Hey there, people on the other side of the screen. Yes, I'm alive!
For a complete apology concerning the embarrassing delay for this chapter, please refer to the Red Notes at the very end of the page. And while you're at it, please feel free to read the rest of the Notes----they're not as scary as they seem.
Thank you all so much for reviewing and being so very wonderful! You have no idea how big a motivator each review is-----I'm truly, truly grateful!
I own nothing, and y'all StarRobin shippers should be thankful I don't. Ha. Please don't sue me.
Finally, rating for this chapter is…same as the rest of the fic. Ha. That's me trying to cover up for the fact that I don't get the new ratings…Since it's been so long and this takes off right were Ch.5 ended, you might wanna re-read the last scene from Ch. 5----I believe it's like 7 sentences long or something. Or if you'd rather not, just remember: When we left out heroes, Robin was dressed up as Batman and had just been slapped by one very emotional Starfire.
Okay, nothing further…you can just scroll down now.(PS: My eternal battle for indenting continues. Apologies for the inconvinience)
"What is the meaning of this?" Starfire's voice was hushed with barely-repressed anger. In front of her, Robin looked struck. Though she herself couldn't understand why the sight of Robin in Batman's uniform represented such a deep betrayal, she never once stopped to question the rage that bubbled inside her.
"Yeah, man, what's going on? Now you change your name and don't even tell us?" Cyborg's protests were loud behind her.
"Look, guys---" Robin began, but was interrupted by Best Boy as he excitedly stroked the exterior of the car.
"Dude, now that you're Batman, can I take the Batmobile out for a spin?" Robin blinked, taken aback by the question.
"I'm not------" He hastened to explain.
"Can't you take anything seriously, you little grass stain!" Slapping Beast Boy's head, Cyborg focused back on Robin----or was it Batman now? Stupid spiky-haired kid and his personality disorders…
"Hey, wow, no need to be rude. I don't get why you're all so tense….what's you're problem?" said Beast Boy. This has to be deliberate; nobody can be this oblivious, Raven thought, and came to the realization that perhaps she was right. Starfire's voice interrupted her evaluation, but she made note to continue with that train of thought later.
"I will gladly inform you of our predicament: Robin has decided to abandon us!" Starfire answered. How melodramatic, Raven observed, quickly tiring of the redhead's taste for the limelight.
"I'm not abandoning anybody! I'm----" Deep, calming breaths. Deep calming breaths.
"You already did------or will Batman lead the Titans now?" What's with Cy? Robin wondered. He understood Star's hostility----but why was Cyborg so wound up? The word 'abandon' seemed to have struck a nerve in him. Perhaps…
"Will you let him finish, you idiot!" Whoa, Rae, easy, girl----since when is she so feisty? Beast Boy blinked. Feisty? What is she-----a horse?
"Now, Raven, that's uncalled for!" Beast Boy thought Cyborg's protest sounded distinctly girly, but chucked it up to it being little past six in the morning.
"Nobody is addressing you, Raven. You have already participated enough in this affair-----I urge to keep to yourself!"
"Look, you----" Raven started. Seriously, the nerve of that little…
"Hey, what's you talking about? What'd Rae do?" Again, Cyborg felt the tell-tale chill of an old argument, and silently wondered what exactly he'd missed in his absence.
"Dude, I surge to stay clear of that…" Beast Boy knows, Cyborg realized.
"That's urge, idiot…" Raven promptly corrected, the undercurrent of mockery barely suppressed.
"That's uncalled for-----" Dude, I'm doing it too… "----'sides, why are you complaining? I'm on your side!"
"Oh, so you are on her side?" Beast Boy winced. Perhaps that hadn't been the smartest comment.
"No, I just meant that I was covering her----" he desperately glanced around for a sympathetic face, and that's when it hit him that there was nobody on anyone's side. Well, maybe Raven on Robin's, but he didn't really know that, did he?
"Covering what, y'all? And since when do either of you have a side?" Quickly tired of being the only one out of the loop, Cyborg put on his best 'no-nonsense' face and waited expectantly.
"Nothing!" Robin sounded exhausted, and more than a little frustrated. "Can we get back on topic?"
