Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and my Sonia…

Chapter Five

She walked through the doors; she instantly felt all of the eyes on her. Tears began to sting her eyes, yet she refused to let them fall. She quietly made her way over to the Gryffindor table, sitting as far away from the other students as possible, especially Him. She didn't want to see him, talk to him, or even hear his voice. She was so confused, it had happened before, but why did it matter now? Why did it affect her so much?

From the moment she had first seen him, she felt a deep connection, it was always they're eating away at her. Every time she saw him with another one of those girls, she felt her heart shatter. She hated every moment of it, why did she care so much? And then there was last night.

Last night someone actually had reached out to her in a kind way that had seemed so genuine and not out of pity. But even he was driven away. Instead Sirius called her Severus' whore. It had hurt and she didn't know why. Someone sat in front of her casting a shadow over her. "Go away." She said not looking up, but the shadow didn't move. She looked up to meet the dark grey eyes of Sirius Black. "What do you want? " She asked bitterly.

"I just wanted to talk to you." He said softly as her sat down. She moved her stuff and looked around, the hall was almost empty. She made to get up.

"I think you said everything last night. Leave me alone, Black. Go find another girl you can toy with." She said, remembering his words from last night. A lone tear escaped her eyes. Sirius saw and gently wiped it away before she could protest. Her eyes widened slightly as she took a step back.

"Look, I am sorry, I didn't mean to say what I did. I honestly didn't mean it." She froze. "Then why did you say it?" She whispered it so softly but it hit like a knife through his heart. Noticing the tension and the quietness, she walked away knowing he probably wouldn't have the answer.

He watched as her shoulders slumped and she walked away, her hand rising slightly towards her face. Why did he? He always made a fool out of himself in front of her and now his once chance to set it straight, he blew it. But then again he didn't know himself, why did he say it?

Later that night, he watched as the girl in his arms tried to kiss him, she was just company, he didn't even remember her name. It was better then Jeanne though. She shuddered. The girl smelt like cheap perfume, he practically wanted to gag. He looked over to see his best friend, James, with Lily. They had finally hooked up this year. James had been after her for so long. He never stopped thinking about her (or so he said), and always made a fool out of himself in front of her without meaning to. (Actually more like when he was trying to impress her.) Sirius remembered last year, the day before school let out for the summer holidays, when he had asked James why he didn't just find another girl. He had been so shocked at the answer. But in honesty he had never understood it… Flashback

Moony and Wormtail were sleeping already, but Sirius couldn't sleep. He crept downstairs to see James sitting there in front of the fire. He went and sat down besides his best friend.

"You know I was so sure she would say yes this time," James said, breaking the silence.

"Prongs, man, why do you do this to yourself, what is so special about Evans?" He asked.

"You wouldn't understand Padfoot, it's too hard to explain."

'Try me." Sirius said.

"I don't know, Pad, every time I see her I feel so… elated, like nothing else matters, and when she's not near I feel so, broken inside. She makes me feel like the king of the world when she looks at me and ever time I closes my eyes I can see her face and I can't help but smile. I don't what's wrong Padfoot, I just don't." James rested his head in his hands.

Sirius shook his head. "Maybe we should just get you checked by Madam Pomfrey." He joked trying to cheer him up, though still not understanding."

End Flashback

Sirius looked at James and Lily again, James looked so happy. He closed his eyes and saw Sonia. His eyes snapped open as he stood up knocking the girl to the ground. But that didn't matter. He had gotten the answer.

He had been jealous, because he was in love with her! He was in love with Sonia. He ignored the concerned calls of his best friends as he raced towards to library; he knew she loved it there.

She was just packing up when she heard someone shout her name. She turned around and shocked to see Sirius there, panting like he had run all the way from the tower. Her eyes narrowed. Grabbing her bag she made to walk past him but he reached out and stopped her. "I know why." He said. Her eyes widened she hadn't expected this, "Why?" She said softly.

"Because I was jealous of him. I was jealous of you talking to him but not me." He panted trying hard to catch his breath. "Why would you be jealous of him? You have had plenty of chance to talk to me but then again you were too busy doing something else if I remember right." She pulled her arm free and started to walk when she heard it.

"I was jealous because I'm in love with you…"

Please Review! I have the next Chapter ready it is just being edited at the moment… This chapter has also been edited. I know the changes are subtle but I think they will make the story more understandable.