Chapter 4

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Dia considers it a matter of self-preservation, to not get involved in the romantic affairs of others.

It hasn't been a tremendous issue in the past, because Gina, effectively her only friend for the first nineteen years of their lives, has had no more interest in romance than romance had in her.

It's a little more of an issue, when she finds out that her sense of self-preservation extends to avoiding her own love life, and she finds herself running, terrified, when she sees that dark-haired Kurt boy with the beautiful dark eyes. But he seems very patient, still coming everyday for the few seconds he can see her, and smiling at her just before she bolts whenever they meet outside.

So maybe things will work out, given time.

But when Gina comes pelting back into the Sanitarium and leaps directly into bed to hide, sobbing, under the covers, it isn't the kind of situation where she can take her time and wait for things to work themselves out.

Especially when she suspects that it has something to do with the doctor.

She's trying very hard not to jump to any conclusions – he's a very nice man, and he's been so kind and attentive with Gina. Her best-friend-forever needs more friends like him.

For that matter, she wouldn't mind having more friends like him.

But she's been told all her life that she's a very observant girl, so it's only natural that she's noticed that recently, the doctor has been looking at Gina like he doesn't want her for only a friend, in spite of a pretty brunette hanging on his arm every spare second and making her fear for her life when the doctor is taking a blood test.

And it's hard not to notice, even for people less observant than Dia, that Gina always blushes when he smiles at her, and touches her, and comes up very closely behind her to show her the right way to do something.

But Gina doesn't cry over normal things, like sad books and unrequited love. She saves her tears for guilt and shame.

She's a funny girl that way.

So what on earth has her so upset all of a sudden?

"Gina," she calls quietly to the girl lying facedown in the cot in the homey, prettily decorated little room away at the back of the building. "What happened?"

A sniffle, and the little apron-clad shape drags herself into a sitting position, dashing away tears with the back of her hand. A wobbly smile.

"Nothing, Dia, it's all right

Dia crosses her arms and surveys her best friend and attendant skeptically.

"Of course, because you come tearing back home and shut yourself up in your room to cry over nothing all the time."

Gina curls in on herself a little more and looks away, and with a small sigh of irritation, Dia crawls onto the cot and enfolds her in a soothing hug.

"I won't leave you alone until you tell me what's going on, you know.

"I don't really want to talk about it," Gina mutters, cuddling obediently up to her friend after a brief rendezvous with her handkerchief.

"Then give me the basic outline," Dia urges, tugging playfully at one of Gina's braids. "Just so I know if I have to go beat anyone up for you." The next instant, she's pouting as Gina laughs. "What, you don't think I could?"

Gina gives another little giggle, and despite this very disturbing insult to her personal strength, Dia can't help but smile. Even if she is having her air supply choked off just a little bit by Gina's affectionate nature. She laughs, vaguely like a wheeze, and waves off Gina's horrified apology.

"Now, are you going to tell me what happened? Sometimes it's nice to just say it out loud to someone and get another perspective."

A long pause.

"I think Robyn thinks I'm a floozy."

And now it's Dia's turn to laugh, no dainty little giggle, but a guffaw so loud and sudden that Gina winces.

"A floozy? You? You blushed when Eve gave you a hug."

"You'd better beat her up, Dia. I'll seduce her, and you get her from behind while her attention is on me."

"Smart-ass, I might believe," Dia huffs, crossing her arms as effectively as she can while they're around Gina. "But not floozy."

"She thinks I'm trying to steal the doctor from her."

Grimly,

"Ah."

"What?" Gina exclaims, alarmed at Dia's utter lack of shock at this mad idea. "You don't think I actually am, do you? I would never do that! All I've done is try to be friends with both of them! They're both wonderful people, and it means a lot to me that the doctor trusts me enough to confide in me about their relationship, but that doesn't mean I want him for myself! I think they're wonderful together, and I wouldn't want to disrupt that kind of happiness! Even if they weren't getting along, I wouldn't try to interfere, because it's not for me to decide for him what is and isn't a good relationship, and I think she's being awfully unfair to assume—"

"Gina!" Dia was raised not to interrupt people, but hysteria is hysteria, and what sort of friend would she be if she just let Gina dissolve into hysteria and make herself feel worse? "I don't think you're trying to steal the doctor. I know you've just been trying to be his friend. But I think you need to think about whether that's all he wants."