"Why are you so anxious to get your ass pounded?" Cyborg asked. Robin frowned, and his glare was a tenfold more intense without that blasted white eye mask.
"There will be no ass pounding because I'm not Batman!"
"Not yet..."
"Do you really think I would take that big a decision without at least talking it over with you guys?" Robin answered in a voice that reeked of disappointment, and his eyes had a sad glaze to them. He noticed Cyborg shifted uneasily under his gaze. Interesting…
"Why not? You have done it before! Besides, I am quite certain you have already consulted it with Raven and therefore need not our counsel!" Deep calming breaths. Deep calming breaths.
"Okay, time out! What's the deal with you girls?" Cyborg cried out, finally desperate.
"Dude, Ix-nay…." Beast Boy whispered out of the side of his mouth. Raven raised an eyebrow.
"No, I'm getting sick of this! What is up with you two?" Cyborg's eyes landed on Robin. "Or should I say three?"
"There is nothing going on-----I'm just bored with Star trying to cram Robin to fit her rather narrow view of the world. And so is he."
"Be quiet, Raven. Just because you slept with Robin doesn't mean you know his mind! Or his heart!" Tears were rolling down Star's cheeks, but rather than softening her appearance they only seemed to strengthen what she undoubtedly considered 'righteous anger' but was in reality closer in semblance to 'murdering rage'.
"Whoa, hold on! You two slept together?" Cyborg blinked; whatever he'd been expecting, it… should have been exactly this. Stupid, stupid, stupid; what else could it have been?
"That's none of your business." Raven's eyes flashed dangerously. Robin just pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.
"If it's affecting the team, then it is very much my business." Cyborg answered, not about to let Robin off the hook.
"Wasn't talking to you, Cy." Raven glared pointedly at Starfire, who sniffed but held her gaze. Raven turned back to Cyborg. "Although now that you bring it up…"
"Is it true?" Better make sure, Cyborg thought, trying to stare the two birds down.
"What, you doubt my word?" Star cried, outraged.
"Would you just let them answer the question!"
"Fine; yes, it's true." Robin laid back against the Batmobile, arms crossed.
"Wow----I'm---I'm shocked! Aghast. Really."
"Shut up, Beast Boy." Nobody argued that. Then,
"Rob, you're a dead bird----I'm gonna sonic cannon your ass from here to Metropolis!" Cyborg growled.
"Dude, what's that about? Wait-----are you in love with Raven?" Beast Boy yelled, clearly taken aback.
"No, I'm not in love with Raven, you little idiot!"
"I don't think I'm following…"
"Raven, how could you be so stupid, you know what he's like!"
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Robin stood back up.
"It means that I don't trust you near Rae----or any other girl for that matter. Clear enough?"
"Humor me, Cy----what exactly are you rambling on about?"
"You're fickle, Robin, and that's not precisely a good quality. So you want Raven today-----tomorrow you'll have set your eyes on someone else!"
"Dude, you sound like a girl." And that's twice in one night.
"Where are you pulling this shit out of? I'm not fickle!"
"Oh, really? Then why's Star crying?" If looks could kill… well, Robin wouldn't need all those birdarangs. "Of course, that's excluding the fact that you're incapable of anyone coming before your precious 'Mission'."
"Dude, you making fun of the 'Mission'?" Beast Boy was now truly desperate to break the tension; he didn't like at all where this argument was heading.
"Cyborg, stop it. I appreciate the concern but I can take care of myself." Said Raven, her voice tight but calm.
"Apparently not." Sigh. Glare. "Seriously, man, I thought they were your friends…"
"They are, you idiot!"
"Then why are you jerking them around like that?"
"I'm not!"
"Could've fooled me…"
"Lay off, man. This has nothing to do with you---------I'm sorry that Star's hurt," Robin spared a look at the beauty, and felt a knot clog his throat. "But that's hardly a topic fit for a team discussion."
"I'm not talking about Star right now------and I'm sorry, but it is my business if my friend Raven thinks you love her when I know for a fact you're bound to change your mind, just like you've had about every other girl!"
"Like there've been so many…" Beast Boy scoffed. Cyborg ignored him, even though he spoke the truth, and continued.
