I love G/A stories, but I didn't just want to force them together if they didn't want to be. I thought long and hard who I wanted the future HCH (Her Celestial Highness - I made that up :-) ) to be. I knew most people like X/A, but she absolutely refused. I'm saying she threatened me with her shakram! I even asked Callisto, but Ares threatened to castrate himself and they both vowed to kill each other and me if I even thought about forcing them into marriage. So no one blame me! I'm just the writer.
Thank you all for the reviews! I think I'm becoming a review junkie! :-)
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CHAPTER FOUR: The Best Man"Just because they've decided to embrace the horrors of married life doesn't mean they have to make me suffer," the God of War grumbled as he threw himself down on his throne. Kill me now! he sighed, oh wait...I'm immortal.
Two weeks had passed since the day in the glade. Two weeks in which Ares wondered how he'd wound up engaged to the annoying Bard. Surprisingly his parents had been ecstatic with the idea of him and Gabrielle marrying. His mother had gasped and his father had looked thoughtful the first time they'd met her.
His mother deemed her a better candidate than the strumpet and his father agreed. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but it was a habit he still hadn't grown out of. He learned that they'd fallen in love with her and from what he could tell she'd fallen in love with them as well. At least he wouldn't have his parents interfering in his wedding plans or his marriage.
It turned out that he'd been a little optimistic. His father had insisted that he ask his half-brother to be his best man. His reasoning was that it would be a bonding experience between the brothers. Ares had wanted nothing more than to refuse and was about to retort that he felt as close to the martyr-seeking dumbass goody two-shoes as two people could get when his fist was plowing into the dumbass' jaw, but one look at his father's hopeful expression – he still felt like that was put on - stifled that instinct. He would have had to put up with him anyway since Gabrielle had invited him to the wedding.
When the initial shock of finding himself engaged to the sidekick had worn off, they'd agreed to spend time getting to know each other one on one so that they would be comfortable with each other come the wedding night. Not that he cared. He planned on closing his eyes and thinking of Xena despite the fact that she was acting like a jealous child. After their first outing together, he found to his surprise that he liked her and that she could make his life calm and serene. Not that he'd ever tell the brat that.
Xena and Joxer on the other hand had made his life a living hell since they'd found out. Gabrielle had suggested several places for their 'dates', but surprisingly the warrior princess and the bumbling oaf had always managed to show up and spoil things. One day, one week after their engagement, after a particularly trying night he'd confronted his fiancée.
"I'm calling off our engagement!"
She'd been shocked. "Why?"
"Normally keeping my godhood is important to me, but it's not worth putting up with your friends to do it!"
"I know they've been a little bothersome lately, but…"
"Bothersome? There isn't a word for what those two have been. And since I wouldn't want to deprive you of your friends, I've decided that there's no way that I'm putting up with them for the rest of their lives! "
"But…"
"I'll inform my parents in the morning. I'm sure that I can find someone else in a pinch," he turned his back on her and stormed to the door.
He was at the entrance to her living area when he heard it. It was faint. At first he'd been unsure, but when it was repeated he'd known she was crying. He cringed. He hated to see or hear a woman cry.
"Gabrielle?"
She was curled up on the black leather sofa that resided in front of a cave where a fire was lit. She refused to acknowledge him, but there was a pause in her crying.
"Why are you crying?"
"Hormones," she mumbled.
"Oh…"
He had no clue what those were, but he knew he didn't like them. Hormones were the reason he avoided his sisters like they had the plague. Even his always-sweet sister Dite became a terror when her hormones came to visit.
"Well…about the Terrible Twosome…"
He watched as her shoulders stiffened. She was expecting him to threaten them.
"I guess we could have our meetings in a different plain or somewhere else they can't get to easily,"
She stared at him with big eyes. The hesitant hope in them managed to make him feel like a beast for hurting her. "What are you saying?"
"The wedding's still on,"
She squealed and threw herself against him. He wrapped his arms around her slim waist and held her against him. He buried his face in her sweet smelling hair. A sense of peace that he hadn't felt in years enveloped him. Her extreme emotions didn't faze him. If Dite wasn't his sister and his father hadn't forbidden him bedding her before the wedding he'd have thought she was pregnant. Unless…no, she wouldn't do that. He was fast learning that she wasn't that kind of girl, no matter what he'd thought in the past.
"If they even look at me cross-eyed…"
"You'll burn them to a crisp. I know. I'll yell at them tomorrow,"
And they had kept their dates strictly to places that Xena and Joxer couldn't get to. He took her planet hopping spending most of their time on his planet Mars and Dite's Venus. It was on a visit to Dite's temple on Venus that he'd kissed her for the first time of his own volition. If he were honest, he'd never felt anything like his reaction to a simple kiss. He'd wanted to throw her on the floor and make love to her until he passed out. And then start all over again.
Footsteps roused him from his thoughts. He looked up and saw his half-god half-brother full demon spawn do-gooder walking towards where he lounged on his throne.
"You took your time,"
"I had to save a village from one of your warlords. I'm here now. What do you want?"
"Which one?"
"Actaeus,"
"I'll be sure to punish him later,"
"You can't. I killed him,"
He gasped in pretended horror. "What happened to your pro-life attitude? What was the motto? Oh yeah…'evil doers deserve to live too'."
Hercules rolled his eyes. "Actually, it's 'everyone deserves to live'. Besides it was an accident. He was hiding in a tree that I uprooted and used as a javelin."
"Sounds messy,"
"It was. You'd have loved it. Now to get back on topic. What do you want?"
"I'm getting married,"
"Who's the unlucky woman? Callisto?"
"Don't give up your day job, baby bro. It's Gabrielle,"
"Gabrielle who?"
"We only know one Gabrielle stupid,"
"Xena's Gabrielle?"
"Yup,"
Hercules was so stunned he flopped onto the chair Gabrielle herself used when she came to visit him at this particular temple.
"What did you do to her?"
"Nothing!" he snarled, "In fact I never asked her to marry me, she offered."
Neither of them noticed a dark haired skinny man standing in the shadow.
"Huh?"
"Well, when I was told that I had to get married, the first person I thought of to help me was Gabrielle. She never even crossed my mind, her being Xena's friend and her hating me, but I figured she'd know someone who would pass mother's tests,"
"And did she?"
"I never really got a chance to ask. When she found out I wasn't going to ask Xena, she practically jumped me." Shook hands…jumped me. Same diff.
"Why didn't you set her straight?"
"Because I want to marry her," he mumbled.
"You…"
"Besides," he stopped his brother from finishing, "it saves me from actually looking.""
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
He ignored him. "Anyway, the reason why you're here is that Dad wants you to be my best man,"
"What if I don't want to be?"
"You don't have a choice. I overheard him telling Mother that he'd sick your mother on you,"
Hercules shuddered. He could stand up to giants, angry gods, any number of monsters and villains, but his mother made him quake in his boots.
"Fine!" he huffed, "I'd be honored to stand up for you,"
Ares sketched a sarcastic bow and said, "Rie wanted Xena to be her maid of honor, but she declined. So she's thinking of asking Dite. That means you can't make out with the bridesmaid,"
His brother snorted. "Do you want me to talk to Xena?"
"No. If I have any luck she won't show and neither will that oaf,"
"Ahh…he's still in love with her,"
"Have I beaten you every time we've fought?"
"No,"
"Shut up. I think all those knocks I gave you to the head have made you delusional. Anyway Dad wants to see you,"
"Do I have to?"
"I had to face both mine last week, be grateful you only have to face dad,"
Hercules didn't have time to sigh before Ares grabbed him and they disappeared.