All My Love
By Blondenhot and Angel422
Tommy POV…
I heard the tone that Portia used when she spoke to me, and I knew from its inflection that she had stepped back from the situation she now found herself in, considered it, and then threw the thought away like it was yesterday's garbage. It hurt—really it did, but I knew Portia and she needed people in her life to be strong for her, not the other way around. She wasn't good at the support thing—at being a foundation for someone else to lean on. My head swam, and I blinked several times against the darkness that now engulfed me. It just felt strange knowing that my eyes were open but that there was nothing there for me to see. No images, no color…nothing. I felt someone sit down on the bed beside me, and I realized from the scent that wafted towards my nose that it was Jude. My Jude.
"We can do this." She stated quietly as I groped for her hand—almost groaning in frustration until she reached out and took my hand in hers to still it—to let me know that I didn't have to reach for her. She was willing to meet me half way. I smiled in the direction her voice had come from.
"I know we can." I whispered back as she leaned over me then and kissed me on the cheek. The gesture was such a small one, but meaningful nonetheless. She sighed as footsteps approached us both from the side.
"He's going to be fine. All other tests came out normal." The doctor said firmly as my hand tightened on Jude's . It was good to know that my vision was the only thing that seemed to have abandoned me. Jude moved slightly as the doctor shifted.
"We're ready to discharge him. There's nothing more we can do except wait to see how his vision progresses." The doctor stated as Jude moved—I am assuming by nodding her head. And then all got quiet. Portia had left a little earlier, and I knew that she wouldn't like the idea of me staying with her right now. As Portia had put it, "Seeing you this way will scare Amber. I'm sure you understand." Yeah, I understood.
"Do you still have your apartment?" Jude asked me quietly as I nodded. Yeah, I still had the penthouse—having kept it because subconsciously I had known I guess that mine and Portia's relationship wasn't that steadfast—wasn't strong to begin with. Or maybe I kept it…no, that would not be the right thing to think about right now.
"Then let's get your stuff together." Jude stated brightly as she stood up and began gathering things that people had sent me, as well as the over night clothes she had brought to the hospital in case I had needed to stay longer. Her thoughtfulness touched me in so many ways. I just hoped that my blindness wouldn't become a problem. It had me depressed. It had me downright scared.
Jude's POV:
Several hours and not that much conversation later, Tommy and I had successfully moved all his stuff into the apartment with no hassles. All of his important stuff was still in the penthouse, along with some other crap that he had owned for 12 years. Ha, what a boy.
We were now sitting on his black leather couch, exhausted from hauling in his stuff. I was staring at him, watching as he moved his head from side to side with a pained expression.
" You have no idea how much it sucks to have been gone for so long from your home and to have missed it terribly and then to finally be back and not be able to see a thing." he said, shutting pale lids over a pair of blank blue orbs. His eyes haunted me now...they had once been the eyes that helped me through things, that I melted into. Now it was like a piece of glass had been slid inbetween him and reality and I couldn't see a thing.
Tom, my rock, the man who in my eyes was fearless, was scared out of his mind. Terrified that this- a vast black darkness-was all he would ever see again. He was almost willing to give up...to not even hope of a brighter tomorrow.
And hell, That scared me.
"I know, Tom. I'm so sorry this has happened to you." I said as my eyes filled with tears and my voice cracked. Unwillingly, I let out a tiny whimper and because his hearing had improved with the loss of his sight, his head swivelled in my direction in less than one beat.
"Aw, Jude. Don't cry." he said, his voice soft yet forceful. He was making it clear that he wasn't goin to have me cryin over him. Not now, not anytime soon. He didn't want my pity.
" I can't help it! I'm s-s-sorry..." I moaned, for the first time since he had woken up I broke down. A random hiccup came out every once in a while. Tommy slowly gathered my in his arms and rocked me gently as I fell apart-- literally shattering right there in his arms. As I murmured incoherently into his shoulder, he would occasionally nod in understanding. He was so good--so good at knowing what to do when I needed him.
"It hurt to see you laying there like that...i-i-it felt as if i was someone else--someone completely different. Somebody who was.
broken..." I murmered picking my head up off his shoulder and gazing into his eyes. The eyes that were so warm usually, were blank now. Even though he couldn't see what I waS doing, I knew he felt exactly what I felt. It was strange...we connected like that-- kind of like in Titanic when Jack tells Rose, "You jump, I jump." We were in that deep, knew each other that well. For once in a long time, his face displayed his every emotion. It seems like his devil may care attitude had come back and bit him in the big ol'ass.
"Jude. About what happened earlier with Portia. It wasn't your fault. Portia and I... we just aren't right." he said, his infamous smirk playing softly against his lips remembering the last time he told me that when he and Sadie had broken up. Talk about deja-vu. I gasped involentarily, even though I wasn't really surprised from the easy way he had mentioned the kind of fond memory and the enormity of what he was saying.