"Look, Cyborg, enough's enough!" Raven snapped. "I don't give a damn about who Robin does, doesn't, has, had or will love." As an afterthought, she added, "Whoever mentioned love, anyway?" Shrugging it off, she barked, "This is as much my doing as his---------stay out of it!"
"Raven, you need to understand---"
"Cyborg, that's it. We're not discussing this anymore." Robin intervened. "I don't know what's up with you----you're making a fuss out of nothing. Half of what you're saying doesn't even make sense, for goodness' sake!"
"Oh, what, you're suddenly the Boss again?" Cyborg taunted, moving off topic.
"What do you mean, again?"
"Well, I thought you'd walked out on us?" Robin's eyes narrowed at how childish Cyborg was being. Immaturity, while not completely alien to the technological genius, was not something routinely in his behavior-----it almost seemed…as if he was trying to…
"For the last time-----I did not! I am not!" Robin was fast loosing his patience. Taking a deep breath, he tried to regain some semblance of calm----and then did something he'd never had done under other circumstances. "Besides, you're one to talk…" Cyborg went pale.
"What is he talking of, Cyborg?" Starfire questioned.
"How do you know?" Cyborg's voice was quiet, almost defeated. From the look the Boy Wonder had given him, Cyborg felt certain his secret was out. A strange relief filled him, partially numbing his body.
"I guessed." Yeah, he would, Cyborg admitted with more fondness than he'd be willing to admit in his current anger.
"Dude, what's going on? What'd Rob guess?" Beast Boy thought he could sense Cyborg's answer, if only from the dread that was currently accumulating in the mouth of his stomach.
"Go on. Tell them." Robin said, not unkindly. The fight was over----just like that----, Cyborg realized, even if the resentments hadn't all been worked out. Well, Star's, at any rate------but he doubted anything save Robin, a lot of time, and a very long, awkward chat would solve that. Taking a deep breath, he suggested,
"Why don't we go back upstairs, and I can tell you slow?"
"No, Cy." Beast Boy's voice was like steel. "Do it now." Cyborg shrugged.
"Fine." He stared at the cave floor. "I'm getting married----me and Bumble Bee, that is." A surprised silence followed his announcement. Then,
"What's the catch?" Beast Boy's voice was as stony as he'd ever heard it.
"I…I'm leaving the Titans. We, Bee and me---both of us agreed…that's it's…it's the best thing to do." The words were hardly out of his mouth when----
"That's it-----I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! This is it, isn't it? The Titan's are breaking up."
"The Titan's are not breaking up, Beast Boy. Cyborg's free to make his choice, and-------" Robin's patient voice was interrupted.
"Now, but we are! Cyborg's leaving, you're leaving too----"
"I'm. Not. Leaving." Robin muttered through gritted teeth.
"Please, Rob, I'm not stupid! Someone's gonna have to take over Gotham, and we all know that's your home! Who else can? Jump City, the Tower----they're nothing against Gotham and Wayne Manor to you!"
"Beast Boy, that's----"
"And I'll bet Raven's staying here 'cause I've never seen her like I've seen her today and now I know why she's different-----so what's left? Star and me?"
"Shut up, Beast Boy, and let------"
"And even then, it's only Star, 'cause, of course, I'm breaking down and-----"
"What?"
"This freaky, stupid, genetic thing—---it's acting up and I can't control it! But it doesn't matter! I won't let you break the Titans up, I won't! We're the best thing ever, you can't take it away, I wont let you!" Beast Boy's yelling suddenly deformed into a low growl. His bones cracked and engorged, his face contorted and changed, hair covered his body. The growl became a holler, and a giant green gorilla suddenly charged at the remaining for Titans. For half a second, nobody reacted. Then,
"Titans, go!" Not needing to be told twice, Starfire pushed hard against the floor of the cave and took off into the air. Simultaneously, Raven levitated up and to the right, her shadow self already a dark aura around her. Cyborg rolled to the left, activating his sonic cannon on the way, stopping on bent knee and taking aim at the furious green ape. Robin flipped backwards, landing on the roof of the Batmobile, a batarang in hand.
