Bridal Shower Part II:

Painful Presents

The goddesses and Ephiny groaned in disappointment when the book vanished. They glared at Hera.

"Sorry ladies. Only parents and future spouses can see those and blackmail the man in question with them,"

"I know," Aphrodite chuckled, "I've certainly put the one I got about Hephaestus to great use!"

"Same here," said Persephone, "Hades keeps trying to find where I hid his!"

"I still want to see that book," Athena said longingly with a glazed look in her eyes, "Accidentally drop it open in my presence, Gabrielle."

"Moving on," Aphrodite said trying to get everyone's attention off the book of photos, "Last but not least. Mine!" the Goddess of Love handed Gabrielle a thick cylinder parcel. Gabrielle blushed to the tips of her toes when she saw the replica penis.

"What is it?" Persephone asked.

Everyone looked at her. She blushed and said, "I know what it is, but shouldn't it be attached to a man?"

Aphrodite giggled. When she recovered she said, "No, I didn't cut it off some man. I call it the 'Man Replacer'. Push on the bottom. "

Gabrielle did as instructed. She jumped when it started moving.

"Male parts move like that?" Artemis asked wide-eyed.

"I wish!" exclaimed Hera.

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

Aphrodite raised an elegant eyebrow and asked, "Do I need to have the talk with you?"

"No," the embarrassed Gabrielle choked.

You mean if you have this you don't need a man? "Athena asked taking it out of Gabrielle's hand, "Why are you marrying my annoying brother again?"

Laughter rang out.

"You can use it on those long lonely nights when Ares is on a business trip," the Goddess of Love said.

"Oh I couldn't," Gabrielle said, "isn't that sort of cheating?"

Hera snorted.

"He'd rather you use that than entertain another man in your chambers," Athena said, "For all his modern ways he's very old-fashioned and possessive."

"I could use one of those when I have to live with my mother," Persephone said, "Hades would just arrange for whatever man I slept with to be killed early and send him to Tartarus because he dared touch what was his."

"Again! Too much information," Aphrodite shuddered along with Artemis and Athena. She waved a hand in the air as she said, "I'll make you one."

After opening some other gifts the ladies started dancing and singing. They were doing a dance Aphrodite called the 'Macrena' when Gabrielle heard her name.

"Xena! You came!" the happy woman ran up to her best friend.

"I'm not staying,"

"Oh," her happy smile faded, "Why are you here then?"

"I have a present for you,"

"Really?" her mood lifted again. Maybe she was coming around.

"Yes. Can we talk?

"Sure,"

"Somewhere quiet. Let's go for a walk,"

"Okay. I'll be right back," she ran over to Aphrodite and told her that she was leaving with Xena. The goddess tried to talk her out of it, but she just hugged her and hurried over to where the Warrior Princess was standing.

They walked in silence until Gabrielle prompted Xena.

"I need to talk to you about this farce of a wedding,"

"It's not a farce!" she snapped and turned away.

Xena stopped her by grabbing her arm. Looking down at her she said fiercely, "After all we've been through together you'll do me the courtesy of listening to me."

"Fine,"

Xena nodded then started walking again. "Joxer overheard Ares and Hercules talking."

"Of course they're talking. He's the best man,"

"Hercules is the best man? I didn't know that,"

'You would if you would talk to me' Gabrielle thought to herself unable to stop the flash of anger and hurt.

"That's not important," Xena shrugged, "what is important is what Ares told Hercules."

She took a deep breath and asked, "What was it?"

"He told him that he wasn't marrying you for love,"

That stung. Knowing it was one thing, but hearing it was another. She forced herself to shrug nonchalantly, "I already know this. Zeus was threatening to take away his godhood if he didn't marry."

Was it her imagination or did Xena just curse?

"Yeah, but apparently he never asked. You jumped on him before he could ask you for any names of suitable girls,"

Gabrielle's heart stopped. She flashed back and realized that he had never actually asked her. She had been so relieved he wasn't marrying Xena that she had basically offered herself.

"He never said anything," she whispered blinking back tears. She didn't like Xena's present one bit. In fact she wished she hadn't bothered to give it to her.

"He wouldn't. Apparently you're the spitting image of his dead fiancée. He told Hercules that he could only tolerate you because when he looks at you he sees his beloved,"

"I didn't know he'd been engaged," she managed surreptitiously wiping away a tear.

"You wouldn't. If you asked him he'd have to admit to himself that he's marrying the 'annoying brat of a bard' instead of the woman that he loves,"

Gabrielle turned and walked away. She didn't see the satisfied smirk break out on Xena's face. She walked blinded by tears until she reached the glade where she'd become Ares' fiancée. The place had been tainted for her now. She slid down a tree and curled into a fetal position.

She didn't know why she was so upset. It was a business arrangement between two people. Nothing more. She knew better than to expect Ares to love her. But that knowledge didn't stop the tears.

"Everything was a lie," she sobbed, "the laughing, the hugging, the kissing. It wasn't me. It was her,"

She curled herself even tighter. She felt like she wanted to throw up.

It was bad enough competing with Xena, but I can't compete with a ghost.

She fell asleep crying.