Gina blinks confused tear-wet eyes.

"Alex has a wonderful, sweet, lively, beautiful girl. What would he want with a—"

"A wonderful, sweet, quiet, beautiful girl who can nearly read his mind?"

"But he has Robyn!" Gina wails. "They were happy before we got here."

Dia says nothing. There was something about the way Dan's arm was wrapped around Robyn's waist when she saw them out walking the other day that makes her wonder, just a little bit, how happy Robyn is with the doctor. And the doctor is no fool; maybe he's wondered, too.

"Maybe I have been coming on too strong," the little nurse sniffles, happily letting Dia pull her into another hug. "I didn't think I was flirting, but maybe that's how it came across to him."

"I think," Dia begins cautiously, stroking her friend's hair, "that if anyone has been coming on strong, it's him. But I do think you've been a little too willing to overlook it."

Gina looks down, crestfallen.

"I—I have? I honestly don't think he means anything by it."

Dia hesitates. Likely, the doctor doesn't think he means anything by it, either. But how can she tell Gina, practical, precise, mathematical Gina, who believes that love is only a combination of pheromones, fear of abandonment, and good timing, that the doctor is well on the way to falling in love with her without even knowing it? That just sounds ridiculous, even to her, and she's the one who believes staunchly in love at first sight and soulmates.

"Robyn obviously thinks he means something by it," she finally replies firmly, waving off Gina's automatic protest. "And keep in mind, Gina, she does know him better than you do."

With one more heroic sniffle and swipe with her handkerchief, Gina buries her face in Dia's shoulder again.

"I don't know what to do. I like them both so much, and I love working at the Clinic, and I really want to keep being the doctor's friend." She straightens up, and Dia brushes at a teardrop clinging to her friend's nose. "But I don't want to harm their relationship!"

"I don't think there's any way to help that," Dia shrugs scornfully. "It seems to me that they're both very willing to be pulled apart. It's certainly not your responsibility to fix their relationship."

"I know, but—"

Patience finally snapping entirely, Dia attempts to stomp her foot, and fails utterly due to being curled up on Gina's bed.

"You can't blame yourself for everyone else's problems, Gina! And you can't spend your life trying to fix them! You have your own life, and your own dreams, and your own happiness to think about! You're learning a lot at the Clinic that's helping both of us, and I've never seen you this confident before. You can't give that up just because Robyn is finally starting to realize that some men won't settle for being her boyfriend when, and only when, it suits her." She winces at Gina's startled look, recalling a little too late that Robyn's possible feelings for a man other than the doctor is still purely conjecture. Forcing a smile, she pulls the hankie gently out of Gina's hand, holds her chin firmly, and swipes delicately at the tears marring the other girl's translucently pale skin. "What I mean is, you're under no obligation to rearrange your life just because Robyn doesn't trust her boyfriend."

"I know, Dia," Gina finally sighs. She opens her mouth to say more, then stops and seems to deflate. With a weak smile, she disentangles herself reluctantly from Dia's arms. "I should get your tea ready."

Dia makes a face.

"I think I would almost prefer the chest congestion."

"Dia! It's not that bad!"

"Why don't you try a little?" Dia sniffs playfully.

Gina shoots her a wobbly little smile.

"What if I put honey in it? Do you think that might help?"

Dia squeezes her hand gratefully.

"It might. Thank-you, Gina."

As the light footsteps retreat and the door clicks shut, Dia flops back on Gina's bed, heedless of the wrinkles no doubt forming in her pretty green and gold brocade skirts.

If I ever fall in love, she thinks with a long sigh, dark eye, a tiny quirk of a smile, and a perpetual cloud of sawdust drifting through her mind, it might finish me off for good.

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