Beast Boy didn't wait for them to assume attack positions. With a powerful yelp, the shape-shifter launched himself against the nearest target----Robin. A blast from Cyborg's cannon missed him by inches and singed the hair on his back. Growling, he morphed into a rhinoceros and continued his charge. The next blast bounced right off his tough hide exactly as he rammed horn-first into the side of the Batmobile, off which Robin had somersaulted mere seconds earlier. Not about to miss such proximity, Robin showered the green changeling with gas pellets. With smoke rising quickly around him, the shape-shifter became a mighty pterodactyl and flew straight for Starfire.
"Please, Friend, I beg you to cease! I do not wish to harm you!" Starfire did her best to dodge her friend's attacks, a task made only more complicated by the sheer number of white-blue blasts Cyborg kept shooting from the floor and Raven's flying artillery. The pterodactyl dived, and Star looked left----and spotted Raven. Quick as anything, she flew in the empath's direction and straight past her. Raven stood her ground, enveloping the green pterodactyl in an aura of shadow and stopping him dry. The prehistoric bird looked stunned for a second, then shape-shifted into a huge, big-bellied beast with stout, crooked horns, long spiked tail, and giant, leathery wings. Robin felt his mouth go dry.
A dragon.
The transformation took Raven by surprise, making her drop her guard enough that the changeling managed to shoot a yet of brilliant flames at her. Luckily, she managed to evade it almost completely----except for part of her right leg and side. Raven let out a hiss and a curse, inadvertently letting the formidable beast free. The dragon didn't waste a second, launching himself in quick pursuit of the demoness. His chase, however, was abruptly cut short by an unexpected weight on his back as Starfire dropped Robin over the behemoth. Immediately sensing trouble, the dragon bucked and twisted, trying to throw the Boy Wonder off his back and successfully preventing from finding out 'where the hell Bruce kept the sleeping darts'. Unexpectedly, one of Cyborg's blasts made found its mark in the beast's soft under-belly; giving a sharp cry, the mighty creature jerked painfully and dropped. Halfway down it became a falcon, successfully leaving Robin with nothing to stand on. The changeling landed somewhat gracefully on the ground, immediately morphing into an abnormally large T-Rex. The Boy Wonder dropped right beside him, managing a shoulder roll that broke most of his fall but nevertheless left him slightly stunned.
Whether the prehistoric lizard noticed this condition or simply labeled him as the closest target, it nevertheless made to take the Titan leader in his huge jaws. Seconds before the dinosaur reached his mark, Starfire swooped down and came to a stop mid-air between the creature and the Boy Wonder and attempted to hold it back with a hail of starbolts. Behind her, a cloud of black enveloped and transported Robin a safe distance away. The masked hero shook his head groggily, and regained his sense just in time to see Starfire charge against the dinosaur, furiously attacking him with a shower of starbolts that seemed to cause him nothing but a minor ache. The Tamaranian narrowly escaped the giant lizard's jaws by twisting in the air and dropping closer to the ground------a mistake, as the reptile's heavy tail swung out just that second and pummeled her into the cave wall.
Starfire slid to the ground------quick, find those damned sleeping darts-------Cyborg's blasts useless against the reptile's thick skin------c'mon, c'mon….--------claws tearing into golden, bruised skin------where the hell are they?------half the equipment on the cave flying straight at the changeling, only making him stumble-----Finally!------Can't shoot, can't risk it; just run; put that in your mouth-------there, the hood of the Batmobile; jump; flip------damn slippery boots-------grappling hook----hold tight on the shoulder, on three----three!--- swing—--watch out for the teeth-----the throat's exposed---DO IT NOW!
The powerful dinosaur seemed unaffected, promptly shaking the Boy Wonder off and attempting to continue the task of ripping Starfire to shreds. The darts, however, were quick to work, making the T-Rex stumble dizzily, trampling some equipment on the way, before finally collapsing on the cave floor. As soon as it did, the green giant shrunk and changed, the green scales bubbling into hide and then hair---the crack of bones reshaping echoed across the cave----the neck lengthened, along with the forearms and legs------shortened back------he skull shrunk, changed shape------the hair became skin----the teeth were shrunk to nothing and then reappeared-----a moan, and it was Best Boy passed out on the Batcave floor.
