Everything On Our Own Chapter 3: I Don't Quite Know How To Say How I Feel, a gilmore girls fanfic

Everything On Our Own
By Gilmoregirl1979 (the reigning Quote Queen)

Rating: PG-13

Hi this is your friendly disclaimer: I REJECT ASP's/DR's REALITY AND SUBSTITUE MY OWN! Once again, I don't own (DAMN IT! DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!), No Harm No Sue.

R/R: yes please I love reviews; I wanna marry them (as previously stated, I have strange passions.)

LUVZ: I miss you!

FEATURED BETA: Localizy, a BIG Co Author credit to Localizy and her kick ass muse for helping me knock this one out. BABY you're the greatest!

A/N: Because I really love you guys, that's the only reason I continue…

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Chapter 3:
I Don't Quite Know How To Say How I Feel

Lorelai opened her eyes and smiled at the sweet face beside her first thing in the morning. "Hmmmmm, morning husband," she said, kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Morning," Luke yawned. He was still getting used to his new living arrangement and environment, although he greatly enjoyed waking up next to Lorelai.

"So how are you adjusting to married life?" Lorelai asked eagerly.

"I've been married before, you know."

Lorelai scoffed, "Yeah, but that was a really weird set of circumstances and you didn't even live together during your honeymoon period."

Luke pulled Lorelai closer, "Well, so far… I like this marriage much better, especially, well last night…" he added shyly. Luke had been surprised by Lorelai's unbridled libido upon their return to Stars Hollow, but then again, Luke always gave Lorelai what she wanted. Little did Luke know Lorelai had a promise to Emily to make good on.

Lorelai smiled a devious dirty grin over last night's encore performances, "Well, I want you to be happy with our married life. You know they say you have to keep the spark in the bed room…"

"And in the foyer? And in the living room?" Luke listed.

Lorelai giggled, "Well, otherwise seven years goes by and you forget to have sex, then Marilyn Monroe walks by and you lose your husband."

"I thought he stayed with his wife in that movie…"

"Please, that is just the happy puffed up Hollywood ending, in the real world he would have left with Marilyn Monroe."

"Lorelai," Luke started, attempting to talk to her again about moving when she was in such a good mood, "about the Twickham house…"

"When can we move in?" she asked anxiously.

"What?"

"When can we move in? We can tell the town we are living together in that big old house while we plan the big wedding for the town."

"I thought I wasn't allowed to see the bride before the wedding," he said slyly, easily getting side-tracked from his original intent.

"Well, you can stay at the diner the night before, but please Luke, I want our house, more than ever…"

Luke sighed, "Well, we have to try to pack up all your stuff, maybe have a yard sale…"

"You're funny," Lorelai smiled, knowing she'd never throw anything away.

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Luke sighed. He was tired from all the packing he and Lorelai were doing and he still had a business to run. During an afternoon lull, he decided to make an important call for Lorelai's sake, "Hey, Sookie could you help me?"

"Sure Luke, what's up?" Sookie said full of her usual sunshine.

From the sounds over the phone it sounded like she was still in the kitchen mixing or making something, "Well Lorelai and I are packing, you know to move to the new house…"

Sookie gushed, "I still can't believe she is giving up the crap shack."

"Yeah, well, she won't go into Rory's room and we kind of have to get Rory's stuff to her in Hartford before we can sell the house. Well… I'm not comfortable packing… you know…certain items…and considering her and Jess used to date…and you know the fact that she's a girl…"

"I totally understand. I can stop by tomorrow afternoon."

"Okay, great, we can work on the rest of the house, believe me there is plenty."

"Hey Luke…"

"Yeah"

"Well, umm I know this has kinda been fast, but… well, are you happy?" Sookie was worried for both her friends as she had been ever since they woke her up in the middle of the night for their elopement.

"What?"

"Well, with how things turned out, Lorelai, eloping, the new house, are you happy?"

"Yeah, I mean, mostly, I just wish…you know Rory…"

Sookie wrinkled up her nose and agreed, "Yeah I know. I just think it's a lot of changes at once, especially for you and well, if they are not back in good graces inside a month… I will be very surprised. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."

"Okay, thanks, later."

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It had been two weeks since Lorelai announced her engagement to her "family". Rory was busy with her community service and, in her haste to distance herself from anything like Lorelai, Rory had joined the DAR much to Emily's delight. However, in her free moments Rory would let her mind dwell on Stars Hollow and her vengeful, disowning mother.

