I really need to stop stealing these logbooks. I'm going through so many, but if Arlong even notices one, I burn them to make sure he doesn't know my plans beforehand. I hope this one can last a long time.
So here I am, this…podunk place called Port Town with two, well, morons. One of them is this stupid kid named Luffy. Well first off he CONTINUALLY insists that I've joined his crew as his navigator, despite the fact that I've told him many times that I won't join with him due to my…current…association (although I don't tell him that). Since he's a moron, I decided to ally with him so I could get close to Buggy, who's another filthy pirate, but he has pretty much taken over the town, putting it under martial law.
Well, first of all, Luffy and I became acquainted with each other after I kinda borrowed Buggy's map to the Grand Line. He fell out of the sky completely undamaged and I…persuaded some of Buggy's lackeys that he was my boss. (Although in retrospect, that might've gave him the message I'd want to work for him.) I should've realized he's a moron immediately since he got so pissed off when one of the lackeys knocked off the hat he was wearing. Luffy just beat the daylights out of them just for that, claiming that the hat was his "treasure". It doesn't have a map or jewels or beri or anything! How can a dinky hat be "treasure"?
So I use moron-boy to get close to Buggy saying that we had a dispute and I'd rather align myself with him than my "former boss". Since all pirates are stupid arrogant jerks, Buggy believed me and allowed me to join. Under one condition, though…I had to kill Luffy!
I'm a thief, yes, but I'm not a cold-hearted killer. Luffy is just this random kid! I can't kill him for no good reason! All goddamn pirates are the same, no regard for people's lives. Just another murderous rat thriving under a Jolly Roger. The worst part is that I knew that if I didn't do it, I'd be next on the hitlist! I had to think fast, but a blessing in disguise arrived when one of the Clown Pirates tried to light the fuse on Buggy's cannon because his thick head couldn't take the anticipation. Out of reflex, I attacked him and blew my cover. Dear God I thought I was done. Enter moron number two.
Luffy mentioned that he had another crewmate, but I never expected the bounty hunter Roronoa Zoro to be that other crewmate! He was able to protect me because, you know, women are fragile beings that can't defend themselves. Of course, I was grateful for the help, though. While he couldn't cut through Luffy's cage, he did slice up Buggy like he was dinner. Too bad that ended up being not as helpful as we thought.
That crazy guy Buggy has a Devil Fruit! The Bara-Bara no Mi, he can split up his body at will! So when Zoro attacked, he just split at what would have been the wound! Goddamn dirty pirates and their dirty tricks. He pretended to die, then backstabbed Zoro with one of his disembodied hands! Then as Buggy put his body back together, Luffy decides to mention his nose, which pisses him off so he throws the same knife at Luffy! Luffy freaking catches it with his teeth! Everyone around me is batshit INSANE! AAAAAAHHH!
OK, calm down, Nami. At least the Super Nimrod Bros had a good escape plan, they used the cannon that was originally going to be used to kill Luffy to attack Buggy and his crew. Throughout the smoke and confusion, the three of us (albeit with Zoro carrying the cage that Luffy was in DISPITE being wounded and DISPITE the continuing trend that he's an idiot) were able to distance ourselves from that crazy clown.
So we're back in town, Luffy and Zoro are hopefully hiding somewhere like I am now. First we need to free Luffy, then we need to hightail it the hell out of this godforsaken place…what the hell am I writing with this "we" crap? Oh well, I'll associate myself with these guys a bit longer until I can get out of this acquaintanceship. Out of sight, out of mind, and for them, out of beri.