Hey everyone. I don't own anything, not Avril, not Rogue and not alcoholics anonymous. I'm in the mood for some sick humor, so let's just go back in time to a year of ties and cropped pants.
Rogue was sure that hell was not in the center of the earth as theorist assumed and that it was in fact in the X Men household. She sat down in the middle of the lawn while all the girls walked around with ties around there necks and ugly platform sneakers. The boys were riding around with skate boards and the girls were cursing at each other with every word they spoke.
"Hey Kitty," Jubilee said. "Can you pass me the F...ing hot dog?"
"Sure Jubes. Want the F...ing ketchup too?"
Rogue sighed heavily and stood up as she made her way over to the barbecue where Logan was passing around food. She stopped in front of him and cocked a brow at his apron. It said "ILurve Skateboards".
"What are you F...ing looking at Stripes?" he said kindly, and gave her the meal. Rogue glared at him and went over to a rock to eat. She would be damned if she sat with them. The professor wheeled over on the grass and gave her a smile.
"Rogue…I've been meaning to speak to you about something important," he said. Rogue panicked slightly wondering if he had gotten his credit card bills or if he had heard of her escapades.
"Okay…g'head prof," she said. The Professor put his hand on her shoulder and smiled kindly.
"Well Rogue. I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to try to be," he made quotation marks with his fingers, "'hardcore.' Dressing up like a Goth and trying to be something that you're not is not a good way of expressing yourself. You should try to take examples of our students, who aren't afraid of being themselves."
She looked about and saw all the girls in their ties and the boys in their skateboards. The only one being real was Evan and he doesn't count because he's not a real x men, he was an evolution original, and not a good one at that, that miscreant…anyway, Rogue saw the clones and shook her head.
"Professor, ah am bein' mahself. Ya should be worryin' bout the rest of the team," she said and the Professor shook his head.
"Rogue, when one has a problem, they must let people know. Let me show you," the professor stood up and declared with all his might. "My name is Charles and I am crippled." He sat down again. "See?"
Rogue shook her head angrily and began to leave the backyard, she hated the sun anyway. She was on her way to the house when she heard her name on from the karaoke machine.
"Rogue," Jean said. "This song is for you…Why you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated Life's like this you And you fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it no no no. Rogue…just accept who you F...ing are…we F...ing love you."
"F... YOU!" Rogue yelled, understandably upset and gave Jean the finger. The Professor grabbed her by the ear from his wheelchair and took her to his office.
"Rogue, that was a very naughty word you said and I will not F...ing allow that in the institute! Go to your room and think about the B...y thing that you did today!"
Oh yeah…Rogue went to her room and she was making plans…
Avril was standing on a bridge, waiting in the dark; she thought that they'd be here by now. There's nothing but the rain, no footsteps on the ground, she was listening but there's no sound. Rogue noticed the girl standing there, quiet and alone and walked over to her.
"Hey…mah name is Rogue and ah sent you that note ta meet me," Rogue said with a kind smile. She tucked her hair behind her ear and was ready to talk about what was bothering her when Avril started talking to her.
"What the F... is it that you want? I'm F...ing hardcore! I Like to say F... all the time and make people uncomfortable. Do you see this F...ing tie? Do you! It makes me different from everyone! I mean it makes me F...ing different from everyone! I am a F...ing teen who was neglected as a child and whose parents where either too busy to teach manners, or too afraid to F...ing wash my mouth with soap and beat my F...ing A..! F... off!" Avril Lavigne said. She proceeded then to give Rogue the finger and walked depressingly away.
Rogue ran right after her with a butchers name and the wet ground was full of Fing red blood. Rogue then proceeded to donate the evidence to and sold all the ties in the institute on E-Pay.
The next morning Kitty shook Rogue awake and told her to come downstairs for a special morning edition of the news. Rogue took a shower and washed off all of the evidence before coming downstairs. There were censor blocks on all the mutants' mouths. The television came on.
"This is X.L. Trojan with the upcoming news. Avril Lavigne has been the next victim of the pop striker known as The Redeemer. She was found lying on a bridge and bleeding in the dark. When we turned her over her tongue was cut off and both the middle fingers on her hands and feet. Missing her most important body parts it is the end of a seemingly disturbing career of the young non-pop hardcore rocking career that she so F...ing started. In other news, Britney Spears has come out with a new alb-." The rest was cut off by Logan.
"What kind of &#&$ing sick pervert would do that to Avril?" he asked concerned. The rest shrugged and Kitty sighed.
"All I know is that they can just, like, &#&$ing kiss my A$$!" she said and everyone agreed. The professor then clapped his hands.
"Come on students. Get the &#&$ off the couch, we have to get ready for that stupid A$$ benefit concert tonight."
"What &#&$ing concert Professor?" Ororo asked.
"The one with &#&$ing Diana Ross! To the &#&$ing X-Jet!"
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