Rory had been surprised when a moving truck appeared in her grandmother's drive. It was Kirk knocking at the door, which the maid and Mrs. Gilmore answered. "What on earth are you doing at my house, in my drive, with that horrible noisy thing?" Emily nearly shrieked.

Kirk was immediately scared and his voice began to crack, "Umm I'm sorry m'am, but…um… is Rory Gilmore here? We have a delivery for her, we need her to sign."

Upon hearing her name Rory came to the door, "Kirk?"

Kirk straightened up and tried to act distant toward Rory, as Taylor had instructed him. "Good day young lady, you mother has sent some of your things, if you would just sign here to accept delivery."

Rory was aghast, her mother actually sent her stuff. Lorelai, ever the procrastinator, took two weeks to pack up her belongings. Rory signed quickly as her heart sank. There was something so final about her Stars Hollow possessions finding their way to her new Hartford life.

"Well," Emily seemed pleased. "Why don't you pull that truck to the back and start unloading." She turned to Rory, happiness aglow on her face. "We can start unpacking tonight," she said with a smile, as if grandmother and granddaughter were the best of friends. Emily went out with errands, Richard was at work, so Rory was by herself and couldn't help sorting through all her stuff that Lorelai sent. She was hurt that she couldn't have seen her mother when it was dropped off. In yet another callous move, Lorelai had hired movers to drop off the boxes, still refusing to see her. Rory wondered if mother had purposely sent Kirk as one of the moving men, just to remind Rory of Stars Hollow and all the quirks and whimsies she was leaving behind.

This angered Rory even more and she took her car for a little excursion out of Hartford to the small town she once called home.

She turned down the familiar street and pulled up to her old home, affectionately called the 'crap shack'. Rory smiled at the viney plant that snaked and scaled the wraparound porch. The blue siding and the front window of her old room heightened her feelings about her home but then she became alarmed when she saw her mother's chuppah, the one Luke made for Lorelai, was gone. To further dismay she found a for sale sign in the front yard. This compelled Rory to hurry out of the car to the house and she wasn't surprised to find the door open, "Mom?"

The house was completely barren. The couch, the TV, the Foyer table, they were gone all gone; her mother was gone.

"…And the house has been recently tented to deter any little critters from ruining the porch, so you should have nothing to… Rory?"

"Taylor?"

"Oh excuse me folks, why don't you head on upstairs and check the master bedroom."

Rory blurted out as Taylor's friends went up the stairs, "What are you doing in the crap shack... with these people…"

Taylor laughed nervously hoping the prospective buyers didn't hear the pet name for the house and he called up the stairs, "Don't forget to check out the bathroom…" He then turned to the former model youth and harshly whispered, "Rory, do you mind I'm in the middle of a walk through."

"A walk through? Why are strangers walking through my house?"

Taylor puffed up, "Well technically, Lorelai's name is on the deed so it is her house." Like a snide cold fish he mused, "I'm not sure if I'm at liberty to say..."

"Taylor."

"Things have changed around here since you went away, missy miss." Taylor raised a scolding finger, "Don't think I don't know all about what transpired between you and Lorelai. I think it's shameful. After all, this town has watched you grow up. The entire town had its hopes centered on you; we only wanted good things for you. I was hoping when you became a world famous journalist people would be like 'oh isn't she interesting, where could such a fascinating, marvelous girl come from…' and on some biography or something they would mention your up bringing here in Stars Hollow, then boom, everyone would want to come to where the famous Rory Gilmore grew up…"

"Taylor, PLEASE!" Rory begged.

"Well, I see that that Ivy League school hasn't taught you any manners. Very well, your mother is selling this house."

"Why?" she gasped desperately.

"I don't know. Maybe it's an ungrateful daughter who forgot where she came from or perhaps she wants to start fresh with that fiancée of hers."

"Where are they?"

Taylor rolled his eyes, "It's a small town, why don't you investigate. You were going to be a journalist for pity's sake. Now if you don't you mind it is very difficult to sell a house with only one real bedroom especially since these two are newlyweds, I just hope they don't have children one day. What I wouldn't give for a seasoned couple to move to Stars Hollow and take this house off my hands. Anyway, I've got people to attend to. Good-bye," he said as he turned and walked up the stairs to the couple who were admiring the coziness of the bedrooms.

Rory used to have that report gut instinct, till Logan's father had silenced it. Rory was dumbfounded as she sulked down the porch steps. That little voice returned, shyly telling Rory: the diner. Then, Rory saw Babette getting her mail. If anyone could catch her up on what she missed, it would be Babette.