A scramble-----Starfire; pick her up----Oh, God! Is that all her-----Quick, the Med-Lab-----no use, trampled-------T-Car, upstairs--------Oh, God, oh, God------need blood------her type?------alien--------take Beast Boy; you still have-----Pull harder; have to make it tighter------have to go, now-----is he going to be okay?------Alfred, please, we need------- Star, please------Raven, can't you------not yet, need to-------oh, God------the hell's the keys------Star-----stay, please----don't leave, Star-----
"You coming?"
The murder files----upstairs. The Cave-----wrecked. Batmobile------trampled. The disk------in the desk. The costume---------still in it.
"Of course."
He expected the infirmary to be empty, and yet wasn't at all surprised to see Beast Boy curled up in the only decent chair. He had pushed it up against the wall, as far from Starfire as possible. As if afraid of hurting her again. The skin around his eyes was swollen from crying, his entire frame tense and yet somehow frail, hollow. Spent. Robin didn't think he had noticed his arrival until he spoke in hoarse whispers.
"I did this to her."
"Yes."
"It's all my fault. I---I should've told you sooner… about what was going on. That I was loosing control again." As an afterthought, he muttered, "Jeez, I sound like Rae." Robin ignored the comment.
"Why didn't you?" Though it was worded as such, it was hardly an accusation.
"I dunno." The changeling sighed, rubbing his eyes----it was his first movement since Robin had entered the infirmary. "I was scared, I guess."
"You thought we'd kick you out if we knew?"
"No, no, nothing like that." He sounded so sure, Robin couldn't help but envy the unshakable trust Beast Boy obviously had in the rest of the Titans. "It's like…Last time, Cy said it would kill me----split my DNA and all that. I guess I figured as long as I didn't tell you guys, it wasn't real; just a fluke, even if it kept happening over and over again. Stupid, right?" he added with a sad smile.
"A bit, yeah." Robin agreed, returning the gesture. Then he dropped the face and told him honestly, "What happened to Star-----it's not your fault. It was a mistake."
"Yeah-----" Beast Boy answered, his bitter voice heavy with self-loathing, "mine."
"You can't blame yourself-----what happened was beyond your control."
"Of course I can blame myself----who else? The disease isn't my fault, but I lost control even before I transformed------I was crazy, dude, completely mad. I kept seeing red all over the place and I just----I just couldn't think straight. I transformed without thinking, even though I knew what was going to happen." He sighed, and ran a hand through his thick hair, leaving it standing on an end. "I dunno why I did it…" Beast Boy shuddered, and then fixed Robin with one the most intense looks he'd ever seen. "I lost control, Rob, me---Beast Boy. Not the 'Beast Within' or whatever the hell Cy calls it. Then I slashed Star into bits. Me."
A heavy silence followed his words. Robin was at a loss over what to answer. One thing was clear-----Beast Boy was not to blame for Star. But how can I make him see that? How can I make him understand that if anyone's blameless, it's he?
"In that case, wouldn't it be Cyborg's and mine's fault? And Raven's, even Star's?" Beast Boy looked puzzled. "We made you angry in the first place, after all." He clarified.
"Dude, that was stupid and selfish of me. I don't own you. If Cyborg's getting married, I should be happy for him----not feeling betrayed and resentful…" he trailed off, and Robin sensed there was something he'd left unsaid.
"But?" he prompted.
"But I do! I know it's awful, but that's how I feel!" Again, he ran his hand through green locks. "You don't understand, dude. The Titans are all I have----Mum and Dad are dead, and they were all the family I had----until I hooked up with you guys. You're like the brothers and sisters and cousins I never got to hang around with----you don't know what it'd do to me if that ended.
"After they died," it was obvious he was talking about his parents, "I was all alone----oh, and a green freak, too. I had nobody, nothing to do with my life. The orphanages… Dude, you can't imagine how awful…" he broke off, "I don't even know how I got into heroics----I just sort of fell into it…That time, by the bridge, in Apex City-------do you remember? The bus driver, he had a heart attack or something…The bus went out of control, rammed into the railing, tipped over and fell to the river...You saw me transform, stop that bus, save those people… That was the first time I ever did something like that…I didn't even have a name then…" Beast Boy trailed off, and then his face changed, softened. He spoke of his parents again. "They were doctors, you know? They helped tons of people back in Africa." A small smile crept into his face. "Being a hero, helping people---it makes me feel close to them.