"I dont...understand..." I sputtered out, completely understanding yet yearning to hear what he was trying to tell me. He opened his mouth then closed it again. As if he was searching for the right words. The next time he opened his mouth he told me just the right thing.
" Jude. You understand better than anyone I know. That's the thing. THAT'S why I can't sleep at night. THAT'S why when I was lying there unconciuous, fighting for the chance to wake up again, that I kept calling for you, Screaming your name until you were there beside me holding my hand. You, Jude. I can't stop thinking about YOU. I l--" he shook his head then, deciding against saying what he had started to say, as if he was scared of my reaction.
"Aw, dare I say, Tom, that you are going soft on me!" I said teasingly, releasing the tension from the room as if I had popped a giant balloon. His face relaxed from its stiff position as he chuckled in amuzement--and gratefulness. He smiled at me and I smiled back even though I knew he couldn't see it. We both let out a quiet laugh and leaned back to listen to another show. And as I asked him which show he wanted, he smiled at me through his blind stupor and I couldn't help but think about how much I love him...and how much I always would. I smiled back as I flipped through the channels happy as a lark and waited for a new day. Because no matter what God threw at us we could handle it. We were a team. We always would be.
Whether Portia was in the picture or not.
Tommy's POV:
The world went on spinning even though I couldn't see which direction it was turning to. Portia went on ignoing me, pretending this wasn't happening as the months drug on. She also deprived me of Amber-- still used the same excuse of "It would scare her" everytime I asked. She was my daughter gosh dammit and I had the right to see her if I wanted. But Portia said no and for now--because I was still exhausted from the wreck and to tired to fight with her--I let her step all over me at her own degree. Then there was Jude.
Beautiful, wonderful Jude. She had barely left my side since I had awoken. She even slept over most nights, making her neat little spot on the couch where she parked her hiney every night. I offered to give her the bed but she insisted I sleep on it. Hell, I even offered to share the bed with her. And even though I heard the hitch in her voice which indicated she wanted to share with me, she said no, she couldn't do that. Her mother would have an anuerism. Ha. That the couch suited her just fine. Pfft. If I wasn't as blind as an old coot, I would've pursued her more, insisting that she just had to in case I needed some extra help in the middle of the night.
But for now she was ny nurse, and I was her patient. She was my everything, I depended on her being there everyday to help me. It wasnt't bad being blind, it was worth getting to see her all the time. It almost made it hurt worse.
But it still sucked.
Tonight was just like any other night this week. We watched and listened to a TV show, argued over a new band, ordered take out, and went to sleep. I thanked her for everything she was doing for me, we hugged and she gave me a small peck on the cheek. Then we parted ways. About midnight, I turned my lights off and layed down. I thought about the past month-- how so much had changed. NO later that 15 minutes later, I heard a faint strumming and Jude's soft voice drift up to me, despite her best efforts to be quiet.I climbed out of bed and made my way to the staircase where I paused. I could make out the words clearly. They were about me.
"I'll always remember
When you were lost in the rain
I knew that moment, my whole life had changed
You told me a couple nights ago to forgive you
From all the pain you'd caused me
I knew that moment, we will never part
I can give you everything you need
If you only say you'll stay with me
All my love, is what I wanna give you
Everyday, everyday I love you
I'll be there, to lift you just a little higher
Fill your spirit with desire, all my love
Is what I wanna give you
Everyday, everyday I love you
I'll be there to take you just a little higher
until you're buring with desire, all my love
It's never ending
That flame that grows inside
We're starting something, when our hearts collide
I can give you everything you want
If you only say you'll be the one
All my love, is what I wanna give you
Everyday, everyday I love you
I'll be there, to lift you just a little higher
Fill your spirit with desire, all my love
Is what I wanna give you
Everyday, everyday I love you
I'll be there to take you just a little higher
until you're buring with desire, all my love
I can give you everything you need
If you only say you'll stay with me..."
As the song finished, I felt my way down the stairs, trying to be quiet enough to not disturb her. I gripped the rail tightly. I got to the last step without making any noise and then the last step made a loud obnoxious creaking noise. Jude's head popped up in surprise, reminding me of the wedding when it did the exact same thing. She stood up then, in one bouncing movement.
"Tommy!" she said in a shocked voice. She stalked over to me than--I could hear the pitter-patter of her feet as she made three swift movements she was standing in front of me, her chest and my chest touching as I felt my pants tighten once again. And then, when I was about to apoligize to her, she did something we never expected she would do.
She kissed me.
Hey guys! SOOO sorry about how long it took me to update this! Summer has been so busy...but we are counting down the chapters til the end so keep on readin! Oh and can we try 95 reviews? Or 100 if you really like it. I know that's a lot but I really want to get 135 by the end of the story. Let me know! LUV! Blondenhot and Angel422