This is My Heart

By: Hitokiri Musei

Rated: K+

Summary: After the battle ritual Atem readies to leave for the afterlife, but Yugi presents him with something that he never expected to get, and something that makes him re-think what he is doing.

This is how I believe the series should have ended, with a lot more love and a lot less leaving. I have rewritten most of the dialouge after the battle, but I did change some of the actions, and take a little liberty with how they react. Enjoy!

I dont' own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Now read the fluffy and rather pointless, but still cute, sequel, Did It Hurt!

Even as the blast hit Atem square on my knees grew weak and I hit the ground. I couldn't stand any longer, it was too much. 'What have I done…?'

I could hear his footsteps as he walked towards me, and then his deep smooth voice as he spoke. "Congratulations, well done."

I couldn't respond to him, the warm tears flowing down my face were choking me as I struggled to regain the breath that seemed to have escaped me. I sobbed softly, my hand clenching slightly where it rested against the cold stone beneath me.

I felt Atem's warm hand on my right shoulder, and I saw his knees and firm torso come into my view as he knelt in front of me. "Yugi, a champion doesn't belong on his knees. You achieved a great victory for us both."

I was finally able to speak, but my voice was choked with tears and nearly cracked. "I was so busy focusing on the game… that I forgot what winning this duel would actually mean… by defeating you I've sent you away…for good…" The tears continued to flow down my face, dripping onto my hands.

To my surprise Atem's voice was full of a smile when he spoke next, his hand tightening slightly as he squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. "No, you have opened the door for me. Thanks to you my spirit can finally be at rest once again. I'll be back where I belong."

As he said this I felt some part of my heart screaming out, hoping that he was going to take it back. But he did not. 'You don't belong there!' my heart cried. 'You belong here, with me!'

He continued to speak, the smile ever present in his smooth, deep voice. "Fate brought the two of us together for a reason, and we fulfilled our destiny."

I finally looked up at him, meeting his beautiful crimson eyes. There was true thanks and joy shining in those depths, and some part of my heart died. I knew that he truly wanted to go to the afterlife, and I knew then, that if I truly loved my yami, then I would let him go, no matter what pain it would cause me.

Atem raised his other hand, clasping it gently on my other shoulder. "We protected mankind from the return of the Shadow Games, and we've both grown tremendously along the way." As he said this he stood, and I reflexively followed him to my feet, if only to keep the contact he had on my shoulders. I wanted to continue to feel his warm touch; I never wanted to lose the feel of his touch.

"I'm gonna miss you…" I managed to murmur with a rather straight voice, though tears were still flowing down my face.

To my shock Atem took a step closer, wrapping his strong arms around me and putting his cheek against my ear. Since he was taller than me his chin was hovering about an inch above my left shoulder, but I could feel the warmth from his breath even through my clothes and the distance between his lips and my shoulder. He was warm, and my body felt stifling hot as he embraced me tenderly.

His voice was soft as he spoke next, full of a tenderness that I had almost never heard from my yami. "You do realize we'll never truly be apart, right?"

I gasped in shock, my hands twitching where they hung down by my side, my arms pinned to my body by his embrace. My violet eyes stared at the wall behind him, my chin against the cloth of his blue jacket on his right shoulder. His warmth burned my skin, but I welcomed the sensation.

"The kindness you've given me, and the courage I've given you will remain with us, and that will forever bind us together." Atem murmured, releasing me and taking a step back so I could see his smiling face.

I stared at him for a moment more, and then I grew serious, nodding sharply. Inside my heart was tearing into small pieces as I tried to put on a serious outlook, if only for his sake. I had to make him believe that I was perfectly okay with this, even though in reality, I was screaming for him to stay. "Right…"

At that moment the Eye on the door began to glow brightly, throwing it's light out over us. Everyone looked up, and my eyes traveled to the door as I realized what it meant. The afterlife was calling Atem home, and my Pharaoh would answer that summons without doubt.

I could hear my friends speaking, but I didn't register their words, I was too busy watching Atem as he turned away from me, walking to stand in the center of the large stone doors, staring into the Eye with a determination that was always set on his face, the determination that had made me fall in love with him.

"The time has arrived." Ishizu called out, taking a step forward. "Tell the Eye of Udjat your name."

Atem did not hesitate to speak, his voice ringing out confidently and full of pride. "I am the son of King Aknamkanon. My name is… Atem!"

The door began to open, a shining ray of light pouring out from it as Atem stared confidently into its bright depths. I could feel my heart breaking in my chest, but I remained silent. For Atem's happiness, I would let him leave me, no matter how much I wanted him to stay.

The wind that came from the door opening caused Atem's hair, so like my own, to sway and brush with the breeze. I watched as his golden bangs danced over his gorgeous face, brushing over his skin tantalizingly. I swallowed thickly, struggling to keep my feet planted to the ground.

As soon as the door opened wide enough Atem took a step forward, walking straight and proud into the door to his resting place. He walked with set shoulders, and I knew that he was happy, going to where he was meant to be.

And yet…

"PHARAOH!"

Atem stopped, his shoulders sinking a bit, and I knew that he was surprised.

"Don't go!" Tea cried out, and with her words I felt my heart lurch. I was aching to cry out those same words to Atem, and I ran forward to stand just behind my Pharaoh as he paused, waiting to hear our words.