"But without the Titans, I wouldn't even have that. I can't do this on my own, Rob. I'm not like you. If the Titans end, I swear, that'd be….I wouldn't know what to do."
A pregnant silence followed. Robin stood uneasily, his mind whirling from everything Beast Boy had just said. He'd known all that stuff about his parents, and he'd guessed what the Titans meant to him…but hearing the changeling speak of it so passionately, it shook him. He wished he could comfort him, assure him the Titans were forever and he wouldn't ever have to worry about that… but he wasn't sure, was he, especially after today? And Robin couldn't possibly lie about something like that, couldn't bring himself to buy peace of mind with such a betrayal. Finally, he put a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder. The green hero didn't turn to look at him, only held his breath, half-dreading Robin's words.
"I'm sure you'd figure it out." Beast Boy let out his breath. He didn't know if he was relieved or disappointed. "You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, BB." He knows that. "And a lot smarter, too." Another pause, and then. "You should get some sleep."
"But Star…"
"You can't help her right now. And you need rest----" looking straight into Beast Boy's eyes, Robin added, "we can figure out the rest in the morning."
Beast Boy looked at him for a few seconds then smiled weakly and stood up. At the door, he paused. With his back to the room, he said, "Thanks, Rob."
Suddenly finding himself alone with the sleeping Starfire, Robin sighed. He grabbed the chair and noiselessly dragged it to Star's bedside. With another heavy sigh, the Boy wonder took a seat. He yawned, stretching his arms high above his head; it was hard to forget he'd had no more than four hours of sleep in the last couple of days. His eyes-----once again safe behind their mask-----fell on the slumbering Tamaranian.
Starfire was in a lot better shape than he'd originally anticipated after seeing the puddle of blood that she had lain on. There'd been some heavy bruising, a couple broken ribs, and abundant blood loss----but he'd been expecting far worse after the way the dinosaur had knocked her around. Robin knew her good condition derived mostly from her alien physiology-----besides being a lot stronger than humans, Tamaranians had over centuries and through heavy warfare developed a much more effective and rapid healing process. This included blood production almost six times faster than that of average humans------a very fortunate quality, as it would've been impossible to provide Star with a transfusion, seeing as how there were no other Tamaranians on Earth. Or at least, none he knew of.
Robin frowned; this was a dangerous situation. It's a wonder it hadn't come up before. In the future, he would have to look into a more…personalized version of the med lab.
The bruising was already fading. She'd needed stitches on most of the wounds, but they were all healing satisfactory now. Raven had already been in here, using her powers to mend her teammate's fractured bone. All in all, Robin expected Starfire to be up and about in a day.
She's beautiful when she's asleep. The thought took him by surprise------it'd been a long time since he'd stopped to think about Starfire as beautiful. He used to do so all the time, used to live half-blinded by her pretty, thin lips and spring—green eyes. She had always looked so… ethereal, iridescent. Like a stained-glass window which happened to have a laugh like an infant's.
Robin couldn't pinpoint the exact day he'd stopped looking at her and started seeing her-----the day his infatuation died. That had to happen, of course------but what about the day he'd stopped noticing her beauty? He couldn't help but think that day had been a bad one, a mistake, because it must've been that day that he'd forgotten how to enjoy it------not just her beauty, but everything else: laughing and playing and having fun just for the hell of it and not almost by accident.
Had Robin died that day?
Stop it, he told himself, you're being paranoid and obsessive. Besides, she was beautiful now------the curve of her cheek nestled in those long, delicate fingers and her hair like a halo around her head, soft breath escaping her strawberry lips and making her chest rise and fall gently------that had to be a good sign. Maybe….maybe he'd changed back. And…perhaps he had Raven to thank for that.
"I didn't expect your presence." Her voice startled him. He shrugged the surprise off while she carefully sat up and asked,
"You were faking sleep?"