"Babette!" Rory cried across the lawn.

"Oh," Babette was startled and became glum at the sight of Rory rushing over to her. "Hey sugar."

"Tell me, tell me everything."

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The bells jingled above the diner's door and Luke called over his shoulder, "Take a seat anywhere. I'll be with you in a minute." Luke was brewing another pot of coffee for his public fiancée and secret wife. Luke's mind kept thinking of the ring hanging from his neck, safely hidden under his flannel shirt. He kept racking his brain trying to think of something piffy, witty, appropriate, and romantic to engrave on Lorelai's wedding ring. It would be hard to surprise her since she wore it all the time around her neck as he did. Then, there was the issue of the engagement ring. The gossiping biddies of Stars Hollow had been on his case as to why Lorelai wasn't wearing a ring yet, he was temped to point out that she was but then the whole elopement plot would have been exposed and they would never hear the end of it.

When Luke turned to his new customer he stopped in his tracks, it was Rory, a shy, placid Rory. "Hi Luke."

"Hey?"

"Umm, I hear congratulations are in order… you finally got the nerve…to you know…" Rory smiled lamely, regretting she wasn't apart of her mother's and Luke's moment.

"Well, actually, she asked me…and well I…"

"Really?" That news surprised Rory into a brief silence. "Well, that sounds like her."

"Yeah, she usually gets what she wants," Luke nodded uncomfortably.

"And now she wants you," she said half-heartedly. One of Rory's main points to come back to Stars Hollow was to warn Luke about how her mother had a problem with following through in these romantic situations, proven time and time again with Christopher and with Max. However, Rory knew Lorelai well enough to know that her proposing was a sign that maybe her mother had grown up, that maybe Lorelai had really found "it" with Luke, that she was finally ready to have a really marriage on her own terms. "Well, congratulations anyway…" Rory offered lamely.

"Thanks. We wanted to tell you, you know, right away, but ummm, well under the circumstances…"

"Yeah, Mom told me in her little speech to me and my grandparents."

"Speech? Aw right that thing at the house a few weeks ago…" Luke almost hated to ask, "What exactly did she say?"

Rory tried to block thoughts of her mother and Luke getting busy, "Just that you were getting married, and well, that no matter what, she loved you and would never give you up…"

"Well, I guess I'm sort of going to be your… step father… I hope you don't you know resent me for…well stealing your mom away," Luke tried to joke.

"No, no, I'm really happy for you two. It's about time," Rory nodded. She didn't know what to ask Luke first. She had questions about the new house and about Lorelai. She really wanted to know if Lorelai even mentioned her or even thought about her former daughter at all.

As if reading her mind Luke assured, "she thinks about you every day, whether she admits it or not."

"Thanks."

"Hey how about some coffee?"

"Sure, I've gotta tell you I've missed it."

Luke poured Rory a cup of Java and it was just like before. She could have come in from a rough day at Chilton and Luke offered her a comforting cup of coffee and a doughnut. Only one thing was missing, one person. It was kind of weird, pulling apart her doughnut and Lorelai not being there. Rory began to wonder if Lorelai was at work, just as distracted as Rory was, or if the prospect of a new life was so appealing Lorelai hardly turned her mind to Rory, despite what Luke said.

"Luke," was called from the stairs behind the curtain, "is that coffee ready yet?" Rory's heart began to beat faster as the offender, the woman in question, her mother, Lorelai, was thudding down the stairs that came from Luke's apartment. "I hate purging!" Lorelai hollered. "In the new house can we just have 10 rooms of storage? I mean the kitchen has to remain a kitchen so you can feed me… and we will need the bedroom for obvious reasons…and we can just watch movies in bed…" Lorelai emerged from the curtain and froze at the sight of her daughter and a doughnut at the counter. Lorelai's gaped mouth was almost as wide as her eyes and choked out, "Rory?" Lorelai recovered quickly and whispered harshly to her secret husband through gritted teeth, "A little warning would have been nice."

"Hi Mom," Rory whispered.

"Hi," Lorelai crossed her arms, unable to look at her daughter.

Luke decided to distract Lorelai. "Coffee?" he asked, offering her the cup he had started to pour as soon as he heard her thudding down the stairs.

Lorelai took a deep, cleansing breath, took the coffee cup, and went to sit at the counter, several places down from Rory. She took a long sip of coffee and turned towards her daughter, determined not to let her feelings show. "Hey Rory, what brings you here?"

