapphire color. She made everyday without Jude a little painful. But just a little.
The worse part of it all is that I love Jude.I lover her so much that every one of my bones ache and shake with a single thought of her. I can't get enough of her. So will I ever be able to be a good husband? Will I ever be able to love Portia? But I know those are the wrong questions I should be asking myself.
The real question is...Will I ever be able to stop loving Jude?
Jude's POV:
The months came and went. I never heard from Tommy again. I didn't call him again and he didnt call me. I missed him. I missed his voice. I missed his laugh. I just plain missed the man I loved. But he wasn't here. He was in MONTANA. MONTANT I tell you. Thats not even in Canada.
Things were awfullay awkward around the house too. I was still hurt that Sadie
hadn't bothered to tell me that the love of my life had left the country and
she was embarrased that she "had failed at her job of being the older sister"
Or so she says. Really I'm not that mad anymore. Its her who won't forgive
herself.
Kwest and I were ok again. He had told me everything. How he found out ( Tommy had answered his phone for him), why he hadn't told me ( Tommy made him swear not to tell me that he would tell me himself), and ll the other details. I forgave him. I forgave Darius.
I forgave Liam for the sake of my paycheck. I really dont like him. I even forgave Sadie.
And I went on loving Tommy.
I also had been hit with inspiration. I wrote two more songs after we talked.
"(I miss you, miss you)
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare, The shadow in the background of the morgue, The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley We can live like Jack and Sally if you want Where you can always find me And we'll have Halloween on Christmas And in the night we'll wish this never ends We'll wish this never ends
(I miss you, miss you) (I miss you, miss you)
Where are you and I'm so sorry I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight I need somebody and always This sick strange darkness Comes creeping on so haunting every time And as I stared I counted The webs from all the spiders Catching things and eating their insides Like indecision to call you And hear your voice of treason Will you come home and stop this pain tonight Stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) Don't waste your time on me you're already The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you) (I miss you, miss you) (I miss you, miss you) (I miss you, miss you.)"
(which of course Tommy inspired and)
"From the moment that we met My world was turned around, upside down To some degree I still regret my memory For keeping you around Boy, I thought that you were mine But my broken heart's been shattered One too mine times
And I don't wanna see you anymore
I'm just not that strong
I love it when you're here
But I'm better when you're gone
I'm certain that I've given
And oh how you can take
There's no use in you lookin'
There's nothin' left for you to break
Baby, please release me
Let my heart rest in pieces, in pieces
Someone let you down again So you turn to me, your convenient friend Oh, but I know what you're doin' and what you hope to find I've seen it a thousand times All the fire we had before Are now just bitter ashes Left scattered on the floor
And I don't wanna see you anymore
I'm just not that strong
I love it when you're here
But I'm better when you're gone
I'm certain that I've given
And oh how you can take
There's no use in you lookin'
There's nothin' left for you to break
Baby, please release me
Let my heart rest in pieces, in pieces
Yeah
I don't wanna see you anymore
I'm just not that strong
I love it when you're here, baby
But I'm better when you're gone
I'm certain that I've given
And oh how you can take
There's no use in you lookin'
There's nothin' left for you to break
Baby, please release me
We both know that you don't need me
Let my heart rest in pieces, in pieces
Let it rest."
(which once again Tommy inspired)
Life was slowly starting to go on. I was slowly getting stronger.
Then, two months after Tommy and my phone call, on a mid-August day. I got an unexpected invitation.
" You are hereby invited to the wedding of Thomas Quincy and Portia Jennings on the evening of 2 September, 2006 7:00 PM. No gifts are required only that you be present. Hope to see you there!"
And once again I was broken.
Ok guys! Here's my third update of the day : ) I hope you like it! Im gonna try something I picked up from a great writer. She gets a bunch of review so I'm gonna see if I can get 12 reviews by the time I review next. Thanks a bunch to all my readers. Luv! Oh and the songs were " I Miss You" by Blink 182 and " Pieces" by Rascal Flatts.