"Yes." He frowned, more curious than confused.
"Why?"
"I did not know how to comfort friend Beast Boy." Her admission was soft and heart-warming, and Robin could tell it made her uncomfortable.
"I see." Pause. "If it makes you feel any better, neither do I." It was true.
"It doesn't." She looked away, to the small window in the corner, and held herself. Her voice became even softer, almost as if she had to say it but didn't quite want Robin to hear it. "Everybody should have someone to comfort them."
"….you're right, of course." What else could he say? He cleared his throat, glancing half-heartedly around the room for something else to add. This wasn't a conversation he was looking forward to. Finally, "Look, Star-----"
"I remember dancing." She cut him off, not only with her statement but with the powerful wave of longing he felt from her. Taken aback, he stuttered,
"What?" Her eyes finally left the window and met his. They were filled with a profound sadness, yet remained dry. It was the calmest he'd seen her in days.
"Dancing. With you. After your date with that horrendous Kitten person and after she and her arachnid beloved had made amends." When Killer Moth held the city hostage and I had to take Kitten to the prom. He remembered. "You and I were alone on the boat the party had taken place in, and the music was still playing. I was feeling foolish and embarrassed by my earlier jealousy------but you asked me to dance. Do you remember?"
"Yes." He admitted. His throat felt raspy and dry. Of course he remembered.
"I had never danced before then-----but you made it quite simple. All I had to do was allow you to hold me, and you guided me through steps I do not remember even now-----though it was mostly swaying and closeness, was it not?" Robin produced a strangled noise that could've been a yes. "And then…you kissed me. It was neither the first time nor the last, but it is the one I treasure most." A tear slipped the corner of her eye.
"Star…" he changed seats in favor of the edge of the bed and made to hold her, but she held him off.
"Please, allow me to finish." Taking a deep breath, she continued, "I know you are in love with Friend Raven; I have even found a manner in which I can be joyful for the both of you. After all, is that not what one is supposed to be when one's best friend finds happiness?"
"Love? I don't know that I love her, Star…"
"But you will, Robin, do not doubt it. I saw you two together in the study," Was that a blush? "And I heard the way you spoke to her. In all the years I have known you, it is the only time I have seen you voluntarily display a weakness or show vulnerability. You might argue it was because of the circumstances but I am sure it is because of her. Raven has always brought out a different side of you, a much more…human one. You never worked to pose for her, to prove yourself like you did with the rest of us...like you did with me. I have always known this; I observed it even before I considered her a threat to our relationship.
"I know you wonder what changed that drove us apart------I also question that. That was not Friend Raven's doing, was it?" No, it wasn't-----wasn't I just thinking that? "I believe that change came from you------you grew up quicker, evolved more drastically. I could not keep up. Today, I mostly remain Starfire------but you have changed so greatly! You are Nightwing now, I think. Not the Nightwing I met in the future and had come to dread------a different one, who is still sweet, kind, and enough like Robin that I do not fear what his presence will bring…but Nightwing still."
"I'm sorry…" he whispered, unused to apologizing. What was he apologizing for, anyway? Changing? Their drifting apart? Raven? All three and more?
"Do not apologize for this-----you could not help it any more than I could. However, if you are apologizing for breaking my heart…then I will forgive you on two conditions." Was that the beginning of a smile on her lips?
"First, you must forgive my irrational behavior earlier. Better still, you must forget it completely and forevermore pretend it never occurred." Yes, of course that was a smile----a shy, small, somewhat melancholic smile, but a smile nonetheless.
"Done."
"Secondly…you must promise not to let the Titans fade. No matter what happens or where any of us goes, even if Cyborg contracts matrimony or you got to Gotham-----you will not let any of us forget who we are. We do not have to be together to be the Titans." Robin swallowed. This one was harder. But Starfire's eyes were glossy with hope, and wasn't that a condition he should have come up on his own? Forget the Titans… How could he, Starfire or no Starfire, allow that to happen?
"I promise." He'd figure out how to fulfill that promise when the time came…
"And…I have a third request. You are not obliged to grant it, but… I would like it if you did. You----Nightwing---are Raven's, now. But I remember dancing….and I think Robin was mine… That is all I want----Robin's last kiss. A goodbye. Could I have it?"
