CHAPTER FIVE: The Matron Of Honor

Gabrielle paced.  All her attempts at getting Xena or Joxer to stand up for her had failed.  Her Amazon sisters were too far away and she didn't feel up to the journey.  With a sigh she headed towards a certain pink temple.  The interior of the temple was an orgasmic explosion of varying pinks as well.  Pink candles, pink altar, you name it, it was pink.

"Aphrodite!"

A hail of flowers and hearts appeared before her.

"Gabby!" a big grin crossed the face of the blonde goddess.  Then a frown marred her features as she said, "Is it important?  I'm in the middle of getting my nails done,"

Her companion chuckled, "It's important."

"Fine," she waved a hand.  She walked to her throne and curved her body into it.  "So what can I do for you?  If you've decided to ask me to send Cupid to zap Xena then I'm afraid…"

"No!  I would never…" she blushed.

A laugh that sounded too angelic to be human rang out in the room,  "so what the what good buddy?"

"I'm getting married,"

"Congratulations!" she jumped up and hugged her, "who's the lucky guy?"

"Ares,"

Silence fell.

Then the divine laugh sounded again, this time with a slightly hysterical edge to it.  When it ended the laugher was on the floor with tears running down her face.

"Zeus!  Don't ever do that to me again!  I thought you said you were getting married to my brother,"

"I am,"

"My brother?"

Nod.

"Ares?"

Nod.

"The God of War?"

Nod.

"Muscular, leather wearing, curly haired, sarcastic smart mouth with the hots for a leather wearing Warrior Princess?  That Ares?"

Nod.

"Oh Zeus!  I have to sit down,"

"You are sitting down,"

"I have to stand up then," she scrambled gracefully to her feet and started pacing.  She stopped and stared hard at Gabrielle.  Then started pacing again.

"Stop pacing!  You're making me dizzy.  Would you say something?"  

"What in Tartarus were you thinking?  You hate him!"

"I…"

"Shhh!" she slashed a hand in the air.  She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, and then opened them.  Silence reigned until a "By Zeus!" exploded through the chamber.

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Two blonde women reclined on sofa-like thrones in Aphrodite's home staring at each other.  One was immortal the other wasn't.  One was as blonde as the color of her brother's chariot as he rode across the sky.  The other was the color of the same chariot as it was descending towards its home. 

"Joxer loves you,"

The reddish blonde grimaced, "You've got to be kidding.  I'd kill him in a day."

"True.  But you forgave him after he made you fall in love with him and had you sing that god-awful song.  Plus you forgave him for the whole three naked dancing Gabrielles.  So I assumed it was true love."

A snort was her answer.  "Besides he's like my brother.  The thought of making love with him makes me shudder."

"So you've fallen in love with…"

"Don't say it!  Someone might hear and tell him.  Then I'll never live it down,"

The goddess chuckled.

"Besides he might not reciprocate if it's said out loud,"

Aphrodite laughed.  "I could just zap him you know."

Gabrielle sighed, "I know, but it wouldn't be real."

"You've got a hard task," she sat silently for a moment then said, "So anyway, why did you want to see me?"

"I have a favor to ask,"

"Ask away little buddy,"

"Would you be my bridal helper?"

"Xena said no, huh?"

"Understatement!  She went ballistic,"

"And she doesn't know that…"

"No,"

"I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she finds out," she fell back laughing.

"You're not second choice.  I would have asked both of you,"

"I know.  Are you sure?"

"That I want to marry Ares?  Positive,"

"Well in that case, I'd be honored, a big grin crossed her face showing perfect, white, even teeth, "besides I can't wait to see what you and Ares offer to me at my altar,"

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AN: In Ancient Greek wedding customs, the bridal helper was similar to the maid/matron of honour role of today.  Also to ensure a happy and loving marriage, couples made sacrifices to Aphrodite.  As a god, Ares doesn't have to offer any sacrifices, but since his bride is mortal, he might want to humor her.  Depends on if she catches him on a good day…like after a particularly brutal war.  :-)