Rory's jaw dropped at her mother's carefree attitude. It was like she didn't care that Rory crossed enemy lines to come to Stars Hollow, to dare show her face in a burg that was assumed and understood to be her mother's turf. All the anger she felt towards her mother and herself finally boiled over and she just started yelling, "Why are you selling my house!"

Lorelai was taken aback for a few seconds, but recovered quickly and kept her same nonchalant, 'she's just a visitor' attitude. "Actually, it is my house. I paid the mortgage, the bills, and kept the roof over our heads. Therefore, it is my right to sell it. Luke, babe, can I get a muffin?"

Luke cautiously filled the request, looking back and forth between the mother and daughter.

"You didn't ask me what I thought! I don't want to move! I grew up in that house!" Rory cried, still not believing her mother's carefree attitude.

"Rory, you already moved," Lorelai said evenly. "You moved to Hartford to live with your grandparents who are apparently more willing to let you give up your dream. You didn't consult me at all in your decision to leave Yale or move in with Emily and Richard, so tell me why exactly I should consult with you about my decision to sell my house. It isn't big enough now that Luke and I are getting married and I want to have more children with him."

"Why, so you can replace me?" Rory said, bitterly, not wanting to concede her stance. "You are just going to run away like you did with Dad and Max! You are going to break Luke's heart, just like you do everyone else's."

Luke had been standing behind the counter attempting to give support to Lorelai, as well as Rory, but at those words, he hustled to the door and locked it, happy that there was no one else in the diner right now. He turned back towards the counter and he could see by Lorelai's fallen face that Rory's words wounded her deeply. He was about to go intervene when Lorelai began speaking.

"Of all the things you could have said to me that had to be the worse. You know that I love Luke, you know it almost killed me when we broke up. I know you are mad at me, but why would you say something like that. I am not going to run away from Luke."

Rory, with a smug grin, glad that she was able to finally rattle Lorelai continued in the same vein, not listening to that little voice that was telling her she was crossing the line and was being petty and mean. "Why shouldn't I think that? You said you loved me, but you tossed me aside the second I didn't do what you wanted." Rory turned to Luke, who was standing by the door, stunned that little Rory, who walked around with angel wings, could be this cruel. "Make sure you always do what she wants Luke. Otherwise, she'll just throw you aside and find a better model. You had better keep your apartment so if she runs off you have a place to stay."

"That won't happen, Rory," Lorelai said softly.

"It's your M.O., Mom. I would put bets on it in Vegas that you two will not be married."

"You'd lose."

"Why is that?" Rory said, turning towards Lorelai and seeing the look and hurt and disbelief on her face as she pulled a necklace out from under her shirt.

"Because we are already married," she said softly, smiling at Luke and putting the ring on her finger. She turned back to Rory and saw the stunned anger mixed with a hidden happiness on her face. "I'm sorry you weren't there, but like I said, you didn't want to be part of my life anymore." Lorelai walked over to where Luke stood in the middle of the diner, kissed his cheek, and whispered in his ear before going back up the stairs to his apartment.

Rory jumped up, like she was going to chase her mother down, but Luke's voice stopped her. "Rory, I think you need to go. Don't hesitate to call or even visit again, I'm sure things will get better."

Rory just shook her head and walked toward the door. In her need to get out she couldn't process that the door was locked and stood there for a few moments struggling with the knob. Luke went to his stepdaughter and stilled her struggling hands. Luke let her out, seeing the hurt in her huge blue orbs, as she sadly, but proudly went out the door, Luke locking it behind her. Rory paused to look in the windows and saw Luke turn the sign to closed and ran up the stairs after his wife. It was strange to think about, her mother was his wife. For forever Luke had been a hermit and had rocked the Stars Hollow gossip scene with his first marriage. Rory just shook her head and walked toward her car just wanting to get back to the pool house and sleep. She'd figure out what she was feeling later, right now she just needed to get away from this town.

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A/N: show down in the diner!

A/N:How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables

I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Dont think its too late

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Well i hoped that since we're here anyway
We could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up stringing
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

Solo

How the hell did we wind up like this
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Lets rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong
just as long as
you know that someday I will

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a very special message from our beloved beta, Localizy:
GO CHICAGO BEARS!

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It's going to get worse before it gets better, (if it ever can be better again)

Watch at your own risk, you will always be welcome here, the comfort zone.

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"That was all God given talent..." why thank you NON POD Luke!
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R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."
Please be specific with R/R; name one (or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) At least one specific thing you liked

Please! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)

Hence the Rant option below.

Insert Rant here V
A/N: if not completely satisfied with this chapter, please return unused portion for a full refund...