As he kissed her, chastely and sweetly, he remembered why she was beautiful, and couldn't help but feel a little beautiful himself. Starfire's lips were pure sunshine. Gotham City suddenly seemed so far away….had he really been almost ready to give up on the Titans? It seemed impossible to do so now…
Starfire broke the kiss, smiling.
"Thank you." She whispered, pulling away and laying back down on the bed. Robin watched her fall asleep before standing up and whispering,
"No, Star-----thank you." He left the Med Lab, feeling for the first time certain of what he had to do.
Red Notes:
I would first like to apologize for taking so long. I have no idea what came over me------okay, truthfully, I do. I was slacking off and reading JLA fics (they have nothing on TT fics, though!) I just had SO much trouble with the scene in which they're all arguing that I was frankly too depressed to try and pull it off. I must've written like four different versions of it….I'm still not quite happy with the way it turned out, but that was the best I had. Hopefully, it will do. Anyway, I'm sorry.
Concerning the argument scene----I know everyone was kind of overreacting and just being weird…especially Cyborg. But that's the way people (or at least the ones I am lucky enough to live around) react when they're very mad. You just don't care what you're saying, so long as you're saying something and it's hurtful. In Cy's case, of course, he was also feeling guilty about the whole abandonment thing, so that mixed up things a little bit.
I hope it didn't seem like the fight was resolved too easily. Trust me, it's just taking a break. Well, not really…the actual fight is mostly over with, but they still need to work a couple of things out in more…explosive-free disposition. Ch. 7 is like the other half of the resolution for the argument… It couldn't be all in here because then the chapter would've been too heavy and I hate that. (besides, I already feel like maybe there's a little too much info up there)
Beast Boy's background----I know that in the comic books he worked with the Doom Patrol and was adopted and all that…but I didn't see the point in putting all that in there. I fact, it kinda stopped the scene dead. Anyway, cartoon BB has no background so I guess it really doesn't matter…ha. Pointless Red Note? Like that's new.
The scene between Star and Robin-----I was just so sick of angst, I thought I'd make it cute. Well, not cute cute, but…just not so dark. I can't ever manage to do a dark!Starfire. I just love her so much when she's sweet…
The whole not noticing Star's beauty thing? Ha, it's another one of those things that sounded a lot better inside my head but translated a bit awkwardly into writing…it's like this: not taking the time to notice Starfire's obvious beauty is a symptom of Robin not taking the time to enjoy anything, of being so fixated on his mission and not failing his friends and his city(ies), of saving lives etc etc etc that he's stopped living. …Is it a bit clearer now?
Now, to any worried RobinRaven shippers-----it's not Starfire that made him see this, or change it. It might not be clear now, but that's all Raven. IT just so happens he noticed it by looking at Star…egh, just hold on for next chappie; it'll be clearer.
Yeah, I know…little to none RobRae in this chapter. Sorry, tried to cram it in there to the best of my ability but it just. Wouldn't. Fit. I'll make it up to you (and myself) in the next chapter; the scene's already written (and I love it!)
I think there's two chapters left to this story…plus maybe and epilogue. I already have like a third of the work for Ch.7 (all the stuff I hacked out of this one…), so it shouldn't take to long. Honest! Just give me a week to adjust to BEING BACK IN SCHOOL and trust me---you'll see it soon.
Oh, before I forget! I kinda think it's time I find a Beta, 'cause I'm working on this other story and you wouldn't believe how lousy my storytelling's being…Anyone interested, I would really appreciate it if you would contact me…uh, requirements? Good grammar and a LOT of patience.
I shall now shamelessly advertise my upcoming one-shot: Frost! Raven-centric, RobinRaven-----check my profile for details. Anyway, look out for it and be sure to tell me what ya think.
As always, thank you so much for reading. And extra points if you stuck through my rambli---er, Notes. I would love it if you'd press that cute button on the lower left corner and leave me a review-----pretty pretty please? Critique, praise, flames, suggestions and questions are always welcome----they, uh, make the world a better place?