"So that's how it ends, huh?" Tristan called out. "Nice! You think you can just show up and change everybody's life, and then just leave?.!" I watched out of the corner of my eye as my friend covered his eyes.

My tears accelerated and I turned my head, bringing up my forearm to wipe at them, though it would do no good. I looked back up to see Atem's shoulders sink slightly in sadness as he listened, though he did not turn around.

I spoke next, unable to stop myself. "What Tristan means is, we don't wanna say goodbye…" I said softly.

Tea spoke after me, her eyes closed as she struggled to hold back her tears. "Exactly. Pharaoh… I know walking through that door means your spirit will finally be free, that it's all for the best, but it doesn't seem fair! I mean, I feel like we were all just getting to know you! In fact you were just beginning to get to know yourself! And now you're being taken away from us!"

As Tea spoke I watched Atem's shoulders sink lower and lower as her words struck a cord somewhere deep within him. I felt a tugging on my heart, something in me screaming for me to run after him, to continue with what Tea was saying, but she went on.

"I know we should be happy for you, but it's really hard to do that when you're losing your best friend, and you just don't understand why it has to be that way!" Tea broke off for a moment, tears starting to flow freely down her cheeks.

"I guess there are some things we're not supposed to understand…" Joey murmured, his eyes down, covered by his blond bangs. "Just look at me, I go through half my life not understanding what's going on." His voice grew burdened by tears here. "But I know that true friends may be hard to leave, but they're impossible to forget! And even though his stay wasn't as long as we would have liked, we're lucky we knew him at all."

It seemed as though my friends had accepted Atem's leaving them. I saw Atem raise his head, and I knew that he was getting ready to start forward once more. I saw my chance, and my heart finally got me to move.

I was running before I'd even realized I'd started to move.

I met Atem's back at a run, my arms wrapping around his strong waist and my face burying against his back as my tears began to soak his jacket. I felt him stiffen, but he did not try to pull away from me as I held onto him. "Please…" I murmured. "Please don't leave me…"

"Yugi…"

"I know what you're going to say!" I cried. "I know that you want to go back, and I know that it was meant to be this way, but it just doesn't seem fair! You are my everything, mou hitori no boku, you are all that I ever wanted to be and to have! I don't want to lose you; I was just getting to know you better, to understand you! I don't want to lose you!"

In my babbling I had reverted to calling him my other self, and I felt him flinch when those words left my mouth. It had been some time since I had called him my other, and I knew that it was those words that really made him stop what he was thinking. He didn't speak; I seemed to have cut off what he wanted to say before he could even begin to do so.

I snuggled my face against his back, ignoring the fact that my tears were soaking the back of his jacket. "Please…"

I felt him move, and then his hands gently pried my arms from around him, and he turned in my grasp, his beautiful crimson eyes sad as he looked at me. "Yugi… I have to go…"

I shook my head fiercely, my tears flying off my face as I did. "You don't have to go anywhere!" I looked up at him, my violet eyes wide and shining with hope and begging. "Please, Atem, my yami, stay with me. Light cannot exist without the Dark, and I cannot exist without you!"

Atem was staring at me silently, his crimson eyes hard and cold. He didn't speak, merely stood with his hands on my shoulders, but I could feel his fingers kneading my skin slightly. After a few moments he turned his head, looking over his shoulders towards the light streaming from the doorway. "Yugi… I belong there… It calls my spirit home… I go to where my Father and the Pharaohs that came before await me, to where my friends are…"

I shook my head. "NO! No, you DON'T belong there! You belong, here, with ME! We are your friends, and I cannot live without you!" I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around him once more. "Please, mou hitori no boku!"

Atem was still and silent, his head down. I sighed, realizing that no matter how much I begged, my yami had made up his mind. So I did the last thing I could, the only thing I could.

I kissed him.

I leaned up and pressed my lips to Atem's warm mouth, moving my mouth against his desperately, hoping beyond hope that he would realize what I was asking, and what I was giving him. My eyes closed, but I could sense his wide crimson eyes staring at me as our lips remained in contact, and I faintly heard the gasps from behind us.

I pulled away slowly, wanting to linger on his sensual mouth as long as I could. I reached down then, grasping Atem's hand and wrapping my fingers around his. I held his hand to my chest, where my heart was pounding in my ribcage.

I smiled, the tears flowing down my face even faster. Closing my eyes, I looked back up at my yami. "This is my heart, Atem. I give it to you, to do with it what you will."

With that I turned, dropping his hand and walking away from him, my face down. I was down to my last resort, if this didn't work, then it was true that Atem and I were never meant to be together.

I didn't feel him walking after me, and my heart tore. 'He doesn't love me…'

"Yugi!"

I stopped, standing where I was, silent.

"Yugi…"

Slowly, I turned my face to him, and then I was shocked to the core. Wetness was trailing down Atem's cheeks, falling to soak the collar of his shirt and trailing down his throat. He raised his face, and then smiled through those tears. He didn't say anything more; he simply opened his arms, raising them to me.

I stared for a moment, and then my face broke into a wide smile, and I ran for him, leaping into his arms and snuggling into his embrace. We cried, holding onto each other in the wake of the large stone door, and after a while I leaned back from him, staring up into his beautiful face.

"Atem?" I questioned softly.

"You gave me your heart Yugi," he murmured. "And I take it with love, and in order to pay for that gift, I give you my own heart." He smiled widely.

I smiled brightly, almost knowing what he was going to say next.

"